Super Duper 100% Serious Steven Universe “Who Shattered Pink Diamond” Theory

Charlie: An enemy is just a friend i haven't worn down yet!

Angel Dust: Are you saying you're the main character of a kids cartoon?

Charlie: I'm saying "I'm going to be friends with you" is both a promise and a threat.

rap battle!

Reblog if you’d be okay if your friend came out as transgender

let’s see how many transphobics we can weed out

reblog the money pigeon for a financially stable future

honestly i think about younger lloyd sort of copying/following the ninja around like a little duckling wayyy too much so im just gonna. dump em here. (fair warning, it might be long)

at first, i dont think any of them realise it- not even lloyd, that he's doing it. nya notices it first. they're repairing the bounty but she's watching as lloyd follow a few feet behind cole as the other works on moving planks of wood. lloyd looks like he doesn't know what to do so he's just copying the earth master, and he grabs one plank in his tiny hands and waddles after cole. nya watched this go on and has to hold back a laugh she sees cole flopping down on the ground in exhaustion, and a few moments of contemplating later lloyd following suit. both starfished.

i dont think they were all besties yet, but the ninja has accepted that this little gremlin is gonna be the green ninja and they're going to have to take care of him. maybe this is one of the few things that makes them realise, yeah this is Lord G's kid but holy shit he's just a kid.

and lloyd's also slowly accepting them. finding out he's the green ninja and his destiny made him mellow out a bit with his more, "evil-doings" (but not completely though)

zane's the next to notice. he's finished up dinner and the ninja have a rule that whoever didn't help in cooking will have to help clean. so a lot of the time, zane sits at the table or the couch and watches them clean up. sure, he's itching to help and he doesn't get tired even after cooking but master wu insists that its to build fairness within the team- to the other ninjas dismay.

he's seated at the dinner table this time as the others are clearing up and preparing for dessert when he notices lloyd.

the little one is watching jay, who is watching cole, who is leaving the room with a pile of plates. then he sees jay's hand creep towards the slice of pie that cole stated quite clearly to "do not touch it. no, Jay, especially not you." he sighs, already prepared for what's to come next. but what he was suprised by, was seeing little lloyd do the same thing but towards nya's slice.

right before either of them could reach it though, a loud shout startles them both enough to let out squeaks (one quieter than the other) as cole comes back in. jay has already made a break for it while lloyd simply disappears under the table.

zane couldn't help his own laughter at the whole thing, waving off a confused nya who is double confused when she finds lloyd under the table. he was amused and warmed by the behaviour of their youngest brother and made a note to himself to be more self-disciplined. preparing for when lloyd will decide to follow him. (nya does end up giving lloyd her slice anyway)

kai notices it when it's happening to him. they're out in the market and he's busy bargaining with the sellers over prices. the rest of the ninja are there as well but they each went seperate ways to do their own business.

he feels someone's gaze and turns to find a little blond head quickly looking away and (attempting to) hide in the crowd. he's surprised to see the little guy still nearby. he thought the kid would've run away by now and got caught stealing candy again (the candy sellers still glare at them when they pass by) or stayed with nya.

he snorts when he sees the kid yell as he's knocked onto his butt by the crowd and whistles to get his attention. lloyd turns red, embarrassed at being caught.

when he makes his way to where kai is standing, he's got the biggest pout and a deep frown. without saying anything, kai reaches out a hand and watches the multitudes of emotions that pass over the kid's face.

once, lloyd would've be too prideful to take it but after kai saving him from the volcano, he trusted the fire master more than he realised. so he took his hand. and for the rest of their trip at the market, kai would send short glances and feel his heart warm at the sight of little lloyd holding his hand; sometimes toying with his fingers, or just shaking it when he wanted attention and at one point when kai was taking too long, he had leaned bodily against the ninja with his head against his hip and kai had to hold his tears and teases back.

yeah just. ninja being big siblings and lloyd being a kid. i just think its adorable lmao

i do also think that this habit would still be present when he's older as well. maybe not as much but he just does it subconsciously compared to when he did it to be like his siblings !

“How old are Jessie and James?”

alright i’m making a masterpost because i’m so tired. these never get notes. please give this one notes. i’m going to run through every single parroted argument. i’m going to run through every thought anyone engaged in this discourse has ever had. please give me notes. not because i want clout, i’m just so tired. so many of my posts get notes. i would trade them all for this post to get notes.

How old are Team Rocket?

25. They’re 25. 

But I thought they were teenagers? Lots of people have told me they’re 15/16.

so i’ve heard! i’m pleased to tell you exactly where that comes from.

1. this post, for some reason:

i have been on tumblr for 10 years now, and i never saw anyone debating their ages before this post started circulating. as you can tell by the low res memebase screencap, it was screenshotted and reposted all across social media until it became legend.

the ages you see in this bulbapedia screencap were edited. bulbapedia has either omitted their ages entirely, or put them at 25 for reasons we’ll discuss at the end of this post. 

because i’m a petty bitch, i googled the tumblr username of the person who added that bulbapedia screencap, found what their current URL was, and searched team rocket’s names on their blog. here’s what i discovered.

