Aww, They All So Silly! I Love It!

This is the result of a person who loves Cursed and Sabrina Carpenter. I couldn't resist, this was totally what Gawain wanted to say in this scene and you can't convince me otherwise.

Plus with the same song just because he looked extremely indignant in that same scene.

Song: Slim Pickins by Sabrina Carpenter

@lancedoncrimsonwings

Thanks for the tag @lancedoncrimsonwings! tagging @dinogod @warlocklawyer666 @the-tav3rn-0wner @moyavince

1 - What's the origin of your blog title?

First my username was "Vaquinha-de-cogumeinhos" which traduces to "Lil-murshrooms-calf" inspired by my obcession with minecraft and murshrooms when i was 11, but then i changed to "beginning-writer" cause i figured to use a more straight away and inglish username in an INGLISH PLATAFORM would make it easier for people to understand what my blog was for and to write when tagged.

2 - OTP(s) + their shipname

Lancewain; Lancelot x Gawain (weeping monk and green knight, and also in the original literature. They fucking gay in a glass closet fucking eachother. Sorry not sorry.)

Bigheart (i don't know if they have a shipname i just call them like that); Lancelot x Galehaut (Arthurian Literature)

StrechedHeart; Lancelot x Galehaut x Gawain (this one is from my own universe with them, but still, why not, right? Again Arthurian literature)

Odypen; Odysseus x Penelope (The odyssey and epic - the musical)

Sharpwolf; Telemachus x Antinous (just the epic musical and do not ask me why i ship them, just yes.)

Scisaac; Scott x Isaac and Sterek; Derek x Stiles. (teen wolf)

Milovier; Milo x Olivier (Ordem paranormal or Paranormal Order, Celbit RPG)

3 - favourite color?

Pink, Yellow and red

4 - Favourite game(s)?

Minecraft, Hollow knight, five night ta freddy's (but just until the 6th one), Mario Bros, Sonic, Midnight club, God of war, and some more i forgot how to write in inglish.

5 - What song is currently stuck on your Head?

Beat It! by Michael Jackson

6 - Weirdest habit/trait?

I can't sit properly in a chair. You'll see me with butterfly feathers, with my knees against my chest, one knee supporting my chin and the other butterfly, sitting like a hen hatching egg, with my butt on the edge of the chair and my legs stretched out or with my torso lying on the table and my butt correctly filling the right space. But you will NEVER see me sitting correctly in a chair even in public.

6 - hobbies

Drawing, dancing, painting, acting, writing, currently crafts, sewing. Anything artistic really, I'm practically a craftswoman at this point.

7 - If you work, what's your profession?

No work

8 - If you could have any job you wish, what would It be? Realistically?

✨Acting✨. Being an actress has been my permanent dream since I was 12. I know the difficulties and how nothing is perfect, but even so, it continues to be my dream job.

9 - something you're good at

Arts. Basically in all my hobbies. And also in history cause i love throwing random facts at people

10 - something you're bad at

Math. And anything related to exact sciences. And for some reason I'm also terrible at finding my way around with directions and streets using their names. Like, don't give me the name of the street, just give me the damn known reference on it!

11 - Something you love

One of my gods ☀️Apollo☀️, and so far the only one. Me, because loving yourself is important and I do it very well. My boyfriend. My dog. Arts and Daniel Sharman because I love all the roles he plays and how random is all I find of him around.

12 - Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff

Literally anything, I talk a LOT and very fast. But especially drawings. Or animals! Literally anything as you can see.

13 - Something you hate.

MATH. And Intolerant and homophobic people who keep talking about me. Please don't talk about my religion or sexuality. I'll cry 🥺

14 - something you ✨collect✨

The seal on soda or beer cans

15 - something you forget😓

All my schoolwork and I only hear about it again the day before I hand it in.

16 - What's your love linguage?

Handmade gifts and physical touch. And words of affirmation every now and then.

17 - Favourite move/show

I can't just decide One, but i'm going with Cursed and Ordem paranormal.

18 - Favourite food

The pepperoni lasagna that my dad makes and the snowy banana pizza.

19 - Favourite animal

Sharks, dogs and horses, and of course reptiles. Don't make me choose a reptile, I can't.

20 - How where you like as a child?

