Latest Posts by bonniefazfox - Page 7

All of my incorrect quotes as Splatoon!

It took days but it’s done.

run, save yourself.

Neo3 -“Leave me, Four, save yourself.”

Agent4-“Oh. Okay.”

Neo3- “FOUR!!!!”

Agent4-“alright alright I’m coming back.”

Marie- “Are you high?!”

Cap3- “What?”

Marie- “High?”

Cap3- “Hello?”

Cap3- (About 8) “She’s so pretty”

Neo3- “don’t be jealous, you’re pretty too!”

Cap3-“ I wasn’t being jealous I was being gay”

Agent4-“I know exactly what you’re going through my friend. It’s called; Being Gay!“

Neo3-“Oh.”

Agent4-

Neo3-“OOHHHHHH!”

Agent8- “I’m breaking up with you and here’s a puppyyyyyy!”

Cap3- “Aww- wait what?”

Agent8- “His name is Marvin I need my keys back and he’s very cuuuute!”

Cap3- “Do you think I’m not hearing the bad parts of those sentences?”

(they ended up not breaking up)

Pearl-“I like um movies that talk about the- *glanced at Marina* that- that talk about-“

Marina-*snickers*

Pearl-“FPHG What? What? WHAT???”

Marina-“NOTHING! I just like you!”

Pearl-“BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAGAHAHAHAHAHA”

Neo3-“Can you tell what this word says?”

Agent4-“Pw- wait- Pwmoly…?”

Neo3-“I don’t think that’s it.” 

Agent4-“Okay, wait, let me use my imagination. That could be a backwards A, and that could be a U, so Puamo- it’s still Pwmoly!”

Neo3-“So? What do you think?”

Cap3-“I think it has 3,600 pages.”

Cap3-“I have a life, I have a family, and until I read this, I had a will to live.”

Agent8- “Blood. Seas of blood.”

Agent4- “Nightmares?”

Agent8- *more annoyed* “Ennui? Blood! Fire and blood!”

Neo3- “Time!”

Agent8- “You fool! It was birthday parties!”

Agent4- “BIRTHDAY PARTIES?!”

Pearl- “HEY ASSHOLE!”

Callie- “It would appear Pearl has read the article.”

Marie- “It would appear he has.”

Cap3- “Agent 4 is above reason but they are of Inkopolis. And they are my sibling.”

Marina- “They killed 80 Octarians in two days.”

Marie- “They’re adopted.”

Cap3- “And I’m like boom, you looking for this?”

Agent4-

Marie-

Cap3- “Boom? You look- why do I even talk to you guys? Everyone else that story kills.”

Marie- “That’s the whole story?”

Cap3- “Yes, it’s a war machine story.”

Agent4- “Oh it-it’s very good then.”

Agent4- “Lets rande-voo at our Junk Shop!”

Neo3- “We jammed the door closed, but we’ll kick it open!”

Marina- “Shelldon left very clear instructions, Four. Did you not see the very clear instructions?”

Agent4- “I saw the note.”

Marina- “And what did it say?”

Agent4- *looks at note reading “Four, you are still too young to drive the truck.”

Agent4- “It’s ambiguous.”

Marina- “I’m not overriding the controls for you.”

Agent4- “Please?”

Marina- “NO.”

Callie- “If you had 24 hours left to live, what would you do?”

Marie- “Say goodbye and mend my relationships.”

Pearl- “Something illegal.”

Neo3- “I’d message ten people on FaceBook saying that if they don’t forward the message to ten people I’ll die tomorrow.”

Cap3- “Jesus, kid.”

Pearl- “That’s awesome, can I change my answer?”

Octavio- “Where’s your sense of self-preservation?”

Cap3- “GONE BABY!”

*Later*

Marie- “We’re having a talk.”

Cap3- “yup.”

Agent4: *running towards 8 with open arms*

Agent8: *moves out of the way*

Agent4: Hey, why'd you move?!

Agent8: I thought you were going to attack me.

Agent4: I was going to hug you!

Agent8: Why would you hug me?

Agent4: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

Marie: How petty can you get?

Pearl: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Neo3: Why does Agent 8 have you in her phone as BBG?

Cap3: How about we stop talking for a little while.

Cap3: One time, I had a crush on an ally of ours but I didn’t know how to deal with it so I just wrote them a note that said “Get out of my house.”

Agent8: THAT WAS YOU?!?!

Marie: So, did everyone learn their lesson?

Neo3: No.

Cap3: I did not.

Agent4: I may have actually forgotten one.

Callie: Also no.

Marie: Oh good, neither did I.

Marina: *Exhausted sigh*

Agent8: Captain is too tall for me to kiss them on the lips. What should I do?

Agent4: Punch them in the stomach. Then, when they double over in pain, kiss them.

Pearl: Tackle them!

Marie: Dump them.

Neo3: Kick them in the shin!

Captain: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

Neo3: Bye Captain! Bye Miss Callie! Bye Miss Marie! Bye Agent4! Bye Captain!

Agent8: You said ‘bye Captain’ twice.

Neo3: I like Captain.

Mr. Grizz: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them?

