You Don't Understand There's A Part Of Me That Wants Alfred Pennyworth To Never Age But There's Another

Eddie, posting to Tiktok at three in the morning: I think it’s perfectly okay if you’re a restless sleeper or you sleepwalk. That’s fine. I just think you should have goals…that’s not leaving my house.

Eddie: That makes it sound like I kidnapped someone. I didn’t. It’s just… My husband has been walking around in a circle for the last fifteen minutes

Eddie: And I want to go to bed but I can’t until he does because he has this bad habit of escaping and ending up at a hospital…or the woods.

Eddie: And yeah, I’m glad he’s not trying to break my ribs or- *flinches in surprise when a hand is suddenly shoved in front of his face*

Eddie, eyes flickering off screen: …yes?

Steve, after a long pause: Six dollar

Eddie, who adores sleeptalking Steve: For what?

Steve: Book fair

Eddie: …I have never wanted to live in your brain more than I do right now.

titans tower

WHY THE FUCK IS DANNY PHANTOM TRENDING???? WHY IS THERE A DANNYPOCALYPSE????? WHAT IS UP WITH APRIL 3RD???????? HELP???????????

Teeth are bullshit. What do you mean you’re decaying. Get a fucking grip. You’re a bone now act like it. You don’t see my finger bones decaying from jerking it too much now do you

nothing really interests me lately, a tiny zine

made this to finally get out of the "i can't create anything" mindset i was in, hopefully now that i've finally made something i can leave myself alone about it :,)

identity reveals are always fun

distracted at work

i like the idea that red hood is to crime alley what daredevil is to hell's kitchen in the dd comics. in the way that:

Jason: *in full red hood gear, walking through an alley* homeless man next to him: hey, todd. how's patrol? jason: *grinning under his helmet* i don't know if you need new glasses---or maybe a memory boost, jimmy---but the todd kid is dead. i, obviously, am not. homeless man: *snickers* yeah sure, sure, jason

Jason: *walking down the street in civvies* passerby: hey! hood! i have some info for you, drug deal goin' on 'round the docks jason: *raises brow* yeah? well, i ain't hood . . . but i'll take that info to him if ya want. he patrols near my apartment passerby: you keep tellin' yourself that, dude

batman: have you seen the criminal Red Hood? crime alley resident: *lighting a cigarette, making continual eye contact with batman* I'm blind. haven't seen anyone batman: *examines the woman* obviously not. you can see me just fine crime alley resident: ya ain't ever heard of selective vision impairment? it's totally a thing batman:

little girl: hey, hood. th' cops were lookin' fer ya jason: hmm. what did ya tell 'em? little girl: t' stick it where th' sun don't shine jason: *high-fives her* i'm going to buy you an entire toy store, kid