Hi!!!

im always surprised how many people think venetia is the younger sibling. i feel like we get so caught up in those scenes defined as shocking and grotesque by media and pop culture at large that we skim over the quiet, lurking horrors of saltburn. poor, poor venetia, who was born first but will never be first, not to the boys, not to her parents, not to oliver, not to anyone. mommy's emotionally battered and neglected firstborn daughter. felix was born when venetia was still a baby, not even two years old, the perfect golden boy, son and heir, sun and air. and he's getting it all, the title, the estate, everything ("I will look after this house just as felix would have"). do you think they ever talked about it? which catton was getting saltburn? i dont. venetia, the butt of every joke. desperate, embarrassing, lighting her body up like a neon sign on an empty highway. if felix is the sun, venetia is the moon, shrouded in darkness when he's not near. venetia, destroying and remaking herself in her mother's eyes. always hungry, a scavenger of love, picking over felix's scraps, sucking up the detritus at the bottom of a dark, lonely ocean.

unhinged concept (I'm entering that stage): Lucilla actually does adopt Geta and Caracalla which ruins Acacius's life but also makes him their step-father and they finally get an actual father figure who teaches them how the fuck to hold swords and not be the worst people ever.

and we just cancel Macrinus entirely, which, I don't know what the hell happens to Lucius but that's someone else's unhinged concept to worry about.

And we put Caracalla on a leash because the boy cannot behave. That's no way to treat your mother

i'm literally the priest's favorite sacrificial lamb because i am so docile and sweet and i hold very still when they put the rope around my neck and i trot along so happily while they lead me to the altar and they do not even have to tie me down because i lie so very still and only bleat once or twice in my lovely lamb voice and when the knife comes down it cuts through me like butter and i offer no resistance and i bleed so prettily all over my new white wool and my guts all unspool like the most beautiful shining yarn and my eyes are animal and dumb and hold no accusation and every time i die i come right back as another little lamb because the priest loves me so so much and he always chooses me for the sacrifice every time and he always places one hand on my small and twitching nose to calm me while he lifts the knife and he doesn't do it for the other lambs only me because i'm his favorite

Pretty boy crying in his expensive silk curtains.

I want him to cry in my arms while I tell him everything is going to be okay :(

The crazy thing is that neither frank NOR gerard is even the real Paul mccartney of mcr. Like. Fans think they are, and because of that they sort of became it.. but real fans know Ray is Paul. I've unfortunately been forced to concede that gerard is John. Mikey is ringo

@mcr-reference is this an mcr reference???

At the age of 16 all witches are assigned a familiar. You are excited for yours as you see your friends turn 16 and get theirs. Cats, Crows, spiders. You are devastated to find out that out your 16th birthday, your familiar is a 27 year old hipster named Frank.

Caracalla: who is your favourite gladiator?

Geta: obviously its the one who rides rhinos

Caracalla: that's such a basic fucking bitch answer

Geta: oh you wanna real answer brother?

Geta: a guy who recited a poem and bit a monkey

Caracalla:...

Geta: look it up. that's my favourite gladiator

me and bro trying to convince a gorgeous milf to adopt us as her sons

this one?

hey does anyone have the gif of feyd kissing the baron very rapidly and then he looks straight into the camera as it turns into a blingee that says I Love You. thank you.

hello hellooo are you aware of the long long string of emails from patrick bateman to his therapist released to promote american psycho (2000). because you should be! and you should read them, they are fantastic!