Marina, watching Agent4 and Pearl screaming, Captain trying to set a sleeping Neo3 on fire, and Callie choking on air: I don't know either.

Pearl: Rules were made to be broken.

Marie: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Agent4: Uh, piñatas.

Agent8: Glow sticks.

Neo3: Karate boards.

Callie: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Pearl: Rules.

Marie: -3-

Captain: Crud, we have a flat tire!

Agent4: Ah crud! 

Neo3: What are we gonna do? We're still really far away!

Agent4: Don't worry guys, I put a spare in the trunk!

Marie: ...Four, I swear on the Cuttlefish name, if I open the trunk and there is bowling pins set up back there I am going to throw you to Splatsville.

Sheldon: *glaring at 4*

Callie: *staring at 4*

Captain: *glaring at 4*

Agent4: ...

Agent4: Don't open the trunk

Callie: Cap won't come out of his room

Neo3: Just tell him I said something

Callie: Like what?

Neo3: Anything factually wrong

*a few minutes later*

Captain, bursting into the room: Did you say the sun is a pLANET

Marie: Three, what is this called?

Neo3: A mop?

Marie: Now tell him what you think it is

Agent4, close to tears: Wet broom 

Agent4, very high/tired, to Neo3: "You're so full of yourself" is such a weird expression like, what else would I be full of??? Bees??? Styrofoam???”

Neo3: ????

Marie: “You’re dating him.”

Agent8, painfully: “I know.”

Marie: So what's the new rule here?

Callie, Pearl & Agent4: No daring Three to do stupid stuff

Captain: Why?

Neo3, muttering: Because I have no regard for my personal safety

Captain: Right

(On the teacups)

8, Marie & Marina: *spinning calmly and talking about things*

4, 3, Cap, Pearl & Callie: *zoom by at lightning speed, screaming loudly*

Marie: Whenever I’m mad at Pearl I tighten all the jars in the kitchen so they has to come to me for help.

*sound of glass smashing*

Marie: It hasn’t worked yet but I’m staying hopeful.

Marie(about 8 to Captain)- I thought you said she was JUST trying to kill you.

Pearl- Wow, quick turnaround.

Agent4- No kidding, it took me MONTHS to stop trying to kill Captain.

Callie- I’d say it took me a day, day and a half.

Neo3- I’m still on the fence.

(Insert offended Captain here)

Callie- That sounds bad

Pearl- That looks bad

Marina- That IS bad!!

Marie- So I come home and see my brother’s made this cool thing so I pick it up to look at it and he goes, “HUH. That’s neat!” And I said “what?” And he said “I WASNT SURE IF THE WHOLE THING WAS GONNA BE ELECTROCUTED OR NOT!” I mean like what? Were you just gonna let me be a Guinea Pig is that what was happening?!

Sheldon(faintly)- yes

Pearl- *choking*

Marie- Can you die a little quieter I’m reading.

Agent4(laying in hospital bed very much sedated)- I’ll tell ya. They did that real quick, they just went right in there, and they snippidy snip snipped it. They did THREE snips.

Agent8- Three snips?

*Empty stretcher moves by*

Agent4- That guy didn’t make it.

Agent4- HAWAII? HOW DID SHE EVEN GET HER CAR HERE? ITS ILLISOIS?!

Neo3- WHAT THE HECK?!

Agent4- AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Neo3- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Agent4- When you go to a bbq joint and there’s twelve rolls of toilet paper, you kind of question the food

Marie- He’s a grown man that eats apple sauce with his fingers! Even 4 doesn’t do that, right 4?

Agent4- I-I do that too.

Agent4- if you’re American when you walk into the bathroom, and you’re American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the bathroom?

Neo3- *glances at Captain*

Agent4- European!

Captain- The darkness gets closer to consuming me with each passing day-

Sheldon- That gives us 41 hours until the destruction of all organic life on Earth.

Callie- All organic life?

Sheldon- Yeah, like the animals, the plants, the insects. You know, people.

Marina- Alright time for lunch all peanut allergy kids come with me!

Callie- But I wanna eat with my friends!

Marina- And be at risk of dying?

Callie-…yes?

Marina-No.

Agent4, aggressively throws water bottles: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!!!

Marie: Help! He’s trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us!!

Agent4: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!!!

Captain, crying: It's working

Agent4- my brand just overheated

Neo3- it’s pronounced “brian” dummy

Captain- it’s pronounced “brain” morons

Captain(hasn’t slept in days)- Last night, I saw three woman walking down the street that way. And I asked them, “Hey you three ladies! Why are you going that way? There’s nothing down there?” And then they flew away, and I said to myself, “them were some birds.”

Marie-

Callie- *wheeze*

Neo3- One large pizza, extra fishy.

Callie- You must be hungry.

Neo3- No, I’m ordering for two.

Pearl- *spits out drink* NEWBIE IS PREGNANT?!

Neo3- Freaking out isn’t going to help! We gotta be chill.

Captain- HOW CAN WE BE CHILL LOOK AT ALL THAT ICE!

Marie- That’s it! Christmas is cancelled!

Captain- You can’t cancel a holiday.

