Chosen: Hey, Can You Do Me A Favor?

Dark: I got us matching friendship bracelets, and you say I don't care about our relationship.

Chosen: These are handcuffs.

Dark: Yeah, 'cause we're partners in crime!

Yellow: *very seriously* You need to stop doing weird things to cope with the stress. Going outside might help.

Red: I went to the park today.

Yellow: There you go! I hope you got something from that.

Red: *opening their coat* This duck.

Chosen: You are an absolute fucking dork.

Dark, singing: Yeah, but I'm your dork!

Chosen: *sighs* Yeah, you're my dork.

Purple: Green, I beg of you. Please, PLEASE go to the doctor.

Green: Hey, I'm sorry. Is this OUR stab wound?

Green: *holding a salt packet* It’s just a little sodium chloride.

Yellow: Actually Green, it’s salt.

Green: That’s what I said, sodium chloride.

Yellow: Uh Green, that would be salt.

Yellow: *takes salt packer from Green* This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.

*Second is fighting a monster*

Dark: Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it!

Second: The power to believe in myself!?

Dark: No, a knife! Stab it!

Red: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-

Yellow: A doll.

Blue: A cinnamon roll.

Green: A sweetheart.

Red:

Red: ...stop it.

Blue: When's the last time you slept?

Yellow: Uh... a few days ago, I think.

Yellow: A few- how many?!

Yellow: Uh... *starts counting on fingers* I need more fingers...

Blue: What you need is sleep!

Second: If I stay in bed I'll be warm. If I get in the shower, I'll also be warm. But the distance between the bed and shower? No. That is not warm.

Yellow: I had to pick up Red early.

Blue: That’s alright. Have they been sick?

Yellow: No, not sick, they’re just very upset because they’ve had a hard day.

Blue: Wait, why did they have a hard day?

Yellow: They took their two pet snails to school with them today, and they had the snails in their book bag. They let out the snails by the sink in the back of the classroom for some exercise, and someone visiting the class that day thought they were snails that had come inside from the playground, so they threw Red’s snails out the window.

Blue: Oh my god.

Yellow: I know you are laughing, Blue, but please act sad about it when we get home today.

Blue: I’ll try but that is hilarious.

Yellow: Yeah, I know. Stupid pet snails.

Yellow: I’m trying not to let Red see me laugh.