Death Will Not Free You Of Your Duties, Jason Grace

SITTER'S LOVE - Nico!Babysitter, Percy!Teacher-father - Chapter XXIV, Chapter XXV and Chapter XXVI

Previous chapters: CHAPTER I / CHAPTER II / / CHAPTER III, CHAPTER IV e CHAPTER V / Chapter VI e Chapter VII / Chapter VIII e Chapter IX / Chapter X, Chapter XI, Chapter XII e Chapter XIII / Chapter XIV / Chapter XV / Chapter XVI e Chapter XVII / Chapter XVIII and Chapter XIX / Chapter XX and Chapter XXI / Chapter XXII and Chapter XXIII

Chapter XXIV

"Ah, Percy Jackson! I didn't see you there. Have you been waiting long? I came to pick up Nico from work.”

No! Nico wanted to scream, he would never do that. But Will was still there and the threat had been clear enough. He was forced to let Will guide him by the shoulder and place him in front of Percy. He… he swallowed hard. Nico didn't think he had ever seen Percy like that; the man wasn't angry or upset like he imagined, no, it was such a neutral expressionlessness that… that made him fear the worst.

"Nico, you’re late." Percy stressed each word perfectly, his chest puffed out and his breathing deep and slow. Maybe… oh… maybe, in the end, fear wasn’t the right feeling.

Gasping, Nico felt a knot in his throat and walked the rest of the way to Percy, feeling smaller and shyer than he had in a long time.

“Lift your head,” Percy told him, and Nico found himself obeying without hesitation. “Ethan called me. He thought you needed help.”

Nico swallowed hard for the second time that morning. He was wrong, there wasn't an absence but an excess, a controlled excess of everything Percy didn't even try to hide. Percy just looked at him, his hot, stormy eyes fixed on his, making him fidget with anxiety.

Ah, why was this so hard? He felt… he felt that if Percy gave the order, at that moment, he would do whatever was asked of him.

“I…”

"Do you need help, Nico?" Percy insisted again and he couldn't lie. He merely nodded, letting out his breath slowly.

Percy offered him his hand and Nico accepted, Percy’s large hands covering his, guiding him to the car parked inside the large, solid iron gates, completely ignoring Will who continued to watch them.

"Hey, you can't do that! Nico and I--”

But he wasn't listening to what Will was saying, he preferred to focus on Percy's hand on his and the feeling that this innocent touch caused him.

When they got to the car he just… just let Percy grab him by the waist and lift him up, helping him sit in the passenger seat, allowing Percy to put on his seatbelt for him. Percy slammed the door and walked around the car, pulling away as soon as he sat in front of the steering wheel, his large hands gripping the steering wheel with more force than necessary. And the silence. If the sound of Will's voice turned his stomach, Percy's silence made him feel sick, made him want to jump out of the moving car just so he wouldn't have to face disapproval at Percy's every move and breath.

"I…" Nico said, trying to break the silence. "He didn’t do anything. Will just wanted to talk.”

"Hm.”

"He didn't kiss me or anything…”

"Hm.”

"Will, he wanted--”

“Enough,” Percy finally said, his voice low and gravelly, but in the silence of the car it sounded like Percy was shouting. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“He--”

"That's enough, Nico.”

Nico flinched, shrinking back against the car seat, the feeling going straight to his stomach as if Percy had punched him. Percy had never spoken to him like this, so cold, so rigid, so… domineering. Percy seemed to take up all the space and press him against the car seat with just his voice; it was like the man expected to be obeyed, demanding nothing more or nothing less. He felt like he had made a mistake, like a naughty little boy who deserved to be punished. And worst of all, he felt strange, like maybe he really did deserve the punishment.

And you know what was even stranger? Percy wasn't ignoring him, like Will used to do when they fought or like Hades did when he was angry. No, Percy still glanced at him from time to time in the rearview mirror and other times he even turned his head, staring at him before to get his attention back on the road. Nico just wanted... he just wanted to hide his face and cry like the helpless little boy everyone said he was.

***

The rest of the morning passed like a slow, uncomfortable but painless torture. Nico waited for the kids to finish eating, took them to school and when he came back, Percy was still there, in the living room where Nico usually spent most of his time. Percy sat on the couch right across from where Nico always sat – on the floor in front of the coffee table – where he would spend hours studying until lunch was ready.

Nico paused for a moment at the entrance to the living room and took a deep breath when he saw him there. He forced himself to take the few steps inside and picked up his books, placing them in a neat pile on the table and taking out his notebook and pens next. Percy just stared at him for a few seconds, returning to his reading, looking less… stiff.

"Have you eaten yet? I didn't see you put anything in your mouth.”

Okay, food… Nico lowered his head, pretending to grab something from his backpack and felt himself blushing. It wasn't his fault, when Percy spoke to him like that, all hoarse, deep and so serious it made him wonder… what else he could put in his mouth…

No! What was he thinking? Nico jumped and raised his head, Percy was watching him, his face still serious and not a hint of his usual smile. Percy should just want the answer, right? So why… Ah! He couldn't take it anymore!

Nico put his arms on top of the coffee table and hid his face in them, looking like he would melt in mortification at any moment! How could one look and ten words do this to him? Maybe Will was right and he just wanted to…

"Nico, take a deep breath." Percy touched his arm, his hands going to his hair, stroking it slowly. But this time that innocent touch only served to make him even more nervous, at the limit of what he could bear. He groaned, embarrassed and irritated.

"Then stop looking at me like that!" Nico practically shouted, he thought he was whining too, still with his face hidden.

“Okay,” Percy said, his voice softening. “Look at me, okay?”

Nico obeyed. There was nothing he wouldn't do for Percy. And if with his deep voice Nico couldn't deny him, with that soft voice that caressed his senses, he would do much more.

"I… I’m sorry." Nico murmured weakly. "Don’t be mad at me.”

"Okay, that’s right." Percy kept talking and touching Nico's hair, his hands sliding around the back of Nico's neck, pressing down there, preventing him from doing anything other than paying attention to him. But Percy wasn't smiling, still serious. Percy was kneeling next to Nico, his gaze level with his. However, what Percy said next made his breath stop. "I have to apologize. I have no right to act like this.”

"Act how?”

"I was jealous." Percy said bluntly, that deep tone of voice returning, intense eyes capturing his, making Nico get close to him without even realizing it. "I'm a very jealous man, I don't like other people touching what's mine.”

He blinked and took a deep breath, looking into Percy's green eyes. The man didn't seem to be joking, because in fact, Nico had never seen him so serious. Did he belong to Percy? Did he? Nico didn't know what he was doing or thinking anymore.

"I…" Nico didn't think or hesitate, he threw himself into Percy's lap and hugged him tightly around the neck.

Nico was actually doing it, he was sitting on Percy's lap and he didn't care at all, he needed this, he needed to make sure Percy wouldn't leave without letting him explain himself. 

So Nico wrapped his legs around Percy and quietly so as not to break the mood, he started whispering in his ear: "Will wanted to get back with me. He said you just wanted to play, that you would never... never be with me. That I just... he said he's going to talk to the police... I didn't know what to do. He didn't kiss me, I swear... I never--”

"Shh… it's okay. I believe you. Don't worry about it." Then, finally, Percy's arms wrapped tightly around his waist and hugged him, only then did Nico know he was forgiven, feeling Percy's lips whispering in his ear as softly as he had done, sliding down his face, brushing against his skin, stopping at the top of his head, making him sigh and close his eyes, feeling welcomed and warm inside. Nico wished Will could make him feel that way or evenJason would do, any other boy he had met other than Percy. Things would be so much easier and he would never have to feel guilty for feeling this way, as though he was doing something wrong every time Percy offered what he needed so much.

But it didn't matter. Just this once, Nico would let himself be rocked and touched in this soft, affectionate way, maybe when this was all over it wouldn't seem so damning.

Chapter XXV

Nico took a deep breath and walked into the house with the children. Ever since that incident with Will, things seemed to be… heating up and calming down at the same time, slowly settling down as the days went by. He couldn't explain it, it was like he was inside a pressure cooker and with the slightest touch everything could go up in a smoke. Nico could swear, something in Percy's eyes and attitude had changed, the smiles returned, but the intensity in them only increased, cooking and cooking with each passing day until… well, the food was ready.

And as usual, Percy Jackson proved to be the kindest and most gentlemanly person Nico had ever met in his life. Maybe a little too much. Even though he had the key to the house, Percy was always awake to welcome him. It was their routine, they had breakfast with the children, Percy said goodbye to them with a kiss and always had a caress for Nico, soft and discreet, but that made him melt every time. If it wasn't his hands sliding through Nico's hair when Percy passed by the room or got up from the table, it was that small touch on his shoulders that usually followed to the back of his neck. However, it was the soft and husky voice, all the careful and attentive looks, always paying attention to the smallest details that really drove him insane.

That day was no different. Percy had wiped his mouth, stood up and, smiling at Nico, walked around the table to say goodbye to the children. Then, Nico felt those big hands caress his hair in passing, Percy slowly moving away, climbing the stairs to the second floor, like nothing was happening.

He couldn't help but follow with his eyes the figure that disappeared down the stairs, Percy's scent already impregnated his senses, bringing together everything Nico liked most in the world; strong black coffee, books, a woody perfume and mint, all of this reminded him of his house in Italy where there was a mint and a coffee plantation right next to the window of his old room.

Nico looked at the children, trying to see if they had noticed anything and sighed in relief. They looked back at him, innocent and well-behaved, as if they were waiting for something.

"Okay." He said, confused. Nico looked back once more as though he could see through the walls and let out a breath. That meant nothing. Nothing at all. The affectionate gestures. The money. And much less this domestic and peaceful routine.

In the end, he decided it was best to just stop thinking and get on with his day. So Nico got up from his chair, the kids followed him, and they left the house and headed for the car Percy had bought for the kids. It was already dinnertime, which was ridiculous to think about when the kids were right there, eating and talking happily to Percy, while Percy responded, hanging on every word. In fact, he was the one who hadn't eaten much, playing with his food and fantasizing about the man who should have just been his boss. It was better not to think about things that were beyond his reach.

"Nico, do you want the cook to prepare something else? You haven't touched your plate. This has been happening for some days." Of course it was Percy who spoke, always paying attention to everything and everyone, or rather, his control complex speaking loudly once again.

"I'm not hungry." He said, keeping his gaze on the food, just looking at Percy made him feel guilty. And hot.

Seriously, how could he be so pathetic? How? Even the kids were starting to notice.

"Is it your anxiety?" Alice asked, all worried.

"Hm." Nico stated, which was a complete lie. Anxiety was not what he would call that desire.

Yeah, Nico had finally gone over the top.

"Did you take your medicine?" Percy asked and he finally looked at the man.