Marie- Keep that up and you’ll lose New Years, too.

Agent4- What does that mean?

Marie- MARINA! Take New Years away from Captain and Four!

Agent4(heavily sedated(yes, again))- I guess I’m just too tough to cry.

Agent8- Just today you were crying about snakes.

Agent4- They don’t have any arms!

Marie- And crabs?

Agent4- *sobbing*THEY CANT HOLD HANDSSSSS

Agent4- What happened? Did Neo fall and break his butt? Haha.

Captain- That’s not funny.

Agent4- …I know.

Neo3: I have a plan. It might get us both killed, but if it works, it'll be a totally boss story. Cool?

Captain: What? No, not cool!

Neo3: Cool

Captain: I SAID NOT COOL! 

Agent4- Dr Pepper please

Neo3- Is Pepsi okay?

Agent4- Is Monopoly money okay?

Captain- What are you, twelve?

Agent4- YEAH.

Captain- ON A SCALE OF ONE TO TEN.

Marina- Four! Captain said not to!

Agent4- Cappy needs some help from the Love Doctor~.

Pearl- And his assistant!

Marina- Get back here!

A- I have to tell my something parents, can you wait here for a second?

B- Don’t you mean tell your parents something?

Neo3- LOOK. my mosquito bites spell out “beware”!

Captain- That says “bewarb”

Captain- So I heard you like bad boys.

Agent8- Who told you that?

Captain- Pearl. Anyways, *hair flip* I just want you to know I’m bad at everything. ;)

8- 

Cap- *still ;) but def about to break a sweat*

8- Pick me up at seven

Captain- What country are y’all from where they got this garbage at

Neo3- Jersey

Agent4- I KNEW IT 

Agent4- Just let go! Be in the moment!

Neo3- I am in the moment! ITS A TERRIBLE MOMENT!!

Neo3(telling Agent4 about Mr. Grizz)- I handled it like a champ.

*3 hours earlier*

Neo3- *uncontrollable sobbing*

Neo3- Sir, you’ve misplaced your five dollar bill directly into my palm.

Cuttlefish- You fight almost as well as a man!

Agent8- Funny! I was going to say the same thing to you!

Agent8- How do you make someone fall in love with you?

Agent4- Well, There's The Usual Things: Flowers, Chocolates... Promises You Don't Intend To Keep

Pearl- This year, I lost my dear husband Marina.

Marina- STOP TELLING EVERYONE IM DEAD

Pearl- Sometimes I can still hear his voice

Callie: "Sorry it took me so long the bail you out of jail"

Pearl: "No it's my fault, I shouldn't have used my one phone call to prank call the police,"

*a few hours earlier*

Captain answers their desk phone: "Officer Sango speaking"

Pearl: "is your refrigerator running?"

Captain while still on the phone turns to glare at Pearl:

Agent4- I can’t miss a photo op with you and a pile of trash

Cap- Oh, A, you’re too hard on yourself!

Callie- If you don’t like my tuna casserole then you’re a liar. Or worse, VEGAN.

Neo3- STOP BEING SUCH A KAREN

Agent4- I can’t be a Karen what kind of Karen likes anime?

Neo3- tch

Neo3- KAREN JAEGA

Marie- I’ve been looking for you everywhere!

Agent4- What a coincidence! I’ve been avoiding you everywhere!

Callie: Hey, can we stay in your room tonight?

Marie: Why? 

Cap: Four fiddled with an ouija board and cursed Three’s. 

Callie: Three doesn't know how to banish spirits, so they just throw salt at them and yells "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"

Marie: I've not slept in the past five days.

Callie: I worry about Marie, he's got awful sleeping habits.

*interview gets interrupted by Captain stumbling in the background squinting from the bright lights as he grabs the entire coffee pot and then leaves*

Callie:.......I take that back. All of them have awful sleeping habits.

Cap- “Listen, I need you to do something I was never strong enough to.”

Neo3- “Fulfill my destiny, right?”

Cap- “No.”

Cap- *wheezing* “Get therapy…!”

4- you think I don’t like you? I do! I’d kill for you! Please-ask-me-to-kill-for-you

Cap- first of all, let’s calm down.

4: Three, we've been together through thick and thin

Neo3: We have

4: Three, when we were six and I fell off my skateboard, you were there by my side

Neo3: I was

4: And when we were ten and I burned myself trying to make pop tarts

4: you were there by my side

Neo3: True

4: And when we were twelve and my favorite action figure tragically broke

4: You were there right beside me

Neo3: Yes

4: And the night I was thrown out of a window

4: where were you? Tell them

Neo3: By your side

4: By my side...

4: Three, you're a fucking jinx

8- “Can you guys get Captain? She’s kinda bleeding a lot.”

Cap- *incredibly strained* “I’m bleeding a normal amount, thank you.”

Pearl- BY THE TIME I’M FINISHED, YOU’LL BE WHISTLING OUT OF YOUR BUTT!

4- “Argue with me-“

Neo3- “But you’re wrong!”

4- “Dont argue with m-“

Neo3- “BUT. YOURE. WRONG.”

4- “That’s why you’re the slowest in your class.”

