Yes Belphie Get That Sizzurp We Are Getting TRASHED

So I have this headcanon.

Whenever I read a fanfic that says “MC” instead of being written in the first or second person, I do not picture my MC. I picture Dolly Parton.

1) Because I am pretty sure she is a literal angel.

2) Because she would have those demon boys eating out of the palm of her hand in thirty seconds flat.

Dolly X Diavolo OTP

I assume they are talking about the Vesper necklace from Crave, which vibrates (although I don’t know how well it functions as an actual vibrator):

However, I think it also looks a lot like this necklace which I happen to own and can confirm does not operate as a sex toy:

Geometric jewelry like that was very on trend a couple years ago, so I’ve got a couple things like that. Not sure why you wouldn’t be able to find other examples (answer: the vibrator necklace is funnier).

BiTcH wHaT

If Elliot Page isn’t Sexiest Man Alive 2021 I will cut a bitch.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Y’all I got two hearings to cover in court tomorrow, and I am going to be so goddamn hungover and tired and angry I might take a shit in front of the judge and start screaming like a chimpanzee

F in the chat for me please

2020 for me has just been “am I stressed because of a global pandemic and an increasingly fascist far-right government, or am I just struggling to exist under capitalism” and I’m really getting tired of it

Y’all like pickle chicken? I’ll give y’all pickle chicken. AutomaticTastemakerTheorist’s homemade Nashville hot chicken:

You’ll need a pound of chicken (I buy the tenderloins, but breast works too, just cut it into strips). Marinate in pickle juice and a dash of hot sauce for a couple hours.

Make your dunkin’ juice: 2 cups buttermilk, 3 eggs, pickle juice to taste (start with a couple tbsp), Crystal hot sauce to taste (I use like half a bottle, because I like it hot), and a pinch of salt and pepper.

Dunk your chicken like its name is Lebowski and it owes you money. Roll it in flour. Dunk it again. Roll in flour again. Let it sit for about 15 minutes.

Fry it up - I use an air fryer, but vegetable oil on the stove works too.

Make your sauce: 6 tbsp cayenne pepper, 2 tbsp brown sugar, 1 tsp garlic salt, 1 tsp chili powder, 1 tsp paprika, mixed up in about half a cup of olive oil.

Toss the fried chicken in the sauce. Serve on Wonderbread with pickle slices. 

Use your leftover dunkin’ juice and flour to fry up some sliced okra. Your tastebuds will thank you. Your arteries, not so much.

Yes, Chick-fil-A’s Foundation Still Donates to Anti-LGBTQ Causes

Plus, Utah’s pickle-based dessert, and other news to start your day

Memo To The Media: Chick-fil-A Condemns, Discriminates, And Campaigns Against LGBT People

https://thinkprogress.org/memo-to-the-media-chick-fil-a-condemns-discriminates-and-campaigns-against-lgbt-people-3e2dbb7b8056/

Fuck them for sure.

Me listening to Lucifer going “hmm hmm hmm”

Sorry Diavolo, I’m gonna be your stepmom. Go clean your room, Daddy and I need to have a grownup conversation.

Some Self-Indulgent Young Demon King Doodle~ 

Y’all I got this card and y’all

I’m simping Barbatos.

When he’s your surprise guest and he’s so --- UGH I HAVE DIED FROM UWU

THEY DID NOT JUST PUT GLASSES ON BARBATOS

In the immortal words of Queen Bey:

And in the immortal words of JoJo:

LEAVE

GET OUT

TBH you’re much better off dating Lucifer than a lawyer. We’re all kinds of messed up and we don’t have the excuse that we have to punish Mammon all the time.

i-

how this year’s review makin me feel