Love Their Matching Outfits... Girlboss Malewife Etc Etc

What I'm gathering is that all the Kens love all the Barbies but this one Ken (Ryan's) really loves this one Barbie (Margot's) and I'm wondering if we could get a scene that's like "she's a barbie! there's millions like her!" "maybe, but to me there's only one" toy story style

<lydia leonard3

Handful of cat

(via)

At Jimmy Pesto’s Pizzeria, Trev puts up a “Closed Indefinitely “ sign up on the window. He then runs away crying.

Across the street, Linda and Teddy are watching the whole thing from inside the restaurant.

Linda: I can’t believe Jimmy Pesto got arrested. Serves the bastard right for helping organize that raid against the mayor’s office. Who hates the mayor? He’s great. Those bunch of freaks, hating the mayor.

Teddy looks to the kitchen window, hearing Bob whistle as he grills.

Teddy: Eh, I bet you’re happy, Bobby! With there being no more Jimmy Pesto and all.

Linda: Oh, don’t even get this guy started. They arrested Jimmy right across from us last night and I haven’t seen Bob happier since the kids were born.

Bob: Oh, come on, Lynn. I like to think that I had a quiet dignity to it.

Linda: You kidding? You and the kids went friggin nuts.

Flashback to last night. Jimmy is being led to a police car just as Bob sticks his head out of his home window.

Bob: Hey, Jimmy! How’s it feel knowing YOU will be out of business first?!

Jimmy just grunts, not acknowledging Bob.

Bob: What’s wrong?! No ZOOM?! Oh, that’s right! You’re too busy ZOOMING yourself to jail!

Louise pushes Bob out of the way.

Louise: Dad, please. Let a pro handle this.

She sticks her head out the window too.

Louise: Hey, Jimmy! If you’re lucky, you’ll be made the cafeteria cook! Your cooking should taste about the same as prison food!

Bob: Haha! THAT’S my little girl!

He scoops Louise up and kisses her cheek. She pretends to hate it.

Bob: I am so PROUD of you! You’re getting ice cream tonight!

Louise: Yes!

Gene: I want ice cream too!

He comes up to the window too.

Gene: Hey, Jimmy! Just a reminder that you got to poop in your jail cell! So get ready for people to see your Italian sausage!

Bob: Yes! Gene! I mean, DON’T ever say that again, but YEAH! You get ice cream too, pal!

Gene: Yeah!

Tina comes up to the window now.

Tina: Hey, Jimmy Pesto…You’re the worst!

Bob: Ha! He IS the worst!

Louise: And you’re a terrible father!

Gene: And LOVER! I assume!

Bob: Gene.

Tina: The best thing you made was Jimmy Jr!

Louise: And that’s not saying much!

Tina: Wait, what?

Bob: Oh, my god, I love my kids! You ALL get ice cream!

The kids: Yay!

Gene: Italian sausage!

Bob: Gene!

Flash forward back to the restaurant.

Bob: Okay, so I might have lost a bit more of my mind than I thought. But who cares? Lynn, it’s Jimmy Pesto! He’s gone for good! The nightmare’s over and we’ve WON!

Linda: Wha? What did we win?

Bob: We won at LIFE!

Linda: Oh, yeah.

Bob: WE’RE the ones with a successful—Well, GOOD business, a happy marriage, and great kids! Meanwhile, JIMMY is sitting his stupid butt in jail, his business is going to drizzle out of business—

Teddy, trying to match Bob’s energy: And his kids are going to be super traumatized!

Bob: What?

Linda: Oh god.

Teddy: Haha! Like, first their parents got divorced, which is a, uh, a thing that scares kids!

Bob: Teddy.

Teddy: And now their dad’s in jail! Never to see him in a normal environment again!

Linda: Aw…

Bob: Teddy, you just—

Teddy: What?

Bob: You’ve ruined the mood.

Teddy: What? No, I didn’t.

Bob: You did.

Linda: Yeah, you did, Hon.

Teddy: I was following your energy!

Bob: That wasn’t the energy.

Teddy: I was following your energy, Bob!

Bob: Celebrating traumatized kids isn’t the energy, Teddy!

Teddy: Bah!

Bob: YOU bah!

Linda: You DO gotta feel a LITTLE bad for the Pesto kids.

Bob: Well, yes, obviously. Because unlike TEDDY—

Teddy: YOUR energy, Bob.

Bob: I DON’T want kids to be traumatized. It’s not their fault that they’re Jimmy’s kids. But for Jimmy himself? SCREW him! It’s the end of an era! The JIMMY era! Now, it’s the start of the BOB era! And it starts with THIS!

He then runs outside.

Bob: Hey, everybody! In celebration of the greatest thing, EVER, Bob’s Burgers is now fifteen percent off of EVERYTHING!

Random Passerby: What’s Bob’s Burgers?

Bob: It’s—My restaurant. It’s right behind me!

Random Passerby: Oh, the across from Jimmy Pesto’s. Hey, do you know when HIS restaurant will open again?

Bob: Oh, my GOD!

Nadja of Antipaxos from What We Do in the Shadows is going to super hell for bisexual vampire crimes!!!

requested by: Anonymous

Colin Bridgerton...

Writes with his left hand

He drinks with his left hand

He toasts with his left hand

He drinks his English Breakfast tea with his left hand (moodily)

He twirl his gal with his left hand

He-... ah.

Well, he's ambidextrous? 😉

i love that i’m like a little side character on my housemate’s blog and that his followers find me funny >:)

@qvietspvce

what they have is all i ask for tbh

why the fuck did bobs burgers do this to me they are so perfect