Neo3- “That’s why you don’t have a girlfriend.”

4- >:0

Neo3- >:)

4- “I’m about to end your whole career. You know Santa Claus isn’t real right?

Neo3- :0

4- >:)

Neo3- “What?”

4- “Right, Hm?”

Neo3- “What?!”

8- “Why would you say that?!”

4- “he had it coming!”

Neo3- “MISS MARIE!!”

4- “DONT CALL MARIE NOW!”

Neo3- “he said to bring it to my parents.”

Cap- “So you brought it to me(????)”

Neo3: So, what was your childhood like

4: Oh, you mean my tragic backstory that you must be at least level 3 friendship to unlock? 

Neo3:...What level am I at? 

4: Ten. So it all started-

Marie- “I bet Captain has a six pack.”

Neo3- “For eel? Can I see?!” <- has never seen a six pack before

Captain- “Okay sure! Did you mean the six-pack of twinkies or soda?”

Callie- :0

Neo3- :o

Marie- :”)

Neo3: We’re going to defeat you with the power of friendship. 

Cap: We’re not friends yet. 

Cap: We’re going to defeat you with the power of incredible violence.

Marie-

Callie-

4- “Sup’ guys Cappy couldn’t make it I’m New Cappy! Insert random grumble here!”

Marie- “GRAAAAAAAAAAMPS!”

Callie- “I dunno I kinda like New Captain!”

Neo3- “Where’s Captain?!”

4- “Wherever she is, I’m sure she’s trying to save us right now!”

Cap- *spamming the elevator close door button*

Marie- “When was the last time you slept?”

Captain with eye bags the size of the Grand Canyon- “Would you believe me if I said last night?”

4- “And I said, ‘What’re you gonna do? Stab me?’ ”

Neo3- “So I stabbed her.”

Marie- *deep breath*

4- “WAKE ME UP”

Neo3- “Wake me up insiiiide~”

4- “CANT WAKE UP”

Neo3- “Wake me up insiiiide~~”

Captain- “SAAAVE MEEE!”

Cap: *staring pensively out of a window*

Neo3: So wise, so knowledgeable. He really is a born master

Cap, to themself: Is cereal a soup?

Cap- “Can you be serious for five minutes?”

4- “My record is four, but I think I can do it.”

Octavio- “As some of you know, I took a bit of a break last year-“

Pearl- “You mean when you hooked up with that old man and then he dumped you?”

Octavio- “Let’s move on.”

Marie- ”Gramps sure did.”

Cap- “So…Who broke it? I’m not mad, I just wanna know.”

Marina- “I did, I broke it-“

Cap- “No, no you didn’t. Pearl?”

Pearl- “Don’t look at me, look at 4.”

4- “Huh? I didn’t break it.”

Pearl- “HUH. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?”

4- “Because it’s sitting right in front of us, and it’s broken.”

Pearl- “Suspicious.”

4- “No, it’s not!”

Marie- “If it matters, probably not, but uh Shiver was the last one to use it-“

Shiver- “Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!”

Marie- “Oh really then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?”

Shiver- “I use the stirrers to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that MARIE.”

Marina- “Okay, let’s not fight, I broke it, let me pay for it Captain.”

Cap- “NO. WHO BROKE IT?!”

4- “Cappy… Frye has been awfully quiet-“

Frye- “REALLY?! OH MY GOD!”

*everyone arguing*

Cap*in the next room with 8*- “It was me. I broke it. Burned my hand so I punched it.”

4- *holding up photo* “D’you know what this is?”

Marina- “It’s a weed plant.”

4- “And now did you know that?!”

Marina- “…it’s labeled…”

Captain- “Boys be like “Oopsie Daisy!” WHOS DAISY.”

4- “Girls be like “No way José!” WHOS JOSÉ”

Neo3- “HOLA BITCH”

Captain- “God give me patience.”

Neo3- “Don’t you mean god give me strength?”

Captain- “If god gave me strength you’d be dead right now.”

Callie- “We’ll just have to agree to disagree.”

Marie- “I don’t agree to that.”

Pearl- “Me either!”

8- “I need relationship advice.”

4- “Break up.”

8- “At least listen to me first.”

Captain- I have feelings for you!

8- ??

Captain- Not telling which ones though!

8-???????

Marie- Hiya champ, how was school today?

Captain- Okay haha get your jokes out now.

Shiver- So cranky.

Marie- You want a juice box and some string cheese?

Captain- Do you actually have that?

(Halloween)

Callie- Are you Thor?

Pearl- No, I’m five.

Neo3- BOO!

Captain- 

Neo3- :’(

Captain- aaAH!

Captain- I lost my son, can I make an announcement?

8- Sure! 

Captain*over the intercom*- Agent 4……. Goodbye you little shit.

Pearl- Okay okay, let’s make this easier. I WONT TAKE YOU HEAD AND SMASH IT AGAINST THE-

Marie- Okay! Okay P, let’s cool down. I’ll take over.

Captain- *walks in the room* 

*fighting, crashing, other bad noises*

Captain- FOUR!

Agent4- Three! Hi!

