Instead Of "Looked", Consider

Complicated and Beautiful

Another SKK short drabble i wrote that is inspired by the song "Forth of July" by Sufjan Stevens.

Dazai could feel the grass tickling the back of his neck as the bitter cold of the summer night bite at his exposed skin. Laying in the grass for a moment of peace. The quiet city noises were calming after a day of high adrenaline and violent sights. 

Eyes closed, the darkness was overwhelming. He never had liked the darkness, it left his mind to wander to dangerous places. The nights were the worst, alone in bed he had no way to escape from those dangerous thoughts. Plagued by the most inconceivable thoughts that his tainted mind could conjure. 

That is why he refused to close his eyes, and instead looked up at his partner who sat at his side. The softest breeze rustled the loose strands of ginger hair while his eyes gazed upon the city. Chuuya had hugged his knees to his chest while his breathing was rhythmic, calming Dazai as he matched their breathing patterns. 

“Why us?” 

Chuuya nearly missed it, it was the softest whisper and the wind nearly stole those words.

“What do you mean, ‘Why us?”

“Why do we have to be such monsters?”

“What exactly makes you think you're a monster?”

“I am not Human, Chuuya. I don't feel empathy, or remorse, or any emotion that a normal human should feel-” Dazai sat up, he was now able to look into Chuuya’s eyes. The lights of the city reflected in them perfectly. He couldn't look away. 

“Yes you do” Chuuya leaned over, gently cupping dazai’s cheek with his gloved hand. “You feel just as much as anyone else, you just don't understand your own feelings but they are there” 

“No… They’re not-”

“Yes. They are.” 

Chuuya’s voice was firm. Bringing Dazai closer, he rested Dazai’s head on his chest. “You feel anger whenever you see someone you love hurt, you feel sadness whenever you think you caused something, you feel happiness in moments like this. Your emotions are as beautiful as they are complicated” 

Complicated and Beautiful. 

“Don't think for a moment that your faults make you any less Human” and with that, Chuuya gives a soft kiss upon the top of Dazai's head as Dazai listens to the strong and steady heartbeat of his partner.

Also can be found on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54285736

I forgot I have to post something so people know I'm not a bot sooooo

Hi, if you just so happen to know me irl then no you don't.

Could you maybe reblog this post if you think respecting trans peoples' names and identities is a basic right and not a political opinion?

No pressure. Just seeking some validation of my sentiment. Due to some. people

broken promises / bsd 117 coloring

Hey remember when US and Russia was all like “We’re the best!!! We’ve won the space race!!!!” But India sent a kick-ass space probe to Mars and the whole mission was fuel efficient, costed less and a roaring success in the first try and then they were like “…..wait no that can’t be true” and still have the audacity to call us “underdeveloped” or only view us as a ‘third world country’? :)

For anyone who needs more info, the probe was called Mangalyaan (which literally means space probe vehicle) or Mars Orbiter Mission (MOM) and you can also get more information here and here

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dazai Osamu/Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs) Characters: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Dazai Osamu is a Mess (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu is Bad at Feelings (Bungou Stray Dogs), Soft Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Caring Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya is So Done (Bungou Stray Dogs) Series: Part 15 of Dazatsu reunions Summary:

Chuuya was going to make sure Dazai leaves the Port Mafia again, whether he liked it or not.

The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy

I tried to scroll past this. I really did

A Wish Breathed Into You

AU where Siffrin is the Savior after The King froze Vauguarde.

[Siffrin & Odile] [Alternate Universe, Second Person POV, Siffrin POV]

Follow up fic: Trust The Rogue To Lead You

You remember Vaugarde. Your earliest memory was wandering the shores, alone and confused, the kind hands of strangers reaching out to you and the odd twist of their words calming your upset mind. It was a kind place. A welcoming place. You had loved it and left it, because you were afraid that if you planted your feet too hard, you would wake up once more without any memories, history, a name…

You never wanted to lose another home, so you had refused to make one. You moved on to Poteria. And Andira. And any other place that you could think of, too afraid to stop and risk losing everything.

But while you ran from Vaugarde, afraid to lose it, someone else has moved in. They had planted their roots, refusing to move or to let anything else move around them. They had chosen to preserve their memories in the only way they knew how, making themselves into a gravemarker and taking Vaugarde with them to the grave.

You'd been halfway around the world at the time. There was nothing that you could have done. Nothing that anyone could have done, you assume, because no one did it. No one stopped it. Vaugurde was frozen in time and unlike your home, long lost to the ashes of whatever had burned it from yours and everyone else's mind, it was made into an everlasting memorial.

