"Would You Keep It Safe, Oh One With All The Secret Pockets?"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHUUYAAAAAAA

OK SO I HAVE A FIC FOR HIS B-DAY BUT I PROBABLY WONT BE ABLE TO GET IT FINISHED AND POSTED TO AO3 UNTIL LIKE TOMMOROW OR WEDNESDAY SO ILL GIVE EVERYONE A LIL SNIPPET FOR OUR BIRTHDAY BOY

Now, normally, Dazai was never into celebrating. But today, oh today was different. Today, it was Chibi's birthday. Dazai had decided to skip work for the perfect chance at getting under the slugs skin today. He could deal with Kunikidas complaints on missing work pretty much all of last week tomorrow. He went into a brightly colored and well lit shop, and as swiftly as he came in, he was gone with a white plastic bag now in tow. He looked particularly cheery walking on the sidewalk, and he enjoyed his peaceful little stroll all the way to Chuuyas house. The closer he got, the more excited he became. He couldn't wait to see the slugs face when he barged into the orange haired man's apartment, and especially the face said man would make at the wonderful gift he was going to get.

Dazai had gotten to the door and then entered the pin to get in. Silly Chibi, never changing the lock code after all these years. He busted through the door, though he didn't break it this time. He would be a little courteous today, considering the date and all. Though, when Dazai didn't hear an angry slug yelling, or even him running over to the door to see what the noise was, he became a little confused. Was Chuuya really not off today? He thought that Koyou had convinced him to take the day off. Maybe it didn't work? But if that was the case, then why were the extra locks on the door not turned on?

“Chibi~ Where are you~ it's rude to hide from your owner you know!”

…

No reaction? Did something happen? Dazai finally actually stepped into the apartment, and carefully closed the door behind him. Then, cautiously, he looked around the apartment for any signs of the little slug. When he glanced over the couch, he saw Chuuya, but something was off.

Sure, he was in his hilariously adorable pajamas, and even wore the pants Dazai gave to him forever ago as a prank gift. The old joke mug was on the table too, but neither of those were really unusual. After all, Dazai had done this on Chuuyas off days before, and this part was actually relatively normal. He had teased Chuuya a lot about using old gifts from Dazai a lot. Nearly every time he visited, in fact. But no matter what, Chuuya still continued to use them religiously. Even on days Dazai stayed over, he would see Chuuya drinking out of the World's Best Dog mug calmly in the morning, see how he changed into those stupid sheep pants every night. No, what was weird was that Chuuya seemed out of it.

He was staring at an old picture in a worn wooden frame, and it was like Chuuya had lost all awareness of the world around him.

Now, that wouldn't do. How was Dazai supposed to sufficiently annoy the Chibi when he was like this? So he walked up right behind Chuuya, making sure to be silent so Chuuya wouldn't notice him and hide the picture. When he saw it, everything clicked. What did Dazai do in response?

He flung his arms around Chuuya from behind of course!

“Chibiiiiii! You can't neglect your owner like this! What's the point of visiting if my dear little dog won't even pay attention to me?”

Dazai had said it in his most sing-song and pouty voice possible. Chuuya had finally snapped out of it. And swung his head back to look at Dazai.

“huh!? What the hell, Mackerel!? The fuck are you doing at my place!”

“Your hat must have finally eaten your brain if you hadn't realized what day it is! Why wouldn't I visit my dear dog on such a special day~”

“stop calling me your fucking dog! Of course I didn't forget what day it is! I just thought you had the sense to remember that I don't fucking celebrate it. Did the agency finally make you lose all your damn sense?”

“Chibis so mean! I even bothered to get you a present, and you still bully me!”

There, Chuuya had finally put the picture down on the table.

“I swear to fucking God if you got me a replacement for that dumbass slug shirt I'm throwing you out the damn window.”

“Rude! I would never reuse the same joke!”

“Yes the fuck you would!”

“Hmph! Well, either way, I got you something even better!”

This was my first time grabbing a writing snippet so sorry if it starts and ends weirdly TAT Hope you like it though and of course Happy Birthday to our little mafioso!

i hate that the phrase "netflix and chill" became code for sex cause wtf is my asexual ass meant to say if i just wanna chill and watch TV shows now ??

hey you wanna chill and watch netflix (NOT SEX) ?

I will never ever get over the fact that Dazai let himself get captured by the Port Mafia on purpose. Facing the consequence to see people again who he knows won’t welcome him with a hug on purpose. Letting himself get chained up in their torture chamber on purpose. Getting punched by his former subordinate on purpose. Mocking said former subordinate with his new subordinate, which leads to yet another punch in the face on purpose. Meeting his old partner who threatens, punches and fights him on purpose. And then that trashcan-man says with blood dripping from his mouth, a knife and a hand against his throat that he did all of this “mostly for Atsushi-kun”.

Talk about devotion, man.

Here we go y'all, one year of relating to this sad sack

Hey my server is doing a content exchange secret santa this Christmas! If you want to be a part of that we haven't officially started yet, still just gathering people until Nov. 20th (give or take a few days)

After that I will pair people up with what should work best for everyone and then sometime between Christmas and New Years we will actually exchange the content.

This will be an event taking place in my server which you can join either from my pinned post or right here:

-E

I propose all schools go back to teaching their students cursive.

Why?

BECAUSE I WRITE IN CURSIVE AND NO ONE CAN READ MY FUCKING HANDWRITING BECAUSE NO ONE TAUGHT THEM CURSIVE

I SPEND FOREVER MAKING IT LEGIBLE AND NOW YOU CANT READ IT NOT BECAUSE ITS MESSY BUT BECAUSE YOU CANT BOTHER TO TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO READ FUCKING CURSIVE

They're trying to spread the Pikachu man cult.

The only day you can reblog this post

i know vitamin c basically neutralizes adhd meds but lemonade good