Wishing all undiagnosed/partially diagnosed people a very doctors listening to you and providing you with more testing than a blood draw and even possibly providing treatment 2024
"I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy" well I fucking would
or AKA Ra's finding the Evil Overlord List and making use of it to become a better and more devious overlord
So in my random rant my mind came up with idea and latched onto it's absolute high comedy potential so lemme just stash out all the wonderful wonderful scenarios my mind managed to come up with for Ra's to drive the bats mad
12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation. : The bats break into Ra 's throne room ready for a full fight, weapons ready, stances turned so they’re blocking each other's blind spots only... for Ra's to seem disgruntled instead of smug or outraged. They are only made aware of another presence when Ra's turns to the...playpen!?? next to his throne to address the toddler happily playing there by themselves "Tell me little one, were my plans and codes this terrible?" and they watch on with horrified fascination as the toddler goes on and points out the most ridiculous and childish points to be faulted with his plans that the bats made good use of to get here and to their stunned surprise Ra's doesn't go into a rage because his plans got ridiculed by a literal toddler but has a disgruntled but all the same pleased look on his face as if stunned his idea actually worked and addresses the child once again "Well done my little advisor, this great work calls for a reward of ice cream after dinner" as the toddler cheers joyfully swinging the toy held in their hands happily in the air, all the bats simultaneously check themselves for drugs finding no such a luck
142. If I have children and subsequently grandchildren, I will keep my three-year-old granddaughter near me at all times. When the hero enters to kill me, I will ask him to first explain to her why it is necessary to kill her beloved grandpa. When the hero launches into an explanation of morality way over her head, that will be her cue to pull the lever and send him into the pit of crocodiles. After all, small children like crocodiles almost as much as Evil Overlords and it's important to spend quality time with the grandkids: Bruce in his full Batman regalia breaks down Ra's bedroom door only to find him holding... a toddler once again. Only this time the toddler seems to resemble both of them a bit too much for it to be a coincidence. Bruce is even more stunned when Ra's looks at him, face not giving anything away all the while his eyes gleam mischievously. Before Bruce could prepare himself for anything Ra's would throw his way Ra's opens his mouth "Well not like it is an unpleasant turn of events but what do I owe the pleasure of the great detective coming to visit me in person?" Bruce manages to snap back into the situation and growls out with a low threatening voice "Don't play coy with me Ra's. You know well enough what you did. Now you can come with me peacefully or we can do this the hard way" he says while preparing for the imminent showdown not expecting the following words coming out of his opponent’s mouth "Well great detective while don't you explain to my darling grandson why you would want to hurt his poor poor fragile grandfather" the shock of the words make his eyes snap to the small child held loosely in the immortal's arms looking at him with their big green eyes. Body locked, mind frozen he tries to bluster up an answer for the tiny innocent child's sake only for them to pull a string Bruce never paid mind to. The floor opens under them, and they fall, not having time to jump out of the way, only barely stopping themselves from landing in the water full of...crocodiles!? with a batarang stabbed into the stone walls. And still in the room little Damian let out an utterly happy and mildly feral but all the while blinding smile seeing his scheme work. He bounced in Ra's lap happily while he looked down indulgently. After all, this was his grandson's first successful scheme against his father. This is in order of a celebration. Maybe he could get his grandson some more crocodiles; he seemed to adore them immensely with their deadly beauty and fierce disposition, Ra’s mused as he walked off with his grandson buzzing in excitement held in his arms not sparing a thought for the man stuck in the hole, in the middle of his room, with a bunch of hungry predators.
158. I will exchange the labels on my folder of top-secret plans and my folder of family recipes. Imagine the hero's surprise when he decodes the stolen plans and finds instructions for Grandma's Potato Salad: Tim steals a file labeled as one of Ra’s super-bad-if-it-actually-goes-trough plans only.. For it to be a copy of a hand written recipe of kabsa instead of the supposed plans of action. It’s a copy of Ra’s grandma’s great recipe book. He watches in great enjoyment through the cameras as the realization sets in, saving the glorious moment with a well timed screenshot of the feed to be safely tucked away into his folder of epic bat fails.
Tim: Hood is my emotional support brother
Duke: Red hood the crime lord who put heads in a duffel bag is your emotional support?!
Tim: Well the emotion he supports is rage
get in bitches, we're surviving rock bottom no matter how much further we dig. one day we'll put down the shovel and climb out of this for good. we have to. as long as we're still alive there is hope.
levels of headcanon:
This is heavily supported by text/subtext and is likely what the creators intended for me to get from this
this is sort of supported by the text and could, conceivably be what the creators intended for me to get from the text/subtext
there is no evidence either way
there is slight evidence against my headcanon, but I don’t care
I’ve stopped giving a crap about canon
The Batfamily, by proxy of being raised by Bruce (undercover pro, lies every other word) and Alfred (actor in another life and in possession of the world’s blankest poker face), are probably the best at just running with something (a con, a secret identity, an undercover job, etc) and acting it out 100% believably. With zero hesitation.
Someone runs up to Red Hood one night in an alley and says “pretend to be my boyfriend! please, he’s following me!” and suddenly that’s not Jason Todd, Crime Lord. That’s Todd from the upper east side, and what the fuck man? leave her alone, you’re fucking tripping!
Etc etc.
my villain deku design
DPxDC Prompt where, for whatever reason, Danny enters Wayne Manor. Maybe for a gala, maybe while actually following a bat back to the cave. In any case-- how he enters the manor isn't quite as important as how he leaves it.
There are protections and wards around the Batcave and Wayne Manor, and, due to his halfa status, Danny can interact… strangely with these wards. There is one ward in particular that allows him to enter the premises with no issues, but, well-- He hasn't been able to leave now. And it's kind of a problem.
Danny has now been squatting in the manor for several days, trying to think up a plan.
hmmm why does my uterus hurt and why do i feel kinda off. weird. surely these are not the warning symptoms of a predictable biological process that occurs on a regular schedule. anyway. im going to wear white pants today.
blowing a kiss to all the disabled people who cant work and a kiss to all the disabled people who shouldnt be working but have to because of their circumstances and a kiss to disabled people who have never and will never work and a kiss to the disabled people who dont want to work your worth is not measured by your productivity ily
Bug || 22 they/them || pure chaos + lots of neurodivergent and Batman shit
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