There Is No Such Thing As A Perfect First Draft. There Are Only Great Revisions.

Thing I love about Nico is how miserable he is

NÃO HÁ LUGAR COMO O LAR - PERCY/NICO AU COLEGIAL - CAPÍTULO XXII

Oii, como vai? Hoje teremos o capítulo completo! Talvez um pouco grande, mas eu espero que vocês gostem^^ Juntei a parte do post anterior e a outra parte é inédita, porém sem revisão. Esse capítulo foi uma improvisação, mas achei que o Percy não poderia ser um dom experiente do dia para a noite, certo?

Boa leitura.

Capítulos anteriores: CAPÍTULO I / CAPÍTULO II / CAPÍTULO III / CAPÍTULO IV / CAPÍTULO V / CAPÍTULO VI / CAPÍTULO VII / CAPÍTULO VIII / CAPÍTULO IX / CAPÍTULO X / CAPÍTULO XI / CAPÍTULO XII / CAPÍTULO XIII / CAPÍTULO XIV / CAPÍTULO XV / CAPÍTULO XVI / CAPÍTULO XVII / CAPÍTULO XVIII / CAPÍTULO XIX / CAPÍTULO XX / CAPÍTULO XXI

— Bom garoto. Tão obediente. — Nico fechou os olhos bem apertado e se negou a responder, sentindo seu corpo balançar com o efeito do orgasmo.  

Não que ele fosse capaz no momento. Não, Nico acha que nunca tinha gozado com tanta força em sua vida, e ouvir Percy falar assim com ele, o fazia estremecer ainda mais. Nico achava que nem o próprio Percy sabia o que essas palavras faziam com ele, o tom de voz aveludado e agora o toque suave que o acalentava depois de algo tão intenso. Não era apenas isso, era a forma como Percy falava com ele, como se Percy realmente estivesse orgulhoso; era a forma que Percy olhava para ele, o analisando friamente dos pés à cabeça e, ao mesmo tempo, com aquela fome no olhar que o fazia querer obedecer a cada ordem. Ele não conseguia lidar com isso, então, era melhor apenas se sentir grato por esse momento estar acontecendo. 

— E, então? — Nico ouviu Percy dizer, o sentindo tocá-lo e massagear seus braços, chegando em seu pulso para enfim abrir a algema. Engraçado, para quem tinha medo de ser preso, ele nem hesitou quando Percy sugeriu. 

— Então, o quê? — Nico murmurou, ainda ligeiramente desorientado. Ele nem mesmo conseguiu levantar os braços, permitindo que Percy continuasse a massagear a pele avermelhada. 

— Foi bom ou ruim? 

— Hmm? 

— Você gostou do que eu fiz? 

Não era obvio? 

— Eu gozei duas vezes. 

— Não quer dizer que você tenha gostado. 

— E você, gostou? — Nico rebateu, tentando se mover, o que apenas o fez cair para trás feito uma jaca podre. 

Quando Percy não respondeu, Nico olhou para ele. Era bem claro o que acontecia, Percy e seu complexo de mártir. A verdade é que ele tinha gostado, ambos tinham, e isso parecia ser um problema para Percy. 

— Eu gostei, tá bom? Quer dizer, seu queixo ainda está molhado. 

Para provar a evidência do crime, Nico se esticou todo, gemendo de dor em seus músculos e passou os dedos no rosto de Percy, mostrando o líquido a Percy. 

— É, eu acho que sim. — Mas Percy ainda tinha aquela expressão analítica, quase rígida demais, como se estivesse se preparando para dar a próxima ordem, o que se tornou verdade no final. — Fique aqui. 

— Para onde eu iria? 

— Com você eu nunca sei. Só não… fuja. Tudo bem? 

— Eu disse que não vou fazer isso de novo. Até quando você vai me culpar por isso? 

— Eu sinto muito. — Percy tentou sorrir, e quando isso não funcionou, ele deu as costas a Nico, que caiu mais uma vez nos travesseiros. 

Parecia que Nico não era o único traumatizado pelo passado. O que ele podia fazer? Essa era a história deles, às vezes feliz, outras, problemáticas. Nico não trocaria o que viveram por nada nesse mundo. Onde ele estaria se não tivesse conhecido Percy em um banheiro público de escola? O que ele teria feito se Percy fosse igual aqueles garotos? Pelo menos, eles não estariam nesse impasse. Será que se… que se ele forçasse as coisas só um pouquinho, Percy veria que não havia motivo para tanta culpa? Afinal, Percy sempre gostou da verdade e de coisas bonitas… 

— Nico.  

Se assustando, Nico viu o rosto de Percy perto demais e segurou nos ombros de Percy, o afastando. 

— No que você anda pensando, hmm? Conheço bem essa carinha. 

— Não sei do que você está falando. 

— Você não está aprontando, está? Se comporte. 

— Eu sempre me comporto. — “A não ser quando eu preciso”, Nico pensou, colocando sua expressão mais inocente. 

— Vou acreditar em você.  

Percy se sentou a seu lado e começou a limpá-lo. Em seu peito, abdômen e então no meio das pernas de Nico, suavemente deslizando uma toalha umedecida, chegando em sua entrada. 

— Você não precisa fazer isso. 

— Eu quero fazer. — Percy murmurou, o beijando no rosto. — Você tinha razão. Eu estava ausente, prometo que vou te recompensar. 

— Que tal começando agora. Me deixa te chupar? 

— Como isso pode ser uma recompensa para você? — O importante nisso tudo é que finalmente Percy tinha sorrido, acariciando seus cabelos. 

— Isso é um sim ou um não? 

— É um talvez depois. Agora, está na hora do bebê tirar uma soneca. 

— Eu não sou um bebê. 

— Então por que você está bocejando no meio da tarde? 

Era uma boa pergunta.  

Nico só deixou que Percy o cobrisse porque ele tinha se deitado a seu lado e o abraçado bem forte, também entrando debaixo das cobertas junto com ele. 

*** 

Por algum motivo, Percy se sentia exausto. Ele se permitiu relaxar no travesseiro contra as costas de Nico e fechar os olhos, apenas por um momento, apenas o suficiente para sentir o peso sair de suas costas. Era um peso metafórico, é claro, um peso que ele nem sabia estar ali. Percy nunca imaginou que a culpa poderia drenar alguém a ponto de afetá-lo fisicamente. As coisas também eram assim no passado? Percy não conseguia se lembrar. Esse era um mal hábito que ele tinha desenvolvido, outra muleta psicológica, ele sabia. Percy se esquecia e guardava a sete chaves no fundo da mente tudo o que fosse traumático ou frustrante. 

Quer saber? Ele tinha decidido não pensar no que fosse ruim ou bom, bem ou mal, e se concentraria no que fosse o certo para eles. Eles estavam confortáveis com isso? Ótimo! Parecia divertido? O fazia se sentir bem? Então, seria o que eles fariam. O que adiantava fazer o que era considerado como “normal” se isso causava tanta dor, e não do tipo que Nico parecia gostar? Era melhor se ele falasse com a mãe, só para tranquilizá-la. Percy sabia melhor do que ninguém que Sally o perturbaria até que ele falasse com ela. 

Se sentindo cansado mais uma vez, Percy saiu debaixo das cobertas, tentando não acordar Nico e viu algo caído no chão. Ele deu a volta na cama e ali no meio do caminho estava o diário que ele tinha dado a Nico. O diário estava aberto no início das primeiras folhas e tinha uma caneta presa, marcando a última página escrita.  

Ele também já tinha se esquecido disso. Felizmente, parecia que mesmo ele sendo uma pessoa horrível, Nico ainda era o mesmo doce garotinho, sempre o obediente. Sim, Percy pôde ver que Nico já tinha escrito algumas palavras e tinha personalizado a contracapa: 

DIARIO DO NICO  Se perdido, devolver para o Percy! 

Percy teve que rir, já se sentindo leve. Tinha até uns desenhos bonitinhos de corações, anjinhos e diabinhos ao redor das letras. Entretanto, o que realmente chamou sua atenção foi a página em que a caneta estava presa.  