You had been afraid to forget Vaugarde, to lose it, but you never wanted to keep it like this.

No one had been able to do anything, but… you could. You knew that you could.

You hadn't been able to explain it to your companion at the time. She had asked you a ton of questions when you insisted that you needed to go there, but you hadn't been able to tell her more than, "I have to help. I'm the only one that can."

She looked at you with a deep well of skepticism. You thought that it would be the end of your time together. That she would call you crazy and leave to find more stable company. You were never the best company, you didn't think. Your memories slipped away from you like sand, you got antsy staying in one place too long, and you were terrible at explaining yourself.

She surprised you though, closing her book with a deep sigh, and offering you a wry smile. "I suppose I always did intend to visit the country, though this wasn't how I thought I would ever do it."

You felt warm inside at her agreement. It was nice, having someone at your side that didn't leave you at the first sign of your… well, everything. You didn't know how to properly express your gratitude though, so all you did was smile up at her and say, "Thanks Odile."

"It wouldn't feel right to let you go on such a dangerous journey all alone," she added. "We're traveling companions, aren't we?"

"Yeah," you agreed softly. It meant twice as much to you as it did to her, you were pretty sure, but the sentiment was one that you wanted to hold onto with all of your might. You never wanted to forget Odile. The way that you never forgot Vaugarde, even though you'd always feared that you would. "We are."

It had taken more than a month to travel to Vaugarde from where you were. There had been numerous warnings from everyone that you met along the way. From those that had fled, those that lived along the borders, those that had been curious enough to go take a look at the frozen country, and they all had advice to give you.

The country had become… cold. As if all the warmth was frozen like everything else. A negative space, almost like a vacuum, you thought. You… weren't sure why you thought that.

You didn't think about it.

You took in everyone's advice. Odile took notes and talked with you about the best way to prepare for what you'd find there.

You shared with her your memories of Vaugarde, as best as you could. There were holes in it like everything else you touched, but Odile was attentive and patient, more greedy for this part of you than any other. It was almost embarrassing how much attention she gave you when you opened up about this, and she teased you when your face darkened and you tried to hide in the collar of your cloak. It was… nice though. Comfortable. Friendly.

You didn't tell Odile this, couldn't think of how to say it without sounding greedy, needy, and presumptuous, but you thought of her as a friend. Maybe as more than a friend? She was literally the most important person that you had, but you felt like saying that was… too much. So you didn't. You tucked it away somewhere inside you and cherished the time that the two of you spent together like nothing else you ever had.

When you finally arrived in Vaugarde, you felt like you were walking through glass. The town was like a dollhouse, everyone frozen in the middle of talking, eating, running. It was haunting. You felt like you were walking through a picture book, through a memory you weren't supposed to see.

"Gems alive," Odile swore softly, horrified in much the same way you were.

They said there were things called Sadness here. Manifestations of regret and sorrow. Walking through the town, you could understand how such a thing could be true. So many people whose lives were interrupted, stolen… How else could they feel, other than hopeless? What was left for them other than despair?

"It's okay," you say softly. There's a well of confidence in your words that you can't explain. You know that you can fix this. It won't be quick. You'll need to destroy the Sadness overrunning the area if this is going to work, you know that too, without being able to explain how you know it. But you can do it. You know you can. "We'll fix it."

Odile's expression is a mix of devastation and hope. You know she didn't really believe you before, but seeing the reality of things made her want to. She truly hopes that you know what you're doing, but even if you don't, she's prepared to stand beside you through that failure. You're really grateful to her for that.

"I… hope that you're right, Siffrin," is all that she says.

Fighting takes more time than you thought it might. There were only the two of you, after all. You were fast and Odile had access to all craft types, but two people versus multiple Sadnesses was never going to be easy. You spend a few hours clearing out an area and then retreat over the border to sleep. The weeks since Vaugarde had frozen had proven that the curse was no longer moving, so you both felt safe there. There was no indication that the curse moved anymore at all, since you both knew that others had visited the ruins of Vaugarde. Better to be safe than sorry, though.

It took two full days, with both of you making sure to take long rest in between bouts of fighting. Once you were done, you went to the Favor Tree that the town was built around. Favor Trees were specific to Varguarde, but you knew that they were the best place to do this. They were a place that gathered the hopes and happiness of people. A place where people laid their hearts bare. If there was any place where you thought the universe would be listening, anyplace where you thought they'd hear you if you screamed your loudest and hardest, it was here.

