Bruce: Are You Listening To Me?

*Harper and Cullen are doing something absurdly dangerous*

Harper: I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!

Cullen , deadpan: Well that's encouraging.

Best girls in Gotham

Luke: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Barbara: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Dick: Smad

Cullen: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Bruce: What did you do?

Cullen: Nobody died.

Bruce: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

🦇Bruce Wayne Headcanons 🦇

- Bruce wears reading glasses and puts them on whenever he needs to see something up close, so there’s a good chance if you walk in the bat cave you will see Batman squinting through a pair of cheap reading glasses at the bat computer.

- He smells good, but as he’s gotten older he’s beginning to smell like an old man.

- You cannot tell me Bruce has the loudest ringtone on earth and he stalks his whole family ( Including Red Hood) on Life360.

- “Live Laugh Love”

- He will try to use words to seem hip in front of his kids and it fails horribly. Example:

(Bruce picks Damian up from school)

Bruce: How was your day today, son?

Damian: tch. not too irritating, I guess.

Bruce: That’s very poggers.

Damian: 🤦

Honestly true

Whoops accidentally deleted this anyway this is hands down the best trio friendship dynamic

Jason: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.

Roy: Marry me.

Luke : dad! My face is on fire!

Lucius: Luke ! Are you ok?!

Luke : Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly.

Lucius : But your face is on fire.

Luke : Yes. It's much faster than shaving.

Duke: Hey, you want some leftovers?

Tiffany: What's that?

Duke: You've never had leftovers???

Tiffany: No, because I'm not a quitter.

Barbara: I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.

Dick: Babs what kind of animal is the Pink Panther?

Barbara , already taking off their clothes: God, Dick, you’re so fucking stupid.