Prompt:

sitting here. unkissed. when will it end

Literally anyone meeting bruce and his family for the first time: So how did you get so many kids by 30?

Dick: HE WAS A TEENAGE DELINQUENT

Jason: *shouting over him* HE LEFT MY MOTHER AT THE ALTAR

*tim is sitting, just happy to be included*

Bruce: BE-quiet.  They're ADOPTED!

Jason: *not a beat missed* Because he’s never known the touch of a woman.

We need to go back to using sailing ships full time like immediately. Yes it would take longer to get places but the Aesthetic is unmatched

Like there is nothing sexier hthan this

Damian gets into trouble at school a lot and every time the principal calls up one of Damian’s family members to come in and deal with the latest issue Bruce has to scramble around whatever crime-problem they’re swamped with at the time to get either him or Dick or Alfred down to the school, but sometimes they just can’t and have to let the principal know that nobody can come, except the principal makes a big stink about SOMEBODY having to show up for this kid, and so to avoid looking neglectful Bruce reluctantly agrees and says somebody will be down there soon.

Damian’s principal watches as this 200+ pound brick shit-house of a guy casually wanders into the school with the most menacing glare on his face as he sips from a starbucks cup, slings his other hand into the pocket of his leather jacket, ignores her completely to turn to Damian and go ‘fuck’d you do now?’

‘fighting.’ Damian responds, looking slightly proud, sitting straight up in his seat. brick shit-house man sticks his bottom lip out and nods consideringly.

‘opponent get a hit on you?’

‘of course not. i used that move you showed me when i was four. executed it perfectly.’

brick shit-house man nods again in approval, sticking out his cup. ‘nice. you get the rest of my oreo frappe as a reward.’

Damian takes the drink and sips it delicately, preening under the guys praise. the kid Damian had been called in for fighting, of whom had been whining about how Damian should be suspended for his actions, had grown nervously silent at the sight of the frankly massively intimidating man, as had his equally vocal mother. brick shit-house man doesn’t grant them a glance, instead looking at the principal.

‘so can we go now? i was in the middle of an interrogation when Bruce called.’

hesitating slightly, the principal asks who this man is, in relation to her student.

‘none of your fucking business.’

ok then. after double checking that Damian was ok with leaving with the man, there wasn’t much she could do but say yes and hope her acquiescing would save her from the weight of his glare. as they leave, she hears Damian innocently ask if he could aid with the interrogation, being as he was now free for the afternoon.

‘are you kidding? Bruce would hate me if i let you near that shit.’ a beat. ‘so yeah but like don’t fuckin tell him.’

the next time Bruce Dick or Alfred can’t make it down to the school on short notice, the principal assures them they can reschedule.

saw an absolutely hilarious animal crossing theory that i now 100% accept and it’s that in the animal crossing world, humans are going extinct, and so all the animals have locked you in an elaborate zoo enclosure and are trying to give you enrichment. and that’s why they give you infinite pointless tasks, hide money in trees and rocks, invented debt that doesnt matter etc. it’s why they always act so happy to see you even after you raze the entire island, relocate their houses twice, and always act so pleased about your choices no matter what. it’s all to keep their little endangered human healthy and enriched. and thinking of it this way has genuinely improved my experience of the game

from left to right: clark, bruce, diana

Literally anyone meeting bruce and his family for the first time: So how did you get so many kids by 30?

Dick: HE WAS A TEENAGE DELINQUENT

Jason: *shouting over him* HE LEFT MY MOTHER AT THE ALTAR

*tim is sitting, just happy to be included*

Bruce: BE-quiet.  They're ADOPTED!

Jason: *not a beat missed* Because he’s never known the touch of a woman.

Despite what you may have heard Bruce Wayne is not, in fact, a furry.

He is, however, very opinionated.

Shoutout to people who relapse quick.

Shoutout to people who try to recover, but it doesn’t ever last long.

Shoutout to the people who want to get better, but they’re struggling to start.

I see so many people comforting those far into recovery who’ve relapsed, saying that it is a normal part of recovery and they will be okay. Which is completely true! But I rarely see that same energy for people who haven’t been clean for long or who relapse often.

It’s hard to get your footing in recovery. Wanting to get better and taking steps to get better are two very different things; one much harder than the other.

Even a quickly failed attempt at recovery is something worth celebrating.

Trying to recover, knowing you probably won’t stay clean for long, and still deciding to try again is something impressive.

The only consistent trait in recovery from anything is relapsing at least once. If you don’t relapse, then you haven’t done the work to heal the cause of your destructive behavior. Relapse is integral to healing.

While it is ideal that these relapses are few and far between, that is something that is just unattainable for some.

I often see comments on tiktok that talk about how annoying it is when someone says “one second clean” or something along those lines, but I couldn’t disagree more. I am such a strong believer that every single second you aren’t acting on self destructive impulses is an accomplishment.

Especially if you’re actively resisting that behavior.

Relapse is normal in recovery. That includes relapses that happen after months of being clean, and relapses that happen within hours of being clean. While you should always strive to go longer and longer without relapsing, any amount of time spent not relapsing is something to be proud of.

Intent matters. Wanting to get better matters, even if you aren’t making much progress, is something to celebrate. Strive to be better, but don’t forget the little victories along the way.

you. yes you, person with rejection sensitive dysphoria. this message is for you. your friends DON'T hate you. they aren't mad at you. they aren't talking behind your back or wished to cut their friendship with you. they love you and treasure you and they are good people who wouldn't hurt you like that! ok, that's all. have a nice day.