Me At My Hebrew Ass

happy birthday mcu!

The Evening Sun, Hanover, Pennsylvania, January 12, 1922

I AM SHOOKETH

Alright. Y’all know how this works. That’s $1100 right there. 

May you be completely, abundantly, beautifully blessed.

Everybody knows it cereal before milk

BLURRBBB NIIIIGHT::::: Bucky and the reader having a huge, screaming, throwing stuff against the walls fight, and everyone else all thinks they cheated on each other or smthn like that but it turns out that they’re arguing over smthn really small and silly like a game or how to pronounce a certain word or whatever

Idek what this is 😂

_____________

“Un-fucking-believable!” It was the first thing that graced Steve’s ears when he stepped over the threshold. His eyebrows raised at the voice, freezing. Very slowly, he closed the door behind him as you continued to scream.

“You absolute heathen! I can’t believe I married you!”

Steve took a deep breath. Maybe he shouldn’t be here. This sounded bad.

“Oh, I’m the heathen? As if you’re right about everything! If I had known this earlier, I never would have proposed!”

Steve frowned and moved into the living room, eyes falling on a fuming Bucky and an even angrier Y/N. Their faces were red, and Steve could see Y/N’s hands physically shaking. Bucky’s eyes fell on Steve.

“Oh good, you’re here. Maybe you can tell us who’s right in this situation.”

Steve took a step back, raising his hands. “Uh, I don’t think I should make decisions here-”

“Of course you want to ask him.” Y/N interrupted, crossing her arms. “Of course he’ll side with you. He’s your best friend.”

Steve shook his head but Bucky grabbed his shoulders, looking him in the eye.

“It’s a simple question Steve.” He said. “I know you won’t take sides.”

“Of course not.” Steve sighed, knowing he would have to say something and he wasn’t getting out of this.

“Tell me, and answer truthfully.” Bucky spoke. “What do you put in the bowl first? Milk or cereal?”

Steve stared at Bucky, eyes wide. “What?”

“Answer the question, Steve.” Y/N stepped forward now, intense gaze meeting his. “Milk or cereal?”

Steve looked between both their faces, raising an incredulous eyebrow. “That’s what you guys are fighting about?”

Silence.

“It’s an important question.” Y/N finally replied.

Steve groaned and ran a hand through his hair, not even finding it in him to laugh. “You two are unbelievable.”

“What?” Bucky asked.

“Talking about ending your marriage because of how you eat cereal?”

Y/N snorted. “I’m not going to live with some uncultured swine who puts milk before cereal.”

Bucky let out a sarcastic laugh. “That’s the only way to do it. That’s how I’ve always done it.”

“And what makes you the king of cereal-eating manners?”

Steve sighed and pressed his lips together in order to not laugh, turning around and heading to the door. The last thing he heard was Bucky counting on his fingers why milk should be before cereal. Then, the door closed.

Reblog with a celebrity who is from your state, city, or town

Sometimes I say self loathing things to my therapist and he looks at me dead in the eyes before saying “You fucking moron.” and tbh same

could I perhaps have the prompt "I don't know if I want to kiss you right now or shove you off a bridge" "Can I pick?" please? :3

Of course, it is yours!!!