These Are Really Fuckin Cute

We are forced to live in a system that steals from us daily, Kill snitch culture.

Headcanons about keith hitting on lance since the garrison and lance not realizing it??

‘headcanon’  isn’t this canon tho???? (part 2 is here)

Okay, so poor Keith isn’t… the most in touch with his feelings. He saw a cute and funny boy (((lance))) and didn’t know how to deal with it so their first interaction went a liiitle something like this: 

L: Hey, i’m Lanc-

K: go fucking die in a ditch

Not the best start. Keith tried to make it up after that but he still came off aggro:

L: did you get #7 on the homework?

K, internally: say ‘no but can i get your number?” 

K (what he really said): No. get your number, idiot.

L, shaking his head: literally what have i ever done to you?

It’s not only Keith’s fault, though. As we know, Lance is a bit jealous of Keith and he has all this stress and weight on him to be the best. Because both this and their first interactions, Lance is hating Keith, who’s actually gotten less aggro: 

K: Nice weather out there.

L: Yeah but your ugly personality is ruining it for me

K:……………i’m gonna go over there now.

– Even when Keith gets better at flirting, it still happens –

K: so, i like your shirt. It brings out your eyes. 

L: Was that an insult, mullet?

K: …no

L: So you think i’m an idiot? 

K: I… just complimented your shirt.

L, walking away: sure you did. 

K, very confused: what?

Fast forward to the pilot episode and Keith and Lances first reaction in it: 

Keith just broke into a military base and is saving his presumably dead brother figure, just ur average day you know? 

Lance is there now, and Keith basically reverts to his old aggro ways

K, internally: Tell him you know and admire him

K (what he actually says): Do i know you? 

K, internally: F U C K 

Keep reading

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if you’re reading this

a lump sum of money is on the way to you

reblog if ur a disgusting piece of shit

Has my heart T^T

Tony Stark,

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ。 I love you 3000 ‧₊ :･ﾟ*

    ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

I can’t b r e a t h

Peter, v-logging with his phone camera: Hi I’m Spi- I mean, Peter Parker, and today we’re going to witness firsthand people’s reactions after they’re told they have big dick energy. Let’s go!

Peter: What’s up, Thor. Dude, I just wanted you to know that you radiate big dick energy today.

Thor: God of thunder in the streets, god of big dick in the sheets, I suppose.

Peter, checking to see if he’s still recording then proceeding to give a thumbs up: I stan so hard. Legends only.

Peter, bumping into Steve reading the paper: Cap! Ah, have a moment? Word on the street is that you have big dick energy. Thoughts?

Steve, choking on his coffee: I-I guess the serum did have… its effects…

Peter: Oh my god.

Peter, finding Bucky watering flowers: Hey, man. Love what you did with your hair today, may I enlighten you on the fact that you have, putting it modestly, very big dick energy?

Bucky, looking into the camera like he’s on the office: …Parker what the hell.

Peter, breaking into the sanctum: Wow doctor, looks like you got a super serious case of chronic big dick energy there.

Strange: Listen. There’s kinetic, potential, thermal, chemical, electrical, even the vague concept of dark energy. But there is no big dick or whatever you just—

Peter: You’re no fun.

Peter, after buying a plane ticket and flying to Wakanda unsupervised: As king and black panther, your highness, your reign is supreme and so is your big dick energy.

T'challa, amidst a breakdown: Noo!!! Stop!! You and Shuri, I am begging you, please, I have no idea what that means!!!!

Peter, approaching Tony relaxing on a lounge chair: Now for The Man. The one and only, genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. Mr. Stark, are you aware you have big dick energy?

Tony, lowering his shades: Kid, I invented big dick energy.

Peter, tearing up: I know.

I feel like Lance would be the one to propose but it’d in the worst possible situation.

Like, he doesn’t have a ring or a special night planned, it’s just a sudden thought he has when they’re in the middle of battle.

Keith and Lance have been dating for a while now (a year? Five? Idk, you decide) and one day when the team is separated and Keith and Lance are swarmed by Galra fleets. They’re standing back to back, covering each other.

And Lance just turns around and looks at Keith and all he thinks is

Holy shit I love this boy, I have to marry him.

So he’s trying to tell Keith but hey, these two are in the middle of battle they don’t have time to talk about marriage and a happily ever after.

But then they both manage to find cover. Lance is laying down defence fire before darting back down to where Keith is lying with his sword, trying to contact the others through the damaged comms and Lance just says over the sound of explosions and gun shots

“I want to marry you!”

And Keith is shocked at first, trying to process what his boyfriend just said and Lance repeats himself

“Lets get married!”

before Keith’s all like

“You’re proposing to me NOW?!”

And Lance tries to explain between attacks that he knows they’re at war and it’s the worst time to get married but he also knows that they could lose each other and at any moment and he wants to be able to call him his husband even if it’s just for one day.

