Second: Why Did You Guys Dress Up As Each Other For Halloween?

Dark: It’s nice to be wanted, you know?

Chosen: Not by the law!

Yellow: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Red without them noticing?

Green: Hey, Red, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny.

Red: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser.

Yellow: ...

Green: Pose as a team because SHIT JUST GOT REAL!

Green: I believe in you, Purple!

Purple, to themself: God, I must suck. The nicest thing Green can think to say to me is that they don’t doubt my existence.

Blue: Why do soap smell so good but taste so bad?

Yellow: The smell is from delicious perfumes that have been added to the soap. The taste comes from a myriad of chemicals and ingredients that are probably not safe to eat!

Blue: You're so smart! Wanna go out?

Purple, in Green’s bed: Morning… how’d ya sleep last night?

Green, knocking Purple off: WHAT THE HELL?!

Purple: Ow—

Green: What were you doing in my bed? You were supposed to sleep on the air mattress on the floor!

Purple: I had a nightmare.

Green: You had a nightmare? What are you, five years old?

Purple: Listen, I needed to feel comfortable and I was getting this perverse power dynamic vibe from me sleeping on the floor and you sleeping up there-

Green, in a royal accent: Why yes, how high and mighty I am up on my twin XL!

Purple: That is not what I meant—

Green: Silence in the presence of your king, who sleeps a lofty twelve and a half inches above the ground!

Purple: Listen, I’m not ashamed. I slept comfortably when I got up on your bed and I’m sure you did too.

Green: Yeah, okay-

Purple: You know what? I wanna know. How’d you sleep last night?

Green: …That was the best I’ve slept in a while.

Purple, gasping: The king slept comfortably with a peasant in his bed!

Green: I did not consent to this-

Purple, dramatically: But my liege, our love is forbidden!

Green, on the phone: Hi, is this the front desk? Yeah, there’s a bed bug in my room and he’s five-foot-seven.

Second: So, what is Dark to you?

Chosen: The reason I wake up every morning.

Second: ...That’s adorable.

Dark earlier that morning, barging into Chosen′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

Dark: If God’s ever been mad at anything I’ve ever said, he hasn’t done shit about it. Dark: So he either doesn’t care or he’s a coward.

Second: A SPIDEEER!!!!!!

Yellow: KILL IT! SMASH IT!

Green: BURN IT!

Second: STAB IT! WITH A KNIFE! GET ME THE SHOTGUN!

Red: Awww, it’s so cute! Look at it!

Chosen: There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Dark way.

Second: Isn't that the wrong way?

Chosen: Yes, but it's faster.