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Head Scritches

[All comics in order here]

Hood assistant

Prompt

Part 1

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Contrary to popular belief, Red Hood wasn't actually a bad boss, Danny could attest to that. It had been a couple of years since he escaped from Amity Park; he left no revelation behind, no angry parents, no alerted government but his own city was suffocating him.

The chain of responsibility they put around his neck was getting tighter and if he didn't do something he was going to be unable to breathe soon.

Although he felt a bit on the run, he didn't inform anyone that he was leaving, only Team Phantom, Val and Mr. Lancer knew, to be honest, ever since his argument with his parents at Christmas time half the town suspected that he would go away.

Everyone knew that he had moved into Tucker's house temporarily so it was just a matter of time, his parents don't resent him for it, Jazz claimed that this was because they kept analyzing their Christmas discussions, trying to see how much of his childhood they had screwed up in a pointless argument. He supposed it was ironic, his parents' weakness was the knowledge of how much they had failed his children and how they couldn't fix it.

¿Who would have said? Jazz's complaints were finally being heard, all that was needed was one correct moment during that year's argument, a moment where Danny felt that enough had been done, enough to avoid blaming his parents for his mistakes, enough to vent his anger on half the world's favorite holiday, enough of hurting him.

So he yelled at them, he tearfully rebuked them for ruining another Christmas, for taking away the happiness of the most festive day of the year where not even the ghosts fought. And for once, he made them listen.

Although the reason for his escape was perhaps more due to his change in appearance, since his black hair had some tangled white lines, he lied that it was gray hair but he didn't know how long such a lie could last. His eyes were at least as blue, although Sam mentioned that there were times when his right eye would turn a more turquoise coloration, Tucker assured him that he could pass it off as partial heterochromia, he wasn't so sure.

Clockwork at least claimed that it was quite normal for the ghost half of him to bleed a bit into his human half and vice versa. He didn't understand what he meant until he noticed that Phantom had a little hint of blue present in his radioactive eyes and hidden black hair.

Or maybe, he had just gotten tired after years of fighting for people who didn't return the kindness. Whatever the reason, both his sister and his friends decided to support him along the way.

Amity Park was the beginning of the story, but it was a moment to close that chapter, to be more than the laboratory victim or the hated hero. All he wanted was to be Danny again. Maybe a self-discovery journey would help with that. And if he had a dream or two about finding someone to love him like just Danny, that was his business.

Turns out you could make a deal with the ghosts, set up fight meetings for the recurring ghosts, and disable the portal without consequences (the latter was pretty straightforward, with Tucker's help he explained to his parents that whatever made it work in the first place probably faded, and that at least wasn't a lie, these days he felt like he was fading, and that only gave him more reasons to leave)

At first he thought that everything felt too easy, his parents were listening to reasons, the ghosts agreed to organize something, the town accepted that without a portal there were no ghosts and that Daniel Fenton wanted to get away from his parents.

And for a few seconds he considered staying, sucking the air into his lungs and breathing, but it was too much. When did his city feel more like a burden than a home? When had it been unanimously decided that all the protection would be left to the dead child? And when they stopped caring? Did they ever care?

With the portal desactivated and his studies finished Danny headed to Gotham, he was so tired that he didn't even care to look for a suitable place, but at least he knew that the G.I.W would not dare to arrive without alerting the bat, the cowards. 

And it was ironic, really, that the most polluted city in the world was the one that finally let him breathe, that his lungs filled with smoke but made him feel so ridiculously free that he was addicted. No one expected anything from him here and he was sure that he could go to the side of the city where the bat was not allowed to enter. Something about a criminal lord, never mind, for the first time in years Danny was enjoying living, or what was left of his life.

As it turns out, however, college was expensive, he spent his savings on his classes and wandered around at night, wondering how he could improve his lifestyle; His apartment wasn't too bad, but living in Crime Alley wasn't a 5-star hotel, especially since it was the only part of Gotham that didn't have "Rogue insurance," so his repairs weren't guaranteed when the Joker decided to sulk at his specific piece of town because Batman chose to ignore him, joy.