Agent4- *gets punched*

Captain- FOUR! WHAT DID YOU DO I WAS KICKED OUT FOR THREE HOURS!

Agent4- All is forgiven you’re the leader again welcome back!

(HC that Agent 4 still calls Captain “Three”)

Marie- Awww it’s too bad I can’t play my violin while I drive.

Agent4 & Captain- >:(

Captain- We can’t just rush in there! We need a plan.

Neo3- Why?

Captain- Hey, I wanted to say-

Agent4- you don’t have to apologize.

Captain- I wasn’t going to.

Agent4- Oh.

Agent4- Good!

Agent4- Pish posh and tut tut my good man.

Neo3- ………

Neo3- HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO HIDE IN THE WOODS THERES NO DOORS

Agent4- We could climb a tree?

Neo3- THATS THE FIRST PLACE HE’S GONNA LOOK! Could be burrow? Do animals burrow in the wild?!

Agent4- I DONT KNOW IVE NEVER BEEN IN THE WILD BEFORE! Have you?!

Neo3- Uhhhh… does jersey count?

Agent4- Is this seat taken?

Captain- No.

Agent4- Cool. *goes to sit down*

Captain- what are you doing?

Agent4- Sitting?

Captain- Uhuh yeah no. Yeah you can’t do that.

Agent4- You said it wasn’t taken?

Captain- Yeah and let’s keep it that way!

Captain- Vape? No, it’s a 3D printed dragon that’s made of roses! I’d like to give this to someone for Valentine’s Day but unfortunately, I live a life of crushing loneliness that spirals me further and further everyday into a deep dark pit of depression, making me think that I may never find love and I’m gonna die alone.

8- I got you chocolates.

Callie- USE THOSE MUSSELS YOU WORKED SO HARD FOR

Neo3- He stopped working out last week

Callie- Why’d he stop- WHY’D YOU STOP WORKING OUT?

Captain(from afar)- I WAS SAD!

Frye- Like a footless chicken

Marie- the phrase is “like a headless chicken”

Frye- How would a headless chicken run around its headless

Marie- how would a footless chicken run around its footless?

Frye- why are you asking me all the questions I don’t know I’m not the chicken!

Agent4: Sure is dark in here.

Neo3:

Agent4: I'm not scared or anything.

Neo3:

Agent4: I mean, who's scared of the dark these days? Not me. Nope.

Neo3: Do you want me to hold your hand?

Agent4:

Agent4: Yes please.

BigMan- Ay. Ay ay. (You enter the dungeon. On the far side of the room there is a door.)

Agent4- Can I seduce the door?

BigMan- Ay. (No you cannot.)

Shiver- Can I seduce the door?

BigMan- Ay. (Also no.)

Captain- Can I punch Four?

BigMan- Ay, ay ay. (Uh, Agent 4 you take four damage.)

Agent4- I transform into a beaver.

BigMan- Ay… ay. (You… do that.)

Agent4- Now can I seduce the door?

BigMan- AY. AY. (STILL. NO.)

Captain- I punch Four again.

BigMan- Ay. (Three more damage.)

Agent8- Can I fight the door?

BigMan- AY! (NO!)

Marie- Uh, I also would like to fight the door?

BigMan- Ay ay. (No one can fight the door.)

Pearl- I FIGHT THE DOOR.

BigMan- Ay. (You lose.)

Pearl- I FIGHT YOU.

BigMan- Ay, ay. (Pearl, take a walk.)

Marie- Is the door dead or alive?

BigMan- Ay… ay. (It’s… a door.)

Marie- Can I enslave it’s soul?

BigMan- Ay… (How would you…)

Marie-

BigMan-

BigMan- Ay! (No!)

Agent8- Can I build a better door?

BigMan- Ay? (Do you want to build a better door?)

Agent8- I acquire lumber from the surrounding forest.

BigMan- Ay, ay ay. (Okay, you do that.)

Frye- Is the door locked?

BigMan- Ay. (No.)

Frye- I open the door.

BigMan- Ay, ay ay. (You do so, inside is a small treasure chest.)

Shiver- I SEDUCE THE TREASURE CHEST!

BigMan- AY!!! (NO!!!)

the onion headlines + splatoon part 3

Encountered this hilarious team last night that wore identical hats and weapons. They didn’t fight or anything, covered 0.0% turf, and just danced around. They simply wished to entertain and succeeded as I was laughing the whole time.

Chain’s reaction to this battle:

Please reblog this so that I can get a bigger sample size, but DO NOT include anything in the tags about the results, as that could influence other responses

People I met for a few moments that live in my head forever.

crab crab crab hand hand hand frighten

Wife, playing Legends Arceus: hey honey I'm fighting a new pokemon and i need some help

Me, focusing on something else: uh huh, what do you need?

Wife: *shows me the pokemon she's fighting* what's this bitch allergic to?

Me: d... do you mean its type weakness?

Wife: just answer the damn question

I'm stuck in a Nya mood (@marsipain's fault) and I found this REALLLLY cool pose earlier today that felt REALLY Nya to me (also Mars' fault) so I decided to draw it! It took me an EMARRASINGLY long time to compose this shit, but holy SHIT am I sooo proud of it....

pls rb

Guys We Need More Ninjago Memes

GUYS I WAS LOOKIN AT WEAPONS AND I NOTICED SOMETHING ???

