This Is Genuinely Hilarious To Me

“don’t project YOUR issues onto that fictional man” i’m not even doing anything. he’s doing all that shit himself. sorry for spotting patterns. observing. understanding nuances. i guess

holy fuck LOOK AT THIS MAN OHMYGOD

Bold of shows to try to decide who's the main character. I think that's up to me.

Cillian Murphy for GQ México (2022)

I’m in a reading slump. Can you please suggest some light reading to push me out of it? :)

here you go.

also a few more additions since then —

beartown trilogy by fredrik backman: it’s about a town devoted to ice hockey, and a really really really well-done story of where it takes the community

against everything by mark greif: essays on a whole bunch of things including the commodification of food, exercise and sex among other things; really quite thoughtfully done. the book sort of lingers in the background: i started it sometime last year and i pick it up when i feel like it after weeks and months

the dangers of smoking in bed by mariana enriquez: a little heavier than what you'd normally seek out in light reading, but it's good nonetheless. a collection of gothic horror, all set in buenos aires, all revolving around women; i found the book very darkly fascinating

ghachar ghochar by vivek shanbag: about a family that becomes rich very suddenly, and what that does to the family fabric, their sense of self and morality; it's a quick read

(never forgotten)

(affirming myself in the mirror) if that fictional man was real he would fuck you. He would fuck you. You're his exact type. If he saw you he'd get a boner instantly. He would fuck you he would fu

Cowabunga Dude

TFAWS Bucky

Summary: Sam teaches Bucky some "new" slang he uses on you to impress you into a date.

Content warning: Mild language, gullible Bucky? Little fluff

“Dude, you need to get out there more” 

“I get out” Bucky protested, and Sam scoffed at him. 

“Going out to play checkers in the park Sunday mornings with old war vets isn’t what I mean Buck. Go out with a lady, or a dude even, but get out, meet someone” he said making Bucky grumble.

They sat in the new office taking a break from setting it up as Sam went over some equipment as Bucky sipped his coffee while scanning the newspaper. 

Since the flagsmashers, they’ve been busy putting out fires all over the place. 

Sam hired you to be his office administrator, and your first day was tomorrow.

“When Y/n starts, you’re going to have to be nice to her” Sam warned Bucky and he rolled his eyes at Sam. 

“I’m nice” he spat, and Sam shook his head. 

“Just don’t scare her off. You can be broody, so just smile occasionally. Y/n is helping me out by doing this job, so I expect you to behave” he got up from his desk. 

“Come on, it’s Sunday, let’s go back to my place and watch some football” 

Sam lead Bucky out of the office.

You woke up early on Monday morning, excited to start your job. 

Yes, it was a Monday and excited and Mondays should never be said in the same sentence, but you didn’t care, you were excited to be working with your friend Sam. He needed someone with experience to run things while he was away, and he instantly thought of you. 

You worked for a small tech company that folded within a few months of opening, so you were available and looking when Sam called you and offered you a job, which you were grateful for. So, you got yourself ready and made your way to the office to start your new job with one of your best friends at your side.

You walked into the office.

“Morning Sam”

“Hey Y/n” 

He gave you a quick hug. 

He showed you to your desk, which was at the front of the room next to some plants and a few chairs. 

“Wow, still setting up, are we?” you joked looking around the sparse office. 

“Yeah, Buck and I were here all weekend organizing things. Got your desk, phone, and computer set up”  

Of course, it was Stark. Pepper must have set Sam up with some things.

You and Sam were working away. lugging empty boxes down the hall when you noticed a man walk up. He was tall, had short dark hair, slight scruff on his cheeks, and bright blue eyes. He was quite handsome and thought this must be Bucky.

Bucky was expecting a regular old day when he made his way to the office. He knew of you, but he had never met you or seen pictures of you, but he knew who you thanks to Sam constantly blabbering about you. 

He knew who you were instantly as he saw you struggling. He thought you were cute as you huffed and puffed your way down the hall, but he froze when you approached him. 

