Hey Have A Fun AU I Came Up With The Other Day After Reading A Bunch Of Fics With Related Tropes

Hey have a fun AU I came up with the other day after reading a bunch of fics with related tropes

It's a raised Sith AU. Anakin was found by Sidious well before he was found by Qui-Gon. He was raised by the Sith, is a classically horrible monster stalking about TCW to be Vader (mask and all, just as an intimidation factor instead of life support) while Ventress and Grievous and Dooku do their own things in a different section of the war. He's got a Really Fucking Weird dynamic with Obi-Wan, mostly attempting to kill him etc.

At some point, Palpatine allows Anakin and Padme to meet. The romance that blooms is one that Sheev decides is useful to him, so he lets it happen.*

Padme gets pregnant. Sidious arranges for her death. Anakin loses his entire shit and tries to kill Sidious. Obi-Wan is off trying to save Padme, unaware of Anakin getting his remaining limbs cut off by his this-universe Master. (This is important, because Anakin does remember Obi-Wan trying to save Padme.)

So we have Anakin, who was raised Sith, and just lost the only things that have mattered to him since his mom died when he was a kid, and Palpatine has pushed him further into the Dark than he ever has. Anakin… knows more about the Sith Secrets in this universe.

Anakin finds a Sithly Time Machine. Maybe on Malachor. There's an owl? Whatever.

Anakin, someone who's been Vader for the vast majority of his life, wakes up at age nine. Maybe even younger, like six. His mother is already dead at Sidious's hands. He's already roommates with Maul. He's already being trained as a baby Sith.

Anakin, being a 20 year old war veteran, is much better at escaping than Sidious has planned for. He reprograms a medical droid to take out his slave chip, steals a ship, etc. All the stuff that Maul wasn't very good at, and Anakin was too young for, so Sidious didn't have the preventative measures in place for yet.

Anakin heads for the one place and person he thinks he can trust: Obi-Wan Kenobi.

(Obi-Wan is still a padawan. But this Baby Sith just declared him Adoptive Teen Dad, so.)

@lizasweetling (all indented bits from here will be hers):

Because Sith. Bad for mental health of the user and generally bad for their environs But also baby. And if hes dragging Maul around no doubt the dude is constantly himself confused why he is here Like yeah, Sidious sucked, and this 6-9yo is way powerful and knowledgeable on the dark side (?????) But why are we going to the Jedi? And not even trying to kill them apparently?????

Anakin is very much being affected by Baby Brain and Baby Endocrine System. He cries a lot more than he should.

I WASN'T THINKING OF HIM BRINGING MAUL BUT YEAH. THAT'S. THAT'S A POSSIBILITY.

Jedi Council trying to decide if this is more "Adult Sith got shrunk" or "child got evil man's memories." Vader wants to know why it even MATTERS. (He didn't actually plan on telling them, but he has very little self control right now.)

The first Good Act he does is tell them where to find Ventress and Ky. (In the originally timeline, he viewed Ventress as like. Cool older cousin.)

Vader's right, that distinction does not matter Aaaw, she deserves that, that's nice Maybe she will be like 20% less homocidally traumatized

Anakin is furious when Maul and Obi-Wan pick him up under one arm like a package. He is a GROWN MAN he is an ADULT he was a SITH LORD and about to be a FATHER, he is TOO OLD FOR THIS.

They point out that he is Baby.

😂 sorry lord of evil, you're too baby, have a nap and maybe your feel better. Assuming the crisis on Naboo is still happening, and as such the vote of no confidence is right now, it might be a great time to report Sidious as a Sith lord. Post-escape from Sidious, both he and Maul definitely will need a nap. It's that kinda place.

Oh, it's probably at least a year before. Anakin keeps trying to sneak off to kill the man himself, but the Jedi are more ready for his Sneaking than Mustafar was, so he keeps getting caught before he can reach the Senate.

At one point he tries to just CHARGE the place and you get Mace and Obi-Wan sprinting after him. The News captures videos of this very small child getting chased by an older Padawan and a Master and they are mostly yelling for him to PUT DOWN THE SABER.

(Sidious might see him but what's he going to do? Might cause too many problems for Sidious to be aware of Anakin's presence with the Jedi, though. Best not.)

It's probably more expensive on average to hire an assassin ona child, just in general But on a jedi youngling??? If he can even find someone to do that, it will be so very, ridiculously expensive And likely 70%+ upfront payments

Ahsoka definitely seeks him out. Toddler baby child. She adores him for reasons unclear to anyone and everyone.

!!! Baby has baby!! Vader's probably a little thrown by this. Been a while subjectively since someone just loved him. And not even for like, a reason. Baby Vader coerced into sitting obediently for nap by tired kiddo: [The council liked that]

The number of times that vader could only be convinced to nap by Obi-Wan grabbing him, caging him in his own lap, and forced to Sit Quietly until he just fell asleep like that...

