In writing, epithets ("the taller man"/"the blonde"/etc) are inherently dehumanizing, in that they remove a character's name and identity, and instead focus on this other quality.
Which can be an extremely effective device within narration!
They can work very well for characters whose names the narrator doesn't know yet (especially to differentiate between two or more). How specific the epithet is can signal to the reader how important the character is going to be later on, and whether they should dedicate bandwidth to remembering them for later ("the bearded man" is much less likely to show up again than "the man with the angel tattoo")
They can indicate when characters stop being as an individual and instead embody their Role, like a detective choosing to think of their lover simply as The Thief when arresting them, or a royal character being referred to as The Queen when she's acting on behalf of the state
They can reveal the narrator's biases by repeatedly drawing attention to a particular quality that singles them out in the narrator's mind
But these only work if the epithet used is how the narrator primarily identifies that character. Which is why it's so jarring to see a lot of common epithets in intimate moments-- because it conveys that the main character is primarily thinking of their lover/best friend/etc in terms of their height or age or hair color.
A selection of strange and cryptic personal ads from The New York Herald, 1860s to 1890s. 3/?
“Are you happy here?" I said at last.
He considered this for a moment. "Not particularly," he said. "But you're not very happy where you are, either.”
-Donna Tartt, “The Secret History”
snoopy reads a timeless classic!!
may or may not be based on my life lmaooo | tag me if you use any :)
"You never text first."
"Don't you wanna be something more than whatever...this is?"
"When are you going to be serious about this?"
"You say you want to talk to me, but you never call back."
"It feels like I'm the only one fighting for whatever we have."
"Why should I hold onto this?"
"You say you love me, but you said that to [insert pronoun] last week."
"Figure out what you want first before you come running back to me."
"You can't just come back to me whenever you get bored."
"I don't wanna be the second option anymore."
"Why do I have to beg just to see you?"
"It's like you don't wanna be with me."
"I'm not just something to pass the time with."
"Why does it feel like I'm wasting my time waiting for you?"
also if anyone treats you like this leave them right fucking now (a kind suggestion from someone who means well 😭)