Damn Girl Are You Sitting On An F5 Key Cos That Ass Is Refreshing

sorry I didn't listen to anything you just said I was busy thinking about when I can interrupt with my funnier, more superior story

“let’s run away together” trope fucks me up bc it’s almost always doomed. but what if it’s not this time.

I am not immune to little items. if there's a thingy I need it. 1million knick knacks.

I'm like if a sensitive sweetheart was a bit bitter and loathesome

im in the wrong realm and i think everyone can tell

ive never done anything wrong so if you dont like me its probably because youve got an impure heart

grant me the serenity to kill you with a brick, the courage to kill you with a brick, and the wisdom to kill you with a brick. amen

put those awesome boobs away dude now isn't the time

so hard to beat the “annoying” allegations when you’re annoying

i would make such a beautiful dead bird on the sidewalk