Bi0polarbitch - Bip0lar B!tch

I can’t stop crying tonight, I just wanna bash my head into a wall

I noticed i keep mirroring everyone else, I dont have a original personality. I guess it’s scary to not know who you are cuz you were so depressed for so long but honestly I couldn’t care less. I fit great with all my friends thanks to that and when I’m alone I don’t have to talk or do anything. I can just dance and be alone in the dark or cook dinner in my apartment or laying in the forest and looking at the stars and in these small moments of my life I feel truly happy.

But there also the other stuff that makes me sad, I think I could be happy like really happy but I can’t. I just can’t. Not now, not here

everyone is fully giving up on me, i’m so ready to end it

Zdzisław Beksiński

Crawling Death, 1973

Oil on canvas

Someone asked me what my happiest memory is.

I don't know if I cried more because I don't have one, or because I realized I don't.

Thought I could fly, So I stepped off the golden. Nobody cried, Nobody even noticed.

Today while walking through campus I felt loneliness cutting through me. As I walked to class I saw many groups of friends hanging out having a good time. Not a single person was alone except for myself. This showed me that somehow I’ve failed at something. I grew up with many of these people. I know many things about them and yet they know nothing about me. I’m always so friendly to everyone but no one is ever friendly to me. How I wished I wouldn’t have made it this far in life. It’s always been this way. Give the best of yourself to people, just so they use you and later ignore your existence. ——————————————————————————