Lively and, oddly enough, i over talked a lot and was studious. But i was also kind of lonely since I was the only girl on the street where I lived.

21 - Favourite subject at school

History and English

22 - Least favourite subject

Mathematics, chemistry, physics and biology.

23 - What's your ✨best✨ character trait?

I am an adaptable and cultured person. Alternative? I know. Nerd? RPG and anime are my area. Intelligent? Learning and teaching is my thing. Artistic? I am too. My culture is so explored by me that I simply fit into everything and speak to everyone. I adapt and gather everyone.

24 - What's your worst character trait?

I am disorganized and stubborn. But I have an ✨organized disorganization✨, I know where everything is and it is perfectly fine that way. And my stubborn head has always been a problem, but I am trying to improve.

25 - If your could change any detail in your life right now, whit would It be?

My mental disorganization. This is a vicious cycle problem, if I don't help my mental health my grades drop, but if I care about my grades my mental health drops. I'm undergoing treatment to try to balance this out, but it's been the biggest challenge of the last two years. I just want to speed up the process and get rid of it once and for all.

26 - If your could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

My grandparents. I only knew my maternal grandfather, I wish I had known my maternal grandmother and my two paternal grandpatents. All three of them died before I was born and everyone always talks about how cool they were. I wish I could have met them.

Get to know your mutuals Game

Oooohh thank you for the tag @holy3cake

No pressure tagging @gwalch-mei @beginning-writer + OPEN TAG FOR ALL to answer these 27 random questions, I'll put a blank version in the comments!

What's the origin of your blog title?

Originally, "OnCrimsonWings" is my Ao3 username, which was a poetic kinda reference to Dante from Devil May Cry because his demon form has red wings. When I made this blog I knew I wanted it to include a reference to Lancelot/The Weeping Monk, so I just added "Lanced" to the Ao3 name.

It works on so many levels- as I also like winged Whumpees as a trope in general, and the name to me brings an image of a winged creature or person pinned by something sharp through the wing. It also works more as a poetic angel metaphor for Lancelot, as he's referred to as a dark/avenging angel in the role he's been molded into by the Church in Cursed, a role which is ultimately his downfall, like a fallen angel with crimson, or bloodied wings...

OTP(s) + Their shipname;

Lancewain; Lancelot (The Weeping Monk) x Gawain (The Green Knight) from Cursed

Melvik; Mel x Viktor from Arcane (also Jayvik; Jayce x Viktor, and Meljayvik; Mel x Jayce x Viktor)

Zaundads/Vanco; Vander x Silco from Arcane

BuckyNat/WinterWidow; Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow) x Bucky Barnes (The Winter Soldier) Marvel

Gwaenyra (Gwayne x Rhaenyra; House of the Dragon)

Colonel Everett Young x Dr. Nicholas Rush; Stargate Universe - I actually never really saw a shipname for these guys or I've forgotten it if I did know one

There's a bunch of others but that will do for now lmao

Favourite colour?

Purple!

Favourite game/s?

The Witcher 3, Skyrim, currently enjoying Monster Hunter, though the thing I have most hours in might actually be Fall Guys...

What song is currently stuck in your head?

In Maidjan by Heilung, I'm excited to see them live again soon!

Weirdest habit/trait?

I sit like a goblin in any and all chairs. (Except for when I'm physically tattooing, or in a formal meeting. Otherwise? If there is a chair I will be perched on it like a bisexual ass Goblin 100% of the time).

Uhhh and I can bend the first knuckle (closest to the fingertips) on my fingers whilst keeping the second/middle knuckles perfectly straight/locked.

Hobbies:

Playing piano, making cosplays, making chainmail, listening to music, playing D&D, keeping snakes and also doing Archery, as of late!

If you work, what's your profession?

Tattooing- for the next two weeks anyway. I also volunteer at my local zoo and do commission pet portraits!

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Realistically?

Tattooing but at a studio with a working toilet, repaired roof and decent non falling apart floors, where I am NOT the sole member of the studio 😂

Otherwise, doing something arty like making things or running my small buisness full time. Or if all goes well with this insane Uni plan I have, then working with snakes in some way shape or form. Not sure how, yet but. I dunno, it might be cool.

Something you're good at:

I'm a really creative person and I come up with a lot of really cool ideas!

