(April 12th 2024)

currently writing an article on xenotransplantation for my school's magazine <33

Day 7/20, 27th September, 2023 – Wednesday

Hello again! (Sorry I'm late in posting, but please bear with me). Yes, so I don't usually have class on Wednesday's, but since Thursday is a religious holiday for us, they compensated the class on Wednesday. I had zoology again, and this time we did the appendicular skeleton after finishing off the last part of the axial one. It was nice :D Alongside that, I had physics class, and we started our new chapter, which is Work, Energy, and Power. After quite a while, I began understanding stuff in physics again. 😭 Either way, my exams are upon my head once more – they begin on next Tuesday, and we're kicking off this set of exams with English and Physics, which will be fun!!! (Not). Alright, see you tomorrow (I promise to click pictures soon, I swear I'm trying my best).

Day 7/14, 6th September, 2023 – Wednesday

Alright! Like I said before, I tried doing that thing where people try to block out their time and then finish as much work as they can within that amount of time, which I guess is called time-blocking??? Or something of the sort?? Either way, that's what I tried to do today. I set reminders reminding me to switch tasks at a particular time and tried to accomplish as much as I could, as seen from my previous post, I'd added 7 tasks in total. Long story short, I had to prioritise and remove 5 of those 7 tasks. And hence, I discovered that time-blocking doesn't really work for me because once I begin a task, I commit to it for as long as I can bear it. Either way, it wasn't a completely unproductive day. I finished my biology notes!! Which was important, because I have my Bio UT on the 13th, which is next Wednesday.

AMAZING I'M SO PROUD OF YOU HOLY SHIT, CONGRATULATIONS-

it just hit me that for YEARS my whole (and only) major goal was to have a book published before i turned 25. that was all baby-alex in 2018 was gunning for when we started taking writing seriously.

in the time since, my publishing journey has been HARD. i mean, it has sucked some major balls. i'm talking 'getting surprise divorced the week you're supposed to start your contracted structural edits' hard.

like, 'nobody tells you anything and if other people miss deadlines, it's your problem now and you're BEING a problem just by asking why' hard. like, 'oh, you mean you're struggling with the weight of writing/editing 6 hours a day and working enough to support yourself while dealing with a chronic illness? have you tried giving up SLEEPING?' (i wish i was joking that's a verbatim quote) hard.

but now, at the end of all that bullshit, my book comes out on february 6th.

i turn 25 on march 4th.

i did it.

QUICK. RB THIS WITH THE FIRST SONG LYRIC THAT COMES TO YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU SEE THIS POST. THAT IS AN ORDER

it's not that hard tbh- I just have no motivation whatsoever because of various reasons- but tyyy

ALSO I TAKE PHYSICS TOO- I TAKE ALL THREE SCIENCES HL SO- gl with your IA btw!!!

(also help my cw is now overdue)

SOMEONE MOTIVATE ME TO FINISH MY BIO COURSEWORK SO THAT I CAN STUDY FOR MY TRIAL EXAMS, PLEASE AND THANK YOU

first two

"Life is like a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving."

– Albert Einstein

25th October, 2023 – Wednesday

I was productive on Sunday, but Monday and Tuesday have been absolutely horrible in terms of productivity- I've gotten basically nothing done and I feel ill, so it sucks even more. I hope today's better. I hope I do better today. Wish me luck!

"Black holes ain't as black as they are painted. They are not the eternal prisons they were once thought. Things can get out of a black hole both on the outside and possibly to another universe. So if you feel are are in a black hole don't give up – there's a way out."

– Stephen Hawking

So. I had an academic awakening today. My dad and I were looking for my old end of term transcripts so that I can send them in for applications, and I genuinely remember thinking that my grades have been horrible since the 8th grade because of lockdown and stuff- but I was SO wrong. Like I could not have been more wrong than this. I thought that because I was messing up maths at the time and getting 3 and 4 out of 7 (ib myp) that all my grades were similar. BUT THEY WEREN'T???????????????? BRO I WAS CONSISTENTLY GETTING 6'S AND 7'S IN ALL MY OTHER SUBJECTS EXCEPT MATHS, OCCASIONALLY PHYSICS, AND LANGUAGE. YOU'RE TELLING ME I'M NOT ACTUALLY STUPID???? AND IT ISN'T JUST LIKE 8TH GRADE OR SOMETHING- I'VE BEEN GETTING SIMILAR SCORES CONSISTENTLY SINCE THE 7TH GRADE ONWARDS, MY TRANSCRIPTS FOR 9TH ARE ACTUALLY WONDERFUL, AND MY 10TH TERM ONE REPORT IS ALSO QUITE PHENOMENAL (I EVEN GOT A 7 IN PHYSICS THEN WTF, THE ONLY LOW SCORE I GOT WAS IN MATHS AND THAT WAS A 4, THE ONLY 4 I GOT). EVERYTHING CLEARLY WENT DOWNHILL SOMEWHERE THOUGH, BECAUSE MY TERM TWO TRANSCRIPT FOR 10TH GRADE HAS MY GRADES DROPPING (THE SCIENCES ALL DROPPED DOWN TO 5 AND THEN GOT PROGRESSIVELY WORSE IN MY PREBOARDS). THE WORST PART IS THAT I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY MY SCORES STARTED DROPPING THEN. LIKE IT WASN'T BOYS, I LIKED A BOY THEN TOO, BUT IT DIDN'T AFFECT MY SCORES. IT WASN'T SOCIAL MEDIA OR SCREENTIME OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT BECAUSE I HAD NO SOCIAL MEDIA THEN AND I WAS STILL CONSTANTLY TEXTING MY FRIENDS ALL THE TIME AND I KNEW HOW TO BYPASS ALL THE PARENTAL CONTROLS AND I WAS STILL SUPER OBSESSED WITH WHATEVER FANDOM I WAS IN???? I actually feel like my ocd started getting worse around that time and I also think that's when I started altering my sleep schedule and staying up way later than I usually would. So, in order to return to my former academic little self, I'm going to try and speak to my school counsellor about my ocd and try and fix my sleep schedule. If a younger me can do it so well and consistently, why can't older, present me? If a younger me could learn with such zeal and passion and reflect it in her scores, what's to say i can't do the same thing now too?