The leaves of the tree were frozen, but you had already prepared another way to make this happen. You sat at the base of the tree, aware of Odile standing behind you and watching curiously over your shoulder. You took out a piece of paper and folded a paper crane. You whispered your wish three times into paper as you folded, then you wrapped a string around it and hung it from the tree.

The crane would hold your wish, the string would bind it together, bind it to the ground. One wouldn't be enough though, you knew that. You folded three. And then six. And then nine.

When you got to nine, you knew that you had done enough. They were spaced apart, hanging from the Favor Tree, but you knew that you had done this right. Your wish was safe, nestled deep with the heart of the cranes, grounded to the tree, to the earth. All that was left…

"We have to wait until nightfall," you say. The universe didn't only grant wishes at night, but this was important, you needed to do this right. You needed to make sure you told the Universe your wish as clearly as possible, and you needed to know how the universe would answer.

Odile looked up to the sky. "That's easy enough, it shouldn't be long now."

You smiled at her, making yourself comfortable at the base of the tree, and waited. Odile came to sit beside you, resting on one of the large roots rather than the ground. She didn't ask questions, though you could tell that she wanted to. You were glad that she had decided to wait.

Once the stars were visible in the sky, you stood up. You went around touching each crane, thinking your wishes loudly as you could as you climbed the branches of the tree. You looked to the sky, finding the brightest star, and you whisper your wish one last time.

For a long time, nothing happens. The world is still.

Then suddenly, it isn't. You look up in time to see a ball of heat and light falling toward you. You raise your hands above your head to catch it.

You don't know why, but you know what to do.

The Universe leads…

…you decide to follow.

You open your mouth wide…

It burns all the way down. It coats your mouth with sugar, feels sticky and thick, like syrup. You want to scream, it hurts so badly, but you can't. You can't! All you can do is swallow over and over again as you try and force the hard, hot lump down your throat.

With every swallow you feel the heat infusing you with more and more heat. You feel like the Universe is breathing a wish into you, instead of the other way around.

You blink and you find yourself on the ground.

"Siffrin!"

You… fell. From the tree. But you don't even feel your own body.

Your eyes are drawn to the cranes as they start to light up, until they're as bright as the stars in the sky.

You open your mouth with the intention to say that they're beautiful…

You scream instead.

You scream and scream until your throat is raw and ragged, until you're so breathless that you can't breathe.

You can't breathe!

You don't breathe.

You pass out.

You wake up with a gasp!

Your body is cradled in Odile's arms, which is odd because she's only rarely touched you before this point. It's nice though, so you don't fight it. You don't feel hurt, like you remember being. You don't feel hot or raw at all. Around you, the area around the Favor Tree seems to have come to life.

It worked…

It worked! Your wish worked!

"Thank the Expressions, you're alright!" Odile exclaims. She pulls you further into her arms and you… breathe. You breathe. You relax like your body has been wound tight the entire time and you feel everything pour out of you. "Don't scare me like that, Siffrin."

"Sorry," you say softly. One hand is on the arm she has wrapped around you, as if you can keep her there, though you'd never try if she pulled away from you. Luckily she doesn't. "It's working though!"

Odile seemed startled, as if she hadn't noticed the change happening around you. Maybe her eyes had been so focused on you that she hadn't looked away. Now, they're wide as she watches the way life slowly seeps into the land around you both. The curse is receding. Not far. You knew, somehow, that this process would be slow. One town at a time.

It could kill you if you tried to do more than that, and you weren't sure it would work that way besides. You weren't sure how you knew, but you did. You knew.

Just like you knew that the nagging feeling leading you this whole time had been from the Universe. Making a wish just like you always did.

Maybe it hadn't been that only you could do, just that the Universe needed someone to do it and you were the only one that had answered its call. It made you smile, that you could do something for the Universe, for Vaugarde. Your first home had been lost, but maybe…

Maybe you could build another one after all. Maybe you could breathe life into Vaugarde the way that it had breathed life into you.

"I think you owe me an explanation," Odile said, her expression steely even as she still seemed to be looking over you.

You laugh, happy and exhausted and a host of other emotions that you weren't fully sure how to explain or even name. "Yeah, I guess I do."

I stumbled upon a website that allows you to blend any colors evenly no matter how opposite on the spectrum they are.

sharing the knowledge

very helpful art resource

why did this show up when I was writing that tag

what happens in in stars and time?????