Berriemilku - 𔒌

the sexual tension betwen me and never speaking to anyone again

Jenny Slate, Little Weirds

“If anyone had opened his arms to me, I would have wept like a child.”

— Albert Camus, Death in the Soul

Alice Notley, In the Pines

Felt this a little too much

Are You Dissociating?

Dissociating is one of the most common responses to abuse and trauma. It involves feeling numb, detached or unreal and (while it happens to everyone once in a while) is experienced more frequently and severely in survivors. Dissociating people vary widely in symptoms and may experience any or all of the things from the following list.

You may be dissociating if you:

find yourself staring at one spot, not thinking anything

feel completely numb

feel like you’re not really in your body, like you’re watching yourself in a movie.

feel suddenly lightheaded or dizzy

lose the plot of the show or conversation you were focused on

feel as if you’re not quite real, like you’re in a dream

feel like you’re floating 

suddenly feel like you’re not a part of the world around you

feel detached and far away from other people, who may seem mechanical or unreal to you

are very startled when someone/something gets your attention

completely forget what you were thinking just a moment ago

suddenly cover your face or react as if you’re about to be hurt for no reason

can’t remember important information about yourself, like your age or where you live

find yourself rocking back and forth

become very focused on a small or trivial object or event

find that voices, sounds or writing seem far away and you sometimes have trouble understanding them.

feel as if you’ve just experienced a flashback (perhaps rapidly) but you can’t remember anything about it.

perceive your body as foreign or not belonging to you

(likes and reblogs always taken as support)

I don’t wanna get out of bed. I don’t wanna eat. I don’t wanna go to work. I don’t want to go anywhere. I just wanna fall asleep and never wake up.

*covered in blood* i will.... *trembling* CHOOSE TO BE KIND... *in pain* i will be... NICE to others... *wanting to kill* i will see good in EVERYONE *yelding a knife* i will NOT be like those who hurt me... *screaming* i will be BETTER than who i was...

“Being a self aware borderline is honestly the most painful thing I have experienced,

because I know the car is about to crash, I can feel the breaks not working I can feel the panic and the fear setting in I feel the pending doom I can see the disaster just up ahead..unable to stop the vehicle or get out just strapped in and forced to watch myself crash into everyone and everything hurting me and hurting those closest to me. Those most precious and important to me. I am not innocent and i am not running away.”