Buffchonkfroggo - AaaAAAAAA

"save me, substance abuse!" i cry. before you can moralize to me about the dangers of addiction, a noble and powerful steed gallops into the room - my horse whom i have named "substance abuse". you learn an important lesson about making assumptions. i snort a line off its back

A hitman who advertises his services the way a commission artist does

Super fucked up that having the feels-like-shit disorder makes you feel like shit

There are a lot of fics about the Justice League finding out about Batman's children via a series of circumstances leading to Nightwing joining the League (usually against Batman's will)

and I LOVE this trope, don't get me wrong, but I'd like to imagine a situation where it doesn't happen like that. I want a situation where Nightwing joins the League, but he and Batman play it off well enough that the JL doesn't put them together. They notice that they work well together, sure, and Batman seems to trust Nightwing easier than the other new members, but no one questions it because Nightwing is good.

And the JL reaches a point where it's been months or even years and they still don't know.

Until Nightwing gets hurt. They've seen him hurt before, but he gets hurt. Bleeding out, affected by fear toxin, whatever, the point is, he's in bad shape. And Nightwing - strong, crooked grin, happy facade - screams. He screams for his dad - a word that he never uses, but that doesn't matter now, because he's scared, and he's hurt, and he just wants to go home.

And nobody knows what to do. Every single League member very quickly realizes that they know nothing about this guy. Everyone wonders about Batman because he seems so mysterious, but Nightwing always seemed so open, and it's only in that moment that they realize they have no actual information on him.

But that only last for a split second, because, of course Batman reacts first. He runs to his side and starts to stabilize his injuries while assuring him in a voice that they've never heard before, a voice that is distinctly not his Batman growl, that he's right there and it's all going to be okay.

And Nightwing... well, he stops calling out for his father. And he doesn't stay in the watchtower infirmary after that. When they ask Batman where he took him, he just tells them home.

Nightwing's back a few months later, and that's when they start asking him if he's really Batman's kid, and he just smiles the same crooked grin and says, Of course. You didn't know?

get in bitches, we're surviving rock bottom no matter how much further we dig. one day we'll put down the shovel and climb out of this for good. we have to. as long as we're still alive there is hope.

we fuckin hate Uther in this house but those times he'd look at Merlin and be like "wtf is wrong with Arthur rn??" were so funny

like Uther was very firmly on the you're too close to this boy train but the moment Arthur was doing something weird he'd look at Merlin like "boy fix this rn"

aesthetic attraction is wild bc it’s like “yes i’m asexual but i’m also very gay and women are extremely hot”

Damian gets into trouble at school a lot and every time the principal calls up one of Damian’s family members to come in and deal with the latest issue Bruce has to scramble around whatever crime-problem they’re swamped with at the time to get either him or Dick or Alfred down to the school, but sometimes they just can’t and have to let the principal know that nobody can come, except the principal makes a big stink about SOMEBODY having to show up for this kid, and so to avoid looking neglectful Bruce reluctantly agrees and says somebody will be down there soon.

Damian’s principal watches as this 200+ pound brick shit-house of a guy casually wanders into the school with the most menacing glare on his face as he sips from a starbucks cup, slings his other hand into the pocket of his leather jacket, ignores her completely to turn to Damian and go ‘fuck’d you do now?’

‘fighting.’ Damian responds, looking slightly proud, sitting straight up in his seat. brick shit-house man sticks his bottom lip out and nods consideringly.

‘opponent get a hit on you?’

‘of course not. i used that move you showed me when i was four. executed it perfectly.’

brick shit-house man nods again in approval, sticking out his cup. ‘nice. you get the rest of my oreo frappe as a reward.’

Damian takes the drink and sips it delicately, preening under the guys praise. the kid Damian had been called in for fighting, of whom had been whining about how Damian should be suspended for his actions, had grown nervously silent at the sight of the frankly massively intimidating man, as had his equally vocal mother. brick shit-house man doesn’t grant them a glance, instead looking at the principal.

‘so can we go now? i was in the middle of an interrogation when Bruce called.’

hesitating slightly, the principal asks who this man is, in relation to her student.

‘none of your fucking business.’

ok then. after double checking that Damian was ok with leaving with the man, there wasn’t much she could do but say yes and hope her acquiescing would save her from the weight of his glare. as they leave, she hears Damian innocently ask if he could aid with the interrogation, being as he was now free for the afternoon.

‘are you kidding? Bruce would hate me if i let you near that shit.’ a beat. ‘so yeah but like don’t fuckin tell him.’

the next time Bruce Dick or Alfred can’t make it down to the school on short notice, the principal assures them they can reschedule.