Something you're bad at:

Maths, I mean I just struggle with numbers in general. And telling my left from right 😂

Something you love: 

Daniel Sharman. I mean. Look at him man's stunning

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: 

Snakes! And I did that when I took the snakes in to Scouts and taught them about snakes with not much prep time at all 😂

Something you hate:

People trying to control other people or put their views on them. (Eg. Very religious people that try and force you to believe their religion. Or Antis that hate on a fictional trope or ship or theme and think no one is allowed to read or write it. That sort of thing)

Something you collect: 

Books! I have several hundered, at this point, and that's after having to bin about 300 due to severe damp in a previous house.

Something you forget: 

I dunno. I forgot

What's your love language?

Giving gifts, I think, but I also like touching/leaning on people who I love (only when my skin doesn't feel bruised, which is basically always, and honestly most of the time I'm touch averse lmao). I'm not really sure.

Favourite movie/show: 

Movie; Labyrinth, Lost Boys, Avatar I & Avatar II: the way of water, LOTR Trilogy

Show; Arcane, The Witcher and Cursed

Favourite food:

I really like homemade stew and mash, but I can't make it (thanks fatigue) so I haven't actually had it in years. I love roasties (roasted potatoes) with copious amounts of butter on.

Favourite animal:

Snakes! Specifically I love Dumeril's Boas, Madagascan Ground Boas- and have one of each myself- and I have a soft spot for Boelen's Pythons and European Adders!

What were you like as a child? 

Always daydreaming in my own little world, shy, but also I had anger issues at the age of 4... so a bit of a shitbag lmao.

Favourite subject at school?

Art or Science, though I also liked music!

Least favourite subject: 

Maths. I always used to get yelled at for refusing to do homework, and for drawing in my book and putting my headphones in to listen to music. (It was actually helping me focus, but the fact I had ADHD was completely missed so I just got yelled at for it. I still got a B in my GCSEs though so fuck em!)

What's your best character trait?

I'm incredibly organised (because if I wasn't my life would be an absolute shambles as my memory is shit), and I'm very good at problem solving! If character trait more means "personality" then it would probably be that I am a very caring person.

What's your worst character trait?

I can be very stubborn and headstrong paired with the fact I am a control freak and like things organised, then that tends to frustrate both the people around me and myself...

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?

I'd cure my disabilities. Just so I could continue tattooing and take on the studio- or just open my own elsewhere, or I'd go get a career out in the field with snakes and not have to worry about fatigue, collapse, pain or dietary issues wherever I went!

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

Chester Bennington, 100%. I miss him. It's one of the biggest regrets of my life that I was meant to go and see him live on that final tour and I couldn't afford the tickets thanks to an unexpected bill. He was, and still is my hero.

Cursed X Epic musical

Something that makes sense in my head, but it's also too sad and accurate so i want to share with other people.

I was scrolling through my For You on Tik Tok and a video of a song from the Ithaca saga that wasn't released yet appeared. The song was Penelope's reunion with Odysseus, the last song of the whole musical. And then my Lancewain ass beats me with a: "This is totally Lancelot in every way."

Just listen. (Vídeo belongs to @_kodybread on tik tok)

This is clearly a Weeping Monk having a crisis and questioning his worth, and Gawain is there trying to assure him that despite everything he has value and is worthy of being loved, while hugging him with the greatest amount of force he can without hurting him because Lancelot does not have good mental health and despite the problems, physical contact is important to him when he is in crisis.

Lancelot is clearly crying in Gawain's lap, curled up in a shaking ball in his arms and lap, and questioning every little act of affection he and Squirrel show him cause he is an 'bloody and empty monster'. And then he releases the damned excerpt (obviously adapted from the song's lyrics):

"How could you fall in love whit me, again? If you know all i've done. The things i can not change... How could you love all the same? I know that you've been waiting... Waiting for love..."

And Gawain just hugs him tighter and lists all the reasons he loves him, and every reason he fell in love with Lancelot, the infamous Weeping Monk.

My heart is bleeding so it is my duty to make anyone who reads this post bleed too.

@lancedoncrimsonwings

it's official, i don't how to start a chapter anymore. Like, why is writing so difficult? Why can't my ideas and thoughts just write themselves on my computer? WHY DO I HAVE TO WRITE THEM?!?! THEY WERE THE ONES WHO APPERED WITHOUT ASKING! Ugh

Seeking a book to read this winter break?