“Eu adoro aquele tipo de espaço mental em que eu quase flutuo, quase delirante, sabe? Minha cabeça fica leve e eu não faço ideia do que quero fazer, só quero o que você quiser que eu faça. Na maioria das vezes, tudo o que sei é que quero ser fodido com tanta força que eu mal consiga falar e tudo o que eu consiga fazer seja pequenos gemidos quando você me perguntar alguma coisa.” 

“Quero o tipo de sexo que deixa marcas nos meus quadris e a forma das suas mãos na minha pele. O tipo de sexo que deixa o meu peito coberto de mordidas e as suas costas cheias de arranhões. Quero o tipo de sexo que faz o meu corpo doer e pulsar e que me faça te sentir entre as minhas pernas no dia seguinte.” 

Esse era um trecho que parecia se destacar das outras páginas, algo escrito às pressas, em garranchos despreocupados, á tinta preta e sem decorações ao redor, como se Nico não quisesse passar muito tempo com aqueles pensamentos e só precisasse despejá-los no papel. Esse foi o real motivo que o fez encarar aquelas palavras por longos momentos, estático, parado no meio do quarto com Nico ainda dormindo tranquilamente, sem nenhuma preocupação. 

Era impossível não comparar os dois estilos tipográficos. De um lado da folha, vinhas e arvores que pareciam se entrelaçar até os céus, acompanhados por linhas de poemas, simples e bonitas, do outro, uma prosa desajeitada e vulgar, permitindo a Percy ver os dois lados de Nico que ele raramente via juntos. Tinham outros desenhos, é claro. Um demônio e um anjo que ocupavam uma página inteira, descrições de personalidade e características físicas, algumas poucas linhas de narração que na página seguinte eram interrompidas por mais garranchos com pensamentos soltos. 

“Quero que você me abrace e me toque,   quero que você me faça sentir seguro e pequeno,   feito o bebê que eu nego ser.   Quero que você me diga quando ninguém estiver vendo:   "Como está o meu garoto? Ele se comportou?"   Quero ter regras e quero ter que pedir autorização.   Quero ser disciplinado quando não faço o que você mandar.” 

Percy teve que parar de folear o diário e olhar para Nico dormindo cama. 

Ele... porra! Ele queria fazer tudo isso, queria fazer todos os desejos de Nico se realizarem. E sabe por quê? Eram os mesmos que os seus. Cada palavra e confissão parecendo ser algo que ele faria se a culpa não o tivesse impedido até aquele momento. Será que essas fantasias realmente eram de Nico? Ou será que era algo que Nico tinha escrito para se vingar dele? Ou, pior ainda, era o que ele tinha levado Nico a acreditar que ambos queriam? Mas, ao mesmo tempo, Percy conseguia reconhecer Nico em cada linha, seja desajeitada ou elegante, misturado a influência que ele tinha sobre Nico e outras coisas e momentos em que Percy não esteve presente para moldá-lo. 

Sinceramente? Percy estava aliviado. Saber que Nico tinha tido outras experiencias e conhecido outras pessoas e que mesmo depois de tudo isso Nico ainda tinha voltado para ele, tirava mais uma parte do peso que ele nem sabia que levava. Entretanto, a questão importante era: Como ele poderia fazer... tudo isso sem passar dos limites? Como ele poderia se certificar que Nico não sairia disso o odiando de verdade? 

Ele... Percy precisava de ajuda. E de algumas coisas, também. Algo que fizesse Nico entender a seriedade da situação, do quanto ele desejava que Nico permanecesse seguro e feliz. Parece que esse era o momento de agir. 

*** 

Nico abre os olhos e a primeira coisa que nota é a luz do sol entrando pelas persianas, o cegando momentaneamente. Sua cabeça pulsava com uma dorzinha irritante nas têmporas, mas seu corpo estava o mais relaxado em que ele já esteve. Sua visão estava turva também, atordoado pelas endorfinas que ainda pareciam manter seu corpo calmo e sua mente maravilhosamente vazia, como se toda a ansiedade tivesse sido sugada por uma mangueira compressora. Nem mesmo suas aventuras com garotos mais experientes tinham causado esse tipo de reação nele. 

Ele olhou para o lado, esperando encontrar Percy e recebeu em troca a ausência e um pedaço de papel, Percy nem mesmo deixando seu calor para trás, o que significava que Percy tinham se levantado tempos atras. 

Bem, Nico não deveria criar expectativas quando Percy estava lidando tão mal com as coisas nos últimos tempos. E ele disse que daria tempo para Percy se acostumar com as coisas, não disse? Mesmo que fosse difícil continuar esperando por algo que talvez nem fosse acontecer, ele não tinha outra escolha. Era melhor ter a companhia de Percy do que não ter nada. Mas isso não queria dizer que ele não fosse tentar seu máximo para conseguir o que queria. 

Se dando por vencido, Nico se sentou na cama e pegou o bilhete. 

"Você dormiu bem? Eu tive que sair rapidinho.  Prometo estar de voltar para o café da manhã.  Me espere.  Per.” 

Era só isso? Era o que ele merecia depois de sentir seu mundo sacudir? Isso era tão justo! Chega! Ele iria tomar uma atitude imediatamente.  

Esquecendo da dor de cabeça e os dos músculos doloridos, Nico amassou o bilhete, o jogou em algum lugar em direção ao cesto de lixo e marchou até parar em frente ao guarda-roupa. Isso era tão ridículo! Nunca pensou que chegaria o momento em que ele teria que se rebaixar a tanto. Ele pegou a caixa com seus brinquedos, enfiou a mão no fundo dela e pegou uma embalagem lacrada, de cor preta. Era algo que a vendedora tinha sugerido e já que ele tinha comprado coisas piores, não era isso que o tornaria uma pessoa ruim. Ele colocou a pacote em cima da cama, pegou os itens que iria precisar e entrou no banheiro. Nico iria mostrar para Percy quem mandava ali. 

*** 

Percy se sentia bem melhor agora.  

Como ele poderia explicar? Bem... tinha um lugar, um tipo de bar, e ele tinha ficado curioso, sabe? Percy nunca participou, entretanto... ele tinha assistido e entendido bem rápido como as coisas funcionavam. O que ele podia fazer? Sua mãe sempre dizia que conhecimento era algo que ninguém podia tirar de você, e de fato, tinha sido algo difícil de esquecer. Talvez ele tivesse ficado entediado sem Nico por perto ou talvez quando ele se viu sozinho, sem ninguém para vigiá-lo... por que não? Sendo que Percy não precisava mais ser o cara bonzinho? 

O fato era, Percy tinha descoberto que ele fazia aquelas coisas sem precisar que ninguém o ensinasse. Pelo menos ali, aprendeu que o que ele fazia era errado se Percy não pedisse permissão antes.  

Um bom exemplo disso eram as palavras, pequenas sugestões que se repetidas poderiam se tornar em comportamentos condicionados, como quando você ensina seu cachorro a dar a patinha em troca de petiscos. Pessoas tinham as mesmas tendencias e vontades semelhantes, também. Algumas mais assertivas e outras, mais obedientes. Era um dinâmica normal, nada forçado, é claro, apenas modos de comportamentos onde cada um se sentia mais confortável para se expressar. E isso era só o começo, nem sequer era algo sexual ou romântico, apenas atitudes que a maioria das pessoas não reparavam. Sua psicóloga da época tinha sugerido algo parecido. Não que ele fosse atras desses tipos de clubes e sim que Percy analisasse por que ele se sentia tão codependente de Nico ou porque Percy se sentia tão frustrado. E como parecia estar relacionado a sexo, ele pensou... por que não? Sua mãe tinha apoiado a ideia e, seu irmão e Grover, amado mais ainda. Assim, como uma família unida, todos foram investigar o bar, incluindo sua mãe. 

O importante era que quando ele descobriu o que fazia com Nico já era tarde demais, Nico tinha ido embora e ele tinha ficado sozinho, com todas aquelas ideias e ninguém para testá-las. Percy não se orgulhava do que tinha feito, mas não se arrependia tão pouco. Sendo sincero? Ele não se importava com aquelas pessoas e se ele tivesse magoado algumas pelo caminho, não era da sua conta. Percy nunca prometeu nada a elas, cansando de avisar o que aconteceria no fim. 