Now, Danny had nothing against prostitutes asking him if he was interested in a job, he just didn't think it was the right way for him to earn money. The prostitute, Sara, apparently found it amusing that he thought he was being offered a job there, she commented that he was a cute boy but too high-strung, and laughingly led him towards their usual guards.

It was then that he met Bill, a Hood worker who had currently been assigned to take care that the night workers were taken care of by guys who were too arrogant or rude; at first it seemed strange that he would talk about working with a criminal in the middle of the street, but he supposed that being a crime lord goon had to have some advantages. And maybe it was common sense not to be scared in your boss's territory, he wouldn't know.

"Isn't it dangerous? Working for him, I mean" he questioned curiously, Bill gave him an offended look and began to rant about what a good boss Red Hood was, how he helped the kids and improved the quality of life in Crime Alley, as well as stressing that he was paid quite well so he really had no reason to complain and yes, the raids were dangerous at times, but there were backup plans in case of death, it seemed like they had thought of everything.

"So do you know if he's hiring?" Many could say that Danny did not have survival instincts in his entire body, he could attest that he did not have them, in his entirety; he was already dead, working with a crime lord wasn't going to kill him more than normal, and at least it seemed like he had morals. Regarding the children at least, regarding the weapons, well, his house was already a bunker, he didn't see any difference between the two.

At the end of the day Bill pointed out the Red Hood contact, telling him he wouldn't regret his decision, he honestly doubted it, but his parents were already basically registered mad scientists what was another deadly dubious connection in his life, though that yes, he was going to take Bill's warnings about not betraying them to heart, he didn't feel like repeating the million dollar hunt again.

He still had the scars on his back from the annual deadly ghost hunt or whatever they called it, and while he could heal his wounds and it was unlikely to be completely killed by a normal bullet, he knew he was still going to feel all the pain that it implied.

He thanked Sara as he walked out with the number in his hand, she winked at him and said that if he was still interested in working in their establishments she could help, after which he ran off completely embarrassed with the girl's laughter in the background.

He called the number they had given him and after a somewhat awkward conversation and a long waiting period he was assigned a position. At first he wondered if he would have to be part of a drug bust or something, maybe even shoot a gun, but when he got to the right place he saw no signs of guns or crime lords.

He frowned in surprise and entered the building, the moment he looked around he realized it was a soup kitchen, a stall to give food to those who didn't have much, he would have considered attending one if his ghost half didn't keep him perfectly without so much food.

Although he could still hear Lunch Lady's complaints in his ears about it, she visited him every two weeks with a lunch box full of food. Who knew that his former Rogues are really just mother hens? Johnny even gave him a jacket to look "tough" on his first day on the job!

Who had told the biker about his morally dubious job was still in doubt, though he had his eyes on Technus, he was a top-notch gossip and always checking Danny's gadgets to make sure no one was "watching" him, he couldn't complain much of that because it kept Vlad's pesky spy bugs away.

At least the jacket was nice, it was dark blue with stars and little ghosts painted on the back, her favorite constellations were marked, the inside was bright green with white and the best part, she discovered it was reversible! Probably for the times when he transformed, the best of both worlds, indeed. But he probably should get out of his own head, people had stared at him.

Taking a closer look he noticed that someone was calling him, he seemed quite an attractive boy, his hair had a white streak in the center that looked familiar, and he felt strangely connected to him, but he supposed it was his assumption. He probably stared at her too long because the pretty boy scoffed.

Behind the boy Bill called the others to point out how Danny had been staring at Jason, Bill was wondering how he could warn his new coworker not to flirt with the boss's boyfriend, he had liked the boy, so he decided to tell the others to inform Danny about the situation before it was too late, this of course was not noticed by the two involved.

"You're the new recruit aren't you?" He questioned stirring the bowl of soup. Jason was a little puzzled by the stranger who had asked him for a job like it was something extremely common, not a sign of fear in his voice even though he knew he was talking to a crime lord, it was an interesting development.