SOME OF THE TABLETURF ART IS BASED ON OLDER ART THIS IS SO CUTE

LIKE LOOK

this one is more obvious but the splatling is based on the win pose!

there's probably more but im not looking up any more free feel to add :)

Glitch Techs Archive

Miko Main Outfit

Miko Turnip and Long-Sleeved Outfit

Miko EKO Tee (Acnl + Acnh)

Five’s Hoodie (Acnl + Acnh)

Hinobi Tech Work Uniform

Regular Lloyd is easily picked up.

Oni Lloyd? Not so much, but Kai is determined.

@legogeek33 asked to be tagged in the final line up and here it is! yall better treat this like the last ninjago character line up post

instead of dragons, like wu's ninja, garmadon's ninja have oni face decals, with element-specific patterns and horns! i really like how morro and tox's came out

now that these goofs are done i can finish up the first chapter of the jade ninja au fic! as well as FINALLY start on my lego monkie kid line up/redesigns. my hand is already on fire, time to add some gas to really make it burn!

I liked the idea of ​​Nya with vitiligo

Humans are naturally more delicate and squishier than nindroids, and i think Zane and Pixal would have vastly different attitudes about it.

Zane is very much the health-and-wellness type, who is very conscienscious about cultivating an optimal environment for his human friends. Drafts out full meal plans, changes all the lightbulbs in the house bc he read online that certain lighting arrangements can elicit certain moods in humans, and he's studied human medicine intensely enough that he could probably get a medical license if he wanted. Kai gets a sore throat, Zane immediately begins researching homemade cough syrup recipes. Cole's got knee pain, instant ice pack and bedrest. Jay is lactose-intolerant and Zane has a conniption if he so much as looks at dairy.

Pixal's reaction, meanwhile, is on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. Constantly overestimates what humans can survive. "I could punch Nya through five inches of steel right? She can take it, shes tough." And "Jay, let's test out my new laser cannon by seeing how far across itll blast you across the secret base." And " im sure no one will take issue if i get rid of all our oven mitts, surely humans arent so weak they cant handle a hot sheet of metal." It doesnt help that she usually poses most of her questions about human fragility to Lloyd of all people, who is a half-dragoni demigod chosen one of prophecy, so he doesnt know either. "Lloyd, it is my turn to cook and i was wondering if four whole ghost peppers is spicy enough for humans." "Hm....maybe add a fifth pepper." "My thoughts exactly."

The catch is, since theyre all essentially superhuman, theyre also more durable than the average human so all of Pixal's dangerous overestimations usually turn out just fine.

Except that incident with the peppers. She is still banned from the kitchen after that.

Because of her time without a body and subsequent non interaction with anyone, Pixal is a VERY touchy person- in the literal sense.

She'll hold your hands to emphasize a point, give lots of hugs, punch you in the shoulder when you're being dumb, play with your hair, and physically tug you around when guiding you somewhere.

She's just touch starved and wants to feel present.

honestly i think about younger lloyd sort of copying/following the ninja around like a little duckling wayyy too much so im just gonna. dump em here. (fair warning, it might be long)

at first, i dont think any of them realise it- not even lloyd, that he's doing it. nya notices it first. they're repairing the bounty but she's watching as lloyd follow a few feet behind cole as the other works on moving planks of wood. lloyd looks like he doesn't know what to do so he's just copying the earth master, and he grabs one plank in his tiny hands and waddles after cole. nya watched this go on and has to hold back a laugh she sees cole flopping down on the ground in exhaustion, and a few moments of contemplating later lloyd following suit. both starfished.

i dont think they were all besties yet, but the ninja has accepted that this little gremlin is gonna be the green ninja and they're going to have to take care of him. maybe this is one of the few things that makes them realise, yeah this is Lord G's kid but holy shit he's just a kid.

and lloyd's also slowly accepting them. finding out he's the green ninja and his destiny made him mellow out a bit with his more, "evil-doings" (but not completely though)

zane's the next to notice. he's finished up dinner and the ninja have a rule that whoever didn't help in cooking will have to help clean. so a lot of the time, zane sits at the table or the couch and watches them clean up. sure, he's itching to help and he doesn't get tired even after cooking but master wu insists that its to build fairness within the team- to the other ninjas dismay.

he's seated at the dinner table this time as the others are clearing up and preparing for dessert when he notices lloyd.

the little one is watching jay, who is watching cole, who is leaving the room with a pile of plates. then he sees jay's hand creep towards the slice of pie that cole stated quite clearly to "do not touch it. no, Jay, especially not you." he sighs, already prepared for what's to come next. but what he was suprised by, was seeing little lloyd do the same thing but towards nya's slice.

right before either of them could reach it though, a loud shout startles them both enough to let out squeaks (one quieter than the other) as cole comes back in. jay has already made a break for it while lloyd simply disappears under the table.

