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🐇 CALL ME, BEEP ME BY MYUNG
💕 Pairing: Wangxian (Actor!Lan Wangji x Actor!Wei Wuxian) │ Actors / Social Media AU │ Status: Completed │ Chapters: 11
Author’s Summary:
Wen Qing ✓ @qingwenn Listen, kids. You might think you know everything there is to know about yourself but you really don’t. Be willing to grow and learn from your mistakes. Yes this is about the fact that I once dated a man and am now married to a woman.
wei ying ✓ @wei_wifi @qingwenn are u saying that dating jiang cheng was a mistake
Wen Qing ✓ @qingwenn @wei_wifi This is, in fact, exactly what I’m saying.
Jiang Wanyin ✓ @jiangchenglover @qingwenn What the fuck, dude
🐇 ALL YOUR WAVES AND BREAKERS BY ILIP13
💕 Pairing: Wangxian │ Pandemic / Quarantine Fic │ Status: Completed │ One shot
Author’s summary: Wei Ying huddles even further into himself and looks at Lan Zhan through long, enchanting eyelashes. “Is it really okay that I stayed for so long?”
I love you, the words refuse to spill from Lan Zhan’s mouth. I missed you so much. You could stay forever and that would more than okay.
“You are always welcome here,” Lan Zhan says instead. Maybe one day, on a better day, he will say the actual words that he wants, means to say.
—
Five times Wei Ying asks to stay, and one time Lan Zhan does the asking.
🐇 YEAR OF NIGHT CALL BY AILURIDAE (ABIGAILNICOLE)
💕 Pairing: Wangxian (Doctor!Lan Wangji x Doctor!Wei Wuxian) │ Doctors AU - Hospital AU │ Status: Completed │ One shot │ Colleagues & Friends to Lovers │ the Lan Babies are surgery interns
Author’s Summary: Very few jobs give you the perfect storm of moral high ground, manic energy, and being a huge dick to people on the regular that Wei Wuxian finds so satisfying about trauma surgery. However, they don’t call it trauma for its psychological wellness. A year of q2 36 hour call would be unbearable if Lan Wangji weren’t the other fellow that he shares a call bed with.
A “What If All The Cultivators Were Surgeons?” AU.
🐇R/RELATIONSHIPS BY VESPERTINEFLORA
💕 Pairing: Wangxian │ Modern AU - Social Media AU - Viral Reddit post │ Status: Completed │ One Shot │ Friends to Lovers
Author’s Summary: Lan Zhan has been in love with his best friend for nearly a decade and despite his attempts, has never managed to confess.Now that Wei Ying’s lease is almost up, there’s a chance he’ll be moving in with him soon, and Lan Zhan isn’t sure that’s something he’ll survive…The impending stress leads to a drink, which in turn leads to a desperate Reddit post that goes viral and attracts attention and advice from… well, none other than Wei Ying, resulting in a series of failed attempts at getting Wei Ying to realize just how Lan Zhan feels about him.
🐇 SYNESTHESIA BY UCHIUCHI
💕Pairing: Wangxian (College Student!Lan Wangji x College Student!Wei Wuxian) │ College AU │ Status: Completed │ One shot │ Strangers to Lovers
Author’s summary: When the darkness fades away and a face pops up, Wei Ying almost falls out of his chair.
What the fuck, he thinks. What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck.
Wei Ying counts to three, takes a breath, then shoots upwards. “Sorry, I dropped my pen,” he says, not even trying to make his lie sound convincing, because what the fuck, Lan Zhan is gorgeous. He has the brightest eyes Wei Ying’s ever seen, the nicest, longest eyelashes, and black hair draping over his shoulder. This guy has clearly won the lottery of attractive genes, which means he must be lacking in something else, like maybe his voice—
“It’s fine.”
WHAT THE FUCK, Wei Ying thinks. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK.
(In which Wei Ying and Lan Zhan, students from different universities, are assigned to complete a senior project together.)
🐇 SOME THINGS GO FORWARD BY EVERYTHINGISPOETRY
💕 Pairing: Wangxian (Cancer Patient!Lan Wangji x Volunteer!Wei Wuxian) │ Hospital AU - Sick Fic (with Happy Ending)│ Status: Completed │ Chapters: 14 │ Strangers to Lovers
Summary: “Sooo pretty” doesn’t really do it justice: it’s the most beautiful human being he’s ever seen. The jade-like pale skin. The cheekbones. The lips. The eyes, oh heavens, those eyes, and the insane waist-long hair. Wei Ying has studied art for a while now, but really, it all pales in comparison. In which Lan Zhan is a patient, Wei Ying is a volunteer (and a previous patient of the same hospital) and there is some falling in love.