Era por isso que Percy estava ali naquela manhã, um bar vinte e quatro horas que funcionava como lanchonete durante o dia. Fazia mais de um ano que Percy não entrava lá, mas como eles eram o lugar que ele mais confiava, teria que ser ali mesmo. 

Percy respirou fundo e entrou pelas portas de ferro negras, chegando a primeira área onde havia mesas e cadeiras de madeira que ao anoitecer seriam retiradas para dar lugar a pista de dança. Continuou andando mais ao fundo e encontrou o bar, um balcão longo junto a uma cozinha espaçosa, vendo os garçons pegarem pratos de comida para serem entregues. Ele só esperava que ningue-- 

— Percy, querido. Quanto tempo! 

— Vanessa. — Percy disse e se virou, vendo sua “professora” favorita. Ela era uma dominatrix atenciosa, bondosa e firme, algo que ele sempre quis ser e que nunca teve a paciência. Em comparação a ela, Percy era ansioso e um tanto cruel. Quem sabe um dia? 

— O que te trás aqui? Finalmente procurando companhia? Tenho um submisso que-- 

— Não dessa vez. — Percy disse e sorriu, negando educadamente. — Estou procurando Apolo. Será que ele está por aqui? 

— Ah, isso é tão bom. Quem é o garoto? 

— Alguém novo. 

— Hm, entendi. — Mas ela parecia o julgar como todos faziam. 

— Não tão novo. Ele é novo na cena. 

— Ah, tudo bem. — Vanessa voltou a sorrir e saiu de trás do balcão. — Eu sei exatamente o que você quer. 

Então, juntos, eles passaram por mais uma porta, subiram uma escada em caracol e chegaram no segundo piso, cheio de portas com quartos particulares, alguns com janelas que permitiam ver dentro dos quartos e no fim do corredor, uma porta grande de metal negro que eles também entraram. 

Realmente, aquela sala era o que Percy estava procurando. Ele sentia que se trouxesse Nico ali, o garotinho iria passar algumas horas perguntando para o que aquelas coisas penduradas na parede serviam. Também havia um balcão mais ao fundo do cômodo, onde um homem alto e loiro lia uma revista, usando um fone de ouvido. 

— Ei. — Percy disse assim que se aproximou.  

Apolo olhou para cima e no mesmo momento tirou o fone e se levantou, correndo em sua direção. Estava tudo bem, porque Percy estava preparado. Ele abriu os braços e deixou que Apolo o abraçasse o quanto quisesse, se esfregando nele. 

— Ah, olha o nosso pequeno dom. Tão crescido. Você tem malhado? Aposto que os garotinhos te perseguem. 

Não desde que Nico tinha voltado, mas esse era outro assunto. 

— Só um. Eu estava procurando algo específico. 

— Eu sei exatamente o que você precisa. 

— Eu não disse nada ainda. 

— E não precisa. 

Apolo sorriu todo esfuziante, pegou um cestinha de compras e começou a andar pelos corredores e prateleiras.  

— Deixa eu ver. Algo discreto para o dia. 

Apolo esticou a mão e pegou uma gargantilha, algo no estilo gótico. Uma tira de couro maleável e discreta com cristais pequenos a enfeitando. 

— Algo para brincar. 

Dessa vez Apolo pegou uma coleira rosa clara, pesada e com grandes furos, com uma plaquinha de identificação e um fecho para colocar uma guia se ele quisesse. 

— Algo para mantê-lo quietinho e comportado, sim? 

Finalmente Apolo pegou uma focinheira com uma bola no meio, uma venda de ceda e algemas macias. 

— Pronto. Isso deve bastar. 

— Eu não posso, isso é muita coisa. 

— É um presente para nosso dom júnior! 

— De verdade, eu não posso-- 

— Verdade! Está faltando uma coisa! 

— Apolo, não! 

— Sim. 

Antes que Percy pudesse impedi-lo, Apolo voltava com uma palmatoria. Sua superfície era toda em couro preto, feito de um material rígido, mas a ponta dela tinha um acolchoamento macio que traria dor sem deixar muitas marcas. 

— Apolo! 

— Vamos, é só dessa vez. Eu nunca vi você interessado em ninguém. Considere um presente de boa sorte. 

— Exatamente! Eu não posso aparecer com isso. Ele vai pensar que eu-- 

— Ele não está errado. 

Percy bufou e desistiu de discutir. Apolo era tão ridículo que isso tornava impossível contrariá-lo. 

— Além do mais... — Apolo continuou, embalando os itens em uma caixa bonita. — Já que você me rejeitou, o mínimo que você pode fazer é aceitar meu presente. 

— Quanto ficou? — Percy, para sua própria sanidade, decidiu ignorá-lo, e pegou a carteira. 

— Você não ouviu o que eu disse? É um presente. 

— Qual é! Isso vale pelo menos mil reais. 

— E daí? Eu sou rico. 

— Eu também sou. 

— Parece que estamos em um impasse. — Apolo fez uma careta de tristeza e balançou a cabeça. — Parece que o seu garoto vai ficar muito decepcionado, então. 

— Ele não sabe que eu estou aqui. 

— É uma surpresa? Eu não sabia que você era um romântico. — Dessa vez, não havia nenhuma ironia na voz de Apolo. — Estou me sentindo muito solteiro agora.  

Percy tinha esquecido como Apolo podia ser dramático. Ele era bonito, isso Percy não podia negar. Entretanto, beleza não era tudo na vida, mesmo que ajudasse muito. 

— Vanessa! Me arruma um dom agora mesmo! 

Percy se virou e lá estava Vanessa, os observando de longe como se assiste uma série de comedia. 

— Eu fiz, três vezes no último mês. 

— Você chama aquilo de dominação? Minha mãe é menos vanila do que aquilo. 

— Por favor, me poupe. — Vanessa cruzou os braços e revirou os olhos. 

— Custava me apresentar alguém alto, gostoso e com atitude? Será que é muito? 

Foi a vez de Percy revirar os olhos. Ele queria dizer que essa era a primeira vez que algo parecido acontecia. Ele jurava que não estava tentando se gabar, mas... de fato, Percy pensou que esses dias de D/s tinham ficado para trás. Mas ali estava ele, pedindo ajuda para essas pessoas. 

— Se comporte. — Percy se pegou falando, já irritado pela situação. O pior é que Apolo imediatamente endireitou a coluna. E ele teve que completar: — Não se atreva. 

Também não seria a primeira vez que Apolo se ajoelharia sem nem perceber. 

— Tão malvado. 

— Olha, eu agradeço a ajuda, mas eu tenho que-- 

— Está tudo bem? — Apolo perguntou, agora sério. — Você disse que nunca dominaria ninguém. É sobre o garoto que te fez sofrer? 

— Talvez. — Percy deu de ombros. — Não é culpa dele. 

— Tudo bem. Você precisa de ajuda? Talvez uma mediação? 

— Não. Eu consigo. — “Talvez”, ele queria ter dito. A verdade é que Percy não conseguia nem mesmo pensar em ter que dividir Nico com alguém ou deixar que outras pessoas assistissem. Percy não sabe se conseguiria se controlar. — Não precisa se preocupar. 

— Tem certeza? A gente podia dar uma ajuda pro pobre do garoto. Ele sabe no que se meteu? 

— Não precisa se preocupar. — Repetiu. 

O pior era que Percy não estava mentindo. Nico sabia muito mais do que ele gostaria. 

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Esse capitulo foi meio bobinho, não? Admito que exagerei um pouco. Eu não queria deixar as coisas muito pesadas. Foi bem divertido e é isso que importa, não? De qualquer forma, obrigada pelo apoio, sua presença é sempre bem-vinda!

