I still have some thoughts about season 3, and I'm sure as hell gonna throw them out there.
So, after watching the new season I realised something with full force. Up until now I felt kinda bad about thinking critically about Eric's choices.
But oh, not anymore do I feel bad about it.
Because you see, seeing as his personality basically went to the shitter this season at first I thought "hey, that's so unexpected!". But then I realised, it wasn't unexpected at all.
A lot of people gave Adam shit back in season 2, because Eric cheated with him on Rahim.
But like... Eric cheated on Rahim.
It was Eric's decision to:
1. Kiss Adam during detention.
2. See him when he reached out after coming back from military school, throwing pebbles at Eric's window that first time.
And it was Eric's decision to continue meeting Adam at night behind Rahim's back, the pieces of broken porcelain on his nightstand a testament to the fact that he kept on making the choice to go back to Adam despite being in a relationship already.
And then, he said Adam's full of shame and that, essentially, he can't be with him if Adam isn't out.
So, Adam came out to the entire school, by declaring his feelings for Eric.
But it still isn't enough for Eric.
Because now he wants Adam to come out to his mum. And Eric seems to suddenly have zero idea about how strained Adam's relationship with both of his parents is. Even though in the first two seasons he seemed really perceptive when it came to Adam. It seemed he could see right through Adam's thick shell, having at least the faintest idea that there must be something more to this guy than what meets the eye.
Adam is trying so hard to be the person that Eric wants him to be. In season 3 Rahim asks Adam "and what about you? What do you like?", and honestly, I'm shocked by how refreshing such treatment of Adam was. Because nobody except Ola seemed genuinely interested in Adam himself before, in his thoughts and what he has to say. I honestly thought I could include Eric in that little group, but now I see very clearly, that I can't, and I never really could.
And then of course there's also the issue of the two of them having sex.
Eric really wants to, and Adam does too it would seem, but he has trouble voicing what it is he actually wants.
And it just worries me, because this is the second instance of Adam being under the pressure to have specific kind of sex with his partner, and he isn't given understanding or patience in the matter.
What's bad is that it also makes it seem like only the kind of sex when you're inside someone or someone is inside you is "real" sex and real, ultimate form of intimacy, and that if you don't get that in your relationship, it somehow nullifies all other instances of intimacy that aren't inherently sexual in nature.
Can we form a prayer circle with the thought that third time's the charm and that the next person Adam's dating will be patient and understanding with him in all matters, including intimacy and sex?
Eric thinks Adam is embarrassing quite a lot in season 3, and gives him way less credit than is due. Slowly I started to realise that Eric never really saw Adam for who he was.
And Adam was trying so hard. He was learning to be vulnerable and open, he said "I love you" first, he was getting out of his comfort zone to make Eric happy. But it still isn't enough for Eric.
Because now he's at a family wedding in Nigeria and he meets a stranger who brings him to a club and kisses him.
And Eric admits to it and instead of just apologising and saying that it didn't mean anything, he says that it meant something. He says that it wasn't nothing.
Adam has been trying so hard to be someone deserving of Eric's love, and yet he wasn't enough. Again.
Do you perhaps wonder whether he heard his father's voice in his head at that moment?
Do you think that the boy he loved so much suddenly reminded him so vividly of the man who by all accounts was supposed to love him, but somehow always managed to only bring him down, make him feel like he meant nothing?
Because I do.
I think that Adam's heart got absolutely shattered on that bridge.
We'll burn the bridge when we get to it, eh?
I think that he has been feeling like less than enough for so many years, and now, suddenly having this person he loved, and who he thought loved him, he saw a little light at the end of the tunnel.
Only to have this light be snuffed out right in front of his eyes.
Because I don't think Eric really loved Adam, or that he loved Rahim for that matter. I think that perhaps Eric knew what kind of love he wanted in theory, so he was following a script he has written in his head. But when reality sets in and he gets bored, or he realises that his boyfriend isn't the way he would like him to be exactly, he goes and cheats, feeling no remorse whatsoever.
And just, I hate that. I hate that so much.
And I most of all hate the girlbossification of the moment right after he broke up with Adam. It was framed by the narrative as some sort of triumph, an "everybody makes mistakes" kind of moment. A "we're wild, young and free, let's live our lives and think of the consequences later". Not to mention that it was mixed with the atmosphere of the end of Otis' arc this season, which was feeling very life affirming given that his mum was on the brink of death, but she was now okay, and he also had his newborn little sister.
But Eric Effiong is not Hannah Montana.
He has now hurt two people in a very similar manner, all because he has not taken the time to know himself or know what he truly wants. In the end I would not be surprised if it was Eric that is actually full of shame that is just laying unresolved and covered with obscene amounts of fake confidence.
But we will see about that, won't we?
In the end, both Eric and Otis have hurt some people really badly this season, and making it feel appropriate to end the season on a high note with that thought in mind is just in poor taste in my opinion.