🐇 THESE THINGS STAY THE SAME BY NOTEVENYOU
💕 Pairing: Wangxian (Lan Wangji x Journalist!Wei Wuxian) │Setting: Modern AU - Kid Fic │ Status: Completed │ One shot │ Friends to Lovers
Author’s Summary: After a career covering news across the world, journalist Wei Wuxian is unexpectedly on his way home with a child in tow. Unfortunately, the path home isn’t without obstacles.
🐇 ONE GOOD THING BY YUU_CHI
💕 Pairing: Wangxian (Teacher!Lan Wangji x Ghost!Wei Wuxian) │ Setting: Modern AU - Ghost AU │ Status: Completed │One shot │
Author’s Summary: Wei Wuxian has been haunting his childhood home for three years. He’s perfected the fine art of scaring away all the tenants, and has grown used to living with the dying flowers in the garden as his only company. When Lan Wangji buys the house, Wei Wuxian fully intends to drive him off too. Except Lan Wangji is beautiful, and interesting, and captivating company - even if he supposedly doesn’t know Wei Wuxian exists.
🐇 PAINT SMEARS ON SUNNY DAYS BY SNOWSHADOWAO3
💕 Pairing: Wangxian (Single Parent / Music Composer!Lan Wangji x Kindergarten Art Teacher!Wei Wuxian)│ Modern Setting: Kid Fic │ Status: Completed │ Chapters: 5
Author’s summary: To say that he runs to his car would be incorrect, as he is a Lan, and running is both undignified and unnecessary unless in immediate danger. Nor does he slam his key into the ignition, or aggressively swerve around the cars on the freeway, or have a mild panic attack at the fact he is picking A-Yuan up late from school for the first time ever.
He comes close, though.
By the time he arrives, it’s 4:35PM, and he has imagined about fifty different worse-case scenarios. The door is partly open when he gets to it, a messy label of 104B—Art Room scrawled with chalk on a placard next to the faded wood. As he opens it fully, he expects to see a wailing, terrified child, or perhaps a scene of utter misery and betrayal.
What he finds is his son, hands covered in paint, being sung to by a beautiful, dark-haired stranger.
“Ducks live in the pond, yellow ducks, happy ducks!”
Lan Wangji stops in his tracks. (Or: Falling in love with your son’s art teacher, in five parts)
🐇 WE WILL GET HIM FALLING FOR A STRANGER (OR A CATFISH) BY SWEETLOLIXO
💕 Pairing: Wangxian (College Studnt!Lan Wangji x College Student!Wei Wuxian) │ Status: Work in Progress but almost completed │ Secret Identity │ LWJ learns how to text with kaomojis │ Gossipy aunties NHS and WWX
Lan Wangji: Yingying?
Lan Wangji: Are you busy with class?
Lan Wangji: Won’t disturb you if that’s the case.
Lan Wangji: (´• ω •`)
Wei Ying wants to cry.
What jock uses kaomojis? Ever?
Or, Wei Ying is hired by a client to catfish Lan Wangji online, as a hot girl, for revenge. Except, Lan Wangji is not the playboy jock he expected…
🐇 CHILD’S PLAY BY FLOWERCITY (FAORIE)
💕 Pairing: Wangxian (Lan Wangji x Single dad!Wei Wuxian) │ Setting: Modern AU - Kid Fic │ Status: Completed │ One shot
Author’s Summary: In which Lan Zhan falls hard for the single father he met at the park, A-yuan decides his small family is in need of a new member and Wei Ying is helpless on this ride (but he loves it anyway).
🐇THE WORLD IS OUR STADIUM BY ANONYMOUS
💕 Pairing: Wangxian (Hockey Player!Lan Wangji x Hockey Player!Wei Wuxian) │Sports: Hockey AU │ Status: Completed │ One Shot │Friends to Lovers
Author’s summary: “Don’t be so vulgar,” says Wei Ying, patting Lan Zhan’s knee with a grin. “I’m just vibing on ice. You break a few bones. Win some, lose some. All in the name of the game.”
“There is no such rule in the rulebook.”
“Aiya, Lan Zhan, I can’t believe you go around memorizing rulebooks. No wonder you don’t break any bones.”