OP claims it wasn’t them who edited the ages–that they just found it like this. NOT sure i buy that, because I looked into it, and right around the time this post was made (January 8th, 2014) there was a random, unprecedented edit that erroneously put their ages at 15.

this resulted in mods locking the page, because this person was relentless. they would go on team rocket’s pages every day and try to edit the ages back down. again, i can’t prove this is the same person, but these edits happened within 24 hours of them adding to that post. this is, in my professional opinion, the biggest shift i ever saw in people talking about team rocket’s ages. but there are other things people bring up…

2. “Jessie said she was a teenager!”

she does this sometimes. here are the times she does this.

- In episode 218 of the original series, Plant It Now… Diglett Later, the following exchange happens:

This would make Jessie 12. This is a joke. A running gag in the show is younger characters calling Jessie variations on ‘old lady/old bat/old hag,’ and James gets this treatment to a lesser extent. Jessie, however, is incredibly vain and obsessed with youth/beauty, so she often lies to great extent about her age. When Jessie says something like “Oh, I’m 13 years old ;3c” it is meant to carry the same feeling as “Aren’t I the most gorgeous creature walking this very Earth?” To Jessie, calling her old = calling her ugly. Calling herself young = calling herself beautiful. This trope is common with her particular anime archetype–it is more of a Japanese thing, so while I understand it being lost on american audiences, it is NOT proof of her age. 

Right after this, Meowth calls her out on it, asking her where she learned that math, and Jessie angrily threatens him. It’s a joke.

- In episode 56 of the original series, The Ultimate Test, Jessie is in disguise at a Pokemon League qualification exam. When Ash starts giving her the ‘she looks vaguely familiar’ side-eye, she panics and starts muttering information about herself aloud. I will be using the original Japanese line for this one:

This is quoted constantly as proof that Jessie is a teenager–but she is blatantly stating false information about herself here because she’s in disguise and Ash is onto her. This is a false identity she’s crafted, marked even further by “I work as an idol.” That’s an actual profession she’s talking about, one she doesn’t work. Since Japanese Idols weren’t widely unknown to westerners at the time of this dub, her dub line is simply “Age: 17. Profession: Diva.” which makes it a little harder to read that she’s lying about who she is, but she is. The information she’s stating here is that of an alias. It is not her actual age or profession.

3. You literally just posted a screencap of James saying he should get a driver’s license. 

Okay, smart guy, that’s also jokes. The joke isn’t that he’s too young to drive–the joke is that he was a runaway at five years old and had his childhood & all his milestones taken from him because he defected from his abusive family in kindergarten. Also, he’s in the mafia and he just drives his damn balloon everywhere. The joke is that he’s a criminal driving without a license. The joke is breaking the law because he’s James. Its the same as when Jessie will casually say things like “Oh, that’s a good book! I’ve been meaning to shoplift one!” (EP157)

Also, it’s a dub-only line.

“Okay, I guess I see where you’re coming from. But why are you so sure they’re 25?”

Glad you asked!

You might notice the Bulbapedia article up there says “as of M02.″ M02 is the fandom shorthand for the second pokemon movie: Pokemon the Movie: 2000. It’s referring to one scene in particular, one that had its dialogue massively changed in the dub. Here, Jessie and James are addressing Ash & co.:

The subber condensed the point of what James/Kojirou actually says here–his sentence when translated literally is more like:

Jessie: You’re ten years too early.

James: And us, your elders, are five years too late.

this is… a very Japanese expression, but because Ash & co. are 10 years old, Jessie’s basically saying “You really don’t need to be thinking this deeply about romance until you’re 20.” and James is saying “And we’re past our prime at the tender age of 25…”

Some other times this expression has been used, regrettably, is when older men are perving on the female kids in this show–they’ll say things like “I’ll look forward to you in ten years.” Gross, I know, but the point is it’s a thing people say. 20 is considered the age you’re supposed to settle down and marry. 25, especially for women, is considered the age when you’re “off the market”–you missed your window and now no one wants you.

That ties back into Jessie’s thing about youth and beauty and how other characters call her an old lady. What they’re calling her originally is usually some variation on ‘oba-san.’ This term is so widely used in anime that there’s a TVTropes page on it. An english equivalent would be rolling your eyes and sarcastically uttering ‘whatever, grandma’ or, if you really want me to one-shot kill you, ‘ok boomer.’

Another derogatory term you hear in Japan for this age is ‘Christmas Cake.’ Simply put: Delicious to a point, but no one wants it after the 25th.

Yeah.

“That line is still super vague. Their ages could still be ambiguous.”

I regret to inform you that I am very autistic and I have prepared timelines and flowcharts for you.