Life of a Fanfiction Writer

Starting like:

Needing to write quickly before you forget:

Needing to remember all the small details:

Losing your train of thought:

When it’s going well:

Writing smut:

Not able to fill in the gaps from one scenario to the other:

Serious writers block:

Reading through finding you’ve gone wrong:

Finding all your spelling errors:

Finally Finished:

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME - PERCY/NICO AU HIGH SCHOOL - CHAPTER VII

Oii, how are you doing? This was supposed to be a shorter chapter, then I decided to do something special towards the end. I hope you like it! See the end notes for more information.^^

Previous chapters: CHAPTER I / CHAPTER II / CHAPTER III / CHAPTER IV / CHAPTER V / CHAPTER VI

"Pay attention!” Percy shouted and passed the ball to Chris Rodriguez, a tall boy with Hispanic traits. A great friend, but who was now getting on his nerves.

Okay, it wasn't Chris's fault. Percy wanted to end that practice soon and meet Nico who was waiting for him in the stands. Was he asking too much for time to go faster? Percy yelled again, this time watching Charles Beckendorf get distracted by his cheerleader girlfriend.

Damn, could anyone do anything right!?

"Dude, take it easy!" Grover came running up to him when Coach ended the practice earlier than usual. "Is your boy not taking care of you?"

Grover was right, Nico had taken good care of him. Percy had even relaxed after the act, but then he felt that anger rise to his head watching those people desire what was his. When Nico was lonely and helpless, nobody did anything, choosing to isolate him, but now that Nico had grown up and stood tall with those broad shoulders and intense black eyes, carrying his guitar around the corners, it was nearly impossible not to be enchanted by when he sang. It drove Percy mad, bringing out his worst side.

Percy admitted, he was going crazy, slow and steady, fighting anyone who tried to get close. That had to be the only reason Percy wanted people to stay away from Nico. It's just, it wasn't that different from before. Not that he tried to hide it, Percy purposely pushed people away and he knew it. Nico knew that too. Even the janitor knew. He wanted to feel bad for acting this way, impulsive and…so wrong. He thought that this Percy had stayed in the past and that he'd died with Nico's going away. God, he here he was, thinking he was such a grown-up now just because he didn't act that like that in such a long time. That is, until Nico came back and showed him that he was still the same insecure, jealous little boy.

“Per-cy! Earth to Percy. Anybody home?” Grover said and waved his hand in front of Percy’s face, seeing that now a group of boys had formed around them.

It was normal, after all he was the captain. This would be the moment when they usually had conversations about possible changes in the game strategy. Today was not one of those days, today he hadn't paid attention to anything, ball passes, the position of the players on the pitch or how many baskets were made.

"Sorry guys. You are dismissed.”

"Jackson, come on! Just tell us.” Luke said, walking up to him carefree and careless.

Percy took a deep breath and tried to focus.

"Tell you what?”

"You're not going to freak out again, are you?" Someone else spoke, though they all sounded the same to him.

"Who agrees with the sub-captain taking care of the team?" “Of course Luke said that since he was the sub-captain.

“Do what you want.”

Nothing mattered more than Nico. Calmly, he took the captain's armband off his arm and tossed it to whoever was closest, turning his back on them.

“I want to see how long you last.”

"Percy, come back here! I was kidding! Since when do you listen to what I say?”

But he didn't come back, he kept marching towards the exit, remembering to get his things near the locker room and only stopped when he found Nico at the bottom of the bleachers, oblivious to what was happening around him. Nico was sitting on the grass, his back against the foot of the bleacher structure, strumming his guitar and muttering something low in the most velvety, sweetest voice he had ever heard. Nico stopped playing and then turned towards the notebook in front of him to jot something down, all the while people’s around him watched in awe.

You know, nobody used to watch practice other than the cheerleaders, but here in the late afternoon sun and with the birds chirping, Nico had never looked so beautiful; head down and posture relaxed, giving him the impression that more and more the audience would multiply if this kept happening. Then… then that rage came rushing back and it was so sudden that he stopped before Nico could even notice him, Percy didn't want Nico to see that part of him.

He took a deep breath for long moments and only when he was sure he could control himself did he walk the rest of the way, stopping in front of Nico.

"Are you ready?” Percy asked Nico.

“Hm.” Nico nodded, lifting his hand from the guitar and stretching back. "Don't you have anything more to do? It's still three pm.”

"No, today I'm all yours."

That's when Nico lifted his head, looked at him through his lashes and smiled at him, all sweet and shy, taking him back to simpler times.

"Let's go, then?” He almost forgot about the people around, muttering farther away from them. It was enough for Nico to nod again while putting his things away and to finally hold Percy’s hands while they disappeared from sight of those insignificant people, who kept mumbling like noisy little insects.

He took Nico's backpack, helping him, while Nico took the guitar in the hand that wasn't occupied by his.

"New music?”

“The band practice will perform at the ball.”

"Are They?” Percy could already imagine how many fans Nico would get that night.

"Why didn't you tell me? I have never been to one.

“I wasn't planning on going.” Not since Nico got back, but now that Nico's mentioned the ball… "Do you want to go with me?"

“Mister Jackson! Are you asking me out? It’s a date?”

"Only if you want to be.”

Percy couldn't contain himself, Nico was laughing and joking with so much joy that it warmed his heart to the point that he had to stop halfway and kiss Nico until they were both breathless; on the lips, cheekbones, jaw and neck. He only stopped when Nico laughed so hard that tears welled up in his beautiful dark eyes.

"Then, it's a deal. Let's date.”

"You Moron.” Nico sighed, staring at him closely, and another impulse took him. Percy wiped the tears of laughter that still fell from Nico’s face and kissed him one more time, just to express how much he loved him.

"I'm serious. I'll even wear a suit. What do you think?”

"I think you're going to look real nice."

"I thought I already was.” Nico smiled again and Percy didn't even try to control himself this time. He hugged Nico around the waist and kissed him like last night, as if no one was watching, and only stopped when Nico moaned, high in the back of his throat, and pushed him away, shoving him without force by the chest.

“Per.” Nico whimpered, blinking slowly, almost moaning in frustration, but so softly Percy wanted to slam him against the wall and solve their problem right then and there. It would show who Nico belonged to.

What? No! He was not that person. He, no…

“Per?” He felt soft fingers against his face and blinked, trying to get those thoughts out of his head. Nico looked worried with a slight crease between his eyebrows. "Everyting’s fine?”

“Sure, it’s fine.”

Nico was right to run away from him. In the end, the danger wasn't in other people but in him, a sick and possessive little boy.

"Do you want something to eat? It's getting late.”

Percy just nodded, being pulled by Nico towards his car. He could feel the concern emanate from Nico, it was the way he spoke all softly and carefully, the affectionate touches on his arm or shoulder as if trying to comfort a little boy who had fallen and hurt his leg. And even knowing all this, Percy still didn't feel guilty. He wanted to. And no metter how many times he told himself exactly that, he understood perfectly well what he was doing; he let Nico comfort him, absorbing the attention Nico gave him like a sponge in the desert and it felt wonderfully good.

In the end, they ended up going back to that same restaurant Nico had loved so much, ordering another bottle of wine and all the pasta Nico could eat. Percy knew he should at least call his mother, knowing that at this point she should be worried about his absence, but Percy soon forgot about that. Content, he watched Nico eat heartily and drink more than half of the bottle of wine as if it were water, much less drunk than the last time. Percy didn't mind, because in reality he was exactly where he wanted to be, with Nico smiling at him and paying attention only to him.

***

Immediately, Nico knew something was wrong. Or rather, that they were falling into the same vices as before. To tell the truth, it was hard to worry about these things. Was a lot, especially when Percy was so close and smelled so good, those strong arms around him and the kisses that made him shiver. But he needed…needed…

"Beautiful.” Percy murmured against his lips, pulling him closer until there was no distance left between their bodies. They were still in the restaurant and that was not a proper attitude to have in a public place.

“Per. Stop it.”

“Hm? I don't-- I'm sorry.”

“We need to talk.”

That finally made Percy stop. Nico saw Percy take a deep breath and look at him very seriously. That made it even worse, the expression on Percy's face made him want to spread his legs and obey whatever Percy told him to do, and he knew exactly what Percy would order if they got carried away.