“Hello” 

He nodded. 

“Here”

He took the boxes from you. 

“Thanks, you’re a lifesaver” 

You could have sworn you saw him blush before he turned away.

You walked back to your desk and sat down. The man from earlier who helped you with the empty boxes walked into the office. 

“I’m Bucky” 

You smiled. 

“Y/n. I kind of figured that out”

“Sam around?” asked Bucky.

“I think he’s in his office”

Bucky made his way to see Sam. 

“Morning Buck” 

Sam was busy placing pictures around his desk wondering where to hang them. 

“I see you met Y/n” 

He looked at the empty walls. 

“Yeah” 

Bucky shrugged but kept his eyes on you. 

“Don’t go flirting with her” he warned, and Bucky smirked. 

He was in no shape to flirt, not when he couldn’t string more than a few words together in front of you.

“I’m serious” 

Sam warned.

Bucky left to get a cup of coffee. His office was next to Sam’s and he was almost set up as the only thing left was the laptop which he scowled at.

“I don’t know what I’m doing?” 

Bucky called, unboxing the laptop and looking at it like it was a foreign object. 

“Hey” 

You peeked into Bucky’s office. 

“Need a hand with that?” pointing to the laptop.

“O-ok” 

He offered you the box grimacing at his stuttering. 

Why was he so nervous around you and why was his palm sweaty? 

You unwrapped it and took everything out, placing the cables on the desk. Bucky watched you intently as you worked efficiently at plugging things in as the screen came to life. 

“Just follow the instructions on the screen” 

You noticed Bucky scowl at it. 

“You need to set up a username and password” 

You away the empty boxes. 

“What do I make it?” he asked, and you shrugged. 

“Ask Sam but keep it simple. And if it seems funny to you, come and get me and I’ll help you. You know Sam likes to joke around” you warned before leaving to go back to your desk.

Bucky must have gotten his laptop set up as you could hear Sam and him argue about it. They did that a lot, but it was all in fun as they took jabs at each other. They were like an old married couple. 

The day flew by as you were almost finished when you saw Sam walk out and lean on your desk with Bucky following. 

“Want to come out for drinks with us? Catch up?” he asked. 

“No thanks Sam. Going to my sisters tonight to be the cool aunt. Babysitting duties and all. Maybe next time?” 

“Sure thing” 

The three of you left.

“You ok Buck?” Sam looked over at Bucky who watched you walk in the opposite direction of where they were headed. 

“I should have walked with her back to her apartment” he admitted, and Sam scoffed. 

“Y/n can take care of herself. She’s a former special forces agent, served with me oversees” he said, and Bucky nodded. 

He was still watching you with a light smile on his face. 

“You, sure you're ok?” Sam asked and Bucky nodded. 

“Come on” Sam said, suddenly aware his friend may have a small crush.

“All I’m saying Buck, is just go up to her and talk to her” Sam said the following week. 

It had been a week of working with Sam and Bucky and you were loving it. 

“Do you think so? I used to be so good at this stuff” he said and Sam snorted. 

“Right, the ladies man thing” Sam rolled his eyes. 

“I don’t know what to say to her” he said, and Sam got an idea. 

He knew you were smart, witty, and would understand. Sam was always up for a bit of fun. 

“Just talk to her like normal. Y/n is super cool and when you’re finished, say Cowabunga dude. Chicks like that” he said, and Bucky looked at him weirdly. 

“What? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. What does that even mean?” asked Bucky. 

“It means you’re into her” he shrugged, having a hard time keeping a straight face. 

“Fine” Bucky mumbled. He caught you walking in from lunch.

“Hey guys” you waved and sat down at your desk. 

Sam nudged Bucky and Bucky swatted at him. 

“I’m goin’” he whispered. 

Bucky walked up to your desk. You gave him a smile and it almost knocked him over.

