Me On A Tuesday

If you’re scrolling through tumblr trying to distract yourself from something you don’t want to think about or you’re looking for a sign that everything will be okay, this is it. So, breathe. Relax into this moment. You’re alive & that’s all that matters.

I’m Trying to Get Angry But I’m Very Tired and All I Can Manage is Deep, Unyielding Sorrow: A Memoir

All you fuckers are like “pop tarts are ravioli!” “Uncrustables are ravioli!”

I will hit you in the face with the concepts of convergent evolution and analogous structures

i dont even care what day it is. i found it. i found them

fingers in his ass sunday

FUCK silverfish

sooooo can yall help me determine if this is a fireable offense

tumblr ads until 2018: look at this weird submarine look at this weird fish look at this weird airplane! do not approve this ad fhgjafdahjdkg1. insurance discounts for seniors 85+!

tumblr ads 2018-2022: buy disney buy aamazon buy hulu buy disneysplus buy netflix you should kill yourself now. buy amazon

tumblr ads 2022: shave your balls!!! buy a bong! pray with an app! shave your fucking balls!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

there will be a moment when you realize you are more grown up than your parents are. this is the loss of childhood, my love. it is when you’re standing in the kitchen and one of your parents is screaming about something and you recognize: you will let them win the fight not because you are wrong, but simply because you know that they will keep shouting unless you drop the subject. you expect them to have childish understandings of things. they will hold onto their concept of the world as if it was not a changing thing. they must be right, and they must be somehow more right than you, always, in everything. their idea of control is so necessary to who they are that you just let it go.

this is the moment. you are 11 or 17 or 21. and you realize that you’re more mature than they ever were. 

and in some odd, sad way, this frees you. where they have stagnated, you continue.