I really, genuinely hope that Eric will get his shit together in season 4. Because as of right now, I really cannot stand him. He used to be who I considered to be the best character on the show, but now I can say with full confidence that he is not.
Finding yourself should not be an excuse for treating people like shit. You can really do that without breaking hearts.
But I guess Eric doesn't know that, does he?
I feel like a universal young queer experience is knowing that you'll never actually get to be your true self until you're out of your parents house, everything before then is an extremely watered down version of yourself. And your parents think they know everything about you but you really have a whole other personality and they know absolutely nothing about you, or only what you want them to know. It even applies to your beliefs, religious or political.
I don't think I've seen anybody talk about how absolutely insane The Boiling Rock is from Hakoda's perspective.
Imagine getting captured, and your son tells you that you won't be apart for too long. That's sweet, but obviously your son has no resources to spare for organizing a breakout. You hope that the Avatar can defeat the Fire Lord soon - that's the earliest time you could hope to be rescued.
You get put into a temporary holding facility until the guards can sort out who is who. After a while, they put you on a prisoner transport to the Boiling Rock. Your captors try to intimidate you by telling you that it's the highest security prison in the Fire Nation, probably the whole world. It's far away from the capital.
You arrive at the Boiling Rock. It really is in the middle of a boiling lake. There's only one way in or out, and it's a gondola that takes you above the boiling lake. You meet the warden. They take you to your cell. You settle down to wait for the end of the war.
And 15 minutes later Sokka comes in like "hey dad I'm here I got the prince of the Fire Nation and an Earth Kingdom ninja leader gf ok let's go I'm busting you out"
mood
April 6, 2022
LAPD show up in riot gear to a climate protest against JPMorgan Chase to arrest 4 climate scientists.
LAPD receives $8,000,000 of public money a day.
the reason why i'll never take the argument that "fire lady katara disempowers katara" seriously is because in canon she is reduced to being aang's wife and the mother of his children and has no achievements of her own which actively disempowers her and a lot of the fics i've read with the fire lady katara headcanon have her being involved in politics which demonstrates that for the most part, zutara shippers care more about empowering katara than -GUNSHOTS.
so today was my first day back at camp and this years basically my first year where im like being a full on girl at camp and so like i was with my group today which is mostly kids whove known me for like 3 years at this point and one kid who knows me less well and like this kids 9 right so he asks me if im a boy or a girl like right off the bat cuz well, hes 9. I tell him im a girl and one of the other kids is like What!? no youre not. and im like i sure am. Another kid asks “then why were you a boy last year?” im like getting ready to figure out how the hell im gonna explain this to a kid in like 4 seconds. and then another kid asks “omg was you pretending to be a boy just an elaborate joke you and the other counselors were playing on us?!??” i just kinda stand there and im like………………………… yes. they all get cracked up because they think me pretending to be a boy was like, the funniest, most long term prank that has ever been committed to them and like i gotta say, i wholeheartedly agree that being amab is just a fucking joke.
I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.
Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.
The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.
I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.
The more I think about Aang’s attitude, the less I understand it. In my post, I said that it would be understandable (but still questionable) for Aang to leave Bumi and Kya behind if he’s going to places made for airbenders- I take it back. Not only because it’s parenting 101 that even if you believe that your child won’t enjoy a vacation, you still take them, but because I’ve come to realize that there is no such thing as airbender-only places. They don’t exist.
Think about it, what is airbender culture? Is it being vegetarian? Kya and Bumi could do that. Is it believing in absolute pacifism? Kya and Bumi could do that. Is it meditating and being spiritual? Kya and Bumi could do that. Is it being bonded with an air bison? Kya and Bumi could do that.
The only thing that is exclusive to Aang and Tenzin is bending air and even that isn’t unreachable for Kya and Bumi. Remember in ATLA when we learned that you can learn techniques from one form of bending and use them for another form of bending? Iroh famously learned a waterbending technique and used it to create lightning redirection and we saw Zuko using techniques from all 4 forms of bending in his agni kai- So why couldn’t Aang teach Kya airbending techniques and have her use them for waterbending? It would’ve been perfectly possible. Even Bumi could’ve used the same technology that Teo and Katara used to fly- Aang acknowledges that Teo is essentially an airbender, so why couldn’t Bumi do the same?
What TLOK is presenting is an immense regression for the character of Aang. Are we supposed to believe that the same Aang who saw Teo flying and exclaimed “Even though Teo is not an airbender, he really does have the spirit of one!” would look at his own children and say “Nope, you’re not an airbender and could never be one”?
If I didn’t know anything about Bryke, I would assume that they hate Aang and that this writing choice is their personal vendetta against the character- But I do know about them and I know that they love Aang more than anything, so what the fuck is this? Is it a power fantasy about being so famous and powerful that you can get away with neglecting your children?
I can’t believe that Aang stans flooded my mentions. If I were a devoted Aang stan, I would track down the showrunners and key their cars.