There Were Many Things For Him To Regret In Life, But Nolan Always Supposed That Came With Living. It

without any hesitation, nolan reaches for the shot. they thank adrian, giving him a mischievous look before they down it, this time not even bothering to clink the small glass with other's. the spirit lifts him up, makes him stand up straighter as a small shiver goes down his spine. already he feels it working with the previous one to loosen him up. despite the muscles packed on him, nolan is a bit of a lightweight since he doesn't drink often. though lately, he's been indulging more and more. for a moment, he considers if maybe adrian has used substances as a way to blur out reality in the same way nolan has been since coming home. it almost makes him laugh. what does adrian need to run away from? his life is perfect.

taking a quick look around, nolan doesn't see anyone who catches his eye so he turns his attention back to his company. without rhodes around, nolan isn't really sure how to engage with adrian, so he has to resort to small talk. "so.. how are things? saw you swiping earlier. have you met anyone out here yet that you think will be able to tame the beast?" even as he speaks, nolan can hear how cringey the last of his words are but the vodka has already soothed his nerves enough for him not to care too much.

he's perched on nolan's couch, swiping through tinder like he swipes through insta stories -- barely paying attention. every time 'it's a match!' appears on his screen, he copy pastes and sends the exact same message: you're too fucking cute. going out tonight?

nolan's voice eventually pulls him out of his trance; a slow grin spreads over his features, visibly buzzed from pregaming at the yacht club since 2 pm. "aww, just tell me you missed me." adrian sure did; he enjoys their occasional hangouts, might even give him the drunk, sappy 'i love you, man' speech in the bathrooms of whatever establishment they end up at.

"to boy's night." he smirks, holding up the mini bottle of grey goose (or what's left of it anyway, because nolan sure took his sweet time).

--

they go to adrian's favorite club; he's chummy with the bouncer who lets them straight in, the dirty looks from the rest of the line only fueling his power trip. inside, he orders three shots, downs one by himself before bringing the other two back to nolan, "you've got some catching up to do."

knowing that serra was in town, it had become basically impossible for nolan not to seek her out anywhere he went. with what seemed all of palmview here at the beach party, he was willing to bet everything on running into her. that's what made lottie on his arm all the better. maybe it was petty and immature, but he truly believed that if she saw him with someone else, then maybe she would understand how he had felt all those years ago.

all feelings of entitlement washed away with the waves when he caught sight of her. distressed. out of habit, they felt pulled towards her, so they followed her as she slipped away from the crowd as if a string connected the two and they could only be so far apart. he could explain to lottie later. right now, his old friend needed him.

when he finally caught up to serra, nolan spoke with great tenderness. "hey. what's wrong?" he moved closer to her. like the water on the shore, whatever was washed away was also brought back; he felt compelled to bring her in his arms. he knew how to comfort her. how to ease her away from hurt to the point of laughter. but the reality of them being out of each other's lives for so long and having grown into different people had hit him hard these past few days, so he stopped himself from reaching out to her, though he was still close to her. "you can't leave yet. i was just about to bust a move. you really don't wanna' miss that." // @serraszn

“i’m glad y’all are around,” nolan tells adrian in regards to him and his brother also staying in palmview. if you asked them, nolan wouldn’t be able to say if it was sincere. maybe it was and it wasn’t. i can be complex, he thinks to himself.

on one hand, it was nice to have an old friend nearby. someone to be himself with. someone who was good at looking away from the ugly side of things. nolan didn’t want to think about los angeles, but it was getting hard to suppress the violent flashbacks of his last day there…

on the other hand, they aren’t the biggest fan of adrian. in fact, on a good day and if he wasn’t in sight, nolan would not call adrian a friend. but their mothers are friends, plus adrian’s known to make generous donations to the fundraisers nolan takes part in organizing, so keeping up appearances with the shephards has its importance.

getting the last of his things, nolan is finally ready. “okay, let’s get into some trouble,” he says with a smile, tossing a nip of adrian’s choice of spirit to him, then he twists the cap to his open. nolan holds up the mini alcohol bottle, taking a moment to think of what to toast to. “to boy’s night,” he says once he realizes he won’t be able to come up with anything better. // @adrivns

just as nolan was about to ask about any potential allergies, liv made it clear that she didn't have any. endless possibilities. they lightly tapped their index finger against their lip. he wasn't much of a sweets guy and he didn't exactly know her well enough to know her taste; the combination made it difficult to be confident in his decision. still, he liked the promise of being treated to something, so he wasn't going to back pass the opportunity. "go with..." he dragged out the last syllable as his eyes scanned the selection of pastries, "the lemon poppy muffin, it'll go good with the london fog." though he said it with assurance, noaln wasn't exactly sure if it really would make a good pair. comfortable with making orders, he added, "which also happens to be what i want. iced."