Brand "New" List of Additions to the Arthurian Preservation Project Archive

In time, all books will be added to my Retellings List or Medieval Literature List respectively, and possibly a third page for handbooks/informational resources. Retellings may be under construction for a bit as I reformat to accommodate the influx in links. There are some duplicates—Alan Lupack's and Mike Ashley's anthologies occasionally contain a one-off story I've otherwise included in an individual volume of collected works by the author.

Links connect to corresponding PDFs on my Google drive where they can be read and downloaded for free. But if you like what I do, consider supporting me on Ko-Fi. I haven't yet read these listings in full; I cannot attest to their content or quality. A big thank you to @wandrenowle for the help collecting!

Modern Retellings

Merlin in Love by Aaron Hill (1790) — Opera about Merlin & his love interest Columbine.

The Fortunate Island by Max Adeler (1882) — A family shipwrecks on an island only to discover its populated with Arthurian knights, including Dinadan, Bleoberis, & Agravaine.

Sir Marrok by Allen French (1902) — Werewolf knight.

The Story of Sir Galahad by Mary Blackwell Stirling (1908) — Illustrated retelling of Malory's Grail Quest.

The Story of Parzival by Mary Blackwell Stirling (1911) — Illustrated retelling of Eschenbach's Parzival.

Stories From King Arthur and His Round Table by Beatrice Clay (1913) — Illustrated retelling of Malory.

Cloud Castle and Other Papers by Edward Thomas (1922) — Contains two Arthurian entries: the story Bronwen The Welsh Idyll about Agravaine & his lady Bronwen, & the essay Isoud about the Prose Tristan.

Collected Poems by Rolfe Humphries (1924-1966) — Contains Dream of Rhonabwy about Owain & Arthur's chess game, A Brecon Version about Essylt/Trystan, Under Craig y Ddynas about Arthur's "sleeping" warriors, & The Return of Peredwr about the Grail Hero's arrival to court.

Peronnik the Fool by George Moore (1926) — The quest for the Holy Grail based on Breton folklore.

The Merriest Knight by Theodore Goodridge Roberts (1946-2001) — Anthology of short stories all about Dinadan.

The Eagles Have Flown by Henry Treece (1954) — A third Arthurian novel from Treece detailing the rivalry between Artos & Medrawt, with illustrations this time.

Launcelot, my Brother by Dorothy James Roberts (1954) — The fall of Camelot from Bors perspective, as a brother of Launcelot.

To the Chapel Perilous by Naomi Mitchison (1955) — Two rival journalists report about the goings on in Camelot.

The Pagan King by Edison Marshall (1959) — Historical fiction from the perspective of Pagan King Arthur.

Kinsmen of the Grail by Dorothy James Roberts (1963) — The Grail Quest but Gawain is Perceval's step dad.

Stories of King Arthur by Blanche Winder (1968) — Illustrated retelling of Malory.

Drustan the Wanderer by Anna Taylor (1971) — Retelling of Essylt/Drustan.

Merlin's Ring by H. Warner Munn (1974) Gwalchmai is a godson of Merlin's that uses his ring to travel through the magical & real worlds.

Lionors, Arthur's Uncrowned Queen by Barbara Ferry Johnson (1975) — Story of Arthur's sweetheart & mother of his son, Loholt.

Gawain and The Green Knight by Y. R. Ponsor (1979) — Illustrated prose retelling of SGATGK poem.

Firelord (#1), Beloved Exile (#2), The Lovers: Trystan and Yseult (#3) by Parke Godwin (pseudonym Kate Hawks) (1980-1999) — Book 1 Arthur, book 2 Guinevere, book 3 Trystan/Yseult.

Bride of the Spear by Kathleen Herbert (1982) — "Historical" romance retelling of Teneu/Owain.

Invitation to Camelot edited by Parke Godwin (1988) — Anthology of assorted Arthurian stories from authors like Phyllis Ann Karr & Sharan Newman.

Arthur, The Greatest King - An Anthology of Modern Arthurian Poems by Alan Lupack (1988) — Anthology of modern Arthurian poetry by various authors including E. A. Robinson, William Morris, C. S. Lewis, & Ralph Waldo Emerson.

