Old Ladies In Coffee Shop: Wow, You Are So Studious. It Is Nice To See A Young Lady So Serious About

Photosynthesis is one of those things that you usually learn about in a simplified way when you're little, that we grow up kinda taking for granted that we "know how that works."

But the process is actually so spine tinglingly bizarre, that if you heard about it for the first time as an adult, you wouldn't even believe it.

Plants are just transmuting light beams into highly complex molecules of sugar. By using the light as a fuckin' battering ram to shatter molecules of water apart. And we're just like "oh yeah, they do that, no big deal" as if that's not a seven layer bizarro dip of what the fuck.

I’m really into internet discourse but only pointless and stupid internet discourse like how many holes there are in a straw (it’s 2)

I know that Caleb and Essek were both playing the long game and trying to manipulate each other prior to the cease fire, but it’s still very funny that these two highly intelligent wizards went ‘Ah, yes I will beguile him with my many spells and knowledge of the arcane to trick him into thinking he can trust me.’

And both of them fucking idiots that they are fell for it.

And then doubled down and said ‘But what if you could actually trust me? What if I used my spells to actually flirt with you? What if I stopped in the middle of a battle to pull you from underneath some rubble and you pressed your forehead to mine? What if we called each other partners for the next seven years and had an engagement portrait painted and hung in our home?’

Like I don’t know if you failed at the first step or succeeded.

A PSA about trucks from a truck driver

I and some colleagues were talking about how we wish everyone could see the safety videos that our company was showing us, because I don’t think most people understand how traffic works in a truck. So here’s some things we wish everyone on the road knew.

- we’re not kidding about tailgating. If you’re right behind us on a straight highway? Chances are we have NO IDEA you’re there, which means we can’t anticipate any of your movements. Plus slowing down takes multiple downshifts, so we might start decreasing speed way earlier than you expect.

- We’re not kidding about any of our blind spots. WE CAN’T SEE YOU, GUYS.

- That bit about slowing down taking a while? The same goes for when you’re in front of us. Don’t cut off a truck. Oh god, PLEASE don’t cut off a truck. If you cut me off, I’m not irritated, I’m terrified. For YOU. It can take 7 to 9 seconds for us to stop. DON’T CUT OFF TRUCKS.

- Before you get mad about how slow we’re going on the highway, keep in mind that many companies govern their vehicles so they literally CAN’T go over 60 or 65. This is a good thing, I promise. Because…

- Do you know what happens when a car meets a truck in an accident? The car gets totaled and the truck needs a new coat of paint. You will not win this fight. I know nobody likes getting stuck behind a big dumb truck, but it’s not worth your life.

We are trying our best to protect you from our 80,000 pound death machines. Please help us out.

Reporter: so, Mr. Stark, tell us, what are going to do this Pride month?

Tony: SI has planned several events actually and for our LGBT+ employees we—

Reporter: I’m sure that’s very interesting, but what about your personal involvement? Sure there’s something you could do from the height of your privilege—

Tony: Oh, me, personally? I’m planning to suck a lot of dick.

"I am running on 5 hours of sleep, pure adrenaline, and the untapped will of an anime protagonist."

- Rogue, after being asked why they sound so tired

it's not that I need a quiet day or a day off exactly; it's that I need a pocket of time that exists entirely outside of linear time as we know it that would allow me to get things done without time passing in the real world, and frankly, I don't think that's too much to ask.