“Hey Bucky”

He stood there for a bit, and it was a little awkward. 

“You, ok?” 

“Oh, I’m fine…nice weather out” he blurted out. 

You looked at him funny but answered. 

“Yeah, it’s getting nicer out. Glad there is warm weather coming this week.” 

“I like your sweater” Bucky blurted out making you blush a little. 

“Thanks” 

You looked down at your sweater and smiled. 

“Well, cowabunga dude” 

He turned around and left. 

You sat there staring at Bucky’s retreating back with your mouth open.

Did-did he just say Cowabunga dude? What the hell was that? 

You saw Bucky go back to his office and you smiled at him, thinking he might not be feeling right, or you misheard. 

Sam was down the hall walking to his office with his hand over his mouth trying to conceal his laughter since he heard the whole thing. 

“I think it worked” Bucky proudly said standing in Sam’s office. 

“Oh, yeah, really?” 

Sam had to hide a snicker. 

“Got anything else I can say to her to show her I’m interested?” asked Bucky and Sam grinned widely gesturing to Bucky to sit down.

The next day, you brought coffees in for the guys since you were running late. 

“So sorry guys, my alarm didn’t go off” 

You placed the coffees down on the counter. You were only 10 minutes late, but you felt bad, so you got a few coffees as apologies. 

“No problem dudette” 

Bucky  grabbed his coffee and went to his office. 

You stood there with an open mouth then looked at Sam. 

“What was that?” Sam shrugged and took his coffee to his office. 

Weird.

You spent the morning organizing some files as you saw Bucky make his way over to you. 

“Got time for some lunch?” he asked, and you frowned slightly. 

“Still on hold with tech support and these files aren’t going to file themselves. Rain check?” you asked, and Bucky frowned lightly. 

“Alright. Don’t have a cow” 

You stared at him. 

“What was that?” 

“Don’t have a cow” he replied then walked to his office. 

Sam was out for lunch, so you texted him.

You: Why is Bucky suddenly talking like Bart Simpson?

Sam: I have no idea what you’re talking about

You: You sure?

Sam: Maybe?

You: Sam…

Sam: Come on, it’s funny

You: It kind of is…but why?

Sam: He likes you. Wanted to get the nerve to talk to you more and maybe ask you out. I gave him some sayings I told him will help

You: OMG Sam. What if he was doing this to someone else who isn’t me?

Sam: LOL then it’d be funnier? IDK?

You: We’re talking about this when you get back…the poor guy thinks those are pick up lines…

Sam: I know…

You: Sam…honestly…

Sam: Fine…

You: ...

Sam: ...

You put your phone down and chuckled lightly as your other line finally got through to tech support.

It was the end of the week, and you were grateful for a few days off. Sam had you running ragged as you were busy fielding calls and information for the new team. 

You met Joaquin a few times when he met with Sam as well as Peter and Kate came by to check out the new place. They seemed great and eager to start their new roles alongside Sam and Bucky.

Bucky watched you work from his office. He was thinking today would be the day he would ask you out for a drink. 

“Hey Y/n?” 

“Yes Bucky?” 

“Can you come here for a minute?” 

You got up from your desk and made it to Bucky’s office. 

“Yeah?”

 “Hi…”

"Hello..."

“I was wondering…well…would you like to go for a drink with me after work?” he asked, and you smiled. 

“Sure Bucky” 

He smiled bright.

“Cool. Cowabunga” 

You smirked then looked at the ground to hide your snort as you fake coughed. 

“You, ok?” asked Bucky and you nodded. 

“Fine, all good” you gave him a thumbs up as you left and went back to your desk. 

The fact that Bucky Barnes asked you out made your insides flippy and squishy. You sat there for the rest of the day with a dopey smile on your face. You are going to have to tell him about Sam’s fun he was having since the poor guy is so sure of himself.

You and Bucky walked to the bar a few blocks from the office. He put his hand at the small of your back as the two of you walked into the bar and headed to a booth. 