“We don't need to talk.” Percy said when he didn't say anything.

"We don’t?”

"I know everything. It is my behavior.”

"If you know…”

“I can't control myself.”

Hm… that was an evolution. He nodded and smiled, proud of Percy.

“I know it's not right.”

"And what else?”

“I'll try to do better.”

Nico let the air out and relaxed against the restaurant seat.

“Look, I don't really care.”

"No?” Now Percy looked genuinely confused.

“I know who you are and why you do these things. Maybe I'm to blame...”

"So what's the problem?”

“It affects your relationship with people. You're the captain and you're going to be the valedictorian. I don't want this… our relationship to destroy what you've worked for.”

“Nico." That's when he saw Percy widen his eyes and stare at him with a lost look.

“You know I didn't leave because of you, don't you?”

" I thought…”

“Per, you're not the problem, not even your habit of isolating us from others bothers me.”

"I am horrible person.”

"Me too. I… I encouraged you. When someone showed interest in you, I… I'm not proud of what I've done.”

"What did you do?” And where he thought he would see judgment, Percy showed him pure curiosity.

"Do you remember Rachel and the Stroll brothers? I do not want to talk about this. The problem here is that I… I didn't want sex and I didn't know how to say it to you, so I… I ran away and now… everything is worse!”

"Don’t say that. I promise that--"

“No, you don't understand! I missed you every day. I never want to go through that again. I… I… you will never get rid of me again! Are you listening to me! Never!” To prove his point, he pulled Percy by the jacket and kissed him, practically chattering their teeth.

"Baby.”

“No, that's not it. I mean, now you have no reason to let me screw things up.”

“Nico.” Percy said it so quietly and softly that he had to stop for a moment. “You're the best thing in my life. I love you, it's my fault you think that way.”

"It's not your fault. And I... I love you too.”

There, Nico had said what he needed to say. For some reason there was a tightness in his heart, a pressure in his chest that only Percy's touch could ease. He could barely think rationally, because none of it was rational. Not that possessiveness they both felt or that need to be close to each other. It couldn't be healthy. Or normal. How could other people live without feeling as loved and wanted as he did when he looked at Percy?

"Everything’s fine.” Percy said, beaming at him. “You belong to me and I belong to you. It may not be common, but why resist it?”

"Is it really fine?”

“Yeah, I promise. I'll do everything to make sure things work out this time. Do you trust me?”

"I do." How could he not trust when his body and soul soared with the simple touch of fingers against the back of his neck and wet lips against his?

“You don't have to worry, everything's under control.”

And Nico believed that.

With a relieved sigh, Nico allowed himself to be held and comforted. He would trust Percy to take care of everything, just like he always had.

***

Bonus Scene: I thought this chapter was too short, so I decided to bring a scene from the past. A short gift for you.

"Thank you for coming.” Percy Jackson opened the door and let her in.

Clarisse was immediately taken back, they weren't the best of friends and never would be. She couldn't explain it, Percy usually had an aura of someone who would step on anyone to get what he wanted… or rather, Percy was one of the most intimidating people she had ever met. Clarisse knew Percy used his height and strength to stand out, but it was more than that. Sincerely? She never thought she'd be invited to attend the ‘popular parties”, much less by the skinny, nerdy little boy who sat every class next to the psychopathic basketball captain. What embarrassed her the most was how overnight Percy's attitude had changed, from the bully to the politely respectful.

That’s why at this moment Clarisse was standing in front of Percy Jackson's door, hesitating to take the next step inside. You never knew what might be inside a psychopath's house. But finally, when it looked like none of them would give up, Percy held out his hand. However, he only took the platter of sandwiches and snacks from her hands when she offered it to him first.

“That's a lot.” he said, obviously trying hard to sound friendly.

"It’s nothing.” Actually, It wasn't, they had ordered it the day before. Maybe her mother overreacted.

The truth is, she wasn't sure what to bring. All Nico had said was for her to bring something and show up by noon. Usually she would stay well away from those kinds of people, but Annabeth had asked her to spy, so here she was, trying to be civil to the wildest person she'd ever met.

"Come in.” Was all he said before Percy turned and walked down the long hallway into the house.

She followed, surprised by the size of the living room. There was a large buffet table where Percy had set out the snacks, long comfy sofas, beanbags, a movie screen, and so much food she thought was impossible to eat, not to mention the tasteful furniture, the pastel decor, and a wonderful view of a well-tended garden and an Olympic sized swimming pool.

“Make yourself comfortable.” Without waiting, Percy disappeared up the stairs and into another hallway.

“He's just like that. You get used to it.”

Distracted, Clarisse jumped up scared to death, and looked toward the couch. It was Grover! Finally someone decent in this place.

"What's going on here? Where are the people at this party?”

"Party? It's more like a pajama night.”

"Pajama night?"

“Percy and Nico don't like making a fuss.”

“Hm?” She didn't understand anything.

“We get together to eat something and watch a movie. Sometimes to play something.”

"Is that what you rich people do?"

"No, but Percy and Nico like it that way."

"'Percy and Nico'?"

Are they an entity by any chance? A unique being?

That made Grover laugh. Sitting on the sofa, the boy held his stomach and threw his head back.

"You're more right than you think! I like you, I think you'll fit in very well with us.”

“Us? Who exactly? I'm not seeing anyone.”

"Guys, we've got company!" Grover put a hand over his mouth and yelled, creating an echo through the room. Miraculously, people began to come from all directions, down the stairs, and from every hallway or closed door.

“Clarisse, it's good to see you. How's the fencing going?

Silena was the first to approach. She had been his partner for years before she had to focus on school and cheerleading. Beckendorf was behind her, all serious and quiet. What Clarisse didn't expect to find was Luke and Thalia, Leo too. Not that it was surprising, they were all popular in their own way. She just didn't understand why Annabeth wasn't among them; she looked like someone who would fit right in.

"What brings you to our humble place?" Luke asked charmingly, strutting over to sit beside her. "I never thought I'd see you here."

“Nico invited me, so I came.” She shrugged. Maybe she was just curious to know how these people lived.

"Don't worry, soon you’ll be bored. You will see.”

As if on cue, Percy and Nico walked down the stairs, hand in hand and saying something so low that it would be impossible to hear from that distance. However, as soon as Nico saw her presence, he came to her and hugged her tight, saying, “I'm glad you came. Are you hungry?

"Maybe later.”

"Right." Nico smiled at her, holding her hands quickly and got up going towards Percy who had been watching everything with his arms crossed and with the most threatening expression she had ever seen. That is, all of that happened before Nico turned back to Percy, because in the next instant, Percy smiled, showing white teeth and pretty dimples, with so much love in his eyes and offering only kindness and happiness to Nico, that Clarisse thought Percy was two different people.

She had been there for five minutes and already thought it was social suicide to try to do anything to disrupt what was going on between the boys. And with each passing moment, he was more surprised. He saw in slow motion Percy receive Nico in his arms and squeeze him very hard and then kiss Nico's forehead, while Nico just smiled contentedly, practically swallowed by Percy's body. She had never seen such a brotherly gesture turn so sexual and possessive in mere seconds.

"This is normal? Nico need’s help?” she whispered to Grover and Luke who were beside her.

"Do you think he does?"

It was a good question. Almost disappearing behind Percy, he saw Nico drag Percy into the middle of the room and sit between the puffs, in front of a coffee table. Soon someone brought some plates of food close to them and everyone started to eat, even if the plates were closest to Nico. That is, almost everyone started to eat, Percy just watched the events unfold, seeming to survey what was happening around him with a satisfied look watching Nico eat with enthusiasm.

“Want more?” Percy asked Nico. And without waiting for an answer, he returned with a tray full of mini pizzas. “Your favorite.”

“Thank you, Per.” Nico smiled sweetly and his voice sounded even more loving, oozing honey, sugar and everything good in the world.

"I think I'm going to be sick."

Clarisse agreed with Luke, half mesmerized watching that domestic scene. Thankfully it was broken when Percy looked at them with a cynical smirk, saying:

“The bathroom is in the second door on the right.” However, Percy soon said, remembering to be a host, “Why don’t you get a plate. I don't want to have to throw food away.”

