HEY HEY LISTEN THE VOICE OF THE MTA TRANSIT SYSTEM, ALL THE ANNOUNCEMENTS ON THE NYC SUBWAY LINE??
SHE'S A TRANS WOMAN AND TRANSITIONED AT 66!!!!!! THE BACKGROUND HUM OF MY CHILDHOOD, AND SHE'S LIKE ME!!!! WHAT THE FUCK
If homophobes weren't so awful to LGBT people, then maybe we'd be happier.
Today's Adventure is that I, after an unintentional 13-hour power nap,
Got woken up at 6AM by a phone call from a friend stranded in Montana because of the heat wave and almost no cell service because of their crap provider.
OhSoThat'sHowIt'sGonnaBe.jpg
Ok.
I somehow summon a week's worth of spoons and in less than 30 minutes and 5 phone calls, get them
A hotel
An appointment with a mechanic from 2 states away
A perscription refilled from 2 states away
and A Pizza
Go me.
But then it's 8AM and there are unscheduled live humans at the door and while EVERGENCY MODE is still on, I have already blown through a ton of spoons, and also probably shouldn't meet whoever it is wearing just a pair of bootyshorts that say "CRYPTID" in Gothic Font on my ass.
So I greet them in those shorts and a T-shirt that I manage to put on both inside out and backwards
#nailedit
It is, Fortunately, not the mormons.
it is, Unfortunately, two UPS guys trying to deliver my other in-house friend's new phone except the new guy doesn't know how to operate the "sign for package" device, and the old guy that's supposed to be mentoring him is like, 92, deaf as a post, and doesn't actually know how to operate the device either.
by the way
it is already
over 100 out
it takes almost 30 minutes to sign for the phone
when i get back inside, i discover that apparently the Corgi has learned how to open his kennel from the inside because he is now out of the kennel and waiting for me to come in.
he also has cat litter all over his face because while he was waiting for me he also learned how to open the baby gate to the cat's room and help himself to a cat shit breakfast.
He'll be fine
He's a cattle dog, they're legally required to have at least 1 really disgusting snack they love.
but
more to the point
i have no idea at what point he learned to open his kennel from the inside
has he been staying there out of politeness this whole time??
And
I got other shit to do today.
namely.
I'm seeing a realator
The Devils most pathetic yet effective demons
I get a reminder text that I have an appointment with her
at least
I think that's what it is because what she sends me is: "🏡⏰12:00 ❔"
With the time typed in the middle like that.
She is, according to her profile, at least 80.
so I reply "😎👍"
and then she sends me a string of GODDAMN POST-MODERN EMOJI HEIROGLYPHICS THAT TAKE UP MY ENTIRE SCREEN.
She's on an iPhone so half of them don't even translate across platforms
It takes me half an hour and three different software programs and goddamn wingdings to translate, but she has sent me the address and rules about masking and not wearing shoes inside.
in emoji
instead of like
literally any other format
I am
FASCINATED
and simply must meet the woman so if I don't come back to update I got stolen by the fairies but I'm taking the Corgi with me as protection so I'll see y'all later.
The complete Hatchetfield-verse poster set
All of these are up on my Redbubble if you would like to buy a sticker or poster of these designs!!!
@stvksn on ig
my dad sent me this tweet with zero likes or retweets so i can’t rt it without feeling weird but i sure can post it on my tumblr
LOVE.
The monologue from Barbie:
"𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯.
𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩. 𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦, 𝘸𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘣𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘺, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘩𝘰𝘸, 𝘸𝘦'𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨?
𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩𝘺, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘉𝘌 𝘛𝘏𝘐𝘕.
𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘴.
𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘴𝘴, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯.
𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘴𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦'𝘴 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘴.
𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘯 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦.
𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰, 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘣𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦.
𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘯'𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘐𝘕𝘚𝘈𝘕𝘌, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵, 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨!
𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘯, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘥, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘈𝘓𝘞𝘈𝘠𝘚 𝘚𝘛𝘈𝘕𝘋 𝘖𝘜𝘛 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘈𝘓𝘞𝘈𝘠𝘚 𝘉𝘌 𝘎𝘙𝘈𝘛𝘌𝘍𝘜𝘓. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘺𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘮 𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘥, 𝘴𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘈𝘓𝘚𝘖, 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘣𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭!
𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘭𝘥. 𝘕𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦 𝘳𝘶𝘥𝘦. 𝘕𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘧𝘧. 𝘕𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧𝘪𝘴𝘩. 𝘕𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯. 𝘕𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘭. 𝘕𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳. 𝘕𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘖𝘜𝘛 𝘖𝘍 𝘓𝘐𝘕𝘌. 𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥! 𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢 𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘢𝘭 𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘴 '𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶!' 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵, 𝘪𝘯 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘵, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵.
𝘐'𝘮 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘪𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘴, 𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘶𝘴.
𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵, 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘥𝘰𝘭𝘭 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸."
I just read that Donald Trump and his circus took down a website called reproductiverights.gov
This was a website to help women learn about their reproductive rights in the US and to find health care.
This is absolutely disgusting so I’ll share in this post some resources in case you need them:
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn
Sometimes in a crowded mallI realize that everyone has a life of their ownAnd it’s like seeing infinity ignoring itself.
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