Wow So I Start My Last Year Of School In Less Than A Week? Ok. I See How It Is.

So. I had an academic awakening today. My dad and I were looking for my old end of term transcripts so that I can send them in for applications, and I genuinely remember thinking that my grades have been horrible since the 8th grade because of lockdown and stuff- but I was SO wrong. Like I could not have been more wrong than this. I thought that because I was messing up maths at the time and getting 3 and 4 out of 7 (ib myp) that all my grades were similar. BUT THEY WEREN'T???????????????? BRO I WAS CONSISTENTLY GETTING 6'S AND 7'S IN ALL MY OTHER SUBJECTS EXCEPT MATHS, OCCASIONALLY PHYSICS, AND LANGUAGE. YOU'RE TELLING ME I'M NOT ACTUALLY STUPID???? AND IT ISN'T JUST LIKE 8TH GRADE OR SOMETHING- I'VE BEEN GETTING SIMILAR SCORES CONSISTENTLY SINCE THE 7TH GRADE ONWARDS, MY TRANSCRIPTS FOR 9TH ARE ACTUALLY WONDERFUL, AND MY 10TH TERM ONE REPORT IS ALSO QUITE PHENOMENAL (I EVEN GOT A 7 IN PHYSICS THEN WTF, THE ONLY LOW SCORE I GOT WAS IN MATHS AND THAT WAS A 4, THE ONLY 4 I GOT). EVERYTHING CLEARLY WENT DOWNHILL SOMEWHERE THOUGH, BECAUSE MY TERM TWO TRANSCRIPT FOR 10TH GRADE HAS MY GRADES DROPPING (THE SCIENCES ALL DROPPED DOWN TO 5 AND THEN GOT PROGRESSIVELY WORSE IN MY PREBOARDS). THE WORST PART IS THAT I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY MY SCORES STARTED DROPPING THEN. LIKE IT WASN'T BOYS, I LIKED A BOY THEN TOO, BUT IT DIDN'T AFFECT MY SCORES. IT WASN'T SOCIAL MEDIA OR SCREENTIME OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT BECAUSE I HAD NO SOCIAL MEDIA THEN AND I WAS STILL CONSTANTLY TEXTING MY FRIENDS ALL THE TIME AND I KNEW HOW TO BYPASS ALL THE PARENTAL CONTROLS AND I WAS STILL SUPER OBSESSED WITH WHATEVER FANDOM I WAS IN???? I actually feel like my ocd started getting worse around that time and I also think that's when I started altering my sleep schedule and staying up way later than I usually would. So, in order to return to my former academic little self, I'm going to try and speak to my school counsellor about my ocd and try and fix my sleep schedule. If a younger me can do it so well and consistently, why can't older, present me? If a younger me could learn with such zeal and passion and reflect it in her scores, what's to say i can't do the same thing now too?

I wanna test this so if I get these goals before May I'll do them

500: I'll socialize more (FINE I'LL SOCIALIZE)

1k: I'll Work harder in school (Aw fuck)

10k: I'll come out to my Brother

20k: I'll come out to my Dad (pls no)

30k: I'll go clean for at least 6 months (PLS NO)

I'M ADDING A RULE

Only allowed 100 notes per person

THANK YOU :D @callmecarrion

GUYS I FINISHED MY EE RPF!!!!!!

Day 14/14, 13th September, 2023 – Wednesday

I apologise for the severe lack of pictures, but I promise I'll start posting some this weekend. Either way, 13th had been my last UT, biology! To be honest, I didn't do well in any of them, but I'm reconciling myself with the fact that this was primarily because I didn't know exactly what to expect and it was new for me. At least I now know what the papers may look like and how exactly I am expected to answer them. I also learnt some more about how I study/how I need to study for my tests, which is going to be very helpful in the future. This mini productivity challenge is over! For now. I'll probably start a new one soon (with pictures this time, I promise haha).

please no halloween posts just yet. there’s still 2 months left

Day 2/14, 1st September, 2023 – Friday

Today wasn't that great a day either, I worked a little on my Chemistry Lab Report and emailed my classmates the values my friends and I had gotten in the lab prior, but otherwise it was pretty slow and uninspired. I'm trying to nudge myself out of my bad habits by posting for this challenge (can you tell haha), so hopefully that begins happening soon.

"Life is like a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving."

– Albert Einstein

25th October, 2023 – Wednesday

I was productive on Sunday, but Monday and Tuesday have been absolutely horrible in terms of productivity- I've gotten basically nothing done and I feel ill, so it sucks even more. I hope today's better. I hope I do better today. Wish me luck!

A classical music playlist I made to listen to while I work.

If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.