Me Starting To Copy The Random Noises My Friends Make

the problem is that going to bed at night feels like a chore whereas lying down for a forbidden nap at 4pm feels like the pinnacle of decadence

*young republican voice* i don’t see why my rich, rich, rich rich rich, rich rich rich rich, so fucking rich, father should have to pay for poorer boys school lunches. he could spend that money on a racism machine

a bottom-tier autistic experience is being told throughout your entire childhood that you are just an overthinker when it comes to social situations and later finding out that your friends did, in fact, hate being around you and tried to communicate that through weird little hints

"pasta only fills you up with empty calories" have you considered that it also fills me with love

told my girlfriend that if she proposes i want a secondhand wedding ring. i explained i don't want to contribute to a vanity-based industry like diamond mining, and that it would be important to me to continue marriage traditions in a way that causes minimal environmental and personal harm. she asked me if i was just trying to roll the dice on obtaining a haunted object, and i told her i can want two things.

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

oh he will be