It was a mistake. Percy had a smile on his face, but it was that kind of smile. Percy knew exactly what was happening to him. How bad would it be if Nico said that he was his medicine? Nico hated it when Percy looked at him like that, all satisfied and in control. Because, in truth, he didn't hate it at all. So, Nico forced himself to sigh, shoving a forkful of some random food he couldn't even taste into his mouth, resigning himself to his fate.

***

It was one day that his pot finally burst.

Nico was there, minding his own business and studying for a change, when strong arms came around him from behind, wrapping around his waist. Percy's head rested on his shoulder and large hands pressed against his abdomen, making him moan in surprise. But that hadn't been a cry of fright, no, it was a high-pitched, needy moan that would make even Luke, the most perverted person he knew, blush.

"Now, now. Do you need help with that?”

Nico was embarrassed, but he admitted it. He had gasped, arched his spine and froze, shocked by his own reaction when he realized what was happening. He was… hmm… erect? Because of a hug? How old was he? This couldn't go on, Nico wouldn't survive.

"Nico?" Percy asked in that gentle voice of his, still hugging him from behind, his hands caressing his belly through the fabric of his shirt. But not this time, because Nico knew what Percy was trying to do; the humiliating thing was that it was working.

"Percy, I need you to stop.”

"Do you need it?" His voice sounded playful now, but he wouldn't fool him.

"I want you to stop.”

Percy let go of him and Nico turned toward him, feeling his throat tighten. Why did it feel like he was breaking up with someone else in less than a month? Maybe because he was. Nico couldn't jeopardize his own future and Percy's future over something that would eventually end in drama and lots of tears.

So, he took a deep breath, let it out and opened his mouth:

"Per--”

"I know what you're going to say. You don't have to tell me anything.”

"No, you don't understand.”

"Yes, I understand. You want me to stop.”

Nico stared at him and Percy stared back, his green eyes blazing. It was like Percy had expected this, the rejection and betrayal clear on his features. Percy didn't even look sad or disappointed, he just seemed to accept things as they were.

"I love you." There, finally Nico had said it. "I love you." He repeated.

“Do you love me?” Percy repeated in disbelief, a slow smile forming on his lips.

“That's why this has to end. If it were anyone else, I would take advantage of you and threaten you for money. I can't do that. I wouldn't sleep well knowing that I was the reason for your downfall.”

"Nico!" Percy laughed, laughed so happily and held his hands, his eyes shining with happiness. "Don't be so dramatic.”

"No, I can't take it anymore! I'm leaving right now and--”

"Calm down, okay?" Then, Percy moved closer and turned his face towards him, his hot breath against Nico's mouth, his hands pulling him by the back of his neck, his lips so close to his and… Nico couldn't! He placed his hand in the middle of Percy's chest, preventing Percy from moving any closer.

"I can't! This is wrong. This is so wrong! You gave me money and now you expect me to... to do this?”

"Nico!”

"And what about our age? How can things work out?”

"It doesn't matter. If you love me and I love you, it's not wrong, honey. It's just human nature. Hmm?" Percy leaned closer to him once more and the only solution Nico found was to get up and run away from him.

"Percy, no!" He walked around the couch and tried to put some distance between the two of them.

"Percy, yes." Percy whispered, standing up as well.

Nico swore, he felt like he was in a romantic comedy or maybe the beginning of a very cliché porn. That was his mistake, in his one moment of carelessness Percy launched himself towards him and caught him by the waist before Nico could run away once more. Percy grabbed him by the neck, pulling his head back and then his breath was against Nico's face once more, mere millimeters away.

"I want to resign." This time Nico didn't try to run away and just closed his eyes, waiting for the worst.

The kiss never came. What came was a disappointed grunt.

" You're serious.”

“I am.”

"Nico, are you going to let these people tell you how to live your life?”

"This isn't about them, it's about whether I'll be able to sleep with a clear conscience. I've barely started my life, you already have an established career. What if I need to move to another country?”

"I'll go with you.”

"What if I don't have free time?”

“I wait for you.”

“And if--”

"I’ll do everything for you.”

Percy seemed as determined as he was, but… but Nico couldn't do that to Percy or to himself.

"Next semester I'm going to college, but until then I hope you can respect me.”

Chapter XXVI

"I’ll do everything for you.”

Percy seemed as determined as he was, but… but Nico couldn't do that to Percy or to himself.

"Next semester I'm going to college, but until then I hope you can respect me.”

Nico closed his eyes again and when he opened them, Percy was still there, his green eyes staring at him and his hands holding him by the waist, stroking his hair as if nothing was happening. And since when was this something normal? Since when did being around Percy become something so instinctive, something so comfortable?

"Percy! You're not taking me seriously.”

"That's not true. I always listen to you, I choose not to agree.”

Nico hit Percy's shoulder, trying to push him away, which only caused them both to fall to the floor; Percy on top of him, of course, and he against one of the beanbags on the floor. Percy's hands broke his fall and his hoarse voice echoed through the room, the sound of Percy's laughter making that little part of his stomach turn and his heart start beating fast again.

"Come on, baby, don't be so serious. It was just a joke.”

"Is this all a game to you? Is this what I am? A joke?" Nico turned his face away from Percy and focused on keeping his breathing calm. He couldn’t help it, he could still hear Will’s words… “Do you think he’ll stay with you? Some useless guy who’s good for nothing?” Nico couldn’t help but think, to wonder if deep down it was all just fun and games, something Percy use to pass the time.

"Nico, darling. Look at me.”

In the end, it wasn't up to him to decide. Not when it mattered. Because, without waiting for his permission, Percy simply grabbed the back of his neck and made him look at him, so close to Nico and more serious than before, enough to make him tremble, but in a different way, almost encouraging him to act in the way that, deep down, he knew was what they both wanted. But there Percy was, just holding him gently, watching him, without hesitation or masks that could hide what was happening at that moment.

Which was a relief, he didn't know if he could say no to what Percy was going to ask. That is, if Percy stopped playing around and decided to take action.

"You will always be important to me." Percy said, finally being honest. "I will always take into account your words, your opinion. If it were up to me, we would be in bed and I would treat you the way you deserve.”

“I--”

Nico thought he moaned. His face so close to Percy’s, their breaths mingling, bodies pressing closer with each passing moment.

"Don't you realize that when I try not to take you seriously is when I want you the most?”

He understood. It’s like… he was starting to understand, because Percy was between his legs and even through the fabric of his jeans, he could feel the bulge and pressure against his groin.

"You…" Nico swallowed, his hands that were resting against Percy's shoulder slid down without his permission, stopping against his abdomen.

"I respect you, I would never do anything against your will. I can wait. If you wait for me.”

"Hmm.”

This time Nico had moaned, he had really moaned and he had even thrown his head back. He couldn't help it, to the point where he almost wet his pants. Almost two months of this, Percy teasing him and slowly torturing him until he couldn't take it anymore. It wasn't fair, especially when Percy hadn't even done anything; it was Nico who had accidentally rubbed himself against Percy.

"No, no, no! I can't!" He practically screamed. Well, it was more like a desperate whimper. Nico pushed Percy harder and crawled across the room, getting as far as he could only to lean his back against the living room couch and cover his face with his hands, focusing only on breathing deeply.

"Where do you think you're going, kitten?" Nico heard the laughter in Percy's husky, velvety voice, making him squirm, feeling even more miserable.

"Percy!”

"I'm sorry, baby.”

"No, you don't!”

"It's true, I don't.”

Then Percy's voice came closer and he knew the man was sitting next to him, but not touching him.

"I don't want you to be uncomfortable. I never meant for this to happen. It's like those things that catch you by surprise, things you didn't even know you needed.”

"Hm." Nico murmured, his face still covered.

"I'm not proud of it. We... just fit together, you know?”

“I know.”

"It's so natural. It feels like I've known you for years.”

“I know.”

"So, you know that I love you? That I'm in no hurry?”

" I… know. " Nico hesitated, feeling his chest warm.

"Then you should know that I'm not the romantic type or to get attached easily.”

Nico nodded this time, trying to forget everythingJason had told him.

"And you're so good with children. Even Annabeth likes you, even if she denies it.”

"Please, can you stop?" Nico found himself saying, or rather, pleading. He wasn’t ready for this conversation.

"Look, I get it. I want you to know that this is a new feeling for me too and that--”

"Are you here if I need you?”

"Yeah, that too. I'm not going to change my mind. I'm not going to play with you. I'm not that person anymore, I have kids, a career--”

"So why would you stay with me?" Nico raised his head and looked at him, he needed to know if Percy was serious.

The sad look he saw on Percy's face surprised him.

"Because you're worth it. Isn't that enough?”

So Percy stroked his hair one last time and stood up, saying:

"I'll be in my room if you need me.”

Nico watched Percy walk away and almost followed the impulse to follow him upstairs. He didn’t know why, but to Nico it felt as if those words had been a farewell.

***

"Nico? Nicoooo, I can't solve this problem." It was Logan who called him, probably for a while if it were for the hand that the little boy was waving in front of his face, all anxious and frustrated.

"Let's see." It was a mathematics problem. "It's easy. You have to add from right to left, top to bottom. One plus five equals?

"Six!”

"Three plus two?”

"Five!”

"That's right, so we have sixty-five. See?”

"Ah. I had--”

He heard footsteps across the room and there was Percy, tall and charming as ever, his hair slicked back, he was wearing a tailored dark blue suit and carrying a briefcase in his hands.

As soon as Logan saw him, he ran towards his father and hugged him tightly around the waist.

"Where are you going? You promised you would have dinner with us!”

"A promise is a promise in this house. I need to go to work quickly, I'll be back before you know it.”

"Daa-ad." Logan whimpered and Percy just smiled. He stroked Logan's hair and picked him up.

"Behave yourself, okay? I'll be back soon.”

Percy sat Logan down on the couch and said goodbye to Alice, who was watching the dramatic scene, disinterested as always. She received a caress and a kiss on the cheek then Percy turned to him. Nico saw in slow motion Percy's hands come towards his hair and stop before reaching it, frozen in the air.

It would be funny if it wasn't so sad.

Percy cleared his throat, the kids looked at each other and Nico looked away, pretending nothing was happening. The worst part wasn't even the aborted touches, it was the silences that followed, they explained much more than Nico could put into words. Because, in fact, Percy hadn't lied, he was respecting what Nico had asked. Even more so if he could be honest. 

Percy didn't touch his hair anymore, didn't hug him, didn't smile as much and didn't spend time with him anymore until the movie sessions disappeared too, happening only when the kids were around. Nico just... missed him. At first, he thought this thing was about the physical contact, like Will had said, but now, Nico saw how much Percy talked to him, how Percy always listened to him and never judged him, it was only at that moment that Nico realized how the sweet and patient words had left a hole in his chest bigger than touches and almost kisses could.

"Okay." Percy said. He looked around the room, avoiding his gaze, put his hands in his pockets and also pretended that nothing had happened. "I shouldn't be back too late. Wait for me.”

