I Have A Chronic Pain Condition:

It's always, "ew, you smoke? You should quit. Have you tried patches and gum?" and never "oh, you smoke? Do you need help organizing the working class against capitalism and the American healthcare system, so that you can eventually have access to proper mental and physical healthcare instead of being forced to rely on nicotine and weed to sand the edges off your disabled brain and get some relief for your chronic pain? In the meantime, here's a light. Sorry you have to self-medicate in our fucked-up society."

Anyway, join a union.

“We’ll figure it out together” is a love language.

Being chronically ill is like

“It’s fine”

“It’s fine”

“It’s fine”

*complete mental breakdown because you can’t do this anymore*

“It’s fine”

guess whos at risk of homelessness again :)

im not gonna get into the weeds of it because i learned this at 6am and im running on very low sleep but please help me out if you can spare any amount of money right now

im still in the middle of getting my ID shit sorted and getting a diagnosis for my disability so im unable to work, and the people im living with are becoming considerably less patient and considerably more demanding of me.

please, if you can, i just need to stay afloat so that if/when i get booted out of here i have something to fall back on, but more than anything i just need to keep hold of the precarious situation im in for just a little longer while i get back on my feet.

thank you <3

choosing to allocate spoons to hanging out and having a good time at the cost of perfectly completing all your work is not a failing it is in fact an act of survival. “too sick to work = too sick to play” is in fact ableist bullshit that you don’t have to buy into. and the fact that leisure time is treated like a privilege is a fucking travesty

Visit Norway!

Me: I don't get it. I thought I was doing a lot better than I was a few years ago. I'm like 10 times more on top of things than I used to be. How does everything feel terrible now?

The Tiny Me in OSHA-approved Hi-Vis Gear Who lives in my brain and pulls all the levers: Boss, it's the fascism. You're completely gunked up with cortisol due to the fact that your entire daily life is now underscored with a haunting awareness of the rapid erosion of your rights, dignity, and any and all social safety nets, and you're also bearing witness to the most vulnerable people immediately being persecuted. This creates a natural stress response that basically means you're going to continue having memory and organizational problems, as well as emotional imbalances.

Me: BUT I HAVE A BULLET JOURNAL AND I MEDITATE NOW.

Tiny OSHA Me: BOSS, THE FASCISM.

The mind numbing anger of chronic fatigue is getting irritable because you're so fucking tired but you really feel like you SHOULDNT BE.

You SHOULD be able to sit at a desk and do work. You SHOULD be able to just watch a freaking YouTube video. You SHOULD be able to just eat fucking lunch.

But you can't. Because your eyes are closing and it's like temporary death is taking you.