Purple: My Heart Is Guarded But Like… Very Poorly. The Kind Of Guards That Would Let 3 Kids In A Trench

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Purple: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Red: ...I did. I broke it.

Purple: No. No you didn't. Green?

Green: Don't look at me. Look at Yellow.

Yellow: What?! I didn't break it.

Green: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Yellow: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Green: Suspicious.

Yellow: No, it's not!

Second: If it matters, Blue was the last one to use it.

Blue: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Red: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Purple.

Purple: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Green: Purple... Yellow's been awfully quiet.

Yellow: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Purple, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Purple: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Purple:

Purple: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Red: So, Purple, do you have a crush on anyone?

Purple: The only crush I have is this crushing anxiety.

Dark: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules.

Second: What?

Dark: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

Chosen: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?!

Second: It's kind of complicated, but Dark-

Chosen: Got it. Forget I asked.

Dark: Why shouldn't you tell ducks jokes on April Fools Day?

Dark: Because they'll quack up

Dark: How do pirates celebrate April Fools Day?

Dark: They walk the prank

Chosen: Knock knock

Dark: Who's there?

Chosen: Lenny

Dark: Lenny who?

Chosen: Lenny know when you're done with these April Fools Day jokes.

Second: It's locked. You got a lock pick?

Chosen: Yeah-

Dark: *kicks in the door*

Dark: If you ever feel stupid or weak or powerless, just remember that I am not. I am out there, very dangerous, and I am looking for you. Good luck.

Purple, sweating: Green, there’s something I need to ask you-

Green: Finally! You’re proposing!

Purple: How’d you know?

Green: Purple, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Green: I even picked it up once.

Red: Which way did Green go?

Yellow: Well, based on the direction of the wind, the broken sticks in the corner, and the slight disturbance in the dirt, I'd guess they went left.

Red: You could really figure it out from that?

Yellow: No, you idiot, Green sent me a text.

Green: Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?