This time, Percy was talking to Nico, he knew that. That's why Nico nodded and looked at Logan's notebook that was still in his hands. He flipped through it like there was something very important and only raised his head when he heard Percy's footsteps heading towards the entrance chamber. Sighing in relief, Nico leaned back against the couch behind him, letting his head fall back. When he asked Percy to stop, he thought that would be the most intense part and not... any contact between them.

With Percy it was all or nothing, right? He didn't imagine it could be so literal.

"Nico, are you okay?" Alice asked beside him. "What happened between you and Daddy?”

"What happened? Nothing happened. These are adult things, you don't need to worry.”

"Are you leaving?" Logan asked.

"I…" Nico thought about lying to them and saying he would stay forever. He wouldn’t want them to do that to him, so… "I will, but not now. Next semester. Did you know I’m working to save money for college, right?”

Both children waved, moving closer to Nico, each from one side.

"Now I have enough money, your father--”

"He's very generous. That's what everyone says!" Logan told him.

"Yes, he is.”

"Don't listen to what Daddy says." Surprised, he heard Alice tell him. She held his hand and looked at him deeply with those green eyes as intense as Percy's. "He's not usually so... mean.”

Nico opened his mouth, but he didn't know what to say. What could he say? That he really liked this evil side when Percy was focusing it on him?

"He's lonely and he's always put us first. But I think... I think he deserves company too. I don't mind if you and Daddy go out.”

"What? No. Nothing is going on between us. It's serious.”

"Are you going to be our mother?" Logan asked in his innocence, his bright blue eyes watching him with joy. But if even he had noticed, it meant that the innocent one was himself.

"Logan, I could never replace your mother.”

"Why? You're much better than her.”

“I…”

"You don't like Daddy?" Alice said again. "I thought you did.”

"It's not about liking.”

“So, you like him?” She insisted, leaning closer to him, just like Percy would do.

Nico found himself laughing and hugging them both by the shoulders, really tight.

"It was Percy who asked you to say that, I'm sure.”

"Well… he’s been so sad. I swear daddy didn’t say anything.”

"Alice." He scolded her.

"Maybe he said something…”

"What would that be?”

"Like... he's been sleeping a lot. Eating little. Distracted. It's been a while since I've seen daddy like this.”

"What does this have to do with me?”

"You're distracted, too.”

"You even burned the soup the other day!" Logan finished for Alice.

"Children, you are exaggerating.”

"So why don't you guys talk anymore? Why don't you stay in the same room for more than five minutes?”

"I…" Yeah, Nico had no excuse for that. "It doesn’t matter. What matters is your well-being.”

"It's okay if you change your mind one day.”

"Yes! We love you very, very much!" Logan said and hugged him tightly around the waist, Alice followed, hugging him on the other side. Nico was left to return the gesture of affection. But he and Percy would have a good talk, that's for sure.

Today was a big chapter. As always, I appreciate your feedback! If you want, I'd love to hear from you.

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME - PERCY/NICO AU HIGH SCHOOL - CHAPTER XX

I hope you enjoy it.

CHAPTER I / CHAPTER II / CHAPTER III / CHAPTER IV / CHAPTER V / CHAPTER VI / CHAPTER VII / CHAPTER VIII / CHAPTER IX / CHAPTER X / CHAPTER XI / CHAPTER XII / CHAPTER XIII / CHAPTER XIV / CHAPTER XV / CHAPTER XVI / CHAPTER XVII / CHAPTER XVIII / CHAPTER XIX

Percy felt like he had gone back in time. He remembered as if it were yesterday, the long, tortuous days and the whispers wherever he went; the desire to disappear was also there, the disconnection with reality, as if no one could break his bubble of self-blame and depression, feeling the emptiness that hit him when he least expected it; the feeling of inadequacy telling him that he would always be that lonely, violent boy who didn't deserve what he had or the love of others. In the end, no matter how detached he felt from reality and how unprepared to deal with life, time waited for no one. When Percy blinked, they were already at the end of first quarter of the year, which brought him to that verymoment, barely able to focus on what was right in front of his face. A surprise test, a piece of paper that would tell him if he had a chance of passing the first assessments or not.

"Per?" Nico whispered beside him, still writing. "You didn't study at all, did you?" 

Could anyone blame him? The guilt was still eating at him up inside, paralyzing him, fighting against the urge to do exactly the opposite of what his conscience was asking him to do. Nico being around him twenty-four hours a day wasn't helping, making him want to break that bubble of anguish and, at the same time, tempted to stay exactly where he was just so he wouldn't have to make a decision. Percy still woke up in the middle of the night tense and without remembering why, forced to get out of bed to calm down or get some fresh air on his face. Because he had to--

"Don't worry, we'll figure it out." Nico touched his shoulder and showed him one of the sweetest smiles he had ever seen, making Percy relax immediately, feeling like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. He watched Nico pick up both of his answer sheets, walk over to the teacher and hand them to him, who smiled charmingly at Nico.

No, he wasn't going to go down that path. That was why Percy had gotten himself into such trouble. He was committed, he would be a better person even if he died trying. So, Percy put his things in the bag and took a deep breath, counting to thirty.

1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7--

“Let’s go?”

Percy looked up and there was Nico, sweet and smiling, holding out his hands to him. The fear of worrying Nico was the only thing keeping him on his feet at the moment, if someone gave him a nudge Percy would crumble immediately; he couldn't accept the fact that... that in the end he was the monster people accused him of being. Feeling on automatic mode, Percy picked up their bags and held the hand Nico offered to him, barely missing the disappointed expression on the teacher's face.

Usually Percy liked this class and it wouldn't need much to get a high mark, but what could he do if his obsession was right in front of him, wanting his attention all the time? The bad thing was knowing he would sink into this obsession if the world around them didn't remind him of what a mistake this would be. Sometimes, Percy asked himself if what he felt was love or was just a codependency, a crutch to help him deal with the problems and traumas that not even the best psychiatrist could fix.

“Is everything okay? Do you need a break?”

They had become masters at creating barriers that weren’t there before, useless and cruel barriers that only served to hurt both of them.

If Percy were honest, he would say it’s exactly what he needed, although it wouldn’t make anything better. The longing would only increase, the pain in his chest would spread and that bad feeling in his stomach would grow stronger, making him act impulsively. Basketball practice would be a good excuse for his issues if the coach hadn’t banned him from practicing until he could focus on the game.

“Do you want to come with me to band practice? We’re going to play at the dance.”

Gently, Nico held his arm with both hands and kissed his cheek, making Percy forget about his inner demons for a brief moment, warming the emptiness in his body. “Come on, it'll be nice. You can join in if you want.”

“I didn't bring my guitar.”

“The teacher can lend it to you.”

“I don't know…” After all, there was a reason he didn't join in the group practice.

“I've been thinking about what you said... that I don't have many hobbies. You were right.”

“Was I?” It’s good to know he’d done something good.

“In Verona, I went out with my friends, drew, played and sang, wrote and cooked every day with my grandmother and cousins. I just... I feel like I don't need to do all those things when I'm with you. Now I understand the problem with that. You are doing the same.”

Well, that was exactly the problem. They were an obsessive, compulsive couple who were obsessed with each other. It was hard to see the rest of the world when the person he loved the most was so close, but for that reason it was so wrong to want those things. His desires became so intense that everything ended up being somewhat toxic.

Percy wanted to say all of this to Nico, but if he did, it would only encourage him to stay with him in this intense and traumatic bubble they had created.

“I’m glad you understand.”

“That’s exactly why I want to show you something. Will you come with me?”

He would do anything Nico asked.

Luckily, Nico was too kind to demand anything of him, or that was usually the case. So when Nico asked, Percy would be happy to oblige. He took Nico’s hand once more and they headed towards the music department, letting Nico lead him for the first time in his life. Maybe it would be a good change for them.

***

“Nico, where have you been these days? We couldn’t find you anywhere!”

Percy now remembered why he didn’t like coming to band practice. Because the one who had gotten up and ran towards them was Lou Ellen, the most fervent defender of the defenseless and oppressed, and according to her, Percy was one of those who oppressed other people.

Lou stopped in front of them and crossed her arms, looking him up and down. Percy chose to pretend he hadn't seen her, this was another ex-member of his fan club. 

Percy may or may not have gotten involved with her, he may or may not have used her and then thrown her away. It wasn't his fault if people put expectations on him when Percy didn’t promised anything, not even love or friendship. In the end, people believed what they wanted, but he wouldn't be the one to stroke their ego.

"I get it. Why did you bring that psychopath here?" She mumbled, as if she had eaten something sour, and turned to Nico. "Nico! We're late. Did you get the song?"

"Better yet, I wrote one." Nico, like the angel he was, ignored what she had said and held his hand tightly; Nico knew very well what Percy really wanted to be doing.

Instantly, Lou Ellen's face transformed in the blink of an eye, from frowning to glowing.

"Perfect! Are you going to show us?”

Lou hadn't given Nico time to answer, she pulled him along and Percy had no choice but to follow them into the music auditorium where less than ten teenagers were waiting. He remembered at some point in the past being among them, he must have been what? Twelve years old? But since music had always been something Nico liked, Percy choose to focus on other things, like sports, something that could give him a better future.

Percy didn't say anything or greet anyone, he followed Nico to the center of the stage and watched from afar. Nico picked up a guitar provided by the school and sat down on the floor, where the other people approached and sat around Nico, looking at him with admiration and something else he would rather not question. Honestly? Percy couldn't blame them, Nico looked even more handsome with a guitar on his lap and that look of contemplation as he strummed a few notes on the guitar strings, his sweet and velvety voice coming right after, echoing through the room, words and notes that Percy didn't recognize, but he also didn't make an effort to pay attention to their meanings, letting the music surround him like a sweet caress that insisted on flowing through him only to leave him throbbing and wanting more. 

He couldn't resist, Percy put their bags in a corner and got close to Nico, sitting directly next to him, placing one of his hands on Nico's back. 

Nico merely turned his face towards him and continued singing, perhaps in a slightly lower tone, a little more intimate, as if those words were meant for him and no one else. Nico smiled, then, calmly, and finally when the song reached its end, the sound of the guitar echoed for a few more moments, waking him up with its ending

Looking only at him, Nico asked in a low voice:

“Did you like it?”

“It was really good.” Because it was true. Even if he hadn’t paid attention to the words, the song itself spoke enough. “What’s it called?”

“There’s no place like home.”

The people around him applauded, stealing Nico’s attention, who thanked them, making something inside Percy rage. Who did they think they were!?

“Nico, we recorded it. Is that okay?” Lou said from somewhere in the audience. “It's perfect. Can I share it with the others?”

“I… I put it online? Can I send in the chat group?” Nico said, feeling unsure. Of course, Percy thought, as if they would deny it when the people around seemed to love him.

“That’s great,” Lou said again, excitedly.

