My English Philosophy Class: Today We Are Going To Talk About John Locke

Ben's body glowed up from Sherlock to Dr. Strange

I don’t want to be alone

We spend so much time reading fanfic and theorizing this show that we forget who Sherlock Holmes really is.  He’s a man who picks on others’ sex lives as a way to joke around and fit in.  He’s a man who - contrary to what he’d want everyone to believe - actually has friends he cares deeply about.  He’s a man who knows he’s physically attractive.  He’s a man who laughs deep and long, who hugs and kisses his landlady, who spends his life helping people and asking no payment in return.  He’s a genius with a lot of baggage but he loves and feels deeper than most people do, which is why he thinks he needs to squash his emotions so often.  He’s threatened by his sentiment because it IS a large, overbearing part of himself.  He knows this, which is why he overcompensates by parading around as a sociopath who doesn’t understand sentiment at all so no one will ask him about it.  Sherlock is the man who urged everyone at the wedding to cheer up because he made them unreasonably sad and didn’t want to see them cry.  He’s the man who almost started crying along with a client who cried talking about her date that didn’t properly end things with her.  He’s the man who held a client’s hand and offered comforting support as she explained the loss of the love of her life.  He’s the man who urged a gay woman to come out of the closet to her family because love and happiness are what matter in the end.  He isn’t afraid to touch John, kiss Molly’s cheek, or receive hugs.  When John hugs him during his best man speech, Sherlock acts as if it’s the most normal thing in the world.  He even keeps talking to the crowd while John’s arms are still around him! He was comfortable enough to carry on with John’s arm around him.  Affection isn’t something scarce and foreign to Sherlock, and it certainly doesn’t frighten him.  He’s afraid of pain, heartbreak, loss, death - the things Moriarty spit at him in his mind palace - which are common with getting too close to someone.  Sherlock is a man with impulses and a porn preference, with friends and feelings.  Sherlock is not a cold, calculating machine.  Sherlock is not a brain without a heart.  Sherlock is an ordinary man.  

How long did Stephen spend in the 14,000,605 futures?

So, I was doing some thinking. 14,000,605 is a big number–big enough that it’s meaning sort of becomes unquantifiable, just like the blank looks you get when you try to explain how far the sun is from Earth. And remember, it’s canon that Stephen didn’t just see the CliffsNotes of those timelines:

“He has to physically live them, and then die in each of them, and right before he dies, he has to reset it, as we saw at the end of Doctor Strange, and do it again. And take copious notes each time he does it.” - Joe Russo

So, if every one of those timelines was a life Stephen lead, what does it translate to? What, in terms of time, is the value of all those realities?

Math time.

There are two broad designations we can sort Stephen’s ultimate futures into. The first are futures where Stephen focuses on preventing the Snap, and the second are futures where Stephen focuses on undoing a Snap that did happen. I can only imagine it takes a significant number of futures for Stephen to give up trying to keep Thanos from getting all the Stones. I’ll call that 3/5 of the futures; little less than half of them spent undoing as opposed to preventing.

Within those two broad designations, there’s another set of factors: the Dusting itself. Assuming the Blip is truly random, we can generalize that in ½ the futures, Stephen was in the dusted 50%. By definition, if Stephen (and indeed anyone) is dusted in the prevention futures, it’s game over and he abandons that timeline. That leaves us with three vague situational constants:

Okay, great. Now for the part where I get to make a couple of educated guesses. 

How long, then, is a “prevention future”? The shortest one probably starts around the length of the battle on Titan in Infinity War. From the moment Stephen returns from the time projection to the moment Thanos supposedly kills everyone and takes the Time Stone is, by my estimation, at least 45 minutes. We all know Stephen Strange is a self-sacrificial bastard (I will cite canon for this if you truly need me to but I choose to assume you aren’t blind), so he wouldn’t have considered this a true loss until Thanos retrieved the rest of the Stones in Wakanda. (The events on Earth aren’t a variable in this; Stephen can’t influence them when he’s not actually there). Let’s tack on another 45 minutes for Wakanda. 

Shortest prevention timeline: 1.5 hours

What about the longest time, then? The longest possible situation I imagine goes something like this:

Stephen & co. leave Titan and hide in the reaches of the universe

Thanos goes to Earth, kills everyone there, and probably mind-controls Wong using the Mind Stone into disclosing who has the Time Stone and preforming some sort of tracking spell to find it.

Thanos tracks down Stephen & co.

Thanos captures Stephen (”You’ll find removing a dead man’s spell troublesome”)

Torture. Extraordinary amounts of torture.

Snap

OR:

Stephen & co. portal back to Earth and collect all the remaining Infinity Stones

The Guardians help them hide the Stones amongst various parts of the universe, in pocket dimensions, behind containments, etc.

(Now I think this is a great plan, but canon dictates it has to fail so:) Thanos eventually finds the Stones.

Pain, suffering, death of Stephen & co.

Snap.