And Keith just grabs his hand and runs through enemy lines, taking out Galra soldiers and telling him how much of an idiot he is.

But as they’re running away, Lance feels Keith’s hand tighten around his and he just says “yes”

And at first Lance is confused until Keith just glances back at him

“If we manage to get out of this alive, then yes, I will marry you.”

And Lance gets the biggest smile on his face because he has a fiance

Bonus:

Pidge over the comms: “Did my virgin ears just hear a marriage proposal”

MORE HEADCANONS!!! please?

You guys are lucky I have like, a mega list of these lol.

Lance sleeps like a corpse.

It was something he sort of trained himself to do, mostly because the first time he tried using a face mask at night it got everywhere and his mother nearly skinned him alive

so yeah, he’s a log, and will tend to stay in one place on the bed from dusk to dawn

Keith on the other hand, tosses and turns like the rugrat he is

He’ll wake up with his sheets halfway off the bed and his pillows thrown across the room wondering why he has a huge kink in his neck.

oh yeah, because he slept with it hanging over the edge of the bed (-_-)

Needless to say their first night sleeping in the same bed starts off great, with Lance relishing in having Keith curl up into his side like a little koala, and they both fall asleep fairly easily

but then Keith happens.

Lance wakes up in the middle of the night wondering groggily why Keith’s fucking foot is on the pillow and where the hell is his other half?!

And, Oh there it is. On the floor. 

Like seriously Keith how is that even comfortable you human slinky.

so Lance hoists him back up, shifts so that Keith is on the inside of the bed facing the wall, and wraps his limbs around the boy to keep him secure

It works, for the most part, but Lance wakes up the next morning without any feeling whatsoever in his arms and legs

he doesn’t mind too much though, because goddamn Keith is really cute in the morning

Plus Keith feels super bad about waking Lance up and sort of..coddles Lance all day afterwards.

so yeah, Lance doesn’t mind at all.

Keith is really good a naming smells

Like…scary good

The team will be walking around on some weird ass planet and Keith will just, without batting an eye, drop a line like:

the air smells like wet cotton candy mixed with spit.

And the others can’t even be mad because what the fuck it actually does?! 

It’s like his superpower or something, and there has yet to be an odour Keith can’t name, or at least relate to something else

K: Lance your hair smells like pine tree sap and wet dirt

L: …is that a good thing?

K: yeah.

L: Oh! Okay then!

Shiro is actually the one that asks him to stop the most

mostly because he grew up with this shit and so many things have been ruined for him

like, one time Keith said his hair gel smelled like freshly opened packaged meat, and he’s never recovered

Keith is also hella good with kids

No one really knows why, but youngsters just flock towards him

Hunk calls him the Pied Piper of Children and it would be cute if it wasn’t so goddamn true

Every planet they visit that has kids on it immediately run up to Keith, or else hold his hand or cling to his legs.

he’s just as confused as the others because I’m not even fun! I just stand here!

Lance was super jealous at first, because I have the siblings, so I should be the one who these children worship. and I’m more experienced, why do they love Keith?!

It must be the mullet.

But after they start dating Lance just finds it adorable, and has to stifle a part of him that really wants kids of his own one day each time he sees Keith bend to pick up a young’un

The others tease him relentlessly whenever they see him watching Keith interact with babies. 

Lance you’re making the face again

L: What face?

The ‘I’m so madly in love with Keith’ face

L: I’m not!

He is.

Lance speaks Spanish around the castle

At first it was just for fun, singing lyrics and what not

but after having a reoccurring nightmare about never seeing his family again, he sort of does it now to try and keep his language alive

The other’s don’t really know why Lance has suddenly started speaking strictly in Spanish to Blue, but don’t question it

Keith does, because he’s curious, and Lance tells him the reason behind it

After that Keith makes an effort to learn some Spanish phrases that he surprises Lance 

Lance cries.

He denies it, but he did.

Keith comforted him, and there was a lot of cuddling involved.

Lance’s favourite colour, despite popular belief, is not actually blue

It’s grey

Like the colour of thunderstorms and rain

Or waves as they lap the beach when it’s overcast out

Or Keith’s eyes in certain lighting…

Not many people know this, except Hunk and Keith, simply because it’s not something he tends to share

But Keith makes a point of beginning to collect pictures of storms and oceans from Earth specialty shops whenever they visit alien malls 

Lance keeps them all pinned up by his headboard, where he’ll sit and stare at them on days when he’s feeling extra gloomy about missing Earth

And if Keith’s with him, he’ll turn off the light and just gaze into his eyes, watching as they shift from a dark indigo to a heavy grey as the shadows play with his irises

That usually doesn’t last long though, since they end up making out, both thinking god why is he so attractive! as they let their lips do the talking

Again, stopping myself here. Some of these made their way into one of my fics….