OPEN TO ALL

LOCATION: sunshine bakery

“Okay so here’s the deal,” Alivia prompted, turning from the display case to the person next to her. “If you can help me pick something to get, I’ll buy whatever you want. My treat.” She offered. At this point in her day, she needed a boost that usually came in the form of something sugary and something caffeinated. And sometimes, she liked getting suggestions for what she should get. Hence the attempt at recruiting the other into her plan. “I’ll try anything, so the possibilities are endless at this point.” She laughed.

maybe it was because nolan was a serial monogamous, maybe it was just the fact that adrian could be so disrespectful; whatever the reason, nolan was not surprised to hear it was nothing serious. so expected in fact, he barely felt sorry for whatever poor girl had adrian confused. or the fact that'd he'd been swiping while there was still a possibility in his mind that the two were still together.

that was until he sees serra on the screen.

instinctively, nolan knocks the phone out of adrian's hand so it clatters on the table. "wha-- how-- what?!" though indirectly, it is the beginning of yet another series of questions serra has brought to him.

then he realizes, it is too late to play it cool. despite keeping adrian at somewhat of a distance, they've known each other long enough for nolan to get away with lying that he didn't know her. not with that reaction. instead of revealing just how well and for how long they've known serra, they decide to make it seem like less than it is. "sorry, man. just.. isn't that that influencer girl? you coulda' showed me another picture," he starts, then decides to quickly question him for more details to distract from his unease, but also to gather more information. "but what the fuck do you mean you don't know if y'all are together or not?" it was difficult to tone down his aggression.

adrian throws back the shot with ease, digits soon tapping impatiently against his thigh, itching for another drink. another cigarette. anything. he chuckles at nolan's question, "oh that? nah, that's-- i'm just seeing what's out there tonight. nothing serious."

as if on cue, his phone vibrates in his pocket. he almost drops it in his haste to pull it out, lips moving silently as he reads the notification on his lock screen: emrata, nbaonespn and serra recently added to their stories. "actually, i uh--" he looks up at nolan again, realizes he's never mentioned serra to him before, and well, they're close enough that he could tell him now, "--i've been seeing this girl for a while. or, used to, i guess, i don't fucking know--" he chuckles again, even though there's nothing funny about it and their last conversation left him feeling like complete shit.

a few, quick swipes and he's holding his phone out to nolan; on the screen, a half-naked selfie of serra, clearly meant for adrian's eyes only. "i mean, she's hot, right?" he asks with a shit-eating grin.

     "there's no other reason for me to come if you're not here," nolan replied, his tone flat despite the compliment. he didn't exactly like coming to bars on weeknights, but since returning home, there was little keeping him occupied enough not to wander in. he followed him in, taking a seat at the bar and giving his order to the other bartender. "how long have you been working here?" nolan begins once knox appears to have settled in. small talk could help the evening pass along more swiftly, right?

open starter @ the beach ( coral cove )

caloused digits wrap around the metal door of his jeep as he then pushes it shut , curiousity making his eyebrows raise as he spots the other waiting by the bars entrance . " y'know the bars always open , right ? you dont gotta wait for me to show up for work to go inside . "

everything happened fast and yet slow at the same time. the moment of eye contact was brief, but it struck a cord that rushed their shared memories to the front of his mind. nolan felt a desperation he thought he’d abandoned some time ago.

the aggression in serra’s large response made nolan release her. it was a reflexive movement, as if he'd placed his palm on a hot stove. despite appearing almost helpless, it felt like serra had turned to flame and now nolan had a burned hand.

he thought back to when he last saw her. she’d been unreadable to him. it had discomforted him then since he had believed himself to know her better than she knew herself. hadn’t he freed her? had she wanted to be free of him too?

recognizing the threat of spiraling down a hole they had gone down many times, nolan shook their head violently to bring them back up. his hand still burned from the contact. “okay. fine.” he said curtly. his lips pursed as he watched her walk away. nolan did his best to believe she would do as she said and meet him at the beach.

the water was warm on his feet as he paced along the shore. they had hoped the lapsing waves would soothe them, become a sort a sensory distraction, but it was no use. there was no escaping the anxiety and dread of being played for a fool yet again as old questions and worries troubled his mind. it wasn’t until he saw her from yards away did the water actually begin to comfort him.

shoes in hand, nolan walked towards her. “i’m really happy to see you,” he told her once they were close enough to that he was sure she’d hear, unwilling to admit he doubted she’d come. “i just didn’t think i’d see you.. here of all places.”

who: serra and nolan (@bnolan) where: coral cove beach, palmview, florida

they say that the human body will respond to fear in one of four ways: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. flight has always been serra’s default, but with nolan’s hand around her wrist, escape seems impossible. she’s like a deer in the headlights, her big, doe-like eyes caught in his piercing blue gaze. realizing her mouth is slightly agape, serra swiftly presses her lips together and swallows, throat tight. “get off me!" her words spit like venom as she yanks her arm away and takes a step back to create distance. after a moment, she takes a breath, "please leave me alone." though her words are softer, tears threaten to spill.

anger, betrayal, and a deep sadness consume her. she misses him terribly but no longer trusts him. nolan turned her into a pariah under the guise of "protecting" her-- how does that make sense? but as she stands there questioning his motives, the ache of missing him only grows when she looks into his eyes. she doesn’t owe him any explanation for ghosting, but she can’t help feeling a pang of sympathy, knowing he might be seeking one. nonetheless, this wasn't really the right place to do it. "we can talk, but not here. i'll meet you on the beach in twenty minutes." she says gently, then walks off to gather her thoughts before seeing him again.