Now, Stephen spent a whole other blog-post worth of time repeatedly dying inside a time loop to save the dimension as we know it, so we’ve got to assume he doesn’t break quick under torture. Therefore, I’m going to call the longest prevention future 7 years. 

Longest prevention timeline: 7 years.

That’s quite a difference! I’m going to assume that most of the futures fall on the shorter side, and these higher futures are outliers. By standard distribution and some rather arbitrary bounding of graphs, I find the average time spent in these futures to be about 10220 hours, or approximately 1 year and 2 months. (There’s 8760 hours in a year, and in favor of underestimating instead of overestimating, I chose to assume that very few futures drifted in the 7 year direction.)

Alright, so, Stephen spends an average of 1 year and 2 months in each of the the prevention timelines. Remember, we decided about 3/5 of the 14,000,605 futures are prevention futures. That’s 8,400,363 futures. 1 year and 2 months in those futures means Stephen lived 9,800,423 years and six months in just the prevention futures. That’s a hell of a long time. 

But now, let’s do the undoing futures.

So, in 50% of these, Stephen gets dusted. He has to stick around these futures a while after that before abandoning them as failures–and a really long time to be sure, as well. So depending on how long it takes him to realize the consistent factors that lead to undoing a snap (Tony being alive, Scott coming back from the Quantum Realm, Nebula in general), he’d have quite a long time to wait in these. He’d only know to abandon them when those critical factors were undermined/killed/prevented by Thanos or other means. 

 In the One Future, he would’ve had to stick around for 5 years because of that stupid rat. But Scott’s escape from the Quantum Realm could have been hurried by Stephen mentioning that fact to Tony or somebody before Thanos Snapped. Remember, though, that Stephen would have had to live out timelines, probably a good number of them, where the rat thing happened all on its own to even know it was important. Let’s say, then, that the One Future was on the higher end of the spectrum for the length of this type of future (undoing: Stephen dusted). On average, the length of the dusted undoing futures was about 2 years. 

Blah blah blah, math math math. 2/5 of 14,000,605 is 5,600,242, and half of that is 2,800,121. 2 years in each of those futures gets us right back to 5,600,242, but years this time. 

So what about the timelines where Stephen lived? Since he knows the way the future will play out, it’s safe to assume his existence speeds those futures. I would say the longest of these (undoing: Stephen lives) is around a year. Giving up the Stone means Tony doesn’t trust him and hesitates at the wrong moment, etc. etc. etc. Stephen is killed by other factors besides the Snap in some. Thanos still has the Stones when they try and kill him to take them. On and on and on and on. 

The shortest ones would probably be no longer than a month–those Infinity Stones can really do some damage. Which means the average time in the non-dusted undoing futures is around 6.5 months.

14,000,605 * (2/5) * (½) =  2,800,121.  2,800,121 * 6.5 = 18,200,786.5. 12 months in a year means approximately 1,516,732 years. 

Adding all those sections up gives us 16,917,397 years. 

That is 208,857 lifetimes. That’s longer than humans have existed on earth. That’s about 84.6 times as long as humans have existed on Earth. If Stephen truly lived through all those futures, he’d be 1/250 the age of planet Earth itself.

Even if we take the very bare minimum and say Stephen spent only a day, on average, in those 14,000,605 futures, that’s still 38,357.8 years. If we say he only spent an hour in each of those futures THAT’S STILL 1,598.2 YEARS!!! WHAT THE FUCK????

*a series of deep breaths*

And in every single one of those futures, in every one, Stephen fought and died and killed and lived beside Tony Stark, Peter Parker, and the Guardians of the Galaxy. In every single one, he got to know them, got to understand them. Thousands upon thousands of lifetimes, and Stephen Strange grew to know the Avengers like he knew himself. 

Think about that, and think about the look on his face when he kneels to Tony’s dead body, mmhmm? 

(Thanks, I’ll just be crying for 14,000,605 years).

Tl;dr: 16,917,397 years is a reasonable, even low estimate for the years Stephen Strange lived while viewing ultimate futures. Give my sorcerer the recognition he deserves.

not dead masterpost, in case you wanted to see them all in one place. <3

Part 1 - Part 2

*whispers* the freebatch conspiracy

*waits*

Benedict, you said you couldn’t do twitter, it wouldn’t work for you, why? (x)

Those looks.

The way Sherlock is watching John as he’s buttoning up his jacket. He’s not looking at his own reflection, he’s looking at John.

And then John’s eyes flick over to him.

That’s a pretty intense look, boys.

ben c literally just has a gay aura

Spread the word!

Listen up Sherlockians, when or if the show comes back, we all have to be like "LAZURUS IS GO" because I've just been reminded that we're all being Reichenbached and if or when the show comes back, we need to come back with a bang.

You've heard of the Mishapocolypse, let's do a Sherlockalypse. We'll find the most ridiculous photo of Benedict Cabbagepatch as our pfp too.