Allow me to introduce you to The Birth of Mewtwo, an audio drama that released alongside the first movie and was never given an english localization. TBOM (the book of mormon) was about Mewtwo’s Origins that weren’t expanded upon in the movie. But, in order to get to the bottom of Mewtwo, the story had to get to the bottom of how Team Rocket got their hands on Mew’s DNA–and that all started with a Class-A Rocket Agent known simply as ‘Miyamoto.’

if you didn’t know, she’s Jessie’s mom.

TBOM is fully translated and available to listen to in multiple parts on youtube. It opens with Giovanni placing it in the timeline:

Twenty years prior to Pokemon: The First Movie, when this radio drama is said to take place. It then goes into a flashback, where we get to see Jessie’s mom in her pursuit of Mew.

Jessie’s already been born by the time of this flashback, meaning, with 100% certainty, that Jessie is at least 20 years old.

As time passes, Miyamoto stays on her quest to find Mew. Lost in the Andes mountains, she never stops sending reports back to Rocket HQ. Every few years, they trickle back in, detailing her progress. She keeps a picture of Jessie with her, often meandering aloud about what she anticipates Jessie is doing–the milestones Jessie is hitting, the life Jessie might have that her mom was never able to see. The last report she gives says “The daughter I left behind’s an old hag by now…” the word she uses here is, again, ‘oba’–25 years old and unmarried. Again, this is Jessie’s mom. She might be stranded in the mountains with little concept of time, but it’s clear Jessie is the one thing she never truly loses sight of.

“Okay. That sure is a lot of convincing evidence about Jessie. But Team Rocket has another human person in it you’re ignoring.”

Yeah nah I was prepared for that. I actually could’ve just whipped this out at the beginning but I am feeling incredibly spicy so I wanted to lay the law down and not deal with easy arguments about my special interest tonight. Here ya go!

- In episode 87 of the Sun & Moon anime, Filling the Light With Darkness!, Necrozma places an aura across the Alola Region. This blight makes Alolans lethargic, depressed, and unmotivated. This aura also ONLY affects the adults in Alola–leaving the burden on the kids & pokemon to figure out what’s going on. Ash & everyone in his class–including some who can be argued as teenagers–are entirely unaffected. 

Of the afflicted?

“Alright, one last question…why should I care?”

Because ever since that tumblr post started circulating, it’s been Stressful as all hell to be a Rocketblogger. I know that we all had a lot of fun watching the pokemon anime when we were kids, and we probably all have a lot of shared and fond memories of it. But, weirdly enough, because of that shared joy… Pokeani is the only fandom where people who don’t even watch the show anymore will try to explain to members of the fandom what our own lore is. And a lot of the time, they won’t listen to us when we correct them on their misinformation.

The reason this matters is because Rocketbloggers still to this day get called pedophiles & perverts for drawing/writing smutty art of our funny bad people. And when we try to shut them down pulling all this evidence out, people who have seen a handful of episodes of the show but understandably don’t have the time to watch 1100 episodes will pull the doth protest too much card. It’s annoying but more than anything, it’s exhausting.

So this is a masterpost I made with my autistic superpowers. I hope that, in the future, this one gets spread around more than the one claiming them to be kids. And I hope that maybe, if you’re a rocketblogger, when someone comes in your inbox trying to explain your favourite anime to you… you can quietly link them to this post and no longer have to rehash all the arguments we’ve been rehashing for years.

Thank you for reading. Reblog to save a tired Rocketblogger’s life.

ninjago fame hcs

- cole goes into spotify hunts to find new unknown music and then shares it on instagram and twitter.

- jay comments on people’s posts bc he genuinely enjoys seeing people excited that he noticed them.

- zane has socials that jay set up to him and he has tons of followers but he doesn’t use them unless jay helps him.

- kai has the most of popular magazine photoshoots. (e.g. vouge)

- lloyd gets “never in my life have i seen a man this blond” comments everyday and he laughs every time.

- pixal never really posts unless it’s with nya and zane.

- nya specifically only goes on twitter to get on the guys nerves when they tweet something.

- lloyd rarely posts pictures of himself but when he does everyone panics and the internet goes feral.

- kai publicly flirts with harry styles. period. cannot convince me otherwise. every time anything has to do with that englishmen kai is the first to say something about it.

- the only time any of the ninja got canceled was jay for saying that he didn’t like parrots 😔.

- cole purposely makes dead mom jokes on the daily.

- the amount of times he’s been tagged on the ‘fuck me emo boy’ song is slowly but successfully driving morro insane.

- morro wasn’t expecting it but people adore his style.

- the moment people found out nya wears glasses everyone couldn’t stop talking about it for weeks.

2/?

Please reblog this so that I can get a bigger sample size, but DO NOT include anything in the tags about the results, as that could influence other responses

* I’m not ready for this to end. I’m not ready for you to leave.

* I’m not ready to say goodbye to someone like you again…

* So, please… STOP doing this…

* AND JUST LET ME WIN!!!

So next page was voted.  I’ll be posting the Future Donnie Design soon.  At least you got a peek at him here.  I’m not usually one for torture porn, so sorry for the heavy flashback.  The next page will be more of a comfort arch, promise.  

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