And since he said it so sweetly, why not?

Clarisse was the first to get up and go to the buffet table. She started with a piece of lemon cake and a glass of apple juice. She sat down next to Nico and this time, it didn't look like Percy was going to glare at him. Percy honestly seemed content to sit next to Nico and watch him eat with an enamored look on his face.

By the end of the night, watching the second movie and seeing Nico sleeping on Percy's shoulder in the greatest display of love she had ever seen, Clarisse came to a clear conclusion. She felt sorry for Annabeth and anyone who tried to stand in the way of Percy Jackson and his sweet, kind companion whose only innocent feature was his smile.

***

"Why so much food?" It was the big question of the night.

Clarisse noticed that as soon as one plate was emptied, another took its place, one tastier than the last. All she knew was that she couldn't take it anymore, and that she couldn't stop eating either.

“Percy's family owns a restaurant.”

"I know that. Everyone knows.”

“Consider us a group of testers." Nico told her, eating a candy that Clarisse didn't know what it was. “If we like it, it stays on the menu. If not, go under review.”

"The question is. Who did all this?”

“Me and Sally, Percy’s mom.” Nico shrugged and smiled when he saw Clarisse's reaction.

"You can cook?”

"Since a was little.”

“Aren't you rich?" When Nico looked at her, all confused, Clarisse added: “I mean, you don't have people for this?”

“I cook when I'm nervous or anxious. Or happy, too.”

"Seriously?”

“For us, food is a gesture of love.”

But Nico didn't say that looking at her, no. Nico had his hands in his lap and his face was flushed, watching Percy chat with a group of boys by the porch as they continued to talk by the coffee table.

 "A gesture of love?"

“I know Percy seems rude sometimes. It's just that he has a hard time trusting people.”

"And you?”

"I trust him.

"That’s pretty clear.”

“You know… we take care of our friends…”

"What does that mean?”

Nico smiled at her again, his black eyes twinkling as he took another bite of the candy. Soon Clarisse understood what was happening, Percy was walking towards them, all proud of himself. At first Clarisse didn't understand anything, and only realized the trap when a smaller boy appeared behind Percy. It was Chris, the boy she had seen in the halls and never had the courage to talk to him.

It was even funny. Percy pulled Chris forward and shoved the boy until he was in front of her, his face flushed with embarrassment.

“Clarisse, I want to introduce you to Chris Rodriguez.”

"We've seen each other around."

“That's great, isn't it?” Percy winked at her and guided Nico by the arm so quickly away that when she saw, she and Chris were alone. And since they were there… why not? She smiled at Chris, thinking that deep down Percy Jackson wasn't all that bad alter all.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, what did you think? I know the last scenes should be shorter, but I can't control myself. I also didn't want to do flashbacks, however they are so interesting that I will do some more. They will be a bit messy, nothing that will hinder the understanding of the story, but I will definitely have to revise their order within the chapters later.

I hope it was a good read. Suggestions and constructive comments are always welcome! I love to see your reation^^

Oh, I forgot to warn you, I hope that +18 scenes aren't too weird and that maybe the word count will exceed 50 thousand words, I'll try to control myself, but you know me. Wish me luck.

We will continue to post once a week.

Thanks for reading!

This was meant for Nico’s bd (i did this months ago w my old art style 😭

Diario de Escrita (Wrinting Diary) #1

Oii, como vai? Hoje não tem capítulo novo, mas não quer dizer que eu não produzi. Vocês sabem que eu tenhho um projeto sobre ajuda para escritores, certo? Eu decidi recomeça-lo atravez de assinaturas pelo Patreon e alguns posts gratuítos aqui no tumblr também. E foi isso que me fez escrever bastante essa semana. O tema foi Premissa e Tema, conceitos essenciais para se escrever um livro. Enquanto eu preparava o post e organizava as ideias, me peguei analisando qual era a minha motivação para escrever, percebendo que eu tinha deixado isso de lado. O que me fez lembrar porque eu ainda estou aqui depois de mais de dez anos, ainda escrevendo e criando novas histórias.

A verdade é que eu sou muito... bem, é dificil para mim entrar em contato com minhas emoções e tem certas experiencias que eu não estou disposta a ter na vida real, além de querer investigar a mente humana. Como uma pessoa aromantica e assexual, escrita é meu refugio e minha terapia. Eu escrevo sobre coisas que nunca vou viver, sobre coisas que eu vi em outros lugares, coisas que eu sinto e coisas que eu gostaria de viver, mas que por causa da minha dificuldade social sei que nunca vou chegar lá.

Esse é o motivo desse post, para discutir e armanezar esses meus pensamento, principalmente sobre escrita, para divulgar sobre o que eu dedico meu tempo e para contar um pouco mais sobre mim, para também me fazer lembrar porque eu ainda insisto na escrita e porque eu provavelmente nunca vou desistir. E claro, eu gostaria de convidar vocês a participar do meu Patreon, onde nessa proxima semana vou começar a apresentar informações de como escrever livros narrativos. Espero ver vocês por lá (se você sabe ler em português).

Hi, what's going on? Today I don't have a new chapter, but that doesn't mean I didn't write anything. You know that I have a project about helping writers, right? I decided to restart it through Patreon subscriptions and some free posts here on tumblr as well. And that's what got me writing a lot this week. The theme was Premise and Theme, essential concepts for writing a book. While I was preparing the post and organizing my ideas, I found myself analyzing what my motivation for writing was, realizing that I had put it aside. Which reminded me why I'm still here after more than ten years, still writing and creating new stories.

The truth is that I'm very… well, it's hard for me to get in touch with my emotions and there are certain experiences I'm not willing to have in real life, apart from wanting to investigate the human mind. As an aromantic and asexual person, writing is my refuge and my therapy. I write about things I'll never experience, things I've seen elsewhere, things I feel and things I'd like to experience, but because of my social difficulties I know I'll never get there.

That's the reason for this post, to discuss and organize my thoughts, mostly about writing, to share what I dedicate my time to and to tell you a little more about myself, to also remind me why I still insist on writing and why I'll probably never give up. And of course, I'd like to invite you to join my Patreon, where next week I'll start presenting information on how to write narrative books. I hope to see you there (if you can read Portuguese).

Patreon

Boas-vindas | Escritor em Aprendizado

Get more from Escritor em Aprendizado on Patreon

Newsletter Janeiro (January)

Oi, como vai? Faz tempo que a gente não conversa, então, resolvi fazer uma newsletter mensal para manter todo mundo informado do que acontece por aqui, assim, se você perder algum post importante estará aqui.

Bem... essa semana deveria ter episodio novo na "Sitter's love", mas fiquei doente. Até parece uma desculpa esfarrapada, eu sei, mas pelo menos vim dar sinal de vida. O projeto de ajuda para escritores também deveria estar acontecendo, e pelo mesmo motivo, ela está meio parada. Também sinto que eu devia mudar o formato do projeto, quando comecei a escrever sobre escrita criativa o objetivo era para ser aulas curtas e direto ao ponto, algo que eu sei, não funciona muito bem por aqui. Então, acho que vou apagar o post anterior e tentar adequar o conteúdo para algo mais amigável e menos agressivo. Ainda essa semana vou tentar postar um capítulo da "Sitter's love", talvez ainda hoje.

Aqui segue os posts do mês!

Hi, how are you? It's been a while since we last talked, so I decided to do a monthly newsletter to keep everyone informed of what's going on around here, so that if you miss any important posts they'll be here.

Well… this week there was supposed to be a new episode of “Sitter's love”, but I got sick. It sounds like a lame excuse, I know, but at least I'm here to give a sign of life. The writers' aid project in portuguese was also supposed to be happening, and for the same reason, it's at a bit of a standstill. I also feel that I should change the format of the project, when I started writing about creative writing it was meant to be short and to the point lessons, something that I know doesn't work very well around here. So I think I'll delete the previous post and try to adapt the content to something more friendly and less aggressive. Later this week I'll try to post a chapter of “Sitter's love”, maybe even today.

