Ayoungwomansthoughts - A Young Woman's Thoughts

1. V.E. Schwab // 2. Unknown // 3. Rudolph Vitkauskas // 4. Charles Bukowski // 5. Margaret Atwood

I wish everyone would admit that classic literature is inherently difficult to read, and that you shouldn’t feel stupid if you don’t “get it”. Especially the dark academia/ classic lit fandoms and stuff. Like unless you have the vocabulary and pop culture knowledge of an 18th century nobleman, it’s going to be a tough read. It’ll take you longer to read; you’re not stupid if you’ve spent several months on a single book! And you don’t have to enjoy everything. It’s okay if you got bored after one chapter of Wuthering Heights, and couldn’t be bothered to read the rest. It’s okay if you want to read your favourite kids book for the 10th time instead. You’re not stupid. No piece of literature is inherently better, more “important”, more “meaningful”, or more “intellectual” than another. First and foremost, read what brings you joy.

“I love you. Infinitely and inexpressibly. I’ve woken up in the middle of the night and here I am writing this. My love, my happiness.” –  Vladimir Nabokov, from a letter to Vera (January 19, 1925), featured in “Letters To Vera” by Vladimir Nabokov (Russian, 1899-1977)

REINVENTING MYSELF-Femininity

Simply put, I don’t like the woman I am now. I am a manifestation of my parents neglect, insecurities rooted in me since a child, along with suppressed and very obvious trauma. I want to see better, I want to do better, I want to attract better.

In preparation for spring (the actual “New Year”) I am currently throwing away EVERYTHING and starting completely fresh. Clothes, wigs, sheets, I even thought about tossing my diploma not a soul asked me for (not even school, everything is electronic).

This is she, me. Anew

Personality

She is mysterious, yet has a welcoming aura about her. You know she’s not the woman to step to unless it’s worth her time, but intimidating isn’t the feeling that comes over the admirer. She’s playful, actively laughing and playing with her dogs. Publicly and privately. A hopeless romantic, though a seductress first. Her love (and lust) is earned. She’s very hard to get.

Hopeless Romantic

Adventurous

Rebellious

Creative

Bookworm

Athletic

Hobbies

She’s always trying something new to see if she finds something she likes. Fear of dislike is never on her mind. As a curious spirit, she not only has hobbies but works to advance and meet those who share the same hobbies as her

Art museums

Theatre

Cooking & making recipe books to pass down

Scrapbooking

Learning about nature (plants, Survival skills, history)

Baking (for anyone)

Chess

White Wine

Astrology

Teapot Collecting

Reading research articles

Boundaries

Again, she’s very hard to get. Hard to impress. Hard to convince. Hard to plead to. As warm as her aura may be, she’s very no nonsense. She is in tune with her inner voice and intuition, who are the first to advise her about whatever you’re telling her.

No sex before substantial financial/personal commitment

Limited debates, always held with class and even tone. Never arguments or fights

Not surrounding self around people who don’t share the same ambition

I come first. My safety, my priorities and myself, period.

No unannounced guests (gift deliveries excluded)

I don’t entertain conversations with men after a certain time

I am selective about what I choose to listen to, so I cut all unproductive/negative conversations very short

Goals

She is an “overachiever”. Whatever that means.

Purchase first property

Travel to 5th country

Obtaining black dermatologist

Selling select art pieces for over ($XX,XXX)

Approved for American Express Platinum Card

Accepted into Ph.D program

Complete first few books/scripts

Learn Spanish and ASL fluently

I went deep into depth privately, and I highly suggest you do the same. Sometimes, it helps to have an organized, detail breakdown of who you are, who you want to become, and most importantly who are you leaving behind.

$TufaniTalks

i want to be so kind it echoes backwards in time and undoes the things that hurt you. i want to be so kind it radiates from me. i want to be so kind that i make someone else find faith in humanity again. there’s not much i can do, i’m small and weak and i only know so many words. but i know i can be kind. and sometimes, i believe, that changes the world.

– Simone de Beauvoir

sometimes do you ever just want to

RIP to the opportunities we missed because of shyness and low self esteem.

— Heather Havrilesky, from “How to Be a Person in the World”

it’s the idea that god creates people only to destroy them for me