zane couldn't help his own laughter at the whole thing, waving off a confused nya who is double confused when she finds lloyd under the table. he was amused and warmed by the behaviour of their youngest brother and made a note to himself to be more self-disciplined. preparing for when lloyd will decide to follow him. (nya does end up giving lloyd her slice anyway)

kai notices it when it's happening to him. they're out in the market and he's busy bargaining with the sellers over prices. the rest of the ninja are there as well but they each went seperate ways to do their own business.

he feels someone's gaze and turns to find a little blond head quickly looking away and (attempting to) hide in the crowd. he's surprised to see the little guy still nearby. he thought the kid would've run away by now and got caught stealing candy again (the candy sellers still glare at them when they pass by) or stayed with nya.

he snorts when he sees the kid yell as he's knocked onto his butt by the crowd and whistles to get his attention. lloyd turns red, embarrassed at being caught.

when he makes his way to where kai is standing, he's got the biggest pout and a deep frown. without saying anything, kai reaches out a hand and watches the multitudes of emotions that pass over the kid's face.

once, lloyd would've be too prideful to take it but after kai saving him from the volcano, he trusted the fire master more than he realised. so he took his hand. and for the rest of their trip at the market, kai would send short glances and feel his heart warm at the sight of little lloyd holding his hand; sometimes toying with his fingers, or just shaking it when he wanted attention and at one point when kai was taking too long, he had leaned bodily against the ninja with his head against his hip and kai had to hold his tears and teases back.

yeah just. ninja being big siblings and lloyd being a kid. i just think its adorable lmao

i do also think that this habit would still be present when he's older as well. maybe not as much but he just does it subconsciously compared to when he did it to be like his siblings !

Ninjago as articles

Ninja go brrrrrrr

((

The clouds below rumbled and threatened rain upon the valley. She could feel it around her, the dropping pressure as the warm front pushed through, and the inevitable fall of water dropplets coating the vegetation.

Maya, in her dozing off, focused on every single one. They trickled down and bounced, some colliding with each other and some shattering into mist and cycling back up into the clouds.

It was a shame that it never rained on the monastery, what advantages would she have during training if it did, but then again the fire EMs powers would surely be dampened.

Speaking of, her mind wandered back to his odd behavor that day. During training he had excused himself claiming to be sick, in which Wu allowed, and the he didn't show up for lunch or dinner or even chores. Ray didn't allow her into his room despite how close she felt that had become as of late, which was even more odd.

Did she say something to him and made him upset? Maya made note to speak to him about it in the morning.

Falling deeper into sleep, her mind's consiousness slipped into lucidity. The dream before her she had many times before: a blue lit cave with strange markings that coiled around led her down to a gated opening. Within laid an unfathomably large serpent, its horns jutting like jagged yellow coral from its dark scaley head. Its eyes, however open, peered lifelessly towards her.

In her hand she held a stone that shimmered blue, the shape ever shifting between her fingers. Somehow she knew it belonged to the sleeping beast, and although she knew it wrong to return the stone, she felt as though it was calling for her.

Just as the thought to break in came to her, Maya felt the hairs on her neck stand up. Something was watching her, something large and unknown that loomed with an intent to attack.

Maya snapped awake fast enough to see a serpents tail twist its way into the shadowed rafters.

A serpentine, here? Wu had said anacondrai could turn invisible and despite their size, were very sneaky. If one had snuck out here and managed to get past everyone, that meant that it surely has had enough time to collect information and was on the move to get out.

"Oh no you don't," She spat and sprung up into the rafters.

The quiet nimble motions of the intruder became loud and scrambled as she skipped closer, its tail flicking around wildly as it attempted to throw her off. It dived between a beam and the roof, squirming as it squeezed its way into a small storage area.

Although being unable to see in the dark, she heared it and dropped down into the room just outside of it. Maya smirked triumphantly, knowing well that the room beyond the door was a dead end, albeit pitch black. "You're pretty dumb for a serpentine," she taunted, lighting a lamp and taking one of the sparring rods off the wall.

Confident in her combat abilities, she batted away the thought of getting backup and slid the door open. Many scrolls and boxes laid in piles amongst overflowing shelves, the yellowed paper flickering with the fire in the lamp. Maya eased her way in, eyes scanning the room as she went. This serpent could be anywhere, could be any colour, but any movement it had she was confident that the sheer amout of paper would give away its position immediately.

And then, as the lamp's glow met the far wall, she saw it: a red scaley form sat upon a crate, its body curled around in a tight ball with its hands childishly around its face as if it would help it further hide. From between its claws, a fearful eye peaked out and stared at her.

If this was a serpentine, she reasoned, it surely was an ugly one. Especially wearing such a red gi that seemed stretched and unfitting, yet somehow familiar... Maya took a step closer, eyeing over its form once more and lowering the lantern. "You're not a serpentine... you're... Ray?" She asked almost not believing her own words.

Any doubt left her mind when he squeaked out his awkward laugh and smiled his goofy smile. His hands fell to his lap and idly squeezed at the ruined fabric, "you caught me, surprise." Ray fidgeted.