He has things to do, he's not tired 😡😡😡💢 (He's 9. Distances are between 150 and 195% longer when measured with steps, he's hungry (subjectively) all the time, and has only middling coordination He so is too tired)

Anakin doesn't know Qui-Gon at all but he keeps getting stuffed into the man's top because he's just. Small enough to fit.

Like the bomb boobs gif, but it's a small child.

the indignity

You just. You can't let him get too self-important.

Vader is Disgusted every time the pediatric healers try to talk down to him like they do to other 6yos.

The difference between this and other "Vader goes back in time to the Jedi" AUs (like Force of Many Sights) is that this Vader has never been a Jedi, and doesn't know anything about them except how they fight when he's trying to kill their friends.

Also Maul's there.

Because even he has a hard time taking himself seriously when hes so easy to manhandle Rest of the time; I am fear, I am death personified As luggage child: I am so small. The tiniest. I crave violence He's probably very annoyed they keep taking away his saber And hey! Obi gets practice not losing his! Woooo!

The Onion: Kitten Thinks of Nothing but Murder All Day, followed by image of kitten

Something something Anakin clinging to Maul's back (piggy back ride) and chewing on his head or something stupid like that. Perfect height for head biting.

Two adults giving piggyback rides to two children

Screenshot of a google image search of "anime head bite," with the irrelevant images scribbled out

You know, the classic anime head bite

Maul probably has been nominally talked into this because this 9yo is a powerful darksider But he is also the world's most annoying tiny kid Maul would've thought his phenotype would make him immune to this ridiculousness He was wrong At least the teeth are a bit less pointy than his other little brothers'? Appreciating the little things

tfw your unwanted little brother drags you to what you think is a cult but actually they're way less culty than your last two places so you just stick around to keep an eye on the little shit

Anyway. ObiMaul for this one.

They're peers They're tired They just want to sit down and not have to chase this weird little murder child They have a lot in common 😊

They are all just a little bit stupid, I love them.

Qui-Gon is a Cool Mom (throws condoms at them and books it).

Yeah, that's about as much involvement as would be appreciated They probably did a lot of sparring before the tension broke Which did not relieve said tension, generally made it worse (Competence, athleticism, sweat-) Vader is confused, but probably doesn't mind He's probably glad they're distracting each other from stopping assassinating a certain someone (Which- that is 9yo hubris. He would need help to do that)

I still can't decide where on 6yo-9yo he falls but somewhere in there

Babies means easier hiding in shirt, teenie Ahsoka, and longer for him to convince the Jedi council to do a Sith hunt before the Naboo situation

Also longer for Maul and Obi-Wan to faff about being all Tension

* Vaguely inspired by the backstory of Rulebreaker/Wildheart, which is great but significantly more of a romance fic than this.

More Posts from Bunnygo21 and Others

bunnygo21

1 year ago

my favorite piece of modern art is Ai Weiwei’s Sunflower Seeds, over one hundred million hand-painted ceramic sunflower seeds made by dozens of craftsmen

52K notes View Post

bunnygo21

1 year ago

It's kinda poetic that most of the Jedi who survive 66 are younglings or half trained Padawans. Cause for all the propaganda painting the Jedi as baby stealers who sentenced those children to death, every single one of those Jedi are children whose Masters did everything in their power to keep that baby alive - even when it meant their own death.

2K notes View Post

bunnygo21

1 year ago

original character in chinese wuxia style of 旋风博文

68K notes View Post

bunnygo21

1 year ago

38K notes View Post

bunnygo21

1 year ago

Maids, cleaners, janitors, and sanitation workers are all the most important people of civilization by far. Even 12 hours without them is VERY noticable and they simply need to be highly compensated for it

141K notes View Post

bunnygo21

2 years ago

for the fic title game, 'you're the ghost of your predecessors'?

OKAY so I know a lot of people will be thinking like Tim or Damian for this one, and I get it. I get it. But Steph. Fic with Steph focusing on her sense of identity and how it's always been tied so closely to other people. First, her father, as Spoiler. Next, as Robin, everyone that came before her—Dick, Jason, Tim. Wanting so desperately to be her own Robin—good like they were, but in her own way, but at every turn she was condescended to, compared, disrespected, and just couldn't be her own Robin.

Then there was Batgirl, and Batgirl was a breath of fresh air. Batgirl wasn't under Bruce’s jurisdiction any more than Oracle was—Batgirl wasn't Robin. But, but, but. As Batgirl, she had to be as smart as Babs, as strong as Cass, and as kind as the both of them. As Batgirl, the load to be as good as her predecessors was one she put on herself, to prove their trust in her wasn't misplaced or misguided. Another mantle, more legacies to uphold.

Then, fast forward a bit, and she's Spoiler again. And Spoiler was created to spoil her father's plots and get him in jail, but, well, he's been in jail for around three years now, and with the strings she's sure were tugged, he's not getting out any time soon. And, she- Spoiler is hers. Nobody's but hers. And she doesn't know how to feel about having a title that's just hers.