“Excellent, Nico. Thank you for sharing something so personal with us. Can we use it for an exercise?” Euterpe, the music teacher, congratulated him. When Nico nodded, she continued. “For the next class, I want you to create an arrangement for the band. Re-record the song and also bring suggestions for other songs to perform at the dance.”

With that, the auditorium exploded into activity, people organizing themselves into two or three groups while the two  remained where they were, leaning towards each other, with Nico still holding the guitar and Percy holding Nico's waist.

"Do you want to play?" 

Percy accepted the instrument when Nico offered it to him, although he hesitated for a moment. It had been a while since he had held a guitar, long enough to almost make him forget how to position his fingers. But as they say, there are things in life that we never forget and that’s what happened when the first note sounded, clean and firm on his fingers, the fingering exercises coming back with full force, making him remember the long hours in that same auditorium, one of the few things that kept him in touch with reality when Nico had left. One of the thousands of crutches he carried through life, but that kept him standing on his feet. 

Percy concentrated for a moment and let himself go, lowered his head and allowed himself to remember, felt his fingers fly over the strings and allowed a strange calm to take over him. And for long minutes that’s all he heard, his breathing and the sequence of fast notes, that is, until his sequence came to an end and he found himself embraced by Nico.

"That's beautiful. Why didn't you tell me you could play like that?" Nico said calmly, not as if he was demanding something but as if he had received a valuable gift.

"I was busy with basketball. And with the teenage drama." Well, Percy was never good at making jokes. So, he wasn't surprised by Nico's attitude, who just kissed his cheek and rested his head on his shoulder.

"Play some more. Everyone liked it.”

“Everyone?" Percy looked around the auditorium and saw that people were indeed watching him in silence without the usual mockery. And he could swear that there were more people in the room than before.

"What do you want to hear?" 

"A romantic ballad." 

That's what he did, the notes coming out slower and simpler. Imagine his surprise when he heard people singing along with Nico, clapping and swaying.

Well, what could he do? Maybe not everything needed to be drowned in drama and angst.

***

“Sorry.” Percy said, admitting defeat. Sometimes, he forgot that Nico couldn't guess what he was thinking and, if he wanted their relationship to work as it should, Nico wasn't the only one who needed to be honest.

“You didn't do anything wrong.”

A few days had passed, but that moment in the music room had stayed in his mind. Percy knew he had a tendency to get lost in his own thoughts, imagining how the whole world was against him, when in fact, no one cared e he shouldn’t either; gossip was fleeting, these things had no effect on his life and not everyone had something bad to say about him. Nico was the reminder of that, that he still had a family, friends and someone who would stand by his side unconditionally.

To repay all the effort Nico was making, Percy had sat next to Nico on the couch at home and hugged him tightly, pulling him onto his lap. He kissed him back, but not the innocent little kisses they had grown accustomed to over the past few weeks, but rather open mouths and tongues intertwining, hearing Nico moan, sprawled and surprised in his arms.

“What was that?” Nico gasped, still in his lap, holding onto his neck.

“Thank you for being patient.”

Nico blinked slowly at him, his cheeks flushed, breathing fast, an obvious bulge in his pants. Percy knew this was Nico trying to reason through the excitement that was suddenly invading his brain.

“You know I love you, don’t you?”

“I know.” Percy said, feeling truly content.

“Sex… it’s not important. You’re my best friend, my partner.”

“Nico.”

“I could go without sex for the rest of my life, but I never want to be without you. I can wait.”

“I’m sorry.” And Percy really was, especially seeing the frustration on Nico's angelic face, seeing that Nico was ready to beg at the slightest positive sign.

The truth is that celibacy was not for him. It was a torture every day that he didn't touch Nico, he was afraid that if he allowed himself to do what he wanted, he would go back to the same bad habits. Although Percy had been questioning himself if all of this was wrong or if it was all inside his head due to the guilt of not having paid more attention to what was happening with Nico.

“Enough. I don't want to see you like this. I don't want to hear that you're sorry and that you're going to change. I don't want you to change, I mean... you don't have to do all these things because of me.”

Nico was practically pouting now, angry, it was beautiful to watch as Nico tried to convey the seriousness in his words. Nico kept trying so hard to make sure he was okay that Percy felt like doing something crazy; it could be anything. What he really wanted to do was throw Nico on the bed and make him forget the worry written all over his face. Maybe he should? Just to see if he could control himself?

“I understand. I won’t apologize again.”

“You won’t?” Nico tilted his head to the side, like a confused puppy, and that made Percy smile. He grabbed Nico by the hair and kissed him once more, feeling Nico melt against his chest.

“You deserve a reward. Do you know why?”

“Why?” Nico moaned, shifting in his lap.

“Because good boys deserve the best things.”

“Am I…? A good boy?”

“The best.”

Percy felt like he was at a tasting in his favorite restaurant. He stared at Nico’s burning face for a moment and finally allowed himself to do what he wanted. Slowly, to see what Nico would do, he took his hand from Nico’s waist and brought it to the boy’s groin, touching him gently over his jeans. Like a flower, Nico spread his legs and moved his hands out of the way, looking up at where Percy's hands were going, moaning softly when Percy finally covered his member over his clothes.

"Is it okay if I do this?" Percy asked, stopping his movements.

"Yes, please." And then, as an afterthought, Nico said: "Thank you!"

"Hmm, good boy." 

Then, as he had promised, he opened the button on Nico's pants and lowered the zipper, seeing the small bulge over his underwear. Even more slowly, Percy massaged his member for a few moments and pulled it out of his underwear. He couldn't deny it, Nico was beautiful everywhere; his dark skin, his sweet voice, his soft body. Down there he was all of that too, the member that fit in his hand, the reddish and wet head right at the tip, the  thin, well-trimmed hair at the base. Percy felt like devouring him and would only stop when Nico came all over himself, in pleasure, on his hands, on his knees, surrendered at Percy's feet. 

But not today, today Percy would take everything as calmly as he could.

“Please!” Nico whimpered, tears welling up in his eyelashes.

Percy closed his eyes for a moment and focused on his breathing. It was that heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach that was taking over him again, that possessive, controlling voice telling him that if Nico was his and he was offering himself to him like this, Percy could do whatever he wanted.

"It's okay, baby," Percy murmured, barely recognizing his own voice as he heard Nico moan. He hesitated only a moment to pay attention to Nico's reaction.

Oh, his sweet Nico. He was staring at him with wide eyes, pleading, showing so much trust in him that Percy had to move. The hand that had been near Nico's groin finally found its way and wrapped around his throbbing member. He had almost forgotten the feeling of touching such an intimate place on someone else’s body. Percy tested the waters by holding around Nico and then brushing one of his fingers over the tip, collecting the pre-cum and bringing it down, fingering the length to wrap it around him completely again, applying a little pressure.

"Like this?" He asked.

Well, Nico didn't answer him exactly, but the way Nico was leaning against his chest, moaning shamelessly, should have been a good indication.

Suddenly, Percy felt curious. After so long he felt like he had forgotten the shape of Nico's body. He used his other hand and wrapped it around Nico's lower belly, caressing his belly. He moved up a little further and found his abdomen, his ribs and chest, touching the hard nipples, where he lingered for a few moments.

"Percy!" He heard Nico whimper, rubbing himself against him.

"I know. I'm torturing you."

Keeping Nico pinned against his chest, back against shoulders, Percy continued his exploration, going down and massaging between Nico's legs again.

"Could you... lower?" Then, Nico murmured, all docile and obedient.

"Here?" His curious fingers did as Nico asked, passing over Nico's testicles and finding Nico's entrance. A light touch told him what Nico wanted.

“Have you been having fun without me, hmm?”

“I didn't know if… when… ah!…”

Well, he was still curious. Slowly, Percy brushed one of his fingers around the entrance and soon Nico opened like a flower. And even dry, his finger entered, almost without resistance, going all the way in. Percy could bet that while he was trying to give Nico time to think, Nico was having fun without him.

“Is this what you did when I wasn't looking?”

Percy tried to put another finger in and surprising him, the finger entered almost without resistance again. Nico bent over in a way that seemed painful and screamed at the top of his lungs: “It's all your fault! I tried… I tried… it's not the same!”

Oh, that made him want… no! Not today. Today, he would settle for touching and watching, who knows, maybe in a few days Percy would feel strong enough to move forward. 

So, Percy did what Nico so desperately asked him to do. He watched Nico's member throb, without anything touching it, while he continued to massage Nico's insides, moving his fingers slowly around, opening them very delicately until he found the right place. Nico shuddered and moaned for a long time, arching his spine and like magic, he saw Nico expelling, jet after jet, Percy without having to touch anywhere else.

"I hate you!" Nico groaned as he finally collapsed against Percy's chest, an expression of exhaustion and ecstasy still etched on his features.

Well, Percy believed in Nico. Sometimes, he hated himself too, especially when he had to control himself like this.

"I love you too." Percy continued to hold Nico against his chest and only moved when he was sure that Nico would no longer hate him.

So, how was today's chapter? I'm trying to develop their D/s relationship in a way that feels natural. Percy may know a lot about the bdsm world, but knowing isn't the same as understanding or practicing. Like, there's something called domdrop, you know? The guilt of doing something that socially might be discouraged, like taboo fantasies and kinks. Just like Nico has or will have some kind of subdrop too. It's not all roses and I wanted to show this side of this kind of relationship in the story. I hope you enjoyed it. Likes, reblogs and comments are always welcome. Suggestions too.

I make a post about how smut writers shouldn't be discouraged if their smut has a low hits to kudos ratio, because people are just afraid to kudos smut.

I get told in response that AKTUALLY smut has a low kudos to hits ratio because people are re-reading that smut.

I make a post about how if you're re-reading a fic a lot you should tell the author because they won't know that and will think no one likes their fic.

I get told that authors should just ASSUME that it's re-reads without needing to be told.

I post a smut fic that gets 100+ hits in its first 24 hours of posting (therefor no re-reads counted) and this smut fic with 100+ hits gets zero kudos.

I make a post about how if you read a fic on AO3 it creates a 'hit' and if the author gets a lot of hits without kudos or comments or response, the author will assume no one liked their fic.

I get told that authors should just ASSUME that everyone who clicks their fic likes it, without needing to be told that.

I make a post reminding people that fanfiction authors are not mind readers and that there's no way for them to tell a hit from a person who clicked a fic by mistake, or hated the fic, from a hit from a person who liked it, and if you don't tell the author you liked their fic they will assume you didn't.

I get told that authors aren't entitled to comments or kudos, or to a certain ratio of kudos to hits.

NO SHIT.

But if they don't get comments or kudos, they're gonna assume ya'll didn't like the fic!

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME - PERCY/NICO AU HIGH SCHOOL - CHAPTER XVI

Hi, how are you? I managed to translate the chapter just in time.

