So There’s This Insane Rage And Anger

me: maybe i am not chronically ill, maybe people are right and i just need to push harder and stop being lazy

me going through a massive flare: fucking hell

not everything you want to do needs to be good or profitable. please allow yourself to just make some doodles, write an unfinished poem, read half of a book per month, be a plant mom/dad with lots of dead plants, be able to play only twinkle twinkle little star on an instrument, dance weird, take ugly and out-of-frame photos.

everything you do is valuable, specially those you do because it makes you feel good.

being autistic and traumatized is realizing that people appreciate when you say hi or bye when entering or leaving a space and having to adjust your mannerisms to be more friendly

choosing to allocate spoons to hanging out and having a good time at the cost of perfectly completing all your work is not a failing it is in fact an act of survival. “too sick to work = too sick to play” is in fact ableist bullshit that you don’t have to buy into. and the fact that leisure time is treated like a privilege is a fucking travesty

the fuck am i supposed to do??? lie???

I don't think my body realizes how healthy my labs say I am

Sorry I Spent all mY spoons this week already and it's fucking Tuesday. We're heading to the knives

There’s no such thing as work-life balance for neurodivergent & chronically ill people.

This is because everything in my life requires work:

maintaining friendships

keeping up with my hygiene

managing bills

making money

remembering my basic needs

sleeping regularly

outputting creatively

All requires some aspect of work for me.

And when everything in your life requires work, your balance goes out the window.

If you're neurodivergent and overwhelmed — I see you.

If you're chronically ill and overwhelmed — I see you.

You're not dysfunctional.

You're not incapable.

You're doing your best.

ever since i was a little girl ive fetishized coming back from the dead