"Ray what happened to you? Is this why you disappeared all day? We need to tell Wu right away, I'm sure he can undo this-" Maya turned to do so as she talked, only to spin around and approach him again. This time, in a much lower voice she asked, "Was it the fangpyre general?"

He blinked, unsure of what she meant, "N-no? Maya this isn't serpentine related, its, I'm-I'm not fully human." Well that's an odd way to put it.

"Then what are you?" Her voice became harder, "and why were you watching me sleep?"

"Well, I maybe kind of sort of am part dragon..." he squeaked, "and I-I can explain the second one! I was going to tell you about this but then- well you looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake you up. But then you looked at me like you wanted to kill me so I got scared and ran." Ray smiled.

Maya squinted, not buying it for a second, "does Wu know?"

"No. I rather him not know... Maybe he already does... I don't know."

"Can you change back?"

"Uhh, well, no. I'm stuck sort of."

If it was a secret enough to cause him to be in hiding all day, that certainly didn't bode well for tomorrow. "How did you end up like this in the first place, maybe we can reverse walk through this." She set the lamp down and sat on a box across from him, leaning the rod against a shelf.

Ray thought about it, "I dunno. We were all sparring in the morning and then I guess I just started thinking about how to really channel my element you know? Then I started thinking about the war and what we're fighting for and I just got so worked up about it that I felt -I dunno- sick. And thats when this happened." He flicked his tail. "My dad told me a story once, about how a dragon in our family went rogue and forced a drought that wiped out villages. What if I do the same thing?? What if I lose control when we go to fight and I hurt you?"

Maya tapped her fingers on the wood, "do you feel yourself slipping away?"

"No... but what if people think I am?"

"I think you're overthinking this."

"But what if-"

"Ray," she stopped him, "So you're part dragon and you had some bad family history. That doesn't mean anything until you prove it to mean something. My mom told me when I was a little kid that all of the great feats in my bloodline mean nothing to me unless I make them meaningful, and unless you actually want to go and make farmers mad, I don't think you'll do it." She crossed a leg over the other, "You may look differen't, but you're still the dorkishly annoying blacksmith I care about."

He looked away, "you don't think the others would be scared of me if I looked like this?"

"well... no I think they would be, which is why we should tell Wu."

"I don't want anyone else to know about this." Ray muttered.

"Then we'll make him promise not to say." Maya nodded, picking up her things. "Ill be back with him shortly."))

Ninjago textposts because. Yeah.

Sources: tumblr, Twitter, the onion, and screenshotsofdespair

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I feel like Canon doesn't appreciate that there was really literally no one there for Kai and nya during their formative years and it's made worse by the idea that they're teenagers. Cause like ok working backward:

Starting when the line got said in s 8/9. Jay says theyre "older teenagers" so that's what? 17 18? Probably 17 because most 18 year olds I've met identify as young adults.

I'd say there's about a year time skip between s7 and s8. That accounts for the appearance changes and gives Lloyd enough time to hit puberty the way he did. Personally I think it could've been 2 years but 1 makes more sense here. So that puts us at 16 in Hands of Time.

I'm willing to accept that s4-7 happened in one year. That's chill.

But there was definitely at least a six month time gap between s3 and s4. I feel like that one was also a year but I'm more willing to believe this gap was shorter. So we're still looking at 16, maybe 15 years old in Rebooted.

However this is where things get fucky bc at the beginning of this season they're teachers. Why???? Who knows. But if they're 16 here that was a poor choice, Wu.

Love you 16 year olds but I don't trust groups of you to manage children for more than a week. That shit is STRESSFUL.

Anyway.

There seems to be a time jump between s2's end and s3's beginning. Id clock that as around one to three years, personally.

And I think the pilots through Legacy of the Green Ninja all happened within the same year.

MEANING

That puts pilots Kai anywhere from 15 to 13 and working in a blacksmith shop ALONE except for the help of his baby sister who is nebulously younger than him but younger enough that he was child-sized when she was born.

And don't yall start on the babysitter bc if they had one

Where was she?

The one time she's mentioned Kai and nya seemed to have bad memories of her and often conspired to trip her and make her stumble.

Babysitters get PAID and with no parents around who was doing that paying?? Kai? Krux???

Either Kai was deemed old enough to handle an entire business by himself or all of Ignacia really just said "fuck it. Not our problem. They live or they dont." And even if he was old enough they seemed to have said that anyway. But like.

Canon does not want to explore that beyond a few lines. It goes on and on about Lloyd's tragedies (which make no mistake are HORRIBLE and he goes through way way too much) but beyond a few lines in seabound and kind of a hands of time plot it really doesn't get any light and I wish that they explored that more. The toll it takes on someone to be a kid. And be utterly alone. No help in sight.

And then the true end of the story: finally finally getting that help and more than that forging a family with people you've fought back to back with who you know would die for you as much as you would for them but even more than that that will be there during the dark and terrifying nights and hold you when you're crying and be there when you come home.

Context

Lloyd's powers don't exist in nature by default like the others', so he can't surround himself with it like they can

Thankfully the alternative isn't half bad :') <3

@stararise @spicyicymeloncat doodles inspired by yall's post :3!!!

Edit: bonus part