Modest Proposal: We Let The Billionaires Keep Their Obscene Tax Cuts, But In Exchange We Guillotine One

TBH you’re much better off dating Lucifer than a lawyer. We’re all kinds of messed up and we don’t have the excuse that we have to punish Mammon all the time.

i-

how this year’s review makin me feel

When my sister and I turned out to only date atheists/Jewish people, and my dad found my social media full of atheist memes, he gave us a long lecture about how “we look down on good God-fearing people” and we are what’s wrong with this country. Pretty sure if he knew I was into fictional demons, by now he’d just shrug and accept that he has failed as a good Christian parent. LMAO.

FR though, it gets better. They learn to accept you, possibly by just avoiding the topic of religion (fine by me), or they don’t, in which case you can set your own boundaries and create your own support system. I’m always around to lend an ear for the budding atheist in the midst of southern-Christian-America. :)

Damn, I feel you. My family is very religious and spiritual and if they found out that I even played obey me and that I've fell in love with almost all of the Demon brothers in the game and Diavolo then my Mom would call my uncle and have him rebaptize lol. And she'll give me a lecture about how wrong it is even though it's just a game :/

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL FOR US WIFBSHS I feel like my mom wants to send me to a convent now 😭😭 wait till they find out im an athiest

Look I'm not saying Ayme Miura is now my favorite person in world all I'm saying is that he is so. damn. close

Nah, it’s cool, in the year 2021 he’s an upper middle class white guy named Seightynn.

real subtle, guys

Draw! The! Boys! As! Rats!

That is all, plzkthx.

What if Mammon had an albino rat?

I had a name for the rat, but then I realized it was sort of racist-

*cranks that Carrie Underwood*

TWO BLACK CADILLACS

DRIVING IN A SLOW PARADE

YEAH THEY TOOK TURNS THROWING A ROSE DOWN

THREW A HANDFUL OF DIRT INTO THE COLD GROUND

HE’S NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD A SECRET TO HIIIIIIIIIDE

exuding severe "my husband has died under suspicious circumstances and now, i, the poor grieving widow, have to attend his funeral" vibes

But most comedians are hopelessly depressed, so I’m already well-qualified!

As a child I really wanted to be a comedian, but then I realized you have to actually be funny

Aww thank you! I absolutely adore Portia! She’s got those pretty curves and all the hot goss - we could have so much trouble fun together. Now I have to go catch her latest chapter! 

Could I request an Arcana matchup pretty plz? I'm 5'2", a bi redhead lady, lawyer (former French major turned child abuse prosecutor), and whiskey-loving introvert. Most of my free time is devoted to reading nonfiction, caring for any animal I can bring home, learning new languages, and traveling (if my animals have a sitter). I lived in New Orleans and Rome so I know some good recipes to cook for my gf/bf. And I may or may not have been in a bar fight. You're the real mvp :D

I pair you with Portia!

 - Portia would be so impressed and inspired by your work as a lawyer. She cares about protecting those who are vulnerable, so knowing that her partner is actively fighting to make sure children are safe would make her trust and confide in you pretty quickly. 

 - Portia prefers fiction pretty often, but she also loves learning about history and real adventures from the past, so she’d love to read or watch things with you about those subjects. She can find something interesting in any subject though, so she’d be happy to learn more about some of the nonfiction topics you enjoy. She also loves animals and would love to give them a home if you both have enough room. 

 - She loves to cook and do domestic things with her partner, so the skill you have with cooking would lead the way to you both spending a lot of time with each other having fun in the kitchen. 

 - Portia is a sweet and caring person, but she can also go hard when she needs to. She’d definitely want to hear about your bar fight story. Though some would expect her to be a little taken aback, she’d have at least one story that’s similar to offer you in response. She’s a lot stronger than people think. 

So I have this headcanon.

Whenever I read a fanfic that says “MC” instead of being written in the first or second person, I do not picture my MC. I picture Dolly Parton.

1) Because I am pretty sure she is a literal angel.

2) Because she would have those demon boys eating out of the palm of her hand in thirty seconds flat.

Dolly X Diavolo OTP

I’m drinking and tired of politics, so let’s do this.

Nickname: I always go by Nikki, which is the short form of my middle name. My mother named me Whitney specifically so I wouldn’t get a nickname, but my dad decided that since he was Ricky, it would be cute to have a kid whose name rhymed with his.

Zodiac: Cancer, the crybaby bitch of the zodiac meme pages.

Height: 5′2″ but I refuse to leave the house without heels so TAKE THAT NATURE.

Hogwarts: Gryffindor forever.

Song stuck in my head: “Save Your Tears” - The Weeknd

Number of followers: Fuck if I know, my fragile ego won’t let me look.

Amount of sleep: Not more than 4 hours at a time, but I usually get two or so blocks of sleep so I guess it adds up.

Lucky number: I don’t know, I usually play 20 when I play roulette.

Dream job: Independently wealthy guinea pig trainer.

Wearing: My fluffy bathrobe I haven’t washed in several weeks so it smells like my dogs who use it as a bed when I’m out of the house (I’m sexy).

Favorite instrument: Played the piano as a kid, sucked ass at it, but still love a good Satie bop.

Aesthetic: Dark academia or bubble goth, depending on how drunk I am.

Favorite author: I usually read nonfiction, but I own basically the entire collection of Mary Roach’s books.

Favorite animal noise: When guinea pigs hear a bag crinkle and they go whee whee whee

Random: My past jobs have included tanning salon manager, sex ed teacher, math tutor, DMV clerk, and staff writer at a newspaper.

17 Questions 17 People

Tagged by: @emilycollins00 !! (>♡<)

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Nickname: I actually have, lots of them;;; my name is not much of a nicknamable one (Ray) but I have been called Mal (it was a typo but then it stuck lol), I am used to being called Kitten/Kitty and also I love when you guys give me nicknames in here such as Honeybee! Other nicknames include: demon, angel, beauty, mallow, bee, tiger, etc etc etc ^^;;

Zodiac: Leo ♌

Height: I haven't measured in years but since I'm quite taller than my mom and she is 1,57 meters and have been taller than some people at 1,60 meters, I supose I pass the 1,63+ meters line.

Hogwarts: everytime I do a quiz it gives me Gryffindor so that's that-

Song stuck in my head: Traumerei to Kuhaku

Number of followers: currently a bit over 1,600

Amount of sleep: I try to get 8 but then my body says

And I get 5 instead. I force myself to sleep 3 more hours or so but it's always with a bit of waking up from time to time.

Lucky number: 3

Dream job: I have no dream job, my full time wish is just to get enough money to spend on what I like and to my own happiness.

Wearing: the most used sweater I have that I refuse to give away no matter how old it is, pajama pants and one of my knee high striped socks.

Favorite instrument: Violin

Aesthetic: hmmm, I'm not really sure! Any aesthetic I use for something is used to match whatever mood I am trying to give or just something that looks good.

Favorite author: myself lol

Favorite animal noise: any bird noises are my favorite noises even if it is them screaming at 2am.

Random: I once tried to impress my crush by doing a high kick with flip flops and the one that was on the foot I used ended up on my house's roof.

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Honestly the only person that comes to mind is @jae-tries-writting-stuff but there is no pressure! And it would be fun if others did it too! I would like to know about you guys if possible! I really find everyone really interesting and just want to know about silly things-