He didn't ask the bats for help, but Babs offered to go through the boy's files. The archives were extremely normal, if quite irregular, or at least what little there was of it was, he seemed to come from a place guarded by the government, all his files were sealed: his parents, friends, teachers.

Oracle was having so much fun (and frustration) with it, why was an entire branch of government concentrated in one city? More importantly, how did someone at the center of it manage to escape? He would be lying if he said he wasn't intrigued.

"Yes, my name is Danny, this is more...normal, than I thought" he looked around, the children looked excited and despite the number of people who were obviously related to Red Hood they looked, well, safe. Something in his core pulsed with sympathy, he wondered how tired Hood was after doing so much good and being seen as a criminal, even though he had judged him at the beginning but he felt that he no longer had the right to do so.

"Yeah, it's not what everyone would think of us, you can call me Jay, I'm Hood's assistant, or whatever you want to call it, I take care of the children, and for the moment I'll be your superior so don't expect gun raids anytime soon." It was really fun to disguise himself as his own assistant, he could keep a close eye on his men while also providing a cover for his civilian identity.

"I didn't know crime lords needed assistants" Danny smirked, because damn, crime lord assistants had no right to be so pretty, although he was a little relieved to be assigned to a non-dangerous sector, even though he had no gun issues this felt so much better to him, more right.

Of course, if he is called for a raid he could use many types of weapons, courtesy of his crazy parents. He knew how to use each rare type of weapon and the effect they would have on the person he used it against, also his mother had trained him in melee and his experience as a vigilante should count for something, but then again, he really preferred this position.

He wondered what team Phantom would say about his new job, he was aware that they wouldn't be very happy and at least half of them would tell him to quit, but Danny trusted his instincts and his instincts told him that Red Hood was not a villain. Jason just confirmed that fact. The people of Crime Alley spoke too highly of him for it to be an irrefutable fact.

And boy did he have experience with people crying out to the heavens about evil and villains, personal experience, so he would let the actions of his new boss be worth more than the words whispered by the world.

"Well they do, after all, angry people are not always wise," Jason shrugged, "enough talking Doll, start stirring that soup because we've got hungry customers to feed ¿okay?"

"Yeah, right"

Jason was wondering about this particular operation, the mystery boy “Danny” was quite cute, he followed instructions to the best of his ability and was always looking at him to see if he was doing it correctly, that didn't completely rule out his suspicions, but it could admit that the boy's face of concentration was cute.

He hit his head to come back to reality, this was not the time to admire the suspect, the suspect who immediately stopped working to ask if he was okay and if he needed anything, Jason denied and told him that he tried to kill a bug, to which Danny burst out laughing.

Behind them the other goons looked at each other with concern, they were almost sure they had seen Jason with heart eyes for a second and it was necessary to warn Danny of the danger he was in, they didn't want a jealous Red Hood and a head in a bag, the head of their co-worker, they prayed for the boy's safety. They would warn him as soon as Jason walked away, Bill was determined.

Maybe if Danny was paying more attention, he would have noticed the ectoplasmic signature on the man, and since his own core was very slowly leaking out the corruption,sadly Danny isn't as observant, and Jason wasn't interested in the particularly cold weather of the day.

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This is just the begging honestly, I have a lot of ideas for this and Meta Babysitter, so I will probably update it (just not that frequently, if you have suggestions tell me!) Still thinking if upload it in Ao3 or not.

@skulld3mort-1fan @sorryiwonnoob @idfk-man10 @justwannabecat @spidey29phangirl @spectralstardustandphantomnights @avelnfear @criticaloverthinker @confusedandghostly

WE KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS NOW AND I HATE AND LOVE IT

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THIS, NOMURA?

I know there’s an existing post somewhere, but here’s the list of OBGYNs in the USA and other countries that will perform tubal ligation (aka female sterilization) without arguing with you

Google Docs

Gynecologists who will perform a tubal sterilization

Gynecologists who will perform a tubal sterilization

can he sit on your dash for a minute?? he'll be very polite :]

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