#they’re in love 🥺
the mistletoe
continuation below ⬇️
My take on Spider!Wednesday
by the way, it’s real bold of hollywood to be like “the writers and actors have unrealistic expectations, but WE know what we’re doing” when they got tricked into releasing morbius in theaters a second time.
I just want queer safety and queer happiness
Wednesday: *is being arrested*
Enid: Wow. God forbid women do anything these days.
Sheriff Galpin: Kid your friend-
Wednesday: She’s my girlfriend you intolerant shit.
Thing: H-O-M-O-P-H-O-B-E
Sheriff Galpin: I’m not- whatever, your girlfriend just landed four grown men in the hospital.
Enid: And… She looked good doing it.
Wednesday: They deserved it. One of them told me to smile.
Enid: You tell him baby.
Sheriff Galpin: You know what? I can’t with… whatever this is. She’s free to go and officially your problem.
Enid: Yay!
Wednesday: *pausing mid-escape and casually handing the sheriff broken handcuffs* Miserable-night Sheriff.
Sheriff Galpin: *whispering* I hate you.
Wednesday: *also whispering* I’m glad.
Enid: Hurry up babycakes, I need my cuddle buddy.
Wednesday: *smirking* Coming Amore.
Story time:
In middle school biology, we did an experiment. We were given yams, which we would sprout in cups of water. We then had to make hypotheses about how the yams would grow, based on descriptions of yam plants in our books, and make notes of our observations as they grew.
Here’s what was supposed to happen: we were supposed to see that the actual growth of the plant did not resemble our hypotheses. We were then supposed to figure out that these were, in fact, sweet potatoes.
What actually happened was that every single student in every single class lied in their notes so that their observations perfectly matched their hypotheses. See, everyone assumed the mismatch meant they had done something wrong in the process of growing the plant or that they had misunderstood the dichotomous key or the plant identification terminology. And, thanks to the wonders of a public school education, everyone assumed the wrong results would get us a failing grade. We were trying to pass. We didn’t want to get bitched out by the teacher. Curiosity, learning, science - that had nothing to do with why we were sitting in that classroom. So we all lied.
The teacher was furious. She tried to fail every student, but the administration stepped in and told her she wasn’t allowed to because a 100% fail rate is recognized as a failure of the teacher, not the class. It wasn’t even her fault, really, though her being a notorious hard-ass didn’t help. It was a failure of the entire educational system.
So whenever I see crap like Elizabeth Holmes’s blood test scam or pharmaceutical trials which are unable to be replicated or industry-funded research that reaches wildly unscientific conclusions, I just remember those fucking sweet potatoes. I remember that curiosity dies when people are just trying to give their superiors the “right” answers, so they can get the grade, get the job, get the paycheck. It’s not about truth when it’s about paying rent. There’s no scientific integrity if you can’t control for human desperation.
Enid: I’m so angry with you, Willa!
Wednesday: I understand.
Enid: You have no idea how furious I am with you right now!
Wednesday: How long are you gonna be mad?
Enid: I have no idea!! Probably a long time!
Wednesday: How long are you going to keep holding my hand?
Enid looks down to see she’s still holding her partners hand. She quickly pulls away.
Not a second goes by until she grabs her hand again
Enid: Okay! I forgive you! I miss you so much.
Wednesday: Oh thank god, I can’t stand it when I’m not holding your hand, Mon Coeur.