The White Raven by Diana L Paxson (1988) — "Historical" romance retelling of Drustan/Esseilte.

Merlin Dreams by Peter Dickinson (1988) — Illustrated by Alan Lee.

The Pendragon Chronicles edited by Mike Ashley (1990) — An anthology of Arthurian stories, including some translations such as the Lady of the Fountain, and retellings by John Steinbeck & Phyllis Ann Karr.

Grails: Quest of the Dawn edited by Richard Gilliam (1992-1994) — Anthology of Grail Quest stories.

The Merlin Chronicles edited by Mike Ashley (1995) — Anthology about Merlin from authors like Theodore Goodridge Roberts & Phyllis Ann Karr.

The Chronicles of the Holy Grail edited by Mike Ashley (1996) — Anthology about the Holy Grail from authors like Cherith Baldry & Phyllis Ann Karr.

The Chronicles of the Round Table edited by Mike Ashley (1997) — Anthology of assorted Arthurian stories from authors like Cherith Baldry & Phyllis Ann Karr.

Sleepless Knights by Mark H Williams (2013) — 1,500 years have passed but Lucan the Butler’s still on the clock.

Medieval Literature

Three Arthurian Romances (Caradoc, The Knight with The Sword, The Perilous Graveyard) [This is on the Internet Archive & cannot be downloaded. If someone could help with that, lmk!] translated by Ross G. Arthur

Le Bel Inconnu (The Fair Unknown) translated by Colleen P. Donagher

Segurant The Knight of the Dragon (Portuguese) edited by Emanuele Arioli

An Anglo-Norman Reader by Jane Bliss

Stanzaic Morte Arthur / Alliterative Morte Arthure edited by Larry D. Benson

Sir Perceval de Galles / Ywain and Gawain edited by Mary Flowers Braswell

Sir Gawain: Eleven Romances and Tales edited by Thomas Hahn

Prose Merlin edited by John Conlee

The Middle English Breton Lays edited by Eve Sailsbury & Anne Laskaya

Il Ciclo Di Guiron Le Courtois Volumes 1-7 (Italian)

Wace's Roman de Brut / Layamon's Brut by Robert Wace & Eugene Mason

Arthurian Literature by Women edited by Alan Lupack & Barbara Tepa Lupack

Handbooks

Studies in the Fairy Mythology of Arthurian Romance by Lucy Allen Paton (1960)

A Companion to the Gawain-Poet edited by Derek Brewer (1990)

The Mammoth Book of King Arthur edited by Mike Ashley (2005)

A Bibliography of Modern Arthuriana 1500-2000 by Ann F. Howey & Stephen R. Reimer (2006)

*Throw Lancelot homosexually thinking about Gawain at you and run.*

It’d been a month since NightPearl had adopted Lancelot as it’s mother. He didn't mind at all, in fact he found the little dragon adorable. It would sneak anywhere it could find, and its favorite place was his lap. The only problem was when it brought a dead rabbit in the tent and he had to throw it away, but other than that it was perfect.

On days like today, when he was lying on his back, NightPearl would come and sprawl on his chest, enjoying every fraction of Lancelot's natural warmth that it could get, while Lancelot caressed its long body and just listened to Squirrel’s nonsense or listened to Gawain's voice. He never really paid attention to what Gawain said, it was usually something boring about what the council was thinking about him or about his wounds, instead he paid attention to his voice, which was much more engaging than what was friendly allowed.

Sometimes Pym would make a joke about how Gawain would be jealous of NightPearl for being able to snuggle into Lancelot's chest while the two of them couldn't even sleep in the same bed. The monk always rolled his eyes and said it didn't make sense, even though his stupid heart beat a little faster every time he heard that. And thank God NightPearl didn't understand what the redhead was saying or it would bite Gawain from head to toe. He and Gawain barely saw each other, nor did they speak to each other properly, since talking was not something that Lancelot was taught to do often. It was not even part of his routine.