The chapter was going to come out earlier, but because of the holiday in Brazil I've allowed myself to rest. I've definitely given up on having a posting schedule, but I'll try to update every week. So, just come by once a week, on Friday, because if I post something it'll be ready on Friday. And, like, consider the texts here as initial drafts, okay? I'm still in my creative phase, and I love putting sub-plots and other things in the middle of the main plot. If I followed my original plan, I would have finished the story by now. So, let's relax and have fun. Thanks for being here!

Not too many warnings apart from mental health, I hope you like it.

CHAPTER I / CHAPTER II / CHAPTER III / CHAPTER IV / CHAPTER V / CHAPTER VI / CHAPTER VII / CHAPTER VIII / CHAPTER IX / CHAPTER X / CHAPTER XI / CHAPTER XII / CHAPTER XIII / CHAPTER XIV / CHAPTER XV

Nico put the pen down on the last page he had written and rested the diary next to his pillow, stretching his arms and neck. He had written more than he had intended. Well, Percy was in for a bit of a surprise when he read it. But in the end, Percy was right, writing had taken the pressure off his shoulders that Nico hadn't even known was there to begin with. It was a magical moment, as he put his thoughts down on paper, his mind felt light and empty, as if he was telling what was bothering him to someone who wouldn't judge him and wouldn't try to give him 'advice' he hadn't asked for.

Tired of waiting, Nico lay down on the bed and put his head on the pillow. Why was Percy doing taking so long? The next thing he knew, he had closed his eyes, opening them again to feel something soft slide over his body. It was a damp, warm towel that Percy was holding. Nico blinked slowly and then Percy's figure came into view, wet hair and bare chest, wearing only a towel as he gently cleaned his body.

"Would you like a bath?" Percy murmured, moving closer to him, making him sit against the edge of the bed. "I filled the tub for you.”

"I could." He shrugged, it seemed like a good idea. Nico rarely saw any reason to use the bathtub.

So Percy took him by the hand and led him into the bathroom, asking: 

"How do you feel?”

He didn't know. A slight burning that pulsed inside him, maybe? Muscle and mental fatigue? A relaxation he had never felt before? It was all of this together and more. In general? Nico felt good, or as good as possible, similar to when he hadn't run away to Italy yet, maybe even better, now that he didn't need to hide his feelings.

"I'm fine." Nico shrugged again.

"Do you remember our rules?”

Unfortunately, Nico remembered. Percy must have been referring to always being honest.

"I don't know." Nico said, trying to be as honest as he could. "It's all too new for me to have an opinion.”

"Nico.” 

He stopped and faced Percy, who now had his arms crossed.

"You have to stop this. Don't tell me what I want to hear”.

"What do you want me to say?”

"What you're really feeling. Does something hurt? Do you need anything?”

"Why are you always questioning me?”

"Because you're always trying to please me.”

"What's wrong with that?”

He looked at Percy, but Percy looked at him like he was going to explode. None of that happened, though. Percy took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again, an aura of calm was present. It was one of those moments where Nico knew he wasn't going to win, no matter what he did. So he let Percy lead him to the bathtub and lathered him up slowly and leisurely.

"You don't see the problem with that? Do you?" Percy asked distractedly, his hands sliding down between Nico's legs.

"Things have always been like this.”

"That's why I didn't go after you.”

"I don't think I understand.”

"I discovered that I... can't control myself around you. I made you act this way. I put you in this perfect, unbreakable little box. No one should live like that, according to someone else's wishes.”

"That's not true, I've always been like that.”

"Really? It took you five years to say all those things to me. If you didn't feel comfortable telling me how you felt before, what does that mean?”

Nico turned to face Percy, who had a distant look on his face, and realized that this bothered Percy more than he thought.

"I don't like fighting. I prefer things to stay that way.”

"Like what?”

"No conflict and no drama. I don't want to have to think about every step of the way. I just want to be with you and... satisfy you. Isn't that enough?”

"I can't do that." Then Percy grabbed his face and slid his fingers to the back of his neck, massaging it slowly and making him relax even more. "How can I be sure I'm not hurting you or stopping you from doing other things?”

"That's the point, isn't it? You feel guilty about wanting the same things I do.”

"Nico, don't torture me.”

"I'm not." He didn't think he was. "When I don't want... this thing we have, you'll know. 

"How?”

"I'll run away. Not like today. But, like, as if my life depended on it.

"Nico!”

"You know, when people try to get close to me, I usually feel suffocated. But when it's you, I just feel free and safe, even if I'm scared.”

Nico thought he was losing his mind, looking like a lunatic on the edge of a cliff. But it was the pure truth, what he looked for in all those faces, wasn't the beauty or the deep green eyes, no, it was always that feeling of security and stability, the comfort that Percy's arms always gave him. For those things were hard to emulate; if only he could have found this somewhere else, Nico wouldn't have felt so controlled and conditioned to do those things that Percy criticized so much, even though Percy had never asked for them. In the end, he understood what Percy was trying to imply; things would only get worse from now on, and they would probably continue this game of cat and mouse for a long time until he gave in. What could Nico do if Percy was the only one who made him feel this way, so free and trapped at the same time?

"Nico." Now Percy's voice sounded all hoarse and firm.

Opps. He looked down and saw that his hand was in Percy's lap, on top of the towel, but in a very strategic place.

"Why can't you tell me what's bothering you?”

He denied it, not ready to say what he really thought to Percy. Although he knew Percy felt something similar or worse. Nico had seen how much Percy had tried to get over him with other people, before and after he went to Italy. So, deep down, arguing was pointless. They needed a consensus.

"This will lead to nothing. I suggest a truce." Nico said, instead of explaining himself.

"Truce? This is not a war.”

"So why all we do is fight and have sex? I'd much rather just have sex.”

This brought a little smile to the corner of Percy's lips.

"What do you suggest?”

"l will... trust you and do whatever you ask if you stop questioning me.”

Now, Percy just looked sad.

"I don't want you to feel bad and cornered. I just worry. I want you to be the best possible version of yourself.”

"What if I just want to be the Nico who wants to be with Percy and not have to argue?”

"That's fine. We can do it your way. You have to promise me that if it's not working, you'll tell me.”

"I promise.”

All Nico could do was hope for the best and try to keep his end of the bargain.

***

When they woke up again, the sun was high in the sky, the morning already giving way to afternoon at a milder temperature. They were still in bed, his head on Percy's shoulder and Percy's arms around his waist. Finally, the silence was lasting more than five minutes. They didn't need to do anything or be anywhere other than there, where they had chosen to be.

"Hungry?" Nico heard Percy say quietly, his voice hoarse with sleep.

"No.”

"Not at all? Sally will come here soon, to see if we're still alive.”

That would be funny. Nico could even imagine Sally opening the door and catching them in bed like that, naked and hugging. It would be great. 

With this thought haunting him, Nico disentangled himself from Percy and sat down on the bed, feeling slightly dizzy but content, stretching until he fell backwards, closing his eyes. Maybe he needed something to eat. When was the last time? Had he even eaten anything at the party or just drunk?

"Tired?”

Nico sighed and gave in, knowing that his peace was about to end. He lay on his side of the bed and stared at Percy, who didn't look happy at all.

"Not much.”

"You know, I think we should create a system.”

"I think--”

"Every time you lie to me you will be punished.”

"You said you wouldn't doubt me!”

"It's not a doubt when I know the truth, when I see you lying to me.”

"What do you want me to do?”

"Tell the truth or say nothing at all.”

"Oh.”

"Are you going to spend the rest of your life keeping quiet to please me?”

That was a good question. It was hard to go back into the darkness when you could see so much light.

"This isn't funny." He muttered, feeling something inside his chest spread.

"Yeah. Imagine how I feel watching you lower yourself, being less than you could be.”

"I don't do it all the time.”

"No?”

"Only with you.”

Then Nico saw Percy reach out and touch his face in a light caress.

"I hate what I did to you, what your father did.” 

"You didn't do anything." His father, on the other hand, was a different story.

"I molded you into this perfect person who is afraid of offending anyone.” 

"That's not true! I…”

"I want you to scream if you want. I want you to hit me, to curse me if you feel like it. To revolt. Demand it. I never want to see you so hurt again.”

Maybe Percy was right. But did he really have to do these things? Wasn't something he could see himself doing.

"Don't get me wrong. You don't have to. But if you want to, or one day do these things, it's okay and completely normal”.

"Normal? How can doing these things be normal?”

"Gods." Percy hugged him tighter and leaned his head on Nico’s shoulder. "You don't have to be perfect. Do you understand that?”

But if he's not perfect, no one will like him. How could Nico not be what he already was?

"It's all right." Percy said, but Nico had the impression that Percy was saying this to himself.

In the end, Nico chose to keep quiet. What he had to say wouldn't make any difference, and maybe Percy was right. If he had nothing good to say, he'd better keep his mouth shut.

***

"Gods, what has Percy done to you?!”

As soon as they got downstairs, Sally greeted them with a loving smile and tight hugs. That is, that's what happened until Sally saw the bruise on Nico's neck; a bruise that was actually a well-placed hickey. 

"Mom, you're exaggerating.”

Nico, poor thing, looked between them, trying to understand what was going on. And Percy, like a good Samaritan, helped him to understand it. As if on cue, Percy put his hand on Nico's neck and Nico moaned. Whether it was pain, surprise or pleasure, was hard to tell. Whatever it was, it made his heart race and something else wake.

"Oh." Nico then said, bringing his hand up to his neck. "I didn't realize. It’s very ugly?”

"I wouldn't say that.”

He heard laughter behind him, but preferred to concentrate on Nico, who was frowning sweetly and taking his cell phone out of his pocket, looking at himself in the reflection of the screen.

"Percy! What were you trying to do? Tear off a piece?”

"You are not the only one." Percy opened the first two buttons of his shirt and showed his set of marks, small nails and the shape of teeth that went down until they disappeared inside his shirt.

"I... I didn't do this! Did I?”

"And much more.” 

Percy couldn't help himself, he laughed and pulled Nico into a hug, kissing his cheek. But everything seemed to be fine, because as soon as Percy hugged him, Nico melted against his shoulder, hugging him back.

"It's all right. You can bite me all you want, I like it. "And the way things were going, Nico liked it too.

Percy heard a snort and turned to look at Sally, who didn’t seem all that happy about the display of... affection.”

"Percy Jackson! That's not how you treat people.”

"It was something mutual. And if you must know, Nico started it. You can ask Annabeth, she was the first to see. See here? It was the first." And, right at the nape of his neck, where his hair was starting to grow long, there was a mark that was beginning to fade.

Nico hid his face in his shoulder and Sally crossed her arms. And before another wave of complaints arrived, Percy hurried over:

"Permission to maim?" Nico nodded yes, too embarrassed to face the room full of witnesses, which didn't stop the cursing, laughter and protests.

"That's enough." Sally raised one of her hands to her face and turned to Nico, making him raise his face. "Are you all right, darling? How was the party? Better than old times, no?”

