Brock08 - Untitled

I’d love to hear your voice and see your smile again. You’ve been on my mind a lot these last couple weeks, I found a few of your old notes and doodles as I was sorting through my storage preparing for the move. Even with the time that has passed and everything that has happened, they brought a much needed smile to my face as everything else in my life has seemed to be in an uncontrollable downward spiral. Even if I don’t hear from you, thank you for those moments. They have helped me through some difficult and uncertain times. You are missed more than I know how to express. I hope you see this and this message finds you in good spirits and doing well.

I can’t explain why I still feel the way I do, I have every reason not to care or feel anything towards you, but I still care so much. I can’t move on because I don’t want to do that to someone else, and so I’m just stuck in this emptiness. I wish I could just feel nothing at all.

““You need someone that loves your soul more than your body” - Unknown”

—

Time to quit drinking again, while the momentary numbness is kinda nice, it’s not really doing anything for me but turning me against myself and pushing all those I care about away. So let’s try this whole sobriety thing out again, it’s going to be rough at first, especially alone. I know it will be more than worth it in the end. I can’t keep doing this to myself, I’ve thrown away too much already.

I still miss you every single day

Well, the Xterra is finally running again, just some little things to fix. I found a place to move into so I’m no longer homeless, even got offered another place to stay on the same day. Picked up a second job doing farm work and construction. Things are going really well today, and some of my stress is finally starting to go away. Now just to figure out everything with the court and get that taken care of and life will be somewhat back to normal.

Congratulations, you lost me 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Newish state, new to me car, new job; things were looking up then my dog goes and unsnaps his collar like he’s the next reincarnation of Houdini, runs out in the road and gets hit by a car. All of this happened about 5-10 mins before I got back from work. One week, 4k, and lots of ups and downs but he’s making a decent recovery and will hopefully fully recover.