“Breaking a bone is not an accomplishment, Wei Ying.”
“Then all your bones will be brittle and sad, like wilted romaine lettuce.”
—
Wei Ying and Lan Zhan post-game, in the locker room.
🐇 WELCOME TO GUSU by PERKYNURPLES
💕 Pairing: Wangxian ( Senior Counsellor !Lan Wangji x Senior Counsellor!Wei Wuxian) │ Summer Camp AU │ Status: Work in Progress but almost completed │ Childhood Friends to Lovers
Author’s Summary: Deep in the lush forests of Gusu hides an aging resort that hosts dozens of children every summer for an unforgettable couple of weeks. It’s where Lan Wangji grew up alongside Wei Wuxian, and when his childhood friend (for the lack of a better term) surprisingly returns years later in the position of Senior Counsellor, seemingly hell bent on causing the same kind of mischief that got him kicked out of Gusu in the first place, but also taller, broader and tanner than ever before, Lan Wangji knows he’s In Trouble. Or, this fic has it all: longing looks over campfires, found family dynamics, ill-timed skinny dipping, teenagers inappropriately shipping their counsellors, LAKE MONSTERS
🐇 A SPRINTER AND A DISTANCE RUNNER WALK INTO A BAR BY HAPLESSMEDRESIDENT
💕 Pairing: Wangxian (College Student!Lan Wangji x College Student!Wei Wuxian) │ Modern Setting: College/University AU - Sports AU │ Status: Completed │ Chapters: 5
Author’s summary: Wei Wuxian got into running mostly to channel his wayward energy into something moderately productive. He didn’t expect to be podiuming for it, certainly not for an NCAA division I university to be offering a free ride through college for him to run with them.
Lan Wangji just wants to get his 400M hurdles to be less than 50 seconds.
And possibly a chance at the Olympics.
And then he sees the new Foot Locker champion – a freshman, apparently a prodigy, apparently just 17 – at the Cobb Track, and maybe he wants just a little bit more.
🐇 HOW TO BE A HEARTBREAKER BY SWEETLOLIXO
💕 Pairing: Wangxian (Sugar Daddy!Lan Wangji x Sugar Baby!Wei Wuxian) Sugar Dating AU │ Status: Completed │ Chapters: 16
Author’s summary: “Lan er gege,” Wei Ying sings out an old nickname, his lips curving up into a well-rehearsed smile. It’s adorable, and it’s pretty, and he knows it mesmerises anyone who lays their eyes on him. He has done it a million times—bewitching and convincing men who need to be convinced.
He just doesn’t expect to hear the hitch in Lan Zhan’s breath, too, and feel the taller man’s grasp around his wrist tightening.
He fell for it.
A sickening thought suddenly enters his brain, and Wei Ying wonders if he should be so cruel.
“Do you want to find a private space for us, Lan Zhan?”
🐇GROW BY CAFECLICHE
💕 Pairing: Wangxian │ Setting: Post Canon │ Status: Completed │ One shot
Author’s Summary: “Okay,” Jingyi says, as Sizhui puzzles this out aloud. “Okay! So the demon has been turning its victims into children.”
“I think so,” Sizhui says.
“To make them easier prey,” Jingyi says.
“Yes,” Sizhui says.
“So—” Jingyi’s voice cracks here, “this kid is Senior Wei.”
Wei Wuxian, still tangled in his own massive robes, blinks politely at them.
(Or: Wei Wuxian is cursed on a night-hunt, and the junior quartet rapidly finds themselves in over their heads.)
🐇 A LITTLE HAPPINESS BY SUSPICIOUS_POPSICLE
💕 Pairing: Wangxian │ Setting: Post Canon │ Status: Completed │ Chapters: 3
Author’s Summary: It was a beautiful, sunny day. A crisp, cool breeze was blowing, offset by the warm rays of the sun. The grass was vibrantly green, sprinkled with tiny white flowers. The rabbits were out, hopping contentedly around their meadow, practically begging to be picked up and cuddled. All of it was made surreal by the fact that a six-year-old Lan WangJi sat in the middle of the clearing, silently petting a black rabbit that had made itself comfortable on his lap.
Wei WuXian sat nearer the edge of the meadow, legs crossed at the ankles, chin in hand, and his elbow resting on his knee. He stared at Lan WangJi, searching for happiness in him.
