Bunnyoftheapocalypse - Bunny Of The Apocalypse

do you know what it’s like to be unmade?

That bear is TOTALLY pleased with himself!

Fuck yeah.

Presenting: CATWS in 3 minutes

Trying to take back myself

Well, I haven't been looking on Tumblr for months now much less posted anything. A short while after my last post (back in October 2010) I was unexpectedly released by my Master. It was a complete blindside for me. When I had talked to him on Friday things were fine. Monday morning he released me.

I do understand his reasons and they had nothing to do with *me* but with his immediate family situation. Yes, I did know what had been going on with it but he didn't give me any idea that he was going to so abruptly make this decision. So no real warning at all for it for me. And it was while I was at work. By YahooIM. 

It's been THIS long (now the beginning of March 2011) for me to really realize just how badly hurt I was and the extent of the affect it has had on me. And the affect it is having on my other relationships. 

It completely shattered my self confidence and ability to trust or be secure in a relationship. I've been a neurotic mess for months. I'm lucky enough to have a wonderful husband who has been trying to help me as well as a Dom I was allowed to still play with by my ex-Master who was also a good friend, and has become one of my best friends by this time. They both didn't let me curl up in my bed and completely draw away from everything to do with the lifestyle. I love them both beyond words for everything they've done for me and all their patience with me through the past months.

Now, I'm *finally* in a place with myself that I am starting what is I'm sure will be a long road to rebuild myself and my confidence in myself so that I can be happy again and a less neurotic train wreck. (hey, I'm not perfect! I'm sure I'll still have my bad days.) It's a daunting thing to consider how much work I think I'll be needing to do to get my confidence back, but it will be worth it. For me and for them. We will all be happier. I have absolutely no doubt about that. 

So, as part of remaking myself I am going to be taking my Tumblr back for myself as well. I had set it up for myself and it turned into something I did for the ex. I'm sure I'll end up posting things having to do with what I want done to me by my friend who is also now my Dominant as well. 

I've gone back and forth over removing my past posts having directly to do with the ex. But (at least for now) have decided not to. They were part of my life at that time so while I might not want to think about it right now, they are a good reminder of the things I am capable of. At least, what I'm capable of when I'm a whole person and not the badly damaged mess I still am right now.

I will get back to the person I was then and be the better for it as well since I am now going to have a better understanding of myself through having to identify and rebuild the damaged parts of myself. I will have a better foundation for my sense of self and confidence. 

So while this sucks sweaty dirty donkey balls right now and I'm sure will for some time, I want myself back. I used to generally *like* myself. I don't right now. I don't like the person I've become. So I will fix it. The process will probably be quite unpleasant at times, but I want to like myself again and be happy with who I am. 

And I will.

Hello, class. Today I would like to tell you why “Yasha” is not a good thing for you to call Bucky in fic while he is the Winter Soldier.

It’s not “James” in Russian. It’s not. “Yasha” is the diminutive of “Yakov,” which is obviously Jacob. And yes, I know they have the same Aramaic? (I think) root, but like, here’s the deal – neither I (immigrated from the former Soviet Union as a child) nor my parents (lived in the Soviet Union for a good chunk of their lives) have ever met anyone named Yasha who wasn’t Jewish.

Don’t come at me with some exception you found on the internet – it’s a name that carries strong signifiers of Eastern European Jewishness. And we all know how the Soviets felt about Eastern European Jews (in case you don’t know – hint: really fuckin’ not great). It’s really unlikely that they would give a name with those signifiers to their super-weapon, especially in order to give him a name that’s etymologically close to his given name. 

Now, what should you call him instead?

Keep reading

If you go to the LaughingSquid site they have a clip of the heads in motion. Actually a bit creepy. But I still kinda want one.

Zip Synch, A Kinetic Sculpture by Nemo Gould That Transforms Film Canisters into Chomping Heads

Hey Everyone! I’m so excited! Smut For Smarties has been nominated for an @LAWEEKLY BEST OF THE WEB AWARD for Best Sex Blog!!! Even better news … I’ve been nominated alongside @SexNerdSandra!!! Give us BOTH a vote won’t you?

http://polls.laweekly.com/polls/law/webawardsfinalists2013/(via LA Weekly Poll)