Here are the posts of the month!

Sitter's love

Chapter III, Chapter IV, Chapter V

Chapter VI e Chapter VII

Chapter VIII e Chapter IX

Chapter XIV

Chapter XV

Se você quiser ver os outros capítulos, clique aqui

If you want to see the other chapters, click here

Amor de Babá

Capítulo III, Capítulo IV, Capítulo V, Capítulo VI, Capítulo VII

There's no place like home

Chapter XXVIII, Chapter XXIX, Chapter XXX

ShortStories - Histórias curtas!

ShortStory #2 – Eu sei que você quer (traição+blowjob+babá)

ShortStory #3 – Recém Casados (fingering+orgasm denial+chastity)

ShortStories - #1, #2 and #3 (In English)

Ajuda para escritores - O post que eu provavelmente vou apagar, mas se você quiser ver, está aqui

The post that I'll probably delete, but if you want to see it, is here

Escrevendo História - Prompts Criativos! Aqui

SITTER'S LOVE - Nico!Babysitter, Percy!Teacher-father - Chapter VIII e Chapter IX

Hi, how are you? Yes, I'm back. I know you're getting tired of me, but as I had a few chapters ready I decided to share them with you in advance. We'll probably have new chapters on Wednesday, because I'm trying to finish the new chapter of “There's nothing like home” (although it's going to take me a while to post it here, I still need to finish writing and revising it), but it'll come.

Anyway, I hope you will enjoy today's chapter. And if you can give feedback on the story, I'd love to hear from you, really, without judgment. This story isn't complete yet, so any suggestions or notes would be very beneficial.

Previous chapters: CHAPTER I / CHAPTER II / / CHAPTER III, CHAPTER IV e CHAPTER V / Chapter VI e Chapter VII

Chapter VIII

Nico opened his eyes and sat up on the blankets, realizing that he wasn't in his single bed. There were no windows facing a huge tree, his computer wasn't in the corner of the room, and there weren't any loud voices reverberating through the house early in the morning. No, no way, that wasn't his room. Well, this one, painted in soft shades of gray and with a double-sized bed, wasn't his, and much less this calm that made him feel so peaceful and calm.

He… what had he done…? It was so confusing…

Oh! Now he remembered. Percy and his soft voice. A bowl of soup and another question that finally made sense. Yes, last night he had waited for Percy and fallen asleep without wanting to, even though Nico had sworn he would wait for the children to fall asleep so he could leave. Instead, he had a serious conversation with the man who didn't seem to take anything seriously, but who in fact hid his seriousness behind very well-disguised smiles.

Like, he knew that now. However, that hadn't been the case the day before when he'd followed Percy up the stairs and into the empty guest room. He barely remembered getting into the shower, that had been another thing he hadn't expected of himself. He felt like he should have done more than nod and obey. 

In the end, Nico couldn't help it, Percy had spoken to him so gently and affectionately that Nico found himself nodding. Vaguely, he remembered taking off his clothes once inside the suite Percy had shown him to, stepping into the bathroom and a while later hearing two soft knocks on the door. After that, Nico didn't know how the rest of the night had gone. He knew that at some point Percy had... gods! Was that right? He'd shown up naked and wet in front of his boss? While the man was handing him clean clothes? Nico couldn't even remember their reactions. It was all so hazy it was like Nico had been drinking himself into a stupor.

Thinking about it, it was better that he didn't remember any of it. Nico wasn't sure if it had really happened or if it had been a dream, especially the part where Percy looked at him from head to toe like he was going to attack at any moment, but since he didn't feel anything unusual, no pain or marks, then... then if he ignored what might or might not have happened, it was as if nothing had happened, right? So, wearing the same clothes he had slept in, he walked down the hallway and down the stairs, going straight to the kitchen where he found something strange and sweetly domestic; Percy Jackson wore a red apron and dark colored sweatpants as he walked barefoot across the cold kitchen floor,  plating four dishes. Bacon, eggs, and sausages. There was coffee and juice on the table. Jam, bread, croissants, and cake. A small improvised feast.

"I thought you didn't know how to cook.”

Nico didn't know why he had said that. Maybe it was because it all seemed like a dream, where he had a happy family that welcomed him on a nice, sunny Saturday morning and a... husband...? Wow... Nico was starting to think his fantasies were a little rushed. Or maybe his brain wasn't ready to wake up so early on a Saturday, much less was it prepared for this happy scene. Usually his family didn't eat together; his father was the first to wake up, getting up early, and his mother prepared the food. As people woke up, each one served themselves and went about their day without talking to anyone else. So, this... this wasn't at all what he expected.

"That's nothing! Everyone knows how to make an egg." Percy said excitedly, almost humming as he finished putting the sausages on everyone's plates. "Come on, sit with us.”

“I shouldn’t,” he muttered. Nico really shouldn’t. Percy made him feel like he was part of the family, and that was dangerous. Most of the time, Nico barely felt like he was part of his own family.

"Come on, I insist." Percy looked at him with that bright smile and he felt uncomfortable, for some reason it made a lump appear in his throat.

Nico lowered his head and thought about running upstairs, still remembering the night before, when he heard a chair scrape across the kitchen floor and a small hand touch his. To his surprise, he found Alice smiling as much or more than Percy himself, gently pulling him by the hand, guiding him to the chair next to where Percy sat. She didn't say anything else, just went back to her own place and continued eating calmly, the two children and the adult man acting like this was something normal to them.

"Did I miss something?" Nico muttered once more. He picked up the cup of coffee that was in front of his plate and almost groaned, now ready to wake up. It was the best coffee he had ever tasted.

"Dad's postdoc was accepted! And Mom is coming home today. We have to celebrate!”

"Yes, yes! Mom promised we would go out today! Everyone together!" Logan finished for his sister, almost jumping in the high chair.

Nico smiled at them, still with the cup against his lips, and looked at Percy, tempted to ask what had happened last night, noticing how his smile had diminished a fraction. The children might not have noticed, but he had seen several of his smiles and could see it clearly. Which was pretty crazy, he had known him for less than forty hours and already knew what those smiles meant? Nico must have been very tired, delirious, due to this mountain of emotions that this strangely affectionate and at the same time, fragmented family, made him feel. Yeah, it must have all been his imagination.

“That's very good." He said after a while, when he realized they were waiting for an answer. "I'll finally be able to meet her.”

"That you will." It was Percy's turn to mutter darkly.

“Should I worry?" He said it unintentionally, just as a joke, and of course, even the children understood it because they let out little giggles between bites of scrambled eggs.

"You're damn right." Nico heard that and turned to Percy trying to figure out if he was serious. And when he found out that was the case, well… Percy distracted him as always. His clear eyes, his mouth curved in a smile and his handsome face made him forget what he had asked.

The good thing about all this is that Percy had shrugged, as if he didn't have any problems in the world, and said:

"Don't worry, dear. I'll protect you." Right after he winked at him.

And as always, even though he felt himself blushing, Nico pretended that nothing had happened. He drank the rest of the coffee in his cup while the children laughed happily. Now, whether they laughed with him or at him was another question.

Chapter IX

“No, seriously now,” Percy told him, his tone changing to something more neutral. “Annabeth can be a little demanding. Don’t take anything she says seriously, and don’t do anything she asks.”

"Um… okay? I guess?" He said, shrugging.

Nico had already realized how things worked around here. The children were happy with every bit of attention, Annabeth Chase was the absent wife and Percy was the provider of the house, something quite simple in his opinion. So, he didn't see any reason for so much drama.

He looked at the plate seeing that two pieces of toast had magically appeared on it and looked back at Percy.

"I guess I'll go then.”

“You usually eat more in the morning,” Percy said, ignoring him, and pushed the plate closer to Nico.

"Me? No, I don't.”

"But you could. And what are you running from? She doesn't bite. At most Annabeth might say a few not-so-kind words.”

“Really, I've been away from home for too long. I need to--”

“Nonsense.”