Immediately, Percy knew something was wrong. Suddenly, Nico opened his mouth, about to say something and then closed it, cowering against his arms. The worst part was seeing Nico raise his head and look at him, as if waiting for Percy's permission for something, keeping his lips sealed tightly. He heard another gasp and realized that everyone was waiting for Nico to answer. Grover, Tyson and Sally all found Nico's behavior strange.

All that was left for Percy to do was smile and lead Nico into the living room to sit with him on the sofa.

"What's going on, hm?”

But all Nico did was deny it and look down at his lap, refusing to face him. 

"Please.”

This made Nico look between his eyelashes at him and take a deep breath: "I thought about what you said last night.” 

"About not lying?”

"About keeping quiet.”

Something in Percy's chest tightened at that moment, and hoping it wasn't what he thought, he asked: "Why would you keep quiet?”

"You said that if I was going to lie, I should keep quiet, and since I have nothing important to say, I'll do as you say.”

Percy thought he had stopped breathing. 

He wasn't serious! Who would follow such a ridiculous order? He just wanted to make Nico respond in any way other than accepting everything without protest, he wanted to make him react and see what was going on. And instead, Nico decided to go along with it in the worst possible way?

"Baby, please. I was wrong. I just wanted you to react.”

"React how?”

"In any way you want." Percy then smiled, trying to encourage Nico. "Come on, you can shout at me. You can swear at me. I've done something very bad. I deserve punishment.”

"Punishment?" Nico tilted his head like a confused puppy and moved closer. He kissed him on the lips in a sweet, gentle kiss and touched his hair, smiling angelically. "That's it. Your punishment.”

Percy wanted to cry. Why did everything he said seem to come out backwards? Or maybe it was Nico doing the best he could.

"Are you punishing me or  comforting me?”

"If I choose the punishment, you have to accept it.”

Percy let himself go and hugged Nico tightly, hearing him sigh with pleasure.

"I don't deserve you. I just wanted you to feel free to express yourself. You've been kept quiet for so long that I'm afraid the same thing will happen now.”

"I know." Nico murmured softly, looking pleased.

"What you have to say is important, always will be.” 

"I thought that if I kept quiet I wouldn't have to measure my words.” 

"Don't make me cry.”

"You're so silly. "Nico finally said, the only sincere thing in all that. "I made that decision. I had all the freedom in the world, but at the end of the day, I still missed you and the way things were.” 

In the end, life was about decisions and consequences. He continued to hug Percy and understood, Percy was as lost as he was in all this confusion, he understood that it was a period of adaptation and soon everything would return to normal. Now, what that normal was, they both had no idea, since they had never had a common friendship. 

"I'm sorry." Nico said again. "I think it's a period of adjustment. I'll try not to take everything you say so seriously.”

"I'm very happy about that." The truth was that Percy was relieved, thanking all the gods and deities for finding someone so understanding, although he would have liked Nico to be more combative. 

Don't get him wrong, Nico was one of the most independent and responsible people he had ever met, but what Nico had in the way of independence, he also had in the way of emotional dependence. And sometimes that emotional dependence was too heavy for him to carry alone, although he was willing to carry it for the rest of his life if it guaranteed that Nico would stay in his life.

"So, are we okay?" Nico asked, raising his head and peeking at him shyly.

"Of course, baby. As long as you are.”

Nico seemed immediately reassured. And if that’s what Nico wanted, Percy would do his best to sort things out. Obviously, asking hadn't worked it, nor had talking or pressuring. The way would be to do things the traditional way. Not that he knew what he was doing in the past, but if it’d worked before, it would work now.

Smiling, like nothing had happened, he guided Nico back to the kitchen and sat down next to him at the table, discovering too late that everyone had overheard his conversation with Nico. What could he do? Nico's well-being was more important than the disapproving looks. He knew he would soon see the reprimand, and if making a mistake was necessary to put right what he had done, then so be it! Percy would never regret putting Nico first.

"Pancakes or eggs?”

"Pancakes." Nico answered him. So pancakes it was. 

This was nothing new. Nico's favorite foods were sweet, and the savory ones had a nostalgic feeling, from the time when Nico's mother was still alive. So, next to the pancakes and the chocolate topping, Percy placed a cheese croissant in Nico’s plate, along with a glass of juice and a cup of coffee.

It was incredible. It seemed as if nothing bad had happened ten minutes ago. Nico took the first gulp from his coffee cup and smiled like it was the happiest day of his life, diving into his sugary pancakes next. And just like that, as if by magic, the atmosphere was friendly again, Nico chatting animatedly with Sally, while he, Grover and Tyson watched, trembling for the next feast they would be forced to attend.

"Dude, thanks for letting me stay. My mom's back.”

"You can stay as long as you like, it's your house. Why don't you pack a bag and stay until graduation? It won't be long now.

"If a whole year isn't too much..." Both he and Grover shrugged and Grover punched his shoulder amiably, making them both smile. It was a good idea, especially when he and Nico left; his mother would be alone and Grover would always be a great company.

"Really! What are you still doing in that house?”

"Yeah! There'll always be a room for you." Tyson finally deigned to join in the conversation, usually preferring to stay away from the drama. "You already work for us, what does it takes to be part of the family?”

"Do you think working is smiling at customers and taking them to the right table when others can't?”

"Of course it is. You even wear a nice suit and comb your hair with gel." Tyson continued, all too happy to mock Grover, back to their natural routine.

"Shut up! That's not even a uniform. Juniper likes it..." Grover's last words sounded very low, as if he was embarrassed.

And well, who was Percy to interrupt such a sweet and happy moment?

He turned to his food and took the first bite of his eggs, soft and lightly salted, just the way he liked them, and took a sip of his strong coffee without sugar or milk, noticing that Nico had already finished eating and was looking at him with a little smile on his face.

"What is it, hm? Do you want more?”

"No. I like to see you happy and having fun with your friends. You didn't used to do that.”

"It's true. I told you I had problems, didn't I?”

"I didn’t take it seriously. You always seem so determined and confident.”

"That doesn't mean I was right.”

"Hm." Nico murmured, thoughtfully. "I never thought about it from that angle. I think everyone has something to hide. Some people just hide it better.”

"That's just it. The more things we hide, the better actors we are, no?" Percy couldn't help himself, Nico was being so sincere that he deserved a reward. He pulled Nico by the scruff of his neck and kissed him right there in front of everyone, a kiss meant for four walls.

"What was that?" Nico said as soon as he caught his breath.

"A reward for an obedient baby.”

Blushing from head to toe, Nico just looked at him, giving him a cute little peck, but not complaining. What could he do? If that was how Nico understood it, then that was how it would be from now on.

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So? I have the impression that Nico is becoming so dramatic… or is it Percy's view of him? Well, I think Nico thinks Percy is a bit dramatic too 🤣🤣🤣🤣 What's your opinion? Your comments help me to understand the weak points in the story so that I can rewrite it in the best way in the future.

Thanks for reading!

if you only want to write smutty drabbles, write smutty drabbles. if you don't want to write smut at all, don't write smut. if you want to write tropes that have been written 85838593929 times, write them. if you've already written a specific trope and want to write it again, do it. if you want to write for a character but feel like there's no demand for that character, do it anyway. don't feel pressured to reach a certain word count, don't feel pressured to stick to a posting schedule. you're literally doing this for FREE, in your free time. whatever YOU want your writing/fanfiction experience to be is valid - it doesn't have to be like everyone else's, and you don't have to cater to what you think people want 🫶🏻

Nico and Percy

Okay so I’ve received a lot of asks about Nico and Percy and how Percy treated Nico and someone else sent me a link to a post that had more stuff.

90% of the stuff I’ve seen is either inaccurate or taken out of context.

Lets start with the choking scene.

This scene happened right after Nico lied to Percy to trick him into coming to see Hades so that Nico could learn more about his mom. They were meant to go to the Styx in order to give Percy the Achilles Curse so they had a chance at winning the war. This resulted in Percy being locked up by Hades.

Nico did not intend for this to happen, but he did knowingly lie to Percy. Percy understandably did not trust Nico after that.

The mountain of darkness loomed above me. A foot the size of Yankee Stadium was about to smash me when a voice hissed: ‘Percy!’

I lunged out blindly. Before I was fully awake, I had Nico pinned to the floor of the cell with the edge of my sword at his throat.

‘Want – to – rescue,’ he choked.

Anger woke me up fast. ‘Oh, yeah? And why should I trust you?’

‘No – choice?’ he gagged.

I wished he hadn’t said something logical like that. I let him go. (The Last Olympian page 60).

As you can see, the initial action was taken before Percy was even awake. After he was awake, and got through his initial anger at the betrayal with Nico’s comment, he released Nico and they escaped.

He acknowledged silently later that he didn’t trust Nico anymore and Nico was aware that his actions meant he wasn’t trusted.

So the choking scene: not Percy being unreasonably cruel to Nico.

Threats is another common thing I see people bring up and… I’m genuinely baffled by that one. The closest I can think of is the scene I quoted above? But that doesn’t seem to fit? Anyone want to quote some threats Percy made to Nico? Because I don’t know any.

Next up! The claims that Percy said they should leave Nico to suffocate. Funnily enough he actually says the opposite, multiple times.

Percy stared at his jelly donut. He had a rocky history with Nico di Angelo. The guy had once tricked him into visiting Hades’s palace, and Percy had ended up in a cell. But most of the time, Nico sided with the good guys. He certainly didn’t deserve slow suffocation in a bronze jar, and Percy couldn’t stand seeing Hazel in pain.

“We’ll rescue him,” he promised her. “We have to. The prophecy says he holds the key to endless death.”

Is this first time kind? Not necessarily. But it’s certainly not saying to leave Nico. For multiple reasons, he didn’t deserve, Percy didn’t want Hazel to hurt, and (what he says outloud) Nico is an important figure in the war.

Percy also makes a comment later when they feared they’d be too late

The vision zoomed in again. Inside the jar, Nico di Angelo was curled in a ball, no longer moving, all the pomegranate seeds eaten.

“We’re too late,” Jason said.

“No,” Percy said. “No, I can’t believe that. Maybe he’s gone into a deeper trance to buy time. We have to hurry.”

Funny, this doesn’t sound like someone advocating to leave Nico to die. In fact it sounds like someone almost desperate to save him, or at least hoping strongly that they’ll succeed.

Interestingly there were comments about leaving Nico, but not from Percy. They came from Jason and Leo.

“Uh…” Leo shifted in his chair. “One thing. The giants are expecting us to do this, right? So we’re walking into a trap?”

Hazel looked at Leo like he’d made a rude gesture. “We have no choice!”

“Don’t get me wrong, Hazel. It’s just that your brother, Nico… he knew about bothcamps, right?”

“Well, yes,” Hazel said.

