CLICK HERE!!! SMALL TWINK Gets BRUTALISED By Incomprehensible Will Of Universe!!! WATCH FOR FREE!!!

daniel wake up. daniel my love the people online are making fun of me. look at this. i—yes i know you just woke up and i’m levitating over our bed in a quote unquote “ominous” way. just look. you see, they are taking this photograph of me and adding ridiculous captions. and look. daniel stop laughing please. do you honestly think that i, a five hundred year old immortal vampire, would be so easily swindled by an internet scammer? i have seen empires rise and fall. i’ve watched time, people, landscapes, all turn to dust around me. do they truly believe that i am so foolish as to—daniel you promised not to bring up the Credit Card Incident. nor the Social Security Number Incident. look at this one. daniel. daniel beloved this is serious i don’t even play minecraft that much anymore. i’ve branched out. it’s like you don’t even appreciate our tiny perfect life in the sims four. daniel. you hate our virtual child. our beautiful mr pickles the cat. is this what i have to put up with for the rest of our immortal lives? you laughing at me? daniel—

I feel like a femme queen

hello hellooo are you aware of the long long string of emails from patrick bateman to his therapist released to promote american psycho (2000). because you should be! and you should read them, they are fantastic!

Me: time for bed…. My brain: domestic Hannigram screencap edits, but if they’d been actual murder husbands since the start

Sorry for not posting so much, feeling way too whimsical rn.

What is a horse? Nobody knows

(guy who has so much fucking work to do voice) i should write a fic

the harkonnen heir? oh no you misheard me. i am concerned with the harkonnen HAIR. as in where the fuck is it

big day today

happy Thursday the 20th