One Day You Will Realize that You Are Not The Center of The World And That...is...okay.

This how English major torture people.

I’m going to make a new font called Times New Bastard

is this love?

it starts by listening to the same playlist on repeat,

its Finneas, Dean Lewis, Banners, followed by Benjamin, Grey

and a touch of sugar, spice and everything that peirce my heart.

I find myself wondering if the poems say it out loud

or the songs add the missing harmony

sometimes I find it in lines traced on old yellow pages

and at others in the random flowers pressed between…

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To hate and not hate my Father

To hate and not hate my Father

Let’s be clear my dad and my Father are two different people, two souls in one flesh and yet so differently similar. My dad laughs at the most childish of jokes. My father hasn’t smiled at me in ages. my dad has cried in front of me and is open to care. My Father goes through days with a stoic line on his face. My Dad has names for me that show his love, overflowing. My Father calls my…

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690 Kilometer.

The distance between me and my past is not very large…690 km to be precise.

Did I run all the way here or rode some cloud of power I don’t remember?

Funny I ran so hard and so fast and I still find myself under.

Every morning I find something crumble…is it my soul, my mind or just another blunder caused because of my dropping eyes and my body aching to lay in a deep slumber.

The wind…

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The up, The down and everything between.

The up, The down and everything between.

THE UP

Its like the wind on the summer evening,

playing with your hair and making you smile.

The night sky is full with stars,

you can see the constellations you read about,

when you were 13.

There is music playing, ‘Its good to be back, no longer alone”

Your curve upwards and you let out a breath

you never knew you were holding.

There is dust on your face, but you…

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shrimpboys. crabgirls. is that anything

I Am Falling Again.

I Am Falling Again.

So, what do I do on my free days?

I wake up late, search for a cup of coffee,

Make myself a plate easy breakfast and then

It’s a day of selfcare.

I think of the books to read and shows to watch

I lay down on the grass and look at the sky.

I paint my nails and I curl my hair

Then bunch them and use a ribbon to tie.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I can see

See a void…

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All things ORANGE...

All things ORANGE…

Orange used to remind me of things that made my childhood fun…like the soda that coloured my tongue, the syrup on the ice but now it reminds me of the fire and pain that eats my country slowly.

The world’s burning, people are dying, animals becoming extinct, plants been uprooted like unwanted weed, and to be honest there is nothing in this world right now, that makes you feel safe. Believe me…

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I am falling.

So, what do I do on my free days?

I wake up late, search for a cup of coffee,

Make myself a plate easy breakfast and then

It’s a day of selfcare.

I think of the books to read and shows to watch

I lay down on the grass and look at the sky.

I paint my nails and I curl my hair

Then bunch them and use a ribbon to tie.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I can see

See a void but then it disappears

Then I think of having some tea

So, I put the pan up and sit on the chair

Waiting

Waiting

Waiting

The water boils over

I feel all drunk

Even when I am sober

I am sitting and sitting and sitting

I can see the sun rise and set and rise and set

The clock tics toks tics toks tics toks and tics

And I lie on my bed and lie to my self

The void in me is rising and burning and singing

The void is hungry so, its eating

Eating me and the soul and the light

Selfcare maybe is lying in bed

Feel a little dead

But I just stay and stay and stay

Then there is the night and then the day

And then something clicks

I thinks the void is full, it had its share

It is going back in and there is this light

This light, a crack on the wall

I find myself standing tall

I look at the clock oh its been just four hours

But then my cell phone beeps

‘hey there you’ve been missing from the outside world for a week’

My eyes readjust, my mouth is dry

I reach for water, there is a pan with burnt tea leaves

There is a cup of coffee half drunk

I look into the mirror, there is ribbon tangled in my hair

Well I guess this is the end of a day of selfcare

and believe me, I can feel it in the air

I am falling again.

As a girl who is just steeping in the real life....my indian parents have made me go through this fear a lot and one day even when I wont be ready in know this will come true.