“He’s been going back and forth,” Leo said, “and he didn’t tell either side.” Jason sat forward, his expression grim. “You’re wondering if we can trust the guy. So am I.”

Hazel shot to her feet. “I don’t believe this. He’s my brother. He brought me back from the Underworld, and you don’t want to help him?”

Frank put his hand on her shoulder. “Nobody’s saying that.” He glared at Leo. “Nobody had better be saying that.”

Leo blinked. “Look, guys. All I mean is—”

“Hazel,” Jason said. “Leo is raising a fair point. I remember Nico from Camp Jupiter. Now I find out he also visited Camp Half-Blood. That does strike me as… well, a little shady. Do we really know where his loyalties lie? We just have to be careful.” (Mark of Athena page 125)

How interesting that they’re the ones making comments about leaving Nico…

Next of course I’ve heard the wonder bread brought up? And I had to key word search wonder bread in the books to figure out what that was about and it appears to be a single thought Percy had while they were trying to rescue Nico.

Nico started to crawl away, groaning. Percy wanted him to move faster and to groan less. He considered throwing his Wonder bread at him. (Mark of Athena page 357)

Percy did not actually throw the bread for anyone wondering, and I hardly see how the panicking thought of trying to get them all out of there and keep Nico from being noticed by the people he was escaping from is even something for you to hold against him.

Finally the thing I hear the most, Percy calling Nico creepy and spreading rumors.

Creepy is used in MoA 5 times, in HoH 2 times, and BoO 8 times.

In MoA it’s used by Percy once, and that time is describing Persephone’s garden, not Nico. This comment is also only made in his thoughts, not outloud.

Funnily enough Leo does mentally refer to Nico as creepy in MoA

Nico and Hazel shared a look, maybe comparing notes on their Hades/Pluto death radar. Leo shivered. Hazel had never seemed like a child of the Underworld to him, but Nico di Angelo—that guy was creepy. (Mark of Athena page 396)

In HoH it is used once by Jason in regards to Nico, not at all by Percy.

Nico gave him a thin, creepy smile. ‘Ah … that legend.’ (House of Hades page 164)

In BoO it’s actually used by Nico about himself.

By now, Will Solace realized just how creepy and revolting Nico di Angelo was. Of course, Nico didn’t care what he thought. But still …  (Blood of Olympus page 317)

And once by Reyna about Nico

Reyna had stitched up the gashes on his biceps, which gave Nico a slightly creepy Frankenstein look, but the cuts were still swollen and red. (Blood of Olympus page 140)

So uh, no Percy did not call Nico creepy. And I have found no evidence of Percy spreading rumors so like with the threats, feel free to find me quotes proving that claim.

Concluding all of this I will point out that prior to book 5 (TLO) Percy was doing everything in his power to find Nico and protect him. After book 5 Percy only had one physical altercation with him (when he was half asleep and right after the betrayal occurred) and otherwise did not hold it against him beyond having his trust broken. As time went on we know from Percy’s thoughts that he doesn’t trust Nico, but he makes no comments saying such and agrees to help rescue him and does everything he can to do so.

Their conflicts are understandable due to their history. Percy’s feelings on Nico are complicated but understandable and he has not let it interfere with their jobs, if anything it interfered in a negative way making them risk the quest to save Nico (though Nico was a key figure needed to succeed in the end).

Overall I don’t know where these claims come from beyond people wanting to find issues with Percy (to the point they make stuff up).

comments on fanfics

I thought about writing this post for a long time and decided, fuck it, I'm gonna write this.

All over my dash I see people being disappointed because nobody is leaving comments on ao3 anymore/rebloging things on tumblr.

And the only thing I can think about this is: it's so true.

Two weeks ago I posted the epilog of my 60k words fanfic (I've been writing on it for almost a year and got some positive feedback on it) and I got ZERO comments, or kudos on the epilog.

I can see that people kicked on it, but I have no idea whether they liked it or not. (And I used to get a comment on my story now and then)

Last week I posted the first extra chapter (I planned three of these) and also got no reaction.

No I'm just sitting here, wondering if my writing is just true shit.

This is also the reason I was hesitate to post this. Maybe it's not the people and just that shithole of a story I've been writing.

Things like are just running around my head now and must say that the motivation to even finish those extra chapters is gone.

GUYS, IF YOU LIKE A FANFIC PLEASE LET THE AUTHOR KNOW, IT MEANS SO MUCH TO THEM.

So if you read a good story, not some bullshit like mine, write that comment.

NÃO HÁ LUGAR COMO O LAR - PERCY/NICO AU COLEGIAL - CAPÍTULO XXIX

Oii, como vai? Mais um capítulo!

Eu já disse por aqui que o Percy não é uma pessoa tão boa assim? Pois é, o Nico também não. Mantenham isso em mente para os capítulos futuros.

Sem nenhuma revisão.

Boa leitura!

Capítulos anteriores: CAPÍTULO I / CAPÍTULO II / CAPÍTULO III / CAPÍTULO IV / CAPÍTULO V / CAPÍTULO VI / CAPÍTULO VII / CAPÍTULO VIII / CAPÍTULO IX / CAPÍTULO X / CAPÍTULO XI / CAPÍTULO XII / CAPÍTULO XIII / CAPÍTULO XIV / CAPÍTULO XV / CAPÍTULO XVI / CAPÍTULO XVII / CAPÍTULO XVIII / CAPÍTULO XIX / CAPÍTULO XX / CAPÍTULO XXI / CAPÍTULO XXII / CAPÍTULO XXIII / CAPÍTULO XXIV / CAPÍTULO XXV / CAPÍTULO XXVI / CAPÍTULO XXVII /CAPÍTULO XXVIII

— Depois. Eu prometo. — Percy disse, se afastando a lentos passos em direção a porta. — Não se divirta muito sem mim.

Nico não pretendia. Desde que tinha voltado da Itália raramente se divertia se Percy não estivesse por perto. Os amigos que ainda tinha por ali insistiam em dizer como Percy era o pior dos vilões e os que não diziam nada, se mantinham distantes, hesitantes e medrosos apenas com o pensamento do que Percy poderia fazer com eles.

Não era ridículo? Nico tão pouco estava interessado neles. Ele admitia sentia falta de seus amigos em Veneza, sua família, o sol escaldante, as construções centenárias e o ar limpo. Mas ele sentiria muito mais a falta de Percy, e se ficar longe de cidade natal fosse necessário, era o que faria.

A porta finalmente se fechou as suas costas, permitindo que ele voltasse a olhar para seu reflexo no espelho. Isso era outra coisa que admitia, gostava de ver aquela coleira em volta de seu pescoço; Nico podia se ver no futuro a usando sem pudor. Via ele e Percy numa grande casa no campo, o sol batendo em sua pele enquanto ele se ajoelhava, descansando a cabeça no colo de Percy, os dedos longos o acariciando como se ele fosse um animalzinho de colo. Ser um submisso não era o que ele tinha imaginado, a dor era passageira, mal se registrando em seu cérebro, e o prazer durava horas, dias se ele se permitisse. Era estranho, e as vezes, parecia errado se colocar nessas situações, deixar ser usado como Percy bem entendesse. Os olhares de pena era o que realmente o incomodava, como se a qualquer instante seus “amigos” se ofereceriam para ajudá-lo. Belos amigos esses que quando ele mais precisou, pouco ofereceram um mínimo de conforto.

Esse era o único motivo dele ter voltado, além dos ciúmes que o corroeu ao ver Annabeth e Percy tão juntos nas redes sociais. Nico não precisava passar por toda essa tortura mais uma vez, ver Annabeth pelos corredores ou as mesmas pessoas que tentaram abusar dele mais de seis anos atras. O que restava a Nico era respirar fundo e superar seu trauma, ou melhor, ignorá-los até que eles não tivessem importância. Porque, isso aqui, a coleira em volta de seu pescoço era a prova que no fim tudo valeria a pena. De alguma forma, o peso que alguns dias atras o sufocava, agora o mantinha preso na realidade; era uma promessa, um juramento que no fim tudo daria certo se ele aguentasse mais um pouco, só mais um pouco, e, então, ele poderia se libertar de tudo o que o puxava para baixo.

Bem, no fim, Percy tinha razão. Era melhor ele descansar um pouco, sair no estado em que estava apenas geraria mais preocupação e conselhos que ele não havia pedido. Se sentindo exausto, Nico ignorou o telefone que apitava, indicando que uma nova mensagem havia chegado, e se deixou cair na cama. Se arrastou até seu travesseiro, se cobriu com o edredom e fechou os olhos. Dez minutos bastariam. Talvez trinta.

***

Quando Percy voltou para casa foi direito para seu quarto, onde sabia que Nico estaria. Ele podia incentivar Nico a sair com os amigos, se divertir e ser independente, mas no fundo, gostava das coisas do jeito que elas eram; Nico sempre em casa, sempre esperando por ele feito um garoto bem-corportado deveria. E mesmo sabendo que Nico estaria na cama, ignorando mais uma vez os amigos, Percy subiu as escadas de dois em dois degraus e empurrou a porta lentamente. Como ele imaginava, lá estava seu bebê, coberto com o edredom até a cintura, dormindo pacificamente, feito um anjinho, o seu anjinho, sempre muito obediente.

Ao invés de entrar e trocar de roupa, Percy voltou a encostar a porta, deixando que Nico dormisse por mais alguns minutos. Desceu as escadas e entrou na cozinha, encontrando mãe por lá, a ajudando a guardar a cesta de legumes que haviam ganhado do fornecedor.

— Onde está Nico? Estou louca para testar aquele guisado.

— Ele está dormindo.

Esse era o momento em que Percy esperava que as reclamações chegassem, mas elas nunca chegaram.

Sally se virou para ele, andou em sua direção, e segurou em seus ombros, sorrindo docemente.

— Estou tão orgulhosa. Nico tem estado bem menos cansado e feliz. — Então, Sally endireitou a coluna e colocou as mãos na própria cintura. — Ainda não gosto de ver vocês fazendo essas coisas por trás das minhas costas, mas até funcionando.

— Por isso que você não pega mais no meu pé?

— Você está fazendo um bom trabalho. Continue fazendo isso, hm? Assim eu não vou precisar.

— Ei! Quem é seu filho aqui?

— Querido, eu te conheço. — Sally sorriu mais uma vez e deu as costas para ele, terminando de guardar os legumes, pegando outras coisas como começar o guisado.

Percy apenas sorri, dando de ombros. A verdade é que ele não estava fazendo nada demais. Era Nico quem ela deveria elogiar. De fato, Percy sentia que não estava fazendo nada de especial e que talvez eles fizessem bem um para o outro. Bem, Percy planejava fazer isso mesmo que Nico nunca mais quisesse ter sexo com ele. 