She's still got the weight of Robin and Batgirl on her shoulders, but maybe this is one she doesn't mind bearing. She's a ghost of her predecessors, but it doesn't sound so negative now. Maybe she can live with that.

She's a reflection of everyone that's come before her, and that isn't too bad. Dick's determination, Jason’s compassion, Tim's crazy-smart kindness, Cass' strength, Babs' intelligence. Bruce’s paranoia.

Damian has your bravery, Tim tells her once, and she almost breaks down sobbing. She can be a ghost of her predecessors, if that means those that come after her will be a ghost of her too.

142 notes View Post

bunnygo21

1 year ago

“Obi-Wan Picked Up Anakin’s Lightsaber. He Lifted His Own As Well, Weighting Them In His Hands. Anakin

“Obi-Wan picked up Anakin’s lightsaber. He lifted his own as well, weighting them in his hands. Anakin had based his design upon Obi-Wan’s. So similar they were. “

9K notes View Post

bunnygo21

1 year ago

I think the Hunger Games series sits in a similar literary position to The Lord of the Rings, as a piece of literature (by a Catholic author) that sparked a whole new subgenre and then gets blamed for flaws that exist in the copycat books and aren’t actually part of the original.

Like, despite what parodies might say, Katniss is nowhere near the stereotypical “unqualified teenager chosen to lead a rebellion for no good reason”. The entire point is that she’s not leading the rebellion. She’s a traumatized teenager who has emotional reactions to the horrors in her society, and is constantly being reined in by more experienced adults who have to tell her, “No, this is not how you fight the government, you are going to get people killed.” She’s not the upstart teenager showing the brainless adults what to do–she’s a teenager being manipulated by smarter and more experienced adults. She has no power in the rebellion except as a useful piece of propaganda, and the entire trilogy is her straining against that role. It’s much more realistic and far more nuanced than anyone who dismisses it as “stereotypical YA dystopian” gives it credit for.

And the misconceptions don’t end there. The Hunger Games has no “stereotypical YA love triangle”–yes, there are two potential love interests, but the romance is so not the point. There’s a war going on! Katniss has more important things to worry about than boys! The romance was never about her choosing between two hot boys–it’s about choosing between two diametrically opposed worldviews. Will she choose anger and war, or compassion and peace? Of course a trilogy filled with the horrors of war ends with her marriage to the peace-loving Peeta. Unlike some of the YA dystopian copycats, the romance here is part of the message, not just something to pacify readers who expect “hot love triangles” in their YA.

The worldbuilding in the Hunger Games trilogy is simplistic and not realistic, but unlike some of her imitators, Collins does this because she has something to say, not because she’s cobbling together a grim and gritty dystopia that’s “similar to the Hunger Games”. The worldbuilding has an allegorical function, kept simple so we can see beyond it to what Collins is really saying–and it’s nothing so comforting as “we need to fight the evil people who are ruining society”. The Capitol’s not just the powerful, greedy bad guys–the Capitol is us, First World America, living in luxury while we ignore the problems of the rest of the world, and thinking of other nations largely in terms of what resources we can get from them. This simplistic world is a sparsely set stage that lets us explore the larger themes about exploitation and war and the horrors people will commit for the sake of their bread and circuses, meant to make us think deeper about what separates a hero from a villain.

There’s a reason these books became a literary phenomenon. There’s a reason that dozens upon dozens of authors attempted to imitate them. But these imitators can’t capture that same genius, largely because they’re trying to imitate the trappings of another book, and failing to capture the larger and more meaningful message underneath. Make a copy of a copy of a copy, and you’ll wind up with something far removed from the original masterpiece. But we shouldn’t make the mistake of blaming those flaws on the original work.

158K notes View Post

bunnygo21

2 years ago

Time Meassured In Robins And Commissioner Gordon’s Hair. EDIT PATCH NOTES: Added Steph.

Time meassured in Robins and Commissioner Gordon’s Hair. EDIT PATCH NOTES: Added steph.

Keep reading

76K notes View Post

bunnygo21

2 years ago

Alternate ending of The Horse And The Infant;

Eurylochus: Captain. What is that

Odysseus, holding baby Astyanax, smiling: A gift from the gods! A boy for us to take back to Ithaca and for me to raise as my own. A token of our victory, if you will.

Polites: Not to doubt you, my friend and king, but is that not the baby the gods said you must kill?

Odysseus, with a slightly more strained smile: I am unsure what you mean, my friend. This is but a harmless babe.

Eurylochus: No, Captain, I remember Lord Zeus clearly saying he'll be the death of us all-

Odysseus, louder: I remember no such thing. Come, we must sail! Ithaca, my wife, my son, need us home.

Polites, to Eurylochus: Does he take us for blind?

Eurylochus: He takes us for loyal. Which we are, unfortunately.

1K notes View Post