The world around Lancelot has never been so calm, and so boring. He was used to leaving very early, around six in the morning, half past six if he was feeling particularly lazy, and going to track the fey by tracks and scents. At ten o'clock he would return to camp and make an oral report of everything achieved, go to the fields to train for two hours, then go for lunch, have lunch, and leave again. After lunch he would go to the already tracked tribes, this time with a group of paladins, and would decimate and burn whatever they found. At sixteen hours he would escape from the rest of the paladins and take a secret bath to remove the excess dirt and blood that bothered his senses and skin. At seventeen o'clock he would be back at church and praying something particularly long, if it were Saturday he would pray a rosary, if it were Sunday he would be at mass. After mass, or pray, there is dinner, but if it were Saturday he would be fasting. Ten or nine o'clock at night he should already be in bed, because it's a few hours before Salt's torture sessions start and he would at least get a good rest if he slept earlier.

There is nothing in his routine about talking to anyone, except about reports and prayer, but only because it was part of his job and he should always seek God daily.

But now, with the fey, his entire meticulously memorized routine were thrown into the fifth of hells. Now his routine consisted of: Waking up, being forced by Gawain to eat breakfast followed by a lecture on why it’s important to eat every meal, then listening to Squirrel tell a story, lunch, Polly, actually now Pym, coming to check on his injuries. And now Pym stayed and told him about something that happened while she was with the Raiders or some new gossip at camp, which is strangely interesting. Squirrel arrives again, tells ‘em about his day. Gawain arrives with dinner for everyone, they talk and Lancelot is grateful for not being included, gods know how much he hates interacting while eating. Dinner ends, Pym and Squirrel go somewhere else, Gawain stays and cleans his injuries. They don't say anything, just stand there in the only alone moment they have. Gawain slowly cleans his broken skin with a wet cloth, his body closer than he had ever let any man or woman get close to him, he could hear his breathing behind him, The drops of water running down his back make him shiver, and he could feel Gawain's intense gaze on him the entire time. His careful hands went all over the length of his back before slowly pulling away. Gawain pulls away and tells Lancelot that it is ten o'clock, his usual bedtime. Lancelot turns and covers himself with the sheet that Squirrel stole for him on the first day, but that doesn't stop him from faintly hearing the other man change his clothes on the other side of the tent. The boots being thrown away, the shirt being taken off and discarded, the belt being left aside, the pants coming down his legs, as well as the new pants being put on, but no sound of the shirt being put on, Gawain did not sleep with his shirt on, and finally the sound of him laying down on the mattress and covering himself. He listens to every movement every night. Not that he was a pervert, he just had no option.

Now, NightPearl always comes and snuggles up to him, which makes his heart progressively slow down. God, what kind of demon did he come to live with to leave him like this? He would embarrass himself by the end of the year at this rate. Damn Gawain for having sounds so- NO! He couldn't think that! They are just tentmates, nothing more. Lancelot would curse Venus and Cupid before going to sleep, they are two motherfuckers for doing this to him.

 And on his worst days, Lancelot would have an unwanted dream about those sounds. But the gods know he would rather cut his own tongue out than say that to anyone.

for data: Venus=Aphrodite; Cupid=Eros.

@lancedoncrimsonwings @dinogod

oooooh I didn’t know you were a tattoo artist that’s so neat! Can I ask to see what kinda stuff you draw? :o

I am indeed! Fully fledged for 3 years now.

My "day job" is tattoos;

But I'm also a traditional artist and do Pet Portrait commissions as well.

I also make chainmail and other things, but that's more of a hobby!

I may be pausing the tattooing to go to Uni as I never went, (instead I did 2x 2 year college courses - Art&Design and Fashion respectively - whilst I began an Apprenticeship!) but if my health can take it I hope to find a studio willing to take me part time whilst I study, or just make some money on pet portraits and chainmail. I intend to build a website too at some point but have been too stressed to try and get it sorted whoops ahaha.

Thanks for the ask! It was fun to ramble about my art!

Saw a post talking about how interesting it is that a large amount of the whump community (here on tumblr, at least) is asexual.

Immediately after that on my dash was a post joking about “geez what do asexuals do with all the time and energy they dont spend yearning”

Well we use that time and energy for torturing fictional characters, apparently

I was drawing.

I tried to make the face of Gawain, the green knight from Cursed.

I remember that I don't know how to draw faces and I fail miserably at making his face.

I want to kill myself and burn the drawing for this.

I remember he wears a helmet.

I put the helmet on him instead of having to draw his face and continue drawing as if I wasn't pulling my hair in pure rage just a moment ago.

I'm become happy till happend another incident. (Which hasn't happened yet)