***

Quando Nico acorda o céu ainda está claro, o sol brilhando mais forte com o calor do meio-dia. Porém, o sentimento de desespero havia sumido e em seu lugar, o contentamento surgiu. Ele não abriu os olhos imediatamente, sentindo o calor aquecer seu rosto e dedos gentis percorrerem seu coro cabeludo, o fazendo suspirar.

Era Percy que o acordava. Nico reconheceria aquele perfume em qualquer lugar, a forma que Percy o tocava, a voz aveludada chamando por seu nome, o fazendo sentir ainda estar dormindo, sonhando com a casa de sua nona, onde ele e Percy estavam nas plantações de morangos, andando calmamente pelas longas fileiras de frutos, o sol batendo em seu rosto.

— Está se sentindo melhor?

Nico mal podia lembrar porque tinha estado tão triste. Então, apenas acenou. Saiu debaixo das cobertas e se engatinhou até alcançar Percy que estava sentado na cama. Sentou no colo de Percy e o envolveu com as pernas para logo em seguida abraça-lo pele pescoço, o beijando devagar, selando seus lábios juntos suavemente.

— Hmm... meu bebê quer brincar?

— Não sei.

— Você ainda está usando a coleira.

— Oh.

Era verdade, Nico não tinha percebido. No final das contas, ela nem era tão pesada assim. Embora não parecesse certo estar a usando nesse momento.

— Tira pra mim?

Ali estava, a decepção no rosto de Percy. Ele tentou esconder, é claro, por trás de um sorriso inocente. Como de costume, ignorar certas coisas até que o momento certo chegasse, sempre era o melhor a se fazer.

Sem pressa, Percy segurou em seu pescoço, e desafivelou o fecho, percorrendo os dedos por sua pele, parecendo se despedir do couro e dando boas-vindas a pele agora descoberta, colocando um beijinho entre a gargantilha que estava por debaixo da coleira e o vão entre sua clavícula.

— Tão lindo. Mal posso esperar para te ver num terno branco. Você vai usar a coleira pra mim? Vai colocar algo bonito por debaixo, hm?

Nico sentiu seu rosto esquentar imediatamente, sabendo que Percy o encarava bem de perto. Ele não tinha pensado sobre isso. Esse seria o momento onde eles verdadeiramente se tornariam submisso e dominador? Onde ele se ajoelharia aos pés de Percy e permaneceria dessa forma pelo resto de suas vidas? Nico sabia que tecnicamente nada mudaria, mas, então, por que parecia que eles estavam prestes a dar um grande passo na relação deles?

Ele teve que levantar a cabeça e encarar Percy como raramente fazia, vendo os olhos verdes brilhando com algo que Nico preferia não examinar profundamente, o sorriso ainda encaixado nos lábios bonitos, mostrando dentes brancos e perfeitos. O que fez Nico se perguntar, será que ele sabia no que estava se metendo?

— É isso o que vai acontecer quando a gente se casar? Eu pensei que era apenas uma fantasia.

— Pode ser o que a gente quiser.

Mas tudo o que Nico podia ouvir era “Vai ser o que eu quiser que seja”. E, estranhamente, esse pensamento não o assustou; não era como ele fosse se tornar um escravo sexual e ser jogado numa masmorra escura onde o sol nunca pudesse alcançá-lo.

— E se eu não quiser? — Nico enfim perguntou, tirando aquilo do peito.

Nico observou Percy continuar a olhar para ele, como se Percy não tivesse nenhuma dúvida no mundo, vendo um sorriso muito mais sincero aparecer.

— Então, a gente não faz.

— Certo.

— Mas... você não tem curiosidade para saber como seria?

— Não tenho certeza.

Nico desviou o olhar, fingindo pensar sobre o assunto. Era claro que ele tinha curiosidade. Quando ele pensava que Percy não podia o surpreender mais, uma nova avalanche de emoções o pegava desprevenido. Sentia que passaria o resto da vida sendo surpreendido, se afogando em um mar de prazer ao lado de Percy.

— Hm. — Foi tudo o que Percy disse antes de se levantar e levar a coleira com ele. Percy anda até o guarda roupa, leva a caixa preta junto e a guarda lá dentro, fechando o armário com um movimento final. — Parece que a brincadeira vai ter que ficar para outro momento.

De qualquer forma, assim era melhor. Desse jeito ninguém cairia na tentação de fazer algo além do que ambos estavam dispostos a enfrentar.

***

Percy se sentia estranhamente leve e despreocupado naquela manhã. Como era de costume, estavam todos sentados á mesa para tomar o café da manhã. Ele e Nico entraram na cozinha de mãos dadas e se sentaram em silêncio, um do lado do outro, se movendo e sincronia, ouvindo Grover e Tyson discutirem sobre algo sem importância, enquanto Sally tentava fazê-los se comportarem. O bom de viver no meio do caos era que seus pratos já estavam na mesa com um copo de suco e outro de café para cada um deles.

Ele admitia que não estava prestando atenção no que eles falavam, pois, agora, entendia porque Nico gostava tanto de ficar perdido no próprio mundinho. Não o entendam errado, Percy amava sua família, faria qualquer coisa por eles num estalar de dedos, mas, as vezes, tudo o que ele queria era um momento paz e silencio; mal podia esperar para se casar com Nico e ter um lugar só para eles.

— Per? Você não vai comer?

— Hoje não. — Respondeu sem prestar atenção, voltando a segurar na mão de Nico. Isso o fez olhar para seu bebê que o encarava com curiosidade, um sorriso discreto nos lábios, seus olhos brilhando com diversão. — Tudo bem.

Percy se espreguiçou, tomou um gole de seu café e pegou um croissant: — Satisfeito?

Ele não esperou pela resposta de Nico. Ajudou Nico a descer da cadeira, o puxou para fora da cozinha, e foi atras de suas bolças as encontrando onde Percy as havia deixado; na entrada da porta da frente, junto com a bolsa de sua mãe e as chaves dos carros. A viagem de carro até o colégio foi mais silenciosa e calma ainda, o fazendo sentir que hoje nada poderia perturbá-lo. O que mais Percy poderia querer naquele mundo além da companhia de Nico? Um beijo de bom dia? A mão de Nico sob a sua? A certeza de um futuro juntos? Percy já tinha tudo isso. Então, por mais que houvesse obstáculos, não havia motivo para preocupações.

Foi assim que Percy saiu do carro e abriu a porta para Nico, envolvendo sua cintura. Eles entraram no colégio e ignoraram os olhares, Percy se concentrando em Nico, vendo o rosto de seu bebê esquentar quanto mais ele olhava.

— O que deu em você hoje? — Nico enfim disse, permitindo a Percy ouvir sua voz pela primeira vez naquele dia. Uma voz baixa e rouca ainda do sono, acariciando seus sentidos.

Percy não diz nada, apenas leva sua mão ao rosto de Nico e fez um carinho ali, vendo os olhos de Nico se fecharem em prazer, vendo o sorriso de Nico voltar com tudo, quase o cegando, contente. Então, Nico inclina a cabeça em direção a Percy e seus lábios se encontram, mas é apenas isso, um selinho, um gesto de afeto. Os olhos de Nico voltam a se abrir e assim eles ficam, parados no meio do corredor, abraçados, como se somente eles existissem.

Percy sentia como se estivessem conversando através desses olhares e sorrisos. O melhor era que ele entendia cada palavra. 

— Você é um bobo. — Nico diz. Percy concorda.

Mas, então, eles ouvem o sinal tocar. Era hora de voltar a realidade. Percy e Nico são obrigados a voltar a andar, seguindo em direção a seus armários, na verdade, em direção ao armário de Percy por seu o maior entre ambos; Nico tinha deixado de usar o seu há anos atras, mesmo antes de ir para a Itália. A maioria de suas aulas eram as mesmas, então, eles dividiam os livros, os professores há tempo tinham desistido de separá-los. De fato, suas notas estavam tão boas que os professores não tinham motivos para separá-los; e Percy tinha certeza, nunca esteve tão pronto em sua vida. Era a influência de Nico, o fazendo estudar sem nem perceber. 

Infelizmente, chegando lá, sua bolha de contentamento foi quebrada.

— Ora, ora. Vejam quem temos aqui? O casal de ouro?

Percy bufou, prestes a dar meia volta e aparecer na aula sem seus livros, quando Nico segurou em seu braço. Com apenas um olha de Nico ele entendeu tudo. Certo. Eles iriam pegar seus livros e cadernos, e iria para aula, como o esperado. Percy tomou a frente. Andou o resto da distância até o armário quatorze, pegou o que tinha que pegar e o fechou, batendo a porta com força que o necessário.

— Hmm... parece que alguém está tenso. Eu conheço uma forma de te relaxar. Porque a gente não se encontra mais tarde?

Isso era demais para Percy. Ele levantou a cabeça e encarou aqueles olhos cinzas e frios, respirou fundo e abriu a boca quando sentiu mãos gentis segurarem em seu braço. Nico o encarava de bem perto, seus olhos negros furiosos o dizendo mais do que suas palavras poderiam. Annabeth não merecia nem mesmo seu nojo e desprezo. Ótimo, Percy faria o que Nico estava pedindo.

Percy não voltou a olhar para ela, decidindo por beijar o rosto de Nico, tentando acalmá-lo, e o abraçou pelos ombros o levando para longe. Logo Annabeth seria apenas a lembrança de uma garota invejosa e inconveniente.

Eles entraram em sua primeira aula do dia, colocaram seus cadernos e livros sob a mesa e se sentaram. Logo as provas começariam.

Ahhh finalmente estamos chegando no fim! Espero que vocês estejam gostando. Comentários são sempre bem-vindos. Até a próxima. Provavelmente ainda essa semana.

How to show emotions

Part IV

How to show bitterness

tightness around their eyes

pinched mouth

sour expression on their face

crossed arms

snorting angrily

turning their eyes upward

shaking their head

How to show hysteria

fast breathing

chest heaving

trembling of their hands

weak knees, giving in

tears flowing down their face uncontrollably

laughing while crying

not being able to stand still

How to show awe

tension leaving their body

shoulders dropping

standing still

opening mouth

slack jaw

not being able to speak correctly

slowed down breathing

wide eyes open

softening their gaze

staring unabashingly

How to show shame

vacant stare

looking down

turning their head away

cannot look at another person

putting their head into their hands

shaking their head

How to show being flustered

blushing

looking down

nervous smile

sharp intake of breath

quickening of breath

blinking rapidly

breaking eye contact

trying to busy their hands

playing with their hair

fidgeting with their fingers

opening mouth without speaking

Part I + Part II + Part III

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thinking about Nico starting to grow a beard before Jason and not caring about having to shave until Jason offers to do it for him, and then ofc Jason buys a whole kit with many razor blades, shaving foam, aftershave and more things like that that Jason doesn't even know what they're for. Anyway, the image of Nico sitting on the closed toilet and paralyzed while Jason fills his face with the foam and shaves him very serious and focused, and nico can't stop staring at him... this is doing something to me ok??