You know how people have started telling their kids “if you get lost go find a goth/punk person” bc (rightfully so) like this wild cultural shift has led to us being seen as safe, trustworthy responsible ppl?
Okay
Well
It got me thinking about punk Steve (again. Of corse) and this being a single dad! Eddie steddie meet cute.
I don’t know what’s funnier. Eddie telling little Max and Dustin that if they get lost they should look for someone who looks like him/his friends, someone goth/punk/metal. Or his kids doing it on their own volition. Bc the housewives with their little strollers always give their dad dirty looks and mean sneers in the grocery store but the people who look like their dad and his friends are always nice to him.
However it goes, one day Steve’s at the super market and he feels a small hand tug on the bottom of his battle jacket and a small voice say “excuse me mister?”
And he looks down and this little pippy long stockings kid is looking up at him with a wobbly lip and tears in her eyes and he’s like instantly on alarm and panicked.
“Hey friend, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Where’s your mom?”
“I got lost and I can’t find my daddy and my brother”
“Hey, that’s okay, we’ll find them together. Insta gonna be okay. What do they look like?”
“Uuuh. My daddy looks like you. But with more hair”. And Steve snorts a laugh because yup, that makes sense. Usually parents tell their kids to stay a million miles away from him at all times. Corse this kid is a punks baby. “What’s your bother look like? He got hair like you? What’s his name?”
“Dustin. He’s got brown hair and a big dumb hat”.
Steve snorts. “Think your funny?”
And the little girl giggles. Cool. Good. Mission accomplished.
“So we’re looking for dad and Dustin. Dustin’s got a big dumb hat and dads wearing a jacket like me, yeah?” And she nods. Cool. Okay that’s easy to find. “And what’s your name?” “I’m max”. “That’s a cool name max. I’m steve”
And so Steve and the little girl make a couple laps around the grocery store calling out for Dustin, and finally, finally, they hear panting and squeaking rubber and “max! Oh my god max! You scared the crap out of me!” And this- oh. This gorgeous metal head is running up to the girl and pulling her into his arms, mumbling a string of “don’t scare me like that again” and “I’m sorry baby I’m so sorry baby” and “I was worried sick”.
Sure enough there’s a little kid, bout the same height as max in a big dumb hat next to him.
Metal head dilf finally puts max down whose now hugging dustin who looks just as distraught at their dad was, and the metal head finally takes Steve in.
A glint catches in his eyes.
“You find this nice man to help you?” He asks. And she nods.
“Oh man, thank you so much I’m so sorry for the trouble” he apologizes. Steve just chuckles. “Hey it’s okay, I’m just glad we found you guys. Was getting worried for a few there. I’m Steve” Eddie takes the hand Steve extended. “I’m Eddie, I swear to god I don’t usually loose my kids” and steve laughs. “Hey, it happens to everyone, don’t sweat it. She’s okay, you’re okay, everything’s alright, yeah?”
“I still feel so horrible for the trouble. Is there anything I can do? Please let me atleats buy you a coffee”
Steve looks at his watch. He wishes he could. “I’ve gotta get to work, im really sorry, im already cutting it close since, you know” “oh, oh my god im so so sorry”
Listen. Listen. Steve’s no saint. And there is clearly a lack of a wedding band on this guys hand and 99% of the time if a kid is at a grocery store it’s with their mom. And some of those patches-
Steve’s gotta try.
“Hey, I really have to jet but um, here’s my number. Make good on that coffee some other time?”
“Yeah, yeah absolutely! Absolutely. Thank you, so much again. You’re a lifesaver Steve” Eddie smiles taking the small paper Steve just wrote his number on. (A cocktail napkin from a gay club in indie he just happened to have in his pocket, a god ordained way of making sure they were both on the same page.
LAUGHING that Bruce apparently used to tell Dick about his adventures with Santa from when he was training across the world and Dick was like, "Oh, yeah, that sounds cool, B!" while thinking, "Aw, that's sweet that he's trying to make Santa sound more cool. Total bullshit, but sweet." AND THEN NOPE BRUCE'S LIFE IS SO GODDAMNED WEIRD THAT IT WAS TRUE.
any time i hear the insufferable transphobic athlete arguments i think of that one time in middle school when my boys lacrosse team did a full-contact scrimmage against the girls team (who typically play with limited contact) and i, a six-foot, 180lb defender, got utterly laid-out by this 5-foot-nothing girl experiencing the newly-unleashed animosity accompanied by violent sport and as i looked up at my assailant from flat on my back i experienced a brief bout of heterosexuality and fell wildly in love and then had to be taken to the ER because i had a concussion
# WHOEVER MADE THIS IS GOING TO BE FUCKING TAKEN OUT BY THE GODDAMN KGB
Random goon: Hey boss, were you the one to pick that name as an alias? And why this one?
Red Hood : I used to have another name, before... A long time ago. But that person is dead now. I get to choose for myself now, they can't take that from me. I won't let them.
Goon: Huh.
***
Random Goon: Say boss, why do you never take off your shirt in front of us?
Red Hood: Well uh, I actually have that really fucked scar on my chest and I'm not comfortable with...
Random Goon: Don't worry boss, we get it, you don't have to explain yourself to us.
***
Red Hood, high on some toxin: God, I wish my family...
Random Goon (on boss-sitting duty): why not try reaching out to them?
Red Hood: They would never accept me as I am now... They wouldn't agree with my so-called "life choices". Besides, they don't miss me, they miss the person they think I used to be... I wasn't even a man when I last saw them.
Random Goon: Damn boss, that sucks.
***
And then the goons throw the Red Hood a party on trans visibility day and Jason is so confused he straight up cries.
objectifying men in armor will literally never get old. like, work it shiny boy. hit ‘em with that old razzle dazzle you fuckin trash can. hottie! (tucks $5 into your cuirass)
au where instead of wanting to murder his own replacement, jason just decides to. replace somebody else. and that's now dick ends up in an increasingly ridiculous back and forth fight between himself and some random fucker who keeps showing up in a nightwing costume pretending to be him
dick's never been more pissed off in his life. theres literally nothing he did to deserve this, and now he has to fight for the vigilante persona HE created? it only gets worse because the more frustrated dick gets about the whole situation, the funnier this fake nightwing seems to find it.
it gets personal when damian starts calling the fake nightwing his big brother too. of course, jason was there first, but dick doesn't know that. and it's driving him fucking insane
he thinks that he's got the guy when he stands on top of a building in the middle of a massive fight, tries to do a quadrupal somersault, and promptly eats shit in front of everybody, but instead of realising he's a faker now the rest of the underworld thinks that nightwing's losing his touch.
he cries in alfred's arms at the injustice of it all.
i have ghost boy brainrot
Trauma didn't make me nice, I consciously made me nice because I don't want anyone else to suffer like I did. Trauma didn't make me strong, I made me strong. Don't you dare ever tell me my trauma made me anything but scared, broken, and confused. Don't give credit to the abusers for me being a good person. They didn't make me good, I made myself good.
biggest reason i make so many flop posts on here is because everything i do reeks of the desperation to make a popular tumblr post. this is deliberate, because it is what protects me from ACTUALLY making a popular tumblr post. so long as i crave it, tumblr fame will never find me. it is only when i turn away, and accept my fate of obscurity, that people will lay their eyes upon me. and it WILL be because i tripped and fell on my stupid face while i was turning
Bug || 22 they/them || pure chaos + lots of neurodivergent and Batman shit
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