🐇 AND THEY HAVE ESCAPED THE WEIGHT OF DARKNESS BY COSMICMILKTEA
💕 Pairing: Wangxian │ Canon Divergence │ Status: Completed │ One shot │Amnesia │ Memory Loss
Author’s Summary: In the aftermath of everything, the scars of thirty-three lashes heavy on his back, Lan Wangji walks.
He walks through a land ravaged by war, by hunger, by death and sheer neglect, walks through a land that the Cultivation world all but forgets in their own haste to rebuild. He upholds justice, protects the weak. Lives with his regrets.
And then, in a small village South of Qishan, he finds Wei Ying - Alive, smiling, and asking Lan Wangji for his name.
Bad batch spoilers, rated M
Imagine he gets to the planet Omega and Crosshair are on. He manages to get into the base somehow, and he doesn’t even wait for Echo and Wrecker. He doesn’t use the stun feature. The entire landing pad is gone by the time the other two join him.
He’s pushing on, through hallways. He shoots down storm troopers as he goes, paying attention to which ones are just troopers and which ones look like higher ups.
“Um, Hunter?” Echo asks, his blaster raised but still cold from disuse.
Hunter finally finds an officer. Grabs him by the throat, slams him into the wall. “Where’s Hemlock?” He growls, teeth bared.
Echo and Wrecker pause behind him, blasters raised at the ready for any back up this officer may call.
“I don’t know,” the officer chokes, hands uselessly clawing at Hunter’s arms. “But if I did, I wouldn’t tell you.”
“I believe you,” Hunter spits, and the blast in the officer’s stomach forces the man limp.
“Hunter?” Wrecker asks, eyes looking on worriedly.
Hunter doesn’t answer. He goes through a door. Another. Dead bodies pile up, never even had a chance to shoot back. Hunter doesn’t pause, doesn’t stop moving. He shoots as he goes.
Through another door. Down a flight of stairs. Another officer. He shoots everyone else, aims his blaster at the officer’s face. “Hemlock,” is all he says.
“I know where he is!” The officer says, hands raised in surrender. “I can take you to him!”
“Where is he?” Hunter growls.
“Floor -70. He’ll have heard the alarms by now. He’ll be in his bunker.”
Hunter shoves the man into Wrecker’s chest, who grabs him by the scruff of the neck and starts walking him to follow Hunter.
Elevators. Hunter fucking hates elevators. They’re slow, they force him to stand still. The officer won’t stop whimpering, face forced to look at the floor.
“Hunter,” Echo tries again.
Hunter works his jaw. Tilts his head just slightly to show he’s listening.
“What’s the plan?”
Hunter rolls his jaw again, looking back at the elevator doors. “Find Hemlock. Make him take us to Omega. Get out.”
“Are there any…in between steps?”
Hunter doesn’t answer. The door opens. He shoots down everyone running at him. Echo stuns the ones running away. Wrecker punches a few people in white coats standing in doorways.
“Take a left up here,” their captive whimpers out, refusing to look at the fallen teammates. “It’s a long hallway. His bunker will be at the very end.”
Hunter does. It’s only lab coats now. Hunter shoots them down, uncaring.
They reach the door, and Hunter kicks it in easily. It’s not a bunker. It’s an office. Hemlock isn’t there. He turns to their captive, fury turning his vision red.
“He’s supposed to be here!” The man cries, wincing as Wrecker’s hold tightens on his neck. “He said he would be here if there was ever an invasion.”
Hunter walks over to him, grabbing his chin. Wrecker lets go. The man whimpers, the words to beg for his life dying on his tongue. “I believe you,” Hunter says. For a second, a flicker of hope lights up the man’s eyes. But then those eyes go dull as Hunter quickly snaps his neck.
“Hunter!” Echo hisses, disapproval painting his voice.
Hunter ignores him. He pushes past them both, forcing his way back down the long corridor. He takes a right where he before took a left.
“Clones!” Wrecker yells, looking at the cells upon cells of locked up clones.
“I’ll let them out,” Echo says, something raw in his voice. “This must be where they’re taking the decommissioned clones. Rex was telling me about a mission to save-“
Hunter holds up a hand, indicating silence. Echo’s voice falters, stops.
Hunter listens. The prisoners are yelling, begging for release. Distractions. “Silence!” Hunter yells, after shooting three rounds into the ceiling.
Quiet. Good. He closes his eyes, focusing. “Wrecker, with me. Echo-go ahead.”
He feels more than sees Echo nod his affirmative, and he sets to work on unlocking the doors.
