It Hurts Me Physically That He’s Not Mine We’d Be So Disgustingly Toxic And Perfect Together Don’t

FUCK THIS PLACE, FUCK EVERYTHING, FUCK EVERYONE, I HATE EVERYTHING. I JUST WANT TO FUCKING DIE OMG

it’s hard to hate someone when you can remember what it was like to love them. I wish I could erase all memories of you from my mind.

i want to live out my anger, i want to be able to scream and smash, i want to defend myself like an adult. then why am i crying every time

At this point being in love with you has become a part of my personality. So what’ll happen if I stop?

bpd culture is needing everyone to love you constantly

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Can’t feel anger without physically punching walls or holding in the intrusive violent urges so much that it makes my arms physically burn and hurt

Can’t look at someone who’s even moderately attractive without desperately falling in love and imagine a whole life together

Can’t feel “happy” or moderately excited without feeling like my chest is about to burst and the only way to get it out is to literally vibrate and yell

Can’t feel sad without spiralling immediately into just wanting to stop existing

Can’t feel nervous without teeth chattering chest burning about to throw up

Or just don’t feel anything at all when (apparently) I am supposed to

bpd culture is wishing you could feel emotions normally

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Idk normalize wanting nothing to do with your fp and hating them and then wanting them to stay

i literally have to lay down after every minor task. going to the supermarket is a herculean effort. how am i supposed to live a life like this

I hope you die, *****. Or I hope you move away forever and I never see you again. But it’d be satisfying if you just died. I wish I could forget you existed and erase all my memories of you. But it’d be more realistic if you just died.