Percy didn't understand. He felt something strange... something that was going up his back and stopping halfway down his throat, something that hadn't happened in months. Nico needed to get up and move, needed to bring back any sense of normalcy he could find, because staying here, in that friendly and calm environment, was far from what Nico was used to. He had to--

Nico dragged his chair back, unable to hold it any longer, and Percy stood up with him, holding him loosely by the arm, nothing that really held him in place, but for some reason that gentle gesture made him gasp, made him even more anxious, impatient, as though his skin wanted to escape from his body along with his lungs. He tried to do what his psychiatrist suggested and stopped in the middle of the next movement, in the exact place where Percy was holding him, less than a step away from the chair where he had previously sat; did he want to escape? Yes, but curiosity won, keeping him trapped in that kitchen to find out what Percy's next motive would be.

Percy handed him the container with the food from the day before and Nico held it in his hands, feeling a little confused. That is, until he saw that on top of it there was a note and a hundred dollar bill. He turned the jar in his hand and read the message that said: “Thanks for the food” only to turn to Percy and for the first time look him straight in the eye, without hesitation. Percy made him feel guilty. Vulnerable. Important. It was like Nico was cheating on the boyfriend who should have been waiting for him all night. And he didn't even have the guts to tell him; he hadn't even remembered during all this time that Will could have been worried. His mother too. And his sisters?

"What is this?" Nico asked even though he didn't care, feeling a little out of it. Airy. Light.

"What do you think it is?”

"I can't accept it.”

“You will. I don’t accept refunds.” Percy smiled at him. Percy… Percy was actually smiling again. A smile so beautiful that this time Nico knew he was being teased or mocked. No, Percy Jackson was flirting with him.

"W-what?”

"You bought us food and then made more food. It's the least I can do to repay you.”

"Sir, I can't--”

Nico shook his head. It was all wrong. Everything!

“Actually, where did you buy that food? It must have been expensive.”

That was when Nico closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He counted to five very slowly and opened them again, just like the doctor had taught him. Maybe he shouldn't have stopped taking his medication. And as discreetly as he could, he moved his hands that were starting to shake and crossed them behind his back so they wouldn't notice. If he could just leave, maybe everything would be okay. Nico hated this. Why was he so nervous if Percy was just asking about the restaurant? It was no big deal. So what if the man wanted to give him money? These situations shouldn't do this to Nico. If he remembered that he was in control, everything would be okay. That's it. He was in control. He--

"Nico? Are you okay?" He felt Percy's hands on his shoulders and let out a breath, not even realizing he had stopped breathing.

"I'm sorry. I have to go.”

"You're not even going to tell me where you bought the food?”

"I… went… went to a restaurant… that sells homemade lunch boxes… in the city center.”

"Do you need a ride?”

He waved, accepting the ride, but didn't move; Nico wasn't even breathing, trying to act normal. He felt paralyzed, as if someone had chained him up and thrown him into the depths of the sea. He felt himself getting heavy and his vision was starting to get blurry, preventing him from seeing anything in front of him. He... he...

"Nico, pay attention to me. Can you hear me? Breathe with me.”

He took a deep breath and let it out, this time feeling the weight in his chest ease.

“Again.”

Nico took another deep breath and then his head fell forward, so light and empty that he found himself collapsing, feeling so good that the world finally made sense again. However, he didn't end up on the floor or face down on the table as he expected, no, now that things were back to normal he noticed that something firm and stable was holding him upright, giving him exactly what he needed. It was... it was Percy's chest breathing next to his, guiding his breathing, it was his head resting on the man's shoulder and it was the large hands that caressed his back over his shirt. Nico couldn't deny it, he felt warm once again, like a breath of air that brought heat, allowing his blood to warm up again and circulate through his body.

“Daddy, is he going to be okay?” Nico heard Logan ask, his childish voice sounding scared.

"Shhh… don’t worry.”

Now, who Percy was saying this to, he didn't know. The good news was that Nico didn't feel uncomfortable around them and that, in fact, their voices full of affection and care were like a balm to his lonely soul.

***

“Do you feel better?” Percy asked in a low, hoarse whisper.

They were still standing. Percy's arms were wrapped around his waist and Nico felt the world slowly spin as he leaned against his boss's broad shoulders, his head resting against his neck, and even from this awkward angle Nico could feel Percy's worry radiating around them.

Nico couldn't help but notice, Percy was looking at him very closely and touching his face so carefully, his features so worried, that Nico just let himself be carried away by the feeling that warmed his chest and allowed him to breathe a little easier. He watched as Percy kept trying to make him react, calling his name and touching his neck, keeping him safe in his arms. It was then that Percy finally made a decision, and only when Percy was sure that Nico wouldn't faint, he picked him up and didn't wait any longer; the man held his legs, lifting them off the floor and then supported his back so that he wouldn't slip away from his arms. 

In this way, they moved through the house, Nico seeing the white marble floor and the stairs behind him, and Percy going with him through a long hallway. They passed the windows that let the midday sun enter the hallway and then into the room that Percy was carrying him into.

The world spun for a moment, the sun softening as they entered the room, allowing Nico to close his eyes and the sway of Percy's footsteps to lull him gently. Then Percy lowered himself and sat with him on the bed, making him lean against a soft surface and sigh, feeling Percy support him against his broad chest.

“Hm,” Nico remembered muttering back. He always felt a little spacey and high the moment the seizures went away, but in the best way possible. He owed him an explanation, right? Yeah, he did.

"Do you need anything? Water? Pain medicine?”

Nico could barely hear Percy's voice, the low, whispered timbre always distracted him. Percy used such a soft, gentle tone that it seemed to caress his soul, so husky and velvety, so softly at the foot of his ear that if they weren't so close to each other, Nico wouldn't hear anything. And his eyes, they were so beautiful, all intense and fixed on him. Hmm... yes, Percy was still holding him and he had his arms around the man's neck. Should Nico do that? Hmm... he didn't know, he just understood that his chest was resting against his shoulder and that Percy's hands were holding his head, keeping him comfortable.

He blinked slowly and stared into Percy's now serious eyes. So steady. They gave him so much confidence that Nico knew he was safe. Ah, maybe he shouldn't be so comfortable, at times like these his body kind of... acted without his consent.

"I… I'm fine. I'm sorry. I… I have--

“You don’t need to explain yourself,” Percy told him, as serious as ever, looking uninterested. Or maybe Percy was just shocked. It was understandable.

“I do.” When Percy just nodded, he continued, “When I was eight, I had a panic attack and was diagnosed with GAD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I’m always anxious, but I can usually control it without it interfering with my work. It’s been years since that happened. I… I’m so sorry. Routine and feeling stable helps. I’m really sorry. I know I should have told you.”

"It's okay. It wasn't your fault.”

"No, it’s not that. I recently came off the meds. The doctor told me I would be able to control it. It’s just that…”

"What is it?" Percy told him softly.

“I've been more nervous than usual. It's just... well... the change in routine…”

He said it was a change of routine, but they both knew it was more than that.

“I see,” Percy said again. “I’m sorry if I caused this. It won’t happen again.”

It probably meant he wouldn't lose his job, right? Because Percy paid really well.

It was Nico's turn to nod. He looked down at Percy's hand that was now on his shoulder and the other one that was resting on his knee. For some reason, at that moment he didn't feel nervous. In fact, it was the complete opposite. Nico was numb, feeling so good that any guilt or discomfort about being in this situation had dissipated. Or maybe he trusted him, because Percy was showing him that this trust could be placed in him.

Nico continued to stare at Percy's hand and then a blond head entered his field of vision. It was Logan, he was crying, his big green eyes puffy while Alice just watched attentively and quietly, both trying to smile at him. Nico smiled back and then everything seemed to get lighter, almost making him close his eyes.

"Okay, you can rest now. Do you have your cell phone? I'll let your family know.”

“Oh,” he muttered. It was true. Nico hadn’t told them. Looking up and finding himself smiling at Percy, Nico thanked him. “It’s in my bag.”

Before Percy could say anything, Nico finally let his eyes close. He felt Percy tucking him back into the pillows and heard footsteps leaving the room, but it was okay; in less than a few seconds everything went black and sleep took him away.

Until next time!