“I’ll get you a drink” 

Bucky made his way to the bar. 

You sat in the booth and watched him interact with the bartender. He made his way back to the table. 

“There” He handed you your drink. 

“Thanks. Cheers?” Bucky held out his beer to you which you clinked before taking a sip. 

You took a sip of your drink and squished your face. It was quite sour. 

“Is your drink, ok?” asked Bucky and you nodded. 

“A little on the sour side but it’s ok, really…” 

“Let me get you another”

"It’s ok Bucky, really” 

“If he made it wrong, I can go back and tell him” 

Bucky was getting up. 

“Don’t have a cow” 

Bucky looked at you weirdly. 

“That was my line?” 

Bucky grumbled making you laugh. You shifted closer to him in the booth. 

“Bucky…Do you wonder about those lines?” you quietly asked as Bucky thought about it. 

“Not really. Sam said they would work” he admitted. 

“Think about it…Sam said they would work. Have you heard them used anywhere else? Have you heard Sam say those lines to anyone at all?” you gently asked him as you patted the back of his gloved hand. 

Bucky was smart and you didn’t want to make him feel bad as he thought about it. 

“Dammit Sam” he said then rolled his eyes. 

You laughed hard and Bucky had a hard time hiding a smirk on his face. 

 “I think Sam was having some fun with you” 

“So those aren’t current pick-up lines?” he said flatly. 

“No Buck. Those are Bart Simpson sayings” 

“Who?” 

"Bart Simp…never mind. I’ll show you sometime” you patted the back of Bucky’s hand. 

“Well…they worked though. I got you here, didn’t I?” teased Bucky and you rolled your eyes but laughed. 

“Yeah…they did” you admitted. 

“Well then, Cowabunga” Bucky said as he sipped his drink then gave you his classic smirk.

y’all know i’m right

Bucky knowing he’s adorable. He knows all he has to do is bat his baby blues and it'll make anyone fold instantly. He's become such a little shit about it too, because he acts so oblivious while knowing exactly what he's doing.

“For fucks sake. No. NO. Do not look at me with those puppy eyes it won’t work” Sam shook his head, refusing to look at Bucky's face while the soldier blinked innocently with a small pout on his lips.

"I didn't do anything" he shrugged, acting as if he hadn't swiped the last cookie with the evidence sprinkled on the front of his shirt.

"You're something else" Sam grumbled, rolling his eyes at the puppy like look Bucky had on his face, "You can't keep making that face and getting away with this, keep your grubby hands away from my oreos"

Sam only manages to keep up the act for so long before reluctantly opening a new box, pushing it towards the brunette who smirks, swiping another handful.

"Unbelievable"

-

"Who the hell broke another punching bag in the gym-

“He’s right behind me isn’t he” Tony deadpanned, knowing Bucky was slinking about somewhere, batting his brown lashes, making his job 100 times harder. "Barnes I swear-

The billionaire turned around to find Bucky tiptoeing around the mess he made with wide, remorseful eyes making the billionaire groan.

"Don't look at me like some dame in the 40's, that cute face won't work on me"

"Did you just call him cute"

"Shut up"

"Well, you're not wrong"

-

"Bucky you're late" you frowned as he ran over to you, dressed in all black, ready to take you to dinner.

"M'sorry doll" He pouted, burying his face into your neck, "Didn't mean to keep you waiting"

"You're doing it again, this is cheating, you can't keep acting adorable and getting away with being late to our dates" you huffed, eventually melting into his needy cuddles, missing his little naughty smirk. Of course he didn't actually mean to be late and he really was sorry but he loved when you fell for his sweet charm.

"Did you see that? That little smirk he just made" Sam hissed while Steve snorted, lowkey happy to see this version of Bucky making its way back. "He gets away with everything, it isn't fair"

"Well I think it's adorable" Nat smiled watching him dote on you while Steve hummed in agreement. "He's a little cutie"

"He's a little shit"