Im Not Christian But I Do Believe In The Power Of Prayer. For This Reason I Keep A Little Homonculus

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

identity reveals are always fun

okay so there were a ton of posts/fics about the hilarious "fuck/maryy/kill" Bruce Wayne & Justice League scenario (I read them all, amazing comedic timing y'all) but to me, the most hilarious scenario is the JL play fuck/marry/kill, Bruce's name comes up, and half of the people in the room in the know immediately turn bright red and refuse to keep playing and no one will explain why.

Hal: "...and I would fuck Bruce Wayne. No, I would kill him. Nah, actually I'd fuck him, who am I kidding."

Clark: choking on his coffee and rapidly turning an alarming shade of red

Diana: "An....interesting choice, of course."

J'onn: "Shall we play a different game?"

Hal: "Wait, what? that was the game, wasn't it?"

Ollie: "I'm with Hal, I'd fuck the shit out of Bruce. He's the easiest guy I know, it's not like it'll exactly be a hardship for him."

*every single person in the room turns to Batman, standing in the corner*

Clark: "Wow! I think I just heard someone drop an ice cream cone in Guatemala. Batman, I'll need a team up."

Ollie: "For ice cream?"

Diana, standing up and putting herself in between Bruce and Hal: "This sounds dire. I will also assist."

Clark, under his breath, one hand on Bruce's back: "It's not worth it. He's not worth it. Come on. Walk it off."

"You're too young to be hurting like that." And you're too young to have two attempted murder charges, but here we are.

Say “healing your inner child” and no one bats an eye say “age regression” and society goes wild…SOCIETY

Jason should have come back to the manor post-lazarus pit and revealed himself as Jason Todd but not told the rest of the family that he’s also Red Hood. can you imagine how fucking funny that would be.

Nightwing: honestly! my family is fucking INSANE! i swear the only good one is my little brother, he died and came back and decided to ditch the vigilante life.

Red Hood: oh shit really?

Nightwing: honestly probably the smartest one out of all of us, he’s reading in bed while we’re all out here on stakeouts!

Red Hood: interesting. tell me more about how this brother is the best of all of you.

~

Red Hood: so what are you guys getting the smart handsome not-vigilante brother for Christmas?

Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin:

~

Batman: now i need all of you to have an equal share in the clean up-

Red Hood: yeah sorry, you aren’t MY dad, so i’m gonna dip. have fun cleaning!

the funniest part is when Dick and Tim decide that since Red Hood and Jason are so similar and Red Hood CLEARLY seems to like what he hears about Jason, that they should try to set the two up.

Jason, calling Roy at 4am: i need you in Gotham within the next hour so you can dress up as Red Hood and we can pretend that I’m sleeping with myself.

Roy:

Roy: i’m gonna get caught sneaking out of your bedroom with lipstick on your helmet

Jason: this is gonna be the funniest thing we’ve ever done.

jason keeps getting banned from twitter because he runs an anti jason todd account and as far as anyone else knows, jason todd is a poor little dead 15 year old.

in unrelated news, tim keeps reporting a heartless individual who makes fun of his dead brother.

The Justice League has been working to dismantle the GIW for awhile, and finally found enough evidence to get them shut down.

Superman is picked to be involved with the dismantling of the base, and equipped with some sort of strange watch bought from a family-run ghost hunting business in Illinois. Apparently, the thing prevents him from being possessed.

He has, of course, ordered fifteen of the things.

Being possessed and used to hurt his friends and family has and always will be one of his worst fears.

As they circle the base, hidden and in groups, waiting for Cyborg to bypass security-Cyborg pauses.

They have someone.

A small-town hero, Phantom. They have him strapped to an operating table, and they're literally about to start carving into him.

Superman sees red.

Inside the base, Danny's waiting for the GIW thugs to start cutting into his duplicate so he can record it and get evidence to the Justice League, so that they know these guys are really fucked up.

He isn't expecting the ceiling to suddenly go missing.

He really isn't expecting to see a spectacularly pissed off Superman start towards the GIW agents while Martian Manhunter (calm down fenton don't be a nerd don't geek out omgomgomgomggggg) himself frees the duplicate.

Then Martian Manhunter pauses.

Looks at Danny.

Danny wills himself onto the visible spectrum and allows the duplicate to dissipate.

Unfortunately, in his effort to not sound starstruck, he just sounds pissed.

"Oh, so now you show up? In the middle of my sting operation?"