"The Only Thing I've Ever Really Wanted... Was To Be Understood."

The “crab? hand?” meme except it’s the Collector going “friend?” at King.

Dana please let them interact more it would make me so happy

the most disturbing trend in online leftism is outright hostility towards any kind of community building tools and forgiveness whatsoever.

Yess!! I'm coeliac and I'm on a cooking rota with my friends- they're all really good at checking ingredients and they scrub all their utensils so contamination is rare, and my contamination avoidance is the same as theirs anyway, and yet when I asked for advice online about talking to them about not using my wooden utensils on gluten stuff etc, I was bombarded by people telling me to cook for myself- I wasn't asking for them to dictate how I choose to manage my condition, I wanted a way to tell my friends why I don't want them using my stuff without offending them

I don't get hugely sick from contamination, and in my case specifically, I don't think avoiding gluten to extremes is worth the stress, not to mention cooking for myself every night etc

It's my life- I can do what I want with it. And I choose not to stress about contamination. Other people can, and I understand that, but I also believe that it's up to each individual how they manage their condition- if they don't care, that's up to them.

Just don't tell a restaurant you're coeliac and then eat gluten from your friend's plate- if I'm gonna eat something from my sister's plate, I tell the restaurant it's a mild intolerance and not to worry about contamination

When I tell them I'm coeliac, I will never take these risks- it's not fair on those who cannot deal with contamination, nor the chefs who work hard to keep my food safe when I'm just gonna render it pointless anyway- but I don't think it's wrong to take these risks if you're coeliac, some people act like it's the worst thing you can do ever

I'll deal with this shit how I want, thanks. I've found my balance. Sorry it's not the same as yours.

This may be a hot take but anyways.

Whilst we need the general public & to some extent, newly diagnosed people with coeliac disease to understand the seriousness of the condition. I wish people within our community would stop fear mongering so much.

We get it. We need to not be exposed to gluten. But also we still need quality of life. There comes a point where the harm stress does to our body, outweighs small occasional risks of exposure.

Having a ‘may contain’ food item once in while, is not that serious. It is not going to do a massive amount of damage to our bodies in the long term, even if it does have traces. Getting exposed from eating out one time, is not going to cause cancer.

Some people get extremely ill & I’m not dismissing that. Most of us want to avoid it regardless of the severity because it sucks. But what I am saying that if people want to take small risks once in a while, they shouldn’t be made to feel bad or like that is going to kill them. People should be allowed to ask ‘hey, anyone tried this may contain? Did you get sick from it?’.

I don’t know why but it’s always the ‘may contains’ that people are the most wildly judgemental about. Everywhere you eat out is a ‘may contain’. Your home is one huge ‘may contain’ if you live with people who eat gluten.

Do your best. Allow your body to heal after diagnosis &/or exposure. Figure out what risks feel like a reasonable balance for you between not getting sick/not having ongoing exposures & quality of life. Maybe this works better in places where it’s easier to avoid exposures because of better/clearer labelling laws but that’s all I can speak to & where the chaotic judgement is coming from too.

if you've never engaged with a creative art on a regular basis you need to understand that it requires concerted effort to get into "the groove" to make something and every second that it takes to get into that groove causes physical pain, but the only thing worse than doing it is not doing it.

i just heard the phrase “if you wouldn’t trust their advice, don’t trust their criticism” for the first time and i don’t think i’ve ever needed to hear anything more

mythologizing abuse as this horrible thing that only evil, malicious Abusers do to Innocent Victims is a really, really dangerous way of thinking. You have to recognize that anyone is capable of causing harm, and that it is possible to address it and improve as a person after hurting someone.

This idea that harm is an Evil Act that comes from Bad People, or makes someone a Bad Person is a black and white framing that makes it incredibly difficult to actually address harm, and actually winds up protecting abusers.

Because that's just not how it works. It's not an accurate model of reality. So subscribing to it gives you some dangerous blind spots; you won't be looking for signs of abuse or harm from someone you believe to be a Good Person, and the people around you are very likely to be afraid to actually communicate with you when a line is crossed for fear of being made out to be a Bad Person.

Abuse is something you do, not something you are. It has nothing to do with who the individuals are, it's a description of the impact certain kinds of actions have on someone else. The idea that believing something bad or doing something hurtful defines something intrinsic to the person in question creates an environment where it is impossible to grow or change into someone who no longer does those things or believes those ideas; you've condemned that person as someone Inherently Bad, what's the point of trying to improve if nobody will give them the benefit of the doubt?

And, more to the point of what I want to get across here, thinking like this is unbelievably stressful. It puts you on constant eggshells forever - cross the wrong line, and you mark yourself as A Bad Person, someone deserving of punishment, vitriol, rejection, every and any hostility one might see fit to throw at you. It's fucking terrifying, you wind up believing that any mistake could be your undoing, that you have to do no wrong, have to convince others that you've done no wrong, that you're a Good Person, not someone who hurts others.

But that's the thing. Nobody's perfect, it's impossible to be. You can't know everything before it happens, you'll never have all the context for something before having to make a decision. Inevitably, you will cross a line, violate a boundary, realize something you were taught about the world is actually bigotry, and that you never questioned it until now. And you will have to reconcile with that. You need to be prepared to face that reality, again and again, at any moment, for the rest of your life.

Far more often than anyone wants to admit, abuse isn't a product of malice or hatred, it's a byproduct of someone well-intentioned who for one reason or another has a mental block keeping them from prioritizing someone else's needs and wellbeing as necessary. They behave in ways that hurt and shut down their victim because they can't wrap their head around the fact that that's what's going on, that they're hurting someone. Or if they do, they don't believe that there's a way to avoid it, or fix it, or change.

The mythologized model of the Evil Abuser who hurts the Innocent Victim because they're a Bad Person is more likely to create that exact kind of mental block than it is to protect anyone from harm. It makes every mistake the end, a personal apocalypse that collapses the situation around your feelings rather than addressing the harm done. It's dangerous.

Let go of the idea of Good People and Bad People. We're all just people, and we're gonna hurt each other sometimes. It doesn't need to be anything more than that. You can apologize, and try to change. You can be imperfect and still worth loving. If someone asserts otherwise, that says more about them than it does about you.

my body, tearfully: when sleep???

me: my dude we just woke up!! It’s time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity

my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????

You’re never too old to collect figures.

You’re never too old to be in a fandom.

You’re never too old to play video games.

You’re never too old to listen to music.

You’re never too old to enjoy things.

don't give up

Our feather means death poster🏴‍☠️

I want to do something with the all of them since a long time!

And more should come!!

( Roach and the Suede are my fav by so far❤️‍🔥)