Hunter leads Wrecker down the hall. Left. Right. Another right. Through a door. Another left. Pauses, has to shoot a guard. Through a door.
Hunter raises the gun, aiming it at the woman in a white coat. “She looks important,” Wrecker says softly.
“My name is Emerie Karr,” she stutters out. “I’m the lead scientist.”
“And I care because?” Hunter growls, stepping forward and getting the blaster closer to her chest.
“I’m the one working on Omega and Crosshair.”
Hunter’s blood goes cold. He stops breathing. His hand shakes. “Where. Is. She?” He spits through gritted teeth.
“This way,” she says, but doesn’t indicate or move. She only stares at the blaster.
“Move!” Hunter yells, frightening her. She starts to back up, but realizes that’s not fast enough quickly. More rooms. Moor hallways. More doors. It takes no time at all and an eternity.
“She’s in this room,” Emerie says softly. “Hemlock is in there.”
“Open. The. Door.”
Wrecker moves closer, blaster trained on her. “I’ve got her, Hunter. You check it out.”
Hunter can barely hear over the blood pounding in his ears. The door opens. His blaster aims inward, no target yet. He looks around, his own breathing deafening him.
“Hunter!”
He almost breaks.
The high pitched voice is scared. Hunter momentarily worries he’s covered in blood. If he’s scaring her. But no; it’s not him. It’s Hemlock.
“Take one more step and I shoot her,” Hemlock’s low, soft voice lilts. As if he’s the one in control.
Hunter aims his blaster, teeth bared in aggression. “I won’t ask you twice,” Hunter spits.
Hemlock presses the gun more firmly into Omega’s temple, and the girl cries out in pain or fear. “You aren’t the one making demands here, Hunter.” His voice annoys Hunter, and the growl which rips through his throat is involuntary.
Hunter’s entire body is shaking with the desire to rip Hemlock apart. “Omega is too close,” Emerie whispers unhelpfully.
“Put the gun down, Hunter. It’s over. Put the gun down and let my scientist in the room. My guards will be here shortly.”
Hunter grins, too much teeth to be anything other than threatening. Any guards will be meeting the fury of countless decommissioned clones right about now.
Hemlock seems undeterred. “I’m only keeping her alive to control Nala Se. I don’t care if she lives or dies. Now that Nala Se has seen her, I can convince her Omega is safe and held in a cell. You’re the one who wants her alive.”
Hunter laughs, and it sounds so unlike anything he’s ever made before. “If you kill her, I will tear you apart, piece by piece, until you beg for mercy that won’t come.”
Hemlock has the sense to at least hesitate now. He looks between Hunter and Wrecker, whose gun is still aimed at Emerie.
Omega cries softly, not looking at Hunter anymore. “I’m scared,” she whispers.
Hunter fights back the urge to growl again. He works his jaw instead, eyes flicking from her to Hemlock. He sees movement behind the pair as he does; it takes everything inside of him to not focus on the body slowly inching towards them.
“You hear that?” Hemlock asks, voice somehow still calm and soft. Taunting. Hunter bares his teeth in rage, allowing Hemlock to think he took the bait. “She’s scared. Do you think she’s scared of me, or of you?”
Wrecker shifts behind him, and Hunter can practically see the excitement he’s trying to conceal. Hunter ignores them both. “Omega,” Hunter pleads, lowering his gun. “I’d never hurt you,” he promises.
Omega looks up, eyes full of tears. “Hunter,” she whines.
Hemlock pretends to coo, mockingly. “Hunter,” he copies, but a wicked smile distorts his face into something inhuman. Emerie’s breath catches as she notices, but Wrecker presses the blaster more firmly into the back of her neck. “Go ahead and put the gun down, Hunter. I win.”
Hunter holds his gun tighter, still lowered to point at the floor. He grits his teeth, pretending to fight himself on what to do. “It’s okay, Omega,” Hunter says softly. “Just look at me.”
Omega stares into Hunter’s eyes, her own full of tears. “I want to go home,” she says.
Hunter takes one hand off the gun, pretending to raise it in surrender. “I’m here, Omega. I’m here.”
Hemlock laughs in victory, aiming the gun instead at Hunter. Stupid, arrogant mistake. “That’s right. Put that gun down. Nice and slow.”
The blow is sudden, and hard. Hemlock loses consciousness immediately, and Omega sprints for Hunter’s arms. Hunter catches her easily, arms wrapping around her and holding her as tightly as he can.
“You lose,” Crosshair spits, swaying on his feet. He leans heavily on the bench Hemlock is now slouched over.
Wrecker hits Emerie over the back of the head with the handle of his blaster, and is pushing past Hunter and Omega before her body hits the floor. He throws Crosshair’s arm over his shoulder, using one arm to help support his weight. “I knew you were still in there somewhere,” Wrecker says lowly.
Hunter pets Omega’s hair, holding her to his chest. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you. I’m here now.”
“Hunter,” Omega cries, tiny fists clenching at his hair to keep him close.
“Hunter,” Echo calls from behind them. “Rex is on his way to get the decommissioned clones. Or…” his voice turns sad for a moment. “The ones who are left. There were a lot of guards here.”
Hunter raises himself from his kneeling position, bringing Omega with him. Her legs wrap around his waist, and he half rests her on his hip. “Good. Help Crosshair. Wrecker, grab Hemlock.” All three of his brothers hesitate, questions on the tip of their tongues. “Now,” Hunter growls.
Wrecker gently passes Crosshair to Echo, and then throws Hemlock over his shoulder. Omega buries her face in Hunter’s neck, quiet sobs breaking his heart.
They make their way to the elevator, and Hunter glares at the escapees so they won’t join them. There isn’t much room left anyway.
“I’m sorry,” Crosshair says after several minutes of silence.
Hunter looks to him, and for the first time since Ord Mantell, his face softens. He raises the hand not holding Omega to cup his shoulder, squeezing. He doesn’t say anything; he doesn’t need to. The sigh of relief Crosshair tries to hide is indicative of message received.
There’s a lot of questions which will be asked later. Later. Once they’re free from this hell planet. Once Omega is safe on their ship. Once he has time.
I’ve seen people create virtual pub quiz type events, and I wanted to gauge if the Starkid fandom would be interested if I hosted one. It would happen on a website called myQuiz (it’s kinda similar to Kahoot), and it allows up to a hundred people to take part live (I’ll try and arrange a time that will work for as many people as possible).
I just thought it would be a fun way to bring the fandom together during these tough times, and might end up being quite fun, so if you’re interested please like/reblog so that I can make this happen!
Has anyone already theorized that there's link between wiggly's whole asthetic being green and Ethan's last name being Green or am I just thinking way too much about this???
Hi everyone! I’m so happy everyone has been enjoying this story so far! Here’s the next part, I hope you enjoy! If anyone wants to be added to the tag list let me know!
Summary: 11 years later, Harry Hook is plagued by nightmares always relating to a child in a meadow. With Uma gone, Harry is temporarily in charge, which means he has to deal with the odd events occurring in the market. While investigating, Harry meets a new VK who is alarmingly alluring and familiar.
Word Count - 2,230
Warnings: Angst, Nightmares, Brief Language
11 Years Later…
Lees verder
Hi guys! I am loving the fact that so many of you have been loving this story! This story is near and dear to my heart, I planned out so many aesthetic boards, Pinterest boards, and even outfit ideas to get here so I’m happy this story is taking off!
Summary: Harry Hook cannot sleep, his dream is changing, the Mysterious Siren plagues his mind, and he feels a calling to an unknown place hidden somewhere on the Isle. Although early morning walks lead Harry to some answers.
Warning(s): Nightmares, mention of injury/blood, angst(?), Language
Word Count: 4118 (oops)
Lees verder
so my friend had this realisation
(credit of video and audio to starkid ofc)
This is a very random post, but I just remembered this story my mother told me about her mother (my grandmother).
Basically, they were somewhere in France and they just had lunch in this cute little cafe and my grandmother went inside to pay. She wanted to pay with card because reasons, but back in the day, long long ago, paying with card wasn't really all that normal at the time, so she had to ask first.
The problem here is that my (Dutch) grandmother asked if she could pay with a
"card postale"
Which translated to Dutch literally means postal card (which is how you used to do credit card payments back in the day, apparently), but translated correctly means postcard.
So anyway, you have this annoyed feisty lady practically yelling that she would like to pay for her food with a postcard and a very confused waiter who tried to explain that you cannot pay with postcards for food and my grandfather who was just laughing real hard.
So long story short, my grandparents are fucking hilarious.
a lesson on nonbinary individuals and why we feel the way we do about numerous basic things, such as the